Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“Why does your mom keep calling?” I ask Caleb as her contact lights up the screen on the dash.
This is, at least, the third time she’s called if not more. I’m starting to get nervous.
“We’re almost home. I’ll talk to her when we get there.”
“What if something’s wrong?” In the back of my mind, I wonder if she found out about us already. Maybe someone posted a picture with us in the background, and she saw it. What if she’s already filed a report against my dad and we didn’t even have the chance to stop her?
Caleb squeezes my hand. “I’m sure everything’s fine. It’s a couple of minutes past my curfew, so she’s probably just wondering where I am. It’ll be fine. I promise.”
I cringe, knowing I’m about to be blamed for him being late. I grab my bag and hug it close, even though it’s clunky and full of soda from the dance. We had way too much, and I’m not one to waste liquid gold.
We near his house. As his headlights light up the driveway, his mom comes running out the front door.
I sink lower in my seat, not ready to face her.
She comes right up to Caleb’s side of the car, yanking the door open. “Please tell me Jordy is with you.”
I know she sees me sitting next to Caleb . . .
“I haven’t seen him since before I left,” Caleb replies.
She rubs her forehead. “He’s gone. I’ve searched everywhere.”
“Did something happen?”
She nods. “He found out about my promotion.”
Caleb tenses up. “How long has he been gone?”
“An hour.” She folds her arms across her chest. “I thought he ran outside to blow off steam, but he never came back.”
She keeps stealing glances at me, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Did you track his phone?” Caleb asks.
She nods. “He left his phone here.”
Caleb rubs his chin in thought, trying to stay calm. “You called—”
“I’ve called everyone.”
I rack my brain, trying to think of any possibilities they haven’t thought of. I think back to every conversation we’ve had, hoping that there’ll be a clue.
I look up suddenly. “Did you look at the park a couple of blocks down?”
They both turn to me with dumbfounded looks.
“Why would I look there?” Mrs. Park asks, a hint of annoyance at my suggestion.
“He told me he used to go there with his dad,” I say. “That it’s his favorite park.”
She covers her mouth with her hand, and her eyes fall. “I forgot about that.”
“Do you want us to go check?” Caleb asks. “It would only take a couple of minutes to drive there.”
Instead of answering, Mrs. Park jumps into the back seat. “Let’s go,” she says, buckling herself in.
Caleb reaches over and squeezes my hand as he puts the car into reverse. His touch ripples up my arm; I’m hyperaware of his mother behind us.
Her gaze makes the skin on the back of my neck crawl. When is she going to say something about the fact that I’m in the passenger seat of Caleb’s car, holding his hand? Caleb backs up the car and drives down the street.
The silence is thick.
I stare out the window, watching the houses roll by and trying to distract myself. The park isn’t far, but the short drive seems to last forever. Every second is more brutal than the one before.
We roll up to the park, right by the playground. There, sitting on the swings is a little boy with his head hanging down, slowly rocking back and forth.
Mrs. Park shuffles out of the car, rushing toward him. As soon as Jordy sees her, he starts running. He climbs up to the top of the play structure, tucking himself into a corner.
“Should we go over there?” I ask.
Caleb nods, and we both get out of the car.
Mrs. Park is standing at the bottom, head tilted up. “Jordy, please come down. Let’s talk about this.”
“I’m never coming down.”
“Can I come up?” Caleb asks.
“Did you know?”
Caleb gets quiet. “I did.”
“Then, no. Go home, and leave me alone.”
“Let me try something,” I say, wiggling my way in between Caleb and his mom. I put my hands on the rungs and start climbing.
“He won’t talk to you,” Mrs. Park mumbles.
I keep climbing anyway. If I’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s how to cheer up the Park boys.
Once on top of the platform, I crawl toward Jordy and sit next to him.
His head is buried, tucked away in the safety of his arms. “Go away,” he says. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Then don’t talk,” I say. I reach into my bag and pull out my secret weapon. If it works on Caleb, it’s worth trying with Jordy. I hold it out to him. “Want a soda?”
He raises his head just enough to peek over his arms. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch.”
He opens his hand.
I give him the soda can and lean back against the railing. “I want to say sorry for the other night.” He shrugs, opening the soda. “I mean it. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. It was wrong, and I’m sorry. I want to make sure you know that.”
“I froze. I deserved it.”
“No.” My eyebrows furrow. “You didn’t deserve that. We all make mistakes, and my mistake was yelling.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask.
“For saying sorry.” He pauses. “I thought you’d still be mad at me, but I’m glad you’re not. I like you,” he says.
I smile. “I like you too. So, are we still friends?”
He smiles back. “Yes.”
“Feel like telling me why you’re hiding in the playground?”
His face falls again. “We’re moving. Mom didn’t tell me until today, but she’s known for weeks.”
“You don’t want to move?”
He shakes his head. “No. I like it here. I like my house. I like my friends. I like this park. If we move, I won’t have any of those things.”
“Ah.” I click my tongue and nod. “I see. That would be hard.”
“It’s awful.”
“Well, that’s one way to look at it,” I say. “Or you could look at it as an adventure.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s kind of like Star Trek. They fly around in their spaceship discovering new places and people. You don’t have a spaceship, but you’ll discover new things too. It’s an adventure just for you.”
“Like Spock?”
I laugh. “Yes, just like Spock.”
“That doesn’t sound so awful.”
“Just think, you might get to discover a brand-new park over there.”
He looks around at the playground. “That’s true. I’ll miss this one, though.”
“Well, you can play here when you visit me.” I nudge him with my elbow.
“I can come visit?”
“You better come visit,” I say.
“Okay,” he replies, thinking it through. “Will you come visit me over there too?”
I nod.
“I bet my other friends could come visit too.”
“Of course they can, and you can show them all the fun things you’ve discovered.”
“Yeah.” Jordy’s grin grows wider, showing the gap from his missing front teeth.
“It’s getting pretty dark. Do you want to start heading back?”
He sighs. “Just one more minute.”
“Okay.”
“I want to try this,” he says, lifting the soda. He opens it, and as soon as he takes a sip, his nose crinkles.
“What’s wrong?”
His eyes grow big. “It’s tickling my nose.”
I laugh.
He cringes, eyes still big, and leans closer to me. “This won’t make me drunk, will it?”
“No, of course not.”
“Phew,” he says, taking another sip. “I was worried for a second.”
I raise my voice to make sure the eavesdroppers can hear me. “It’s just soda.”
Jordy giggles.
“You don’t have soda very often, do you?” I ask.
“How’d you know?”
“Just a feeling.”
He takes one more sip and then stands. “I’m ready.”
“I’m glad,” I say, standing too.
He takes the slide down.
I follow close behind, but I have to hold tightly on to my dress to keep it from flying up. Never in a million years did I picture myself dressed up like this at a playground. I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Caleb laughs as I come down, and I roll my eyes.
Mrs. Park drops to her knees and wraps Jordy up in a hug. Jordy pulls away and grabs my hand. “Will you come over to our house for a little bit? I have another math question, and we could watch a show after.”
I hesitate. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“I think you guys might be a little busy,” I say, trying to avoid stating the obvious.
Mrs. Park clears her throat, standing. “She’s right. It’s not a good time.”
“Yes, it is,” Caleb says, taking my hand in his. I almost pull away out of fear, but he squeezes my hand, locking me in place.
Mrs. Park crosses her arms. “Caleb, I’m just trying to take care of you. I know what’s best.”
“How? How do you know what’s best for me if you never ask me what I want? I’ve spent my whole life trying to make you proud, letting you choose every little decision in my life, and I’ve never questioned you. Until now.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really? Because you’ve decided everything, from my extracurriculars throughout school to which college you want me to go to. And now you want to control my relationships too?”
She swallows, shaking her head. “I want you to have the best possible life you can. I don’t want you to ever have to worry about where your next paycheck is coming from. I want to give you every opportunity. This is how I show my love.”
“This is how you’ll lose your son.”
My heart drops. I tug on his arm.
Her eyes start to water. They’re filled with rage, and it’s aimed toward me. “You never talked to me like this before her.”
Jordy’s eyes grow big, watching everything unfold, but he doesn’t add to the conversation.
Caleb straightens. “You’re right. That’s because she sees me.
She makes me feel like the things I want are important—that I matter.
If you really did care about me like you say, you’d try to understand me instead of just pushing me to do what you want.
And if you think forcing her away is going to magically change my mind, you’re wrong. ”
“If you could just try to understand my view—”
“I know your view. You blame Becca for every time I’ve ever been in trouble, and you think she’s the reason I don’t want to go to college.
That’s not true. I was the one getting Becca in trouble.
I’m the one who doesn’t want to go to college.
They’re my choices, then and now. I think you should try and see my view because Becca is supportive and kind.
She cares about our family. She’s gone out of her way, more than once, to be there for us.
Jordy loves her, don’t you?” He turns to his brother.
Jordy nods. “She helps me with math.”
“She’s the whole reason he came down just now. Do you think she would do that if she didn’t care about us?”
Mrs. Park’s eyes falter.
Caleb continues, “She told me what you planned to do if we stayed together. It’s messed up, Eomma.
If you really care about me, you wouldn’t punish her like that.
What her dad did is not her fault. You’ve spent years trying not to let us be defined by what Appa did, so why would you define Becca by what her dad did?
It’s hypocritical. Doing these kinds of things will only push me away. ”
She’s quiet for a moment, digesting every word he said. “Do you really think I don’t listen to you? That I don’t see you?”
“If you did, you wouldn’t be doing this,” he says simply. “You wouldn’t be trying to force your decisions on me.”
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“You’re the one hurting me. Can’t you see that?”
I want to hide. Even though I haven’t said anything, I feel like I’m on display. Unfortunately, my dress poofs out too much to hide behind Caleb’s suit.
Caleb turns to leave, tugging on my hand to follow.
“Wait,” Mrs. Park says.
Caleb pauses.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice is small, as if the words don’t want to come out.
Caleb faces her again. “Is that it?”
“You really don’t want to go to Stanford?”
“I don’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks.
Caleb sighs. “I’ve tried, but you don’t listen. The college I go to should be my decision. The relationships I have . . .” He squeezes my hand and nods firmly. “Should be my decision. I’m almost an adult, and I need you to trust me. I want you to believe in me and what I want to do.”
Her gaze falls on him. She’s seeing him in a new light for the first time. “What do you want to do?”
He takes in a shaky breath, then meets her eyes with confidence. “I want to pursue my music.”
“What if that doesn’t work out? Shouldn’t you have a plan B?”
“I want to take a gap year to pursue it. If it goes nowhere, then I’ll go to college, but I don’t want to go to a college far away. I want to stay here so I can still spend time with the band.”
“One year?” she asks.
Caleb nods.
“And you promise you’ll go back to school if the music doesn’t work out?”
He nods again. “I think it’s reasonable. Lots of people take gap years.”
“You’re one hundred percent sure this is what you really want?”
“Yes, I’m positive. I know it’s a long shot, but I don’t want to look back at my life later and regret not trying.”
She tilts her head. “Okay. One year.” Then, she looks at me. “Do you think he can do it?”
“He’s your son. He can do anything he sets his mind to,” I say. “Where do you think he learned that from?”
She shifts back and takes me in. “What do you mean?”
“He learned that from you. You don’t settle. You work hard and go after what you want. He’s the same way, so if he says he’s going to pursue music, then I believe he’s going to succeed. Especially if you support him.”
She wipes the corner of her eye. “When did the two of you grow up so much?” She takes in a breath. “This is a lot to think about, but I’m going to try to wrap my head around it. Please give me time.”
Caleb’s shoulders relax. “I’m going to make you proud.”
She smiles. “You already do.” Then, she focuses on me again. “I can see how much you care about him, and I’m sorry I didn’t see it before.”
Jordy tugs on her sleeve. “Does that mean you like her now?”
I bite my lip to hide my smile.
“It means she can come over to help you with your homework. But . . .” She holds up a finger. “But don’t you dare make either of my boys cry.”
Jordy jumps up and gives me a side hug. “That means you don’t have to hide in the pantry anymore.”
Caleb and my eyes widen in unison.
Mrs. Park shakes her head. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” she says, turning to walk back to the car.
Caleb wraps his arm around my shoulders. He smiles at me. I smile back. As we head back to the car, following his mom, he kisses my forehead.
“Gross,” Jordy says.
“Hey, you better run,” Caleb tells Jordy. “I’m gonna getcha.”
Jordy squeals, taking off. Caleb runs after him.
I laugh, soaking in the moment in front of me. “Wait for me,” I say, running too.