Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
My pulse skyrockets, and my eyes grow big as I stare at my phone.
Why is he calling me?
I sent him a three-word text that could easily be responded to with a yes or no. What type of person just calls?
Maybe I should send an excuse instead of answering.
Then again, what if he isn’t okay? What if he's sitting in his room crying?
I suck in a breath and let it out through barred teeth.
I have to answer it.
My head feels light as I reach down and swipe the green button with the faintest touch.
“Hello?” I cringe at the sound of my horribly strained and embarrassing voice.
“Hey,” he says. His voice isn’t as chipper as usual, but he doesn’t sound too upset. If anything, he sounds tired.
I don’t know what to say. I’m awkward enough in person. Phone calls are worse because I can’t read people. I need to see the person I’m talking to. That helps me understand how to respond.
“I’m okay,” he finally says, answering my question.
I bite my lip and scratch my head, trying to force a response. “Why did you call? You could’ve just texted.”
. . . like a normal teenager.
He half laughs. “You’re right. I could’ve, but I wanted to hear your voice.”
I furrow my eyebrows. Did he take my text the wrong way?
“And you wanted to do that because?” I ask.
He pauses before responding. “I wanted to make sure you were okay too.”
I sink into my bed, resting my back on the pillows. “Again, you could’ve texted.”
“Mmm, no. You’re the type that would lie over text.”
My jaw drops. “What? I wouldn’t lie.”
“Oh really? So, what would you have said if I asked you if you were okay?”
“I would’ve said I was.”
He clicks his tongue. “Liar.”
I gasp. “What? No. I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t expect to see Jordy upset like that, but I was fine. And then . . .”
A door slams downstairs, shaking one of the pictures on my wall. I stare at my door for a long moment, tears burning my eyes.
“And then what?” Caleb asks.
“It’s nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“My parents are fighting again,” I whisper in slight disbelief that I’m telling him about it.
“Does that happen a lot?”
My vision becomes blurred by tears. I wipe them away with the sleeve of my shirt. “Yeah. It does.”
“I’m sorry.”
I focus on the movie posters across the room, but it tugs at my heart even more. I don’t just want them to stop fighting. I want Dad to notice me again. “I wish my mom could understand that we’re not like her. We can’t go back to normal the way she did.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “We all deal with loss differently. I bet she isn’t doing as well as she seems.”
I roll my eyes. “Well, she has me fooled.”
Mom went back to work the week after the accident. She dove back into her social life and chores without missing a step. As far as I’m concerned, she’s too happy. Too normal.
“Jordy is kind of like her.”
“What do you mean?”
“His anxiety attacks started after we lost our dad. He became hyper focused on making sure everything was perfect so nothing would ever go wrong again. He’s fine most days, but every once in a while, the smallest thing can send him spiraling.”
I’d always thought Jordy was quirky—and maybe a little rude, if I’m being honest—but I never realized he had anxiety. My heart hurts as I think of his small body on the floor, hyperventilating and sobbing.
“What happened this time?”
“He got a C on a math assignment,” Caleb says.
“Will he be okay?”
“Yeah, he took some medicine, and he’s going to bed now.”
Caleb handled the situation a million times better than I ever would’ve, but I’m curious how he got Jordy to calm down. “What was the ice for?”
“It’s a grounding technique. When Jordy gets upset, we try to help him focus on things outside of his thoughts.”
“Where did you learn that?”
“Jordy sees a therapist once a week,” he says.
It seems like everyone around me won’t stop talking about therapy, and for some reason, just the mention of it sounds alarms in my head. I don’t want to go. Talking to someone about how I feel won’t bring Ethan back, so why does it matter at all?
He continues, “It’s helped a lot.”
“You sound tired,” I say, changing the subject.
He laughs. “It’s that obvious?”
“You already sound half asleep.” I pull my blankets over my legs, settling in.
“Yeah, it’s been a long day.”
I take my laptop off my nightstand and open it up, navigating to my latest TV show. “Well, goodnight. You should get some rest.”
“No, it’s okay. I can talk more if you want.”
The weird thing is that I almost want to. Almost. I don’t want the kind of relationship he wants, but it’s nice to be able to talk to someone as a friend again. The problem is I don’t think we could ever truly be friends if he likes me. I’d be leading him on, and I don’t want to be that person.
“That’s alright,” I say. “I’m going to watch a show.”
“Which one?”
“Lost in Space. The newer version.”
“I haven’t seen it. Is it good?”
“What?” He might as well have kicked me in the gut. “It’s a masterpiece. The character development. The plot. The special effects.” I sigh. “It’s pure gold. I’ve watched all three seasons twice already. This is my third time through.”
“That good, huh?”
“I’m a tough critic, so believe me when I say this show is perfection. Ten out of ten, would recommend.”
“Even better than Star Trek?”
I gasp. “That’s like asking someone to choose between their children. I will not.”
He laughs.
A smile tugs at my lips too.
“Well, enjoy your show,” he says. “I’ll have to watch it sometime.”
“You really should.”
“I’ll put it on my watchlist right now.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you on Monday,” I say.
“See you then.” He pauses. “Goodnight, Bec.”
I try to suppress my little smile. “Goodnight.”
When we hang up, I realize despite my initial apprehension, it’s becoming more and more clear that Caleb is easy to talk to.
And no matter how much I don’t want to admit it, I might be starting to enjoy talking to him.