Chapter Seven #2
“Oh my God.” I close my eyes and back out of the room, pulling the door shut behind me.
There’s murmuring coming from inside the room, and I take a second to try to settle the hammering of my heart.
“I’m so sorry,” I say through the door and race down the stairs and out of the house as quickly as possible, wishing I could disappear entirely.
Ignoring the bit of snow starting to fall, I slide into Chloe’s car and stare out the windshield, not daring to look back at the house. Of course that’s when I notice Simone’s car parked across the street.
“Is she coming?” Chloe asks.
“Pretty damn close,” I say, and my face feels flushed.
“What does that mean?”
“It means she’s busy.” Chloe stares at me, still clearly confused. My phone vibrates, and without looking, I know it’s Alex. “We should just go.”
“Why? What’s going on? Does she need more time or—”
“She’s with Simone.” The images of them in bed flash inside my mind, and I squeeze my eyes shut and attempt to think of anything other than Simone’s breasts.
A slow smile spreads across Chloe’s lips. “No shit? Good for her.”
My phone buzzes, and this time, it doesn’t stop. I send the call to voice mail, not yet ready to deal with the fallout of walking in on my best friend having sex.
“Okay, then, it’s just you and me, babe.” Chloe shifts her car into reverse and slowly backs out of the driveway. “Alex is ringing in the new year with a bang. I love it.”
Against my better judgment I glance back at the house. It’s just as quiet as it was before I let myself in. Except this time, I slouch low, embarrassed and unsettled.
The party is…fine. It’s not a big, loud college frat party where people are drinking questionable beverages mixed in even more questionable containers.
It’s a mellower, low-key get-together of a few dozen kids from high school, all excited to catch up and talk about what they’ve been up to these past few months post-graduation.
Except I’m not that interested in what they’ve all been doing. I’m too wrapped up in wondering when the hell Alex and Simone started having sex and why Alex felt she had to keep it a secret.
Okay, I know why she didn’t say anything. My reaction to her showing interest in Simone this past summer was less than inviting.
Somewhere near ten, I finally cave and read Alex’s texts. The first one is an apology for missing a string of my earlier messages, followed by another apology for missing our meetup time, followed by a few asking if it was still okay if she came to the party.
Feeling guilty, I tell her that yeah, we’ll wait for her to get here.
After catching up with just about everyone we know, Chloe and I camp out in the side room, close to the kitchen, both of us kind of over being here. I’m no longer in a party mood, and Chloe seems to deflate once she realizes Jon Jacobs probably isn’t coming.
Alex finally shows up around ten thirty, and to my relief, Simone isn’t with her. She finds us easily and leans against the wall next to where we’re sitting. Despite the heavy coat and knit cap, she looks frozen.
“Regret buying the bike?” Chloe quips, nodding to her helmet.
“Never,” Alex fires back. She turns to me. “We should talk.”
“About what?” I ask innocently.
A flash of annoyance crosses over her face before it’s quickly replaced by something akin to pleading. “Come on. I’m sure we can find an empty room.”
Haven’t you had your fill of empty rooms? But that isn’t fair. She hasn’t done anything wrong. How many times did Tyler and I take advantage of an empty house? Just because Alex doesn’t talk about her sex life doesn’t mean she doesn’t have one.
“I’m not leaving Chloe.” It’s a lame excuse. We’ve ditched each other plenty of times to go hook up or hang out with someone else. That’s why it doesn’t surprise me when Chloe rolls her eyes and pushes me away.
“Just go talk. It’s weird when you two are fighting.”
I want to tell her we aren’t fighting, but even I know that I’m acting like a brat. I place my cup on the closest table and follow Alex up the stairs and into one of the bedrooms.
Alex sits on the foot of the bed, and I sit beside her. We’re quiet, the only sounds coming from the party downstairs and the giggles of a couple of girls looking for the upstairs bathroom.
I wait for her to start. To say something to break the sudden awkwardness and silence between us.
Plus, she’s the one who wanted to talk. If I had my way, I’d avoid this conversation for the remainder of my life.
But she doesn’t say a single word. Instead, she stares at her hands in her lap, looking completely unbothered.
And for some reason, that frustrates me even more.
“Why didn’t you lock the door?” I blurt.
“In my own house?” She laughs, but I don’t find the humor. “To be fair, people usually wait until someone says ‘come in’ before they actually, you know, come in.”
“I texted you so many times,” I continue, pretending she isn’t one hundred percent correct. “You said you’d be ready, then you just disappeared. I called you and texted, and when I got to your house, I yelled for you, but you didn’t answer.”
She stares at me with an unreadable expression, and I rub my eyes, already tired of this fight. Especially when it’s clear that I’m the one in the wrong, and all of this could’ve been avoided if I had just fucking rung the doorbell.
I sigh. “I’m sorry. I thought you were napping. I didn’t think you would be doing…that.”
She arches a brow. “You act like you’ve never seen people have sex before.”
“I’ve never seen you have sex before,” I confess without thinking.
Alex gives me a strange look, and I can’t say I blame her. I should’ve said “No, I haven’t seen two people have sex before.” Well, outside of that one time Chloe and I curiously checked out that website. And then the time I…never mind. Not the point.
“What if you’d walked in on me and Tyler? Wouldn’t you be freaking out a little?”
Her face scrunches, and I wish I could take that back as well. “I’d probably be more grossed out than anything.”
Just like that, embarrassment shifts to insult. “Hey!”
Alex laughs. Again. “We weren’t having sex. I mean, obviously, we were getting there.” She runs her hand through her hair, exhales deeply, then bumps her shoulder with mine. “Until you killed the vibe anyway.” Her tone suggests she’s teasing, but I can tell she’s disappointed.
My guilt expands tenfold. “I’m sorry I cooch blocked you.”
“Cooch blocked?”
“I don’t know. What else would you call it?”
She rubs her chin and makes a show of thinking about it. “Cliterference, clam jam, beaver impeder, bushwacked…”
“Okay, okay!” I cover her mouth to get her to stop talking. “Jeez, I’m sorry I asked.” I can feel her smile against my palm, and my stomach flutters. “I thought you’d be more of a top,” I tease, removing my hand.
“Oh, I am,” she assures me. “But in this case, it’s more of a power bottom kind of situation.”
I blink. “I don’t know what that means.”
For the briefest of moments, I think she’s going to actually explain it. Instead, she playfully taps my nose. “It means, I promise to lock the door next time. Even in my empty house.”
Silence once again fills the space between us, the awkwardness dissipated but not quite gone.
I rack my brain for something clever to say, but all I can think about is how I’ll definitely be looking up what power bottom means.
She’s acting unbothered by the entire thing, except her shoulders are taut, and it makes me wonder if she’s struggling through this conversation as much as I am.
I chew the inside of my cheek and debate asking what I really want to know.
When the silence becomes too much, I decide to go for it. It’s not like this conversation can get any more awkward. “I didn’t know you and Simone were…you know.”
Alex flops backward on the bed. “We aren’t. We weren’t. It just sort of happened.”
Not knowing how sex just sort of happens, I lie beside her, our shoulders touching, and listen to the sounds of the party below.
“We aren’t dating,” she adds after a beat. “We were just…”
“Horny?” I supply. “Does she know you wear a retainer?”
Alex glares. “Shut up.”
We lie in silence until eventually, I crack a smile. “Beaver impeder?”
She turns her head to look at me. “I’m kind of fond of taco blocko.”
The awkwardness slowly starts to melt away. “You’re so gay.”
“And you’re so straight,” she easily fires back.
I shrug.
“Hey, you two kiss and make up?” Chloe asks from the doorway.
“Yup,” Alex says without moving.
The fluttering starts up in my stomach again at the mention of kissing.
Chloe lies down on my other side, and the three of us quietly stare at the ceiling.
The music downstairs isn’t blaring, but it’s loud enough that we can hear a truly horrible song from when we were seniors.
There are a few cheers and a couple of boos, and all and all, it’s just a little bit cringe.
If this were a year ago, it would probably be funny.
But for some reason, it all feels like a distant memory.
Like we’re trying to be something we used to be but aren’t anymore.
I don’t want to be here anymore.
Chloe must be thinking the same because she groans and says, “Anyone else want to go back to my place and convince my mom to let us drink champagne at midnight while we make fun of all the weirdos hanging out at Times Square?”
“Yup,” Alex and I say at the same time. We scramble to get up and rush down the stairs, anxious to get away from the past.