CHAPTER NINETEEN
A covered porch, not a horse. A rocking chair, not a saddle.
My body throbbed as if I’d been thrown from a moving car, not knocked across the dirt.
Fully cognizant, I knew where I was: Sacred and True.
But getting up and getting here existed in a trail of haze.
I was supposed to be riding Winnie right now.
Del was not in the second chair. She paced the outer bounds of the porch. “You sure you don’t want some Motrin or something?”
I shook my head. I’d already told her about the pre-ride Aleve.
“Arm?” she asked.
That was right, the gash that had ripped along my right forearm when I fell against the splintered edge of the mounting block. I peeked. A red blotch seeped under the gauze bandage Del had fished out of an emergency kit. A watercolor stain oozed too far onto the edges. “Um.”
She frowned. “Shit. I didn’t think so at first, but you might need stitches.”
I hated needles more than non-Jif peanut butter. “No stitches. It’ll be okay.”
She faced me, hand hooked onto one hip. “Why did I know you were gonna say that?”
There it was, leaching between us like the blood I’d lost outside her stable. My chance to learn more about her abilities. “Did you see what Winnie was gonna do?”
Del blanched, auburn hair blowing in the hot July breeze. “I’m really sorry, Sylvie. We take pride in safety here. I mean, you signed the waiver, but most of the time it’s just a formality. Win got spooked, and I don’t like it. Mom won’t either when she hears.”
“I know, and it’s okay. But that’s not what I asked.”
Her face went tight. “You think I would’ve stood there, knowing a massive animal was about to rear up like that, and not step in? Not shout one word of warning to not mount, or to hold tight and give me the line? You think I would’ve let that happen?”
I exhaled and brushed a layer of dust from my jeans. “No. You didn’t for Lucy Hall.”
One thing about Del—she’d never be able to hide her feelings. Angry pink blotches bloomed over her neck, in the open V of her shirt. “Which you love to bring up.”
“But only with you! I said I wouldn’t tell anyone what you saw about me, and I haven’t.” Ghosts excluded, but I got a pass for that. “Sorry, okay, I know you hate your gift.”
A pause. “I never said ‘hate.’ I could never hate the fact that I saved someone’s life.”
I rolled my eyes. “Del.”
The moment she relented swept across her shoulders, and finally, she sat.
“I lied before. It’s happened maybe five times.
The nausea afterward too. But those were just little bits or insights.
Nothing as big as the accident or as clear as what I heard at the lake.
And the truth is, it’s a lot of responsibility—seeing into people’s lives and all.
I don’t understand it,” she admitted. “There’s no cheat manual for what I can do. ”
Her jaw cranked to one side.
“I guess there isn’t one for boyfriend troubles either. But we keep going on, yeah?”
“There is a manual for that, actually,” I said. “Taylor Swift’s entire song catalog.”
Del laughed, then shrank into a smaller, more vulnerable version of herself I hadn’t witnessed yet.
“Did something happen with Ethan?” I asked, recalling his demeanor when I pulled up. Maybe his aloofness hadn’t been about me at all. Maybe Del’s attitude the past couple days hadn’t either.
“Ethan and I had it out before you got here. There’s this one thing that makes me want to strangle him—I dunno. Maybe I just need a new perspective. Some fresh ears.” She craned her neck, eyeing me expectantly.
I scoffed. “Oh no, I’m relationship kryptonite.” But Penn was instantly in my head with his soft and steady tell me and the way he never made me feel judged. Maybe Del just needed someone to listen. “But if I’m the best you’ve got . . . go on,” I said over an exhale. “Say more.”
Del nodded and set the rocking chair into motion.
“Ethan is always promising to do stuff—run little errands, help out around here, but he’s got ADHD and refuses to write anything down.
Today, he got sidetracked because he went to the next town over to surprise me with this coffee I love.
” She motioned aimlessly. “But he forgot to go over to feed and walk Troy Bolton and my other pets. Mom and I are stuck here all day. The coffee run was sweet, but the animals are more important. And this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. ”
“Oof. Not the pets,” I said. Did this count as advice? “This might sound harsh, but why do you stick around if he keeps dropping the ball? Why not peace-out?”
Del halted abruptly. “And break my own heart?”
Mine thudded against my ribs. “I guess I never thought of it like that.” Leaving had always seemed so easy for the people in my life.
“Sure, for some people it might be a deal-breaker. But for me, it’s an issue, not an exit sign,” Del said.
I shrugged, conceding. “I tried—I told you I suck at this. I can’t really relate either. It’s not like I’ve ever had my heart broken.” “Seriously? Not even once?”
Was I really that much of an outlier for this? “Weeks of hurt and moping and regret? No thanks.”
A soft sheen glazed over her eyes. Then she sighed.
“Hearing it all out loud, I think I was too hard on Ethan. We need to work on some stuff, but he’s a really good guy.
You know, I had my heart broken really badly before he came along.
Terrible. The worst.” She cracked a sad smile. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”
I barely had time to dodge the onslaught of thoughts before the scene along the stable grounds changed. The horses were back.
I aligned my gaze with Del, who was following the action around one of the paddocks. The ranch hands who’d bolted over earlier to help with a spooked Winnie and a confused Bear were leading both animals into the fenced grassy area. We should’ve been riding them right now.
My mind reversed at the return of the beautiful Arabian and Morgan. A hundred times over, I’d relive Winnie’s piercing shriek. The sudden rear of her body that threw me off the saddle.
I didn’t blame the mare then. I still didn’t.
“They look happy out there,” I noted. Free and calm on the grass, their slick coats soaking up the sun.
Del’s face carried all the trouble. “I still have no idea what spooked her.”
“Maybe she saw or heard something.” I squinted into the late-morning light.
“Did you?” Del pressed.
I cut through the blur, forcing my memory into those last few seconds before I’d approached to mount.
I’d been nervous, further away from my own element as I’d ever remembered.
Still, I couldn’t recall anything that would have startled Winnie.
I shook my head. “Keep in mind, everything I know about horses is whatever you taught me today.”
Del broke away, turning. “I mean, that kind of behavior does happen. But it hasn’t with Winnie for years.”
Reality clicked in. There were no loud noises or sudden movements.
But there had been a girl who had a gift for seeing.
And another wearing a different kind of enchantment.
In the stable, Winnie and I had definitely shared something that lived beyond our current realm.
I checked the watch face again, mentally kicking myself for not looking before I mounted.
Right now, the second hand was still, and I’d bet anything that hadn’t changed in the last thirty minutes.
No, the impending arrival of a lost ghost had not set off Winnie.
Penn’s voice and my promise rammed into my skull, and I would’ve lost my footing again if I weren’t stuffed into the rocking chair.
The second anything changes between you and that watch, you take it off.
My hand clamped over the dial. I dropped my head, and acid churned in my stomach. I wasn’t sure like Penn’s grandpa had been. For me to take off this watch, I was going to need more than a flimsy hunch about its so-called dangers. Right now, it still wasn’t my time.
“Are you okay?” Del asked. “Is it your head or your arm—”
“Yes. No—I . . .” I stood, but not too fast. “I think I just need to go and clean up. Good luck talking to Ethan.”
“Wait,” she called.
It took everything for me to halt on the porch riser.
Del gave a tight smile. “I feel bad you didn’t get to ride.
You still get to cash in your offer. We can get you a different horse, and my mom can be here too just to make sure everything’s good.
” She laughed, but it only came out halfway.
“The next time you text me about a ride, I’ll answer right away. ”
“Thanks. I’ll think about it,” I said, with no intention of following through yet again. I waved and darted toward the white truck.
“Sylvie!” Del called again when I was yards away.
This time I didn’t stop.