Chapter 35
35
It’s Sunday lunch time. I sit in the Canterbury Tales. The landlord I met at the Chapter Battle recognises me and jokes about why a woman of my class would waste her time with a scoundrel like Casey. I take out my phone and look at Vintage Views. The latest review is one by Nora about a gay romance. Pauline’s before that focuses on a top ten thriller. They are gaining followers, some influential, and by the looks of it, quickly learning how to best use hashtags.
Gay romance. See, your friends aren’t outdated or old .
I ignore the voice in my head that dares to disagree with Bella and I sip my sparkling water. Casey texted and suggested meeting for lunch. He’s the kind of person who appreciates transparency, so I’m going to ask him outright about Beatrix’s underwear. I start to read Nora’s review when the table rocks. Casey steadies the scratched surface and puts down his pint.
‘Sorry I’m a bit late. I overslept,’ he explains and sits down.
Was he with Beatrix again?
‘Vi?’
‘What? Oh, no problem. I haven’t been here long.’
‘Everything okay? Why did you rush off yesterday despite my irresistible offer of pancakes and cherries?’ His hand covers mine. ‘After fainting like that, I was worried when you didn’t reply to my texts until late last night.’
‘Sorry. I was still recovering. It must have been the heat and too much drink.’ Keeping my tone light, I raise my glass. ‘I’m still rehydrating.’
Casey studies my face. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. Look, let’s order and?—’
He puts the menu on the table next to ours. ‘I’m serious. Friday night… it was…’ He shook his head. ‘There’s no other words. Vi, it was fucking fantastic. I can’t get it out of my mind.’
I almost cry. Lenny shredded our love story and left it in bits. Yet here I am now, feeling like this, part of something new that feels as if it could really be worth something.
But I can’t let my emotions interfere with the plan that’s almost fully executed.
‘It was a difficult day. I fell out with my neighbour.’
‘How so?’
‘Oh, this and that…’
Casey takes a mouthful from his pint. He knows I’m holding back. I can’t bear to see him hurt.
‘She doesn’t approve of my flatmate, Bella.’
‘Why?’
‘Since she’s moved in, I’ve overhauled my lifestyle.’
‘In what way?’
‘I got fit. Bought a new wardrobe. Just had a refresh, but Kath doesn’t like change. She misunderstands things that she thinks she knows about Bella. It’s complicated. She even called her a parasite.’
A shiver runs down my spine as I recall how angry Bella was this morning when she came home and I let slip that Kath had been in her room. It all came tumbling out of my mouth – what Kath had discovered in there. How she didn’t approve of my new flatmate. Bella had never shouted before.
‘Don’t you ever forget what a pathetic creature you were before being friends with me.’ Bella’s chest heaved and her ponytail cut through the air violently. ‘Don’t you remember? You let Lenny walk all over your self-esteem. What happened was no surprise. You were hardly competition for someone like Beatrix.’
I curled myself into a ball on the sofa. ‘Bella. Please,’ I said in a small voice. ‘I’m sorry. I hate to see you upset. I stuck up for you. You’ve got to believe me.’
She pursed her lips. ‘I’ve made you what you are today. And how do you repay me? By talking about me to other people?’
‘It wasn’t like that.’ My voice wavered. ‘You must know how much I respect you.’
Finally her frown disappeared. She sat down next to me. We’d hugged and once more my world felt all right.
Bella was right to remind me that before meeting her, I was a nobody.
‘What did you used to look like?’ Casey pushes his pint away and leans forwards.
I give a nervous laugh. ‘Let’s just say not quite as on trend.’
‘Does that matter?’
‘Clearly you follow fashions, so you don’t need to ask me.’
He looks genuinely puzzled and gazes down at his Hawaiian T-shirt, which somehow looks cool with his leather jacket. ‘No I don’t. I just buy what I like.’
‘Then you must be blessed with an innate sense of style. Anyway, enough about Kath. Have you thought about Felicity’s invite?’
‘Yes, and I’d love to. Anubis is supposed to be an eye-popping venue. But until I’ve signed a deal, I don’t think it’s appropriate. It sends out the wrong message to the other publishers. I’ll email Felicity on Monday.’ He reaches for the menu and passes it to me. ‘I don’t need to look. Roast with all the trimmings for me.’
Keep your head . I look at my watch in the way men have sometimes done while talking to me in the past.
‘Somewhere else to be?’ he says and smiles.
That’s why I like Casey. Straight to the point. He deserves the same in return.
‘I could ask you the same. What happened with Beatrix the other night?’ I tell him that I almost bumped into her after leaving. I mention the underwear. Make up a story about how I’d seen her once shopping in Victoria’s Secret.
‘You believe I’ve slept with her?’
‘I’m just protecting my feelings. You can understand that.’
‘You’ve been hurt in the past?’
‘Haven’t we all?’
‘Nothing happened, Vi. Oh, she tried it on.’ He covers his face with one hand and shakes his head.
‘What?’
‘I’m a gentleman. I shouldn’t really say.’
I don’t reply and finish my drink, acting as if I’m about to get to my feet.
‘We’re not teenagers, Casey. I’m not interested in playing games.’
He removes his fingers. ‘Look, okay. She asked to use the bathroom and when she came out had stripped to her underwear. It was like something out of a B movie. She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. I didn’t know where to look. I told her to stop but she slipped out of those pants and threw them behind her. For once I was speechless.’
Me too.
‘Don’t get me wrong. I find lots to admire in naked women. But it was downright sleazy. Ambition can take people to strange places. I was good friends with a local hairdresser once. Or so I thought. He’d pop into the salon for a chat. Over time I worked out he had been trying to poach my customers. My feelings had been worth nothing. His goals had made him blinkered.’
I grimace.
‘And as people, Beatrix and I have nothing in common. When she first arrived she made a point of saying that my lounge was only slightly bigger than her shoe closet and a deal with Alpaca would mean I could buy a proper place to live. Beatrix is all about labels and one-upmanship, which couldn’t be further from where I’m at.’ He kisses my fingers. ‘It’s the emotional connection that interests me.’
I don’t doubt that after reading Alien Hearts .
‘Why did her pants end up in the dirty linen bin?’
‘She left them behind and I didn’t know what to do with them.’ He pulls a face. ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’
They didn’t sleep together. Mostly, it’s a relief for my heart, but also for my head.
Casey is curious about my flatmate. I tell him about her spa job and her exercise and juicing tips. Briefly we fight over the bill. I win so he insists on taking me to the cinema during the week.
I hesitate because I can tell he is keen. It’s hard, trying to manipulate. It’s not something I’m used to – partly because I’ve never had the necessary tools before.
I stand up. ‘Lunch has been great. Thanks for the cinema invite, but I’ll have to say no. I’ve got a full-on week ahead at the office with preparations for next Saturday. I’ve got goody bags to fill and Irfan and I are working on a presentation. In fact, that reminds me to check the projector. I also need to check in with the interns who are decorating the room side by side with the hotel. Most nights I’m going to have to work late.’
We head outside.
‘When will I see you again?’
Tonight. Please. Us, skin to skin .
‘Perhaps next week. I’ll be too tired Sunday after the celebrations. It’s going to be champagne on tap and a jazz band has been hired. We’ll be dancing until midnight.’ I reach up to kiss him on the cheek but Casey turns and my eyes close as our mouths meet. Despite all my resolutions, it’s impossible to resist.
Eventually his lips brush my neck. Sultry air warms my ear as he speaks in a husky voice.
‘Then I guess the only way I’m going to see enough of you is to come to this party – as your very own personal guest. I guess it can’t harm. No promises on the book front, though…’
A heady sense of power infuses me.
Holding hands, we hurry back to his flat.
Bella says I don’t need anyone.
But it’s lonely trying to be perfect.