Chapter 19
Rurik
I was supposed to go shower about an hour ago. But then she had to be a little smartass, looking like a beautiful goddamn siren while lying down on her side, all naked and shit with her hair wild and crazy.
So, really, this is all her fault.
“Mmm. Keep going like that,” Briar groans as she presses our foreheads together. She wraps her arms around my shoulders while my fingers on her hips dig her skin. “Don’t stop, Rurik. I’m so close.”
I‘m sitting up with my back against the headboard, and she’s sitting on my cock while I continue to move my hips and fuck her in nice long strokes.
Fuck, I love the way she sucks on my neck. She has this weird obsession with my Adam’s apple, but I’m not complaining now. Every time she kisses and licks it, my dick just thickens and pulses inside her.
“I knew you would feel amazing,” Briar sighs, kissing my jaw.
The soft gasps she makes whenever I drive deeper are like music to my ears. I cup her cheek and kiss her, fucking her mouth with my tongue as my groan spills out roughly.
“Shit, Briar…I’m going to come,” I warn her, placing a hand between us to play with her clit.
She continues to ride my dick, chasing the pleasure that’s just right around the corner. I apply a little bit more pressure on her clit, and I’m rewarded with a beautiful, “Mmmm, fuuuck!”
Her pussy clenches tightly around my dick as she comes, and just like I warned her, I came immediately after.
After we both came down from our release, none of us made a move to entangle from one another. She pulls away slightly to look at me, a peaceful look on her face with her lips swollen, cheeks flushed, and eyes bright and clear. She grins and bends down to kiss the tip of my nose when I stare back at her like an idiot.
Something weird clenches on my chest, but it is not painful enough to cause me to worry about my health. I clear my throat, letting go of her waist.
“Oof,” Briar winces as cum drips off her when she sits up. She quickly leaves the room, and I hear the shower running seconds later, “Be right back!” She calls out.
I sigh, scooting forward to lie down on my back to stare at her ceiling as I listen for Briar.
Fuck, what am I still doing here? I should just get up, put my clothes on, and leave. We fucked twice already, I can just leave. What else is there for me to do here?
The bed dips, making my head turn to see a still-naked Briar grinning sheepishly at me as she crawls to lay beside me.
“Hi,” She giggles.
Fuck.
My fucking dick twitches again as if he’s trying to stand up to snuggle back inside her lovely, warm pussy.
Chill, asshole.
I clear my throat, “Hi.”
“You’re not running away,” Briar grins, “I’m impressed. I kind of expected you to sneak off while I washed off.”
“I almost did,” I glare at her. “Now I kind of wish I did.”
She pouts, “No.” She shifts closer and leans her head against my shoulder. I breathe in her scent and sigh, my arm having a mind of its own as it wraps around her. “Please stay.”
I suppress the lump in my throat as that peculiar tightening sensation grips my chest once more. What the fuck was that?
Not wanting to think about it some more, I place a finger under her chin to lift her lips to mine. Our kisses are lazy, slow, and… Fuck, yes, they’re sweet. I can’t believe just hours ago, we were arguing.
Okay, I was doing most of the arguing.
Yelling.
I don’t know what came over me. When I saw her getting all cute and close with that prick Jamie — fucking loser — my vision turned red. I tried to get her attention throughout the wedding, but she had the nerve to ignore me. I thought I should have felt relieved that she finally moved on. But when I saw them dancing, and he touched her… I had to leave. As soon as I finished painting the wedding and an extra canvas, I left.
I meant to go home. But then I found myself standing outside Briar”s apartment, lurking and waiting like some stalker freak. Then, when I witnessed her kissing his cheek, a raging fury ignited within me, fueling an inexplicable desire to punch his smug face.
Now, here I am. On her bed, after we had sex twice.
Fuck.
A hand touches my jaw. I turn my head to see Briar watching me, her hair spread all over the pillow.
“What are you thinking of?” She asks, tracing her fingers down my throat.
I swallow hard, and her lips curve into a smile.
“Nothing,” I murmur, staring at her. My gaze trails to her breasts, and I want to bite her nipples. But I won’t because I can control myself.
Sometimes.
Her curves are fucking breathtaking, too. If I could, I want to lick every inch of her delectable curves, feel every nook and cranny, touch —
I frown.
What the fuck? Since when did she have a small bandage on her stomach? She has the same one on her shoulder, too. I reach forward and gently touch it, hearing her gasp.
I immediately look at her and ask, “Did you get this from work, too?”
Briar smiles widely. Too widely. “Yup!”
My eyes narrow. “And by work, you mean... what I’ve witnessed you and Nat do during the masquerade?”
Briar rolls her eyes, “Yes, Mr-I-Am-A-Good-Person-I-Dont-Go-Around-Killing-People.”
My lips twitch at her sass. “I don’t go around killing people. Also, you really need to be more careful, Briar. You’re not invincible.”
“Aww,” She coos, squeezing my cheek. I bite her finger. “You’re so sweet for worrying about me, angel.”
“I’m not worried,” I lie, glaring at her. I pull my arm away from her and sit up. “I should shower. It’s nearly 4 in the fucking morning.”
“Shower, and then come to bed.”
“No,” I say sharply, gathering my clothes to take them to the bathroom.
I can’t get too comfortable around her. She’s still this crazy, dangerous, insane woman. Just because she’s beautiful doesn’t mean anything.
I hear the mattress shift and turn around to see Briar getting up to stretch. Her tits are just out there, staring at me and tempting me.
“Can you put some clothes on?” I sigh, shaking my head.
“My house. If I want to walk around naked, I will.” She snarks like a fucking brat.
I roll my eyes, shutting and locking the door behind me. As I wash the sweat from my body, I can’t help but keep wondering if what we did was a good idea.
I just lost my virginity to a murderer.
What the fuck was I thinking?
My stepdad is going to lose his shit if he finds out how involved I am with her. What was I thinking, going after Briar after the wedding? I don’t even know how much longer I have with my damn heart. I should focus on my health and avoid anything that may disrupt it.
Like Briar.
I need to end this before one of us gets in too deep and gets hurt.
After showering and changing, I open the door to see Briar lying in bed, wearing an oversized shirt and reading a book.
“Who’s shirt is that?” I ask out of nowhere.
What the fuck is wrong with you, dick? Who gives a shit who’s shirt she’s wearing when—
“An ex from high school,” Briar says distractedly, turning a page from the book she’s holding.
The fuck?
“Why,” I ask slowly as I stride toward her. She looks up, her brows wrinkling with confusion. “The hell are you wearing an ex’s shirt, Briar?”
She blinks, “Because it’s comfortable? He left it in my possession a while ago, and I just use it as pajamas—Hey! What are you… Rurik!”
I don”t think of what I”m doing as I lift her arm to pull the shirt off of her. Ignoring her protests, I gather the shirt into a giant ball and tuck it under my arm to burn it later. I look around the room and find her dresser. There, I see another oversized shirt and raise a brow at it.
“Jesus. That’s mine,” Briar sighs, grabbing it from my hands. She hastily puts it on and smirks at me. “I bought it. Are you happy now, angel?”
“Ecstatic,” I snap back, turning around and exiting her room.
“Love it when you’re jealous,” She says, stopping me.
I can feel my cheeks puffing up from annoyance. I glare at her behind my shoulder. “Shut up, Briar. I’m not jealous.”
I intend to make a grand exit by leaving her place without a proper goodbye, but I freeze when I see five familiar canvases.
These canvases…
They’re mine.
I automatically walk toward the closest painting. It’s one of the first I did while relaxing in the park.
It’s just a painting of a white flower.
It came to me randomly in a dream, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it until I painted it. Oscar loved it when he saw me working on it.
And now it’s here in Briar’s apartment. It’s hung above her couch, making it the focal point on the wall. I glance around and find others displayed in the living room. At least one of my paintings is on each side of her apartment. A second painting of mine is above the TV. Another is down the hallway, and…
My little slice of paradise painting.
It’s here.
“Oh,” Briar’s soft voice says. “I thought you left.”
I realize I’ve wandered back to her bedroom. I nod at the canvas behind her.
“You weren’t lying when you said you bought them,” I say.
She grins. “I told you.” She follows my gaze to the painting hung above the headboard. “I was wondering when you would notice that.”
Seeing as I was balls deep inside her the past few hours, I wouldn’t have noticed if she decided to pull a knife on me, either.
What the…
You literal fucking dick. Calm down, dickhead.
I clear my throat and fold my hands in front of me to hide my growing erection.
“Listen. Briar,” I say. “We can both agree that what happened earlier was a mistake. An accident.”
The small smile that was on her face immediately drops. She slowly bookmarks a page she is on, sets the book aside, and climbs off the bed.
“Oh?” She asks lightly, walking up to me. “I agree.”
I froze. “Y-you do?”
“Yeah,” She nods, reaching forward to brush the hairs away from my forehead. “I hate it whenever I accidentally spread my legs open for you, and your dick slips inside me. By accident. Twice.”
“That’s not what I meant, Briar. I’m just having second thoughts about us doing this because—”
“Rurik,” She interrupts me with a sharp tone.
I press my lips tightly together, emotions spreading through me like anger and… Shame? What the hell do I have to be ashamed of? I don’t feel bad that I was the cause of her smile disappearing. I can’t.
“As much as that deep, sexy sound of your voice makes my insides tingle with joy,” Briar continues, trailing her fingers across my throat. “I want you to shut up before you say something stupid.”
I swallow hard, and her eyes flash with something I couldn’t name.
“Like what?” I ask.
“Something that’ll make you run away.”
I scoff. “I’m not running away.”
“So you weren’t going to say shit like,” She puts on a dramatic deep voice. “‘Oh, Briar. The sex was mind-blowing.’” Her fingers trail down to my chest. “‘It was amazing, but we can’t do that again. Even though I begged for you to fuck me, and I gushed out like a fountain—’”
“Why must you talk like that?” I groan, turning away and leaving her room.
She catches up next to me, grinning so smugly that I want to kiss it off her. “Because it’s the truth.”
“I did not beg. But I still don’t think it’s a good idea for us to do this,” I continue, shaking my head. “I just can’t, in good conscience, be okay hanging out with someone who kills for sport.”
“Why not?”
I stop, whirling around to ask, “Are you serious?”
“About you? Of course.”
“Fuck off,” I scoff. I’m feeling irritated that she can joke about something like this. “You’re not even going to deny it? You go on a criminal rampage and shit?”
Her eyes narrow as she crosses her arms. “What I do or don’t do for work was not part of your stupid rules, angel.”
“Work,” I spit out the word as if it tastes like shit. Because that’s what it is. Bullshit.
“You’re being awfully hypocritical, angel.” Briar pokes my chest hard. “You’re giving me shit? Just me? If only you knew how fucking close you are with more dangerous people—” She stops as if she didn’t mean to let herself go on a tangent.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, taking a step closer to her. “If you’re talking about Natalie and Oscar, I don’t know what they do. But I’m starting to get an idea.”
“Are you going to start labeling them as villains too?” Briar questions. “Are you going to approach everyone who labels their job as brave and heroic even though they also kill people? Don’t make me start naming these so-called heroic jobs…”
“Are you seriously comparing yourself to those people and what they do?”
“Of course not,” She scoffs like I’m the ignorant one. “I’m not corrupted enough like some of them.”
I stare at her.
She stares back.
“So,” Briar slowly says a few seconds later. A small grin spread across her beautiful features again. “You didn’t enjoy me riding that dick of yours?”
I scowl, refusing to answer her stupid question.
“I’m leaving, it’s really late.” I turn around again to walk out.
“Or you could stay?” She says, stopping me with a hand on my wrist.
“Briar.”
“I could sleep on the couch if you want,” She suggests.
“No.”
“Please?”
“Briar.” I pull my hand away from her grip. Then, remind her, “Boundaries.”
She looks at me for a few seconds before sighing and saying quietly, “Yeah.”
I hesitate, not liking the look of defeat on her face. She’s looking up at me, her eyes wide and her bottom lip jutting out with an adorable pout.
Fuck. Me.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I just want to reach over and smother her with kisses so she can smile at me like an idiot again. She loves it when I kiss her. I see it every time her eyes light up when I initiate a kiss between us. I hate admitting it to myself, but it feels good knowing I”m the one who put that smile on her face.
My stepdad always warned me that she was dangerous, and I witnessed the truth in that accusation... But fuck.
How can she be dangerous when she makes my body light up with her being near? How can she be dangerous when she”s the only one who makes my heart beat abnormally fast, yet I feel alive now more than ever?
Shit... She is dangerous.
I should at least give her a good-night kiss, right? That’s not bad, right?
You guys are not a couple. This is just physical. No relationships.
Be chill, asshole. Be firm.
Fuck. Okay, yeah. I have to gain back some sort of control again after she obliterated every control I thought I had when it came to her.
“Why are you looking at me as if feeling constipated?”
I sputter.
Briar grins, “I thought you were leaving now.”
I glare at her. “I am.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“So... The door is literally behind you, Rurik. Unless you prefer to have accidentally stumble between my legs again for round 3?”
I was out the door within seconds, slamming it shut with her laughter echoing in my ears.
*-*-*-*
The next day—or later that day, depending on how one sees it—despite having little sleep, I have this burst of energy, and I just need to paint something.
I”m standing in the park, staring at a blank canvas.
What do I feel like making today? I just have this surge of energy coursing through me, and I feel it”ll look incredible in paint.
I grab a clean paintbrush and dip it into the yellow paint; that color is calling to me for some reason. I inhale deeply and go for it, my strokes hesitant at first.
Fuck, what am I painting? Why yellow?
Fuck it, I shouldn”t be questioning myself, I should just keep going.
As if my little pep talk to myself is helpful, the energy within me transfers to my hand, and my strokes become more confident.
More sure.
While others are comfortable talking to a random stranger about their problems to calm their thoughts, painting is my therapy. I”ve never been comfortable talking to people about my little issues. But I noticed that if I didn’t find anything to use as an outlet for those issues, I tend to get…violent.
No, I don’t kill people like someone I know.
Which, by the way, still fucks with my head.
But I found painting to help calm me down. I randomly choose each color, and with each brushstroke, I feel a release and calm the storm of emotions inside me.
After what feels like hours, my arm starts to ache. Which is fine because I”m starting to feel drained. I put the paintbrush down and stare at what I”ve created.
Holy shit.
Damn.
It’s chaotic as fuck. Bold strokes of red, green, and blue paint sweep across the canvas, accompanied by random bursts of yellow and white. There are hints of black pigment lurking in the shadows of each corner, adding depth to the colorful chaos. But the color that stands out the most is that yellow.
I frown. Why do I feel like I’ve done something like this before? My eyes widen, staring at the canvas until it finally hit me.
Fuck… I have done something like this before. Probably with the same colors. Especially that fucking yellow.
Wait.
Aw, no.
Fuck no.
Come on! I used yellow because it reminded me of—
My phone vibrates, interrupting my thoughts. I clean my hand with a paper towel and look at the text notification.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-I have a question.
-Hello, by the way ;p xxx
Okay, I know I have a bad heart, to begin with, but why the fuck does it feel like someone just injected a shot of adrenaline into my chest and now it’s beating like crazy?
My doctor is not going to be happy.
ME:
-What do you want?
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Did you miss me?
ME:
-Why do you keep asking me that question?
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Why can’t you just answer it?? Is it because you do?
-You miss me. Admit it!
ME:
-I’m busy. Leave me alone.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-It’s okay to admit you miss me, angel ;)
-Because I miss you and that big dick of yours.
ME:
-What the fuck, Briar?
-Shut up, or I will mute you.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-WAIT! I just want to know. Was it everything you thought of?? Serious question.
I hesitate. Was it?
Yes. But better.
Fuck yes.
God, sex with her was incredible. When she pouted before I left last night, I was tempted to stay for rounds 3, 4, 5, whatever, just until my dick would fall off.
But I couldn’t.
I know I can do it with anyone now, but… I can’t. I just can’t picture myself doing it with any random woman.
My phone buzzes with another text notification.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-If you’re thinking of fucking someone else to compare me to, I highly discourage that.
-Not because I will find the person, and cut their head off and shrink it, but because no one compares to me ;P
ME:
-Wow. You’re pretty full of yourself, aren’t you?
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-I would rather be full of you.
Jesus. This woman is going to kill me. I roll my eyes, stuffing my phone back into my back pocket so I could ignore her. But as I reach to take down my finished canvas to replace a new one, my phone buzzes again.
I’m going to ignore it.
Another buzz.
Fucking ignoring it…
Another buzz.
For fucks sake! I groan, pulling my phone out to read the texts.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-I loved watching your face as you came inside me. Did you enjoy watching your cock pound inside me over and over?
-Seriously. I’ve never come so hard in my life.
-I’ve never come during sex until you! You’ve got that magical big dick energy ;p
ME:
-Briar. Stop texting me such disgusting texts while I’m out in public.
-Also, you’re a liar.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-Why? Are you afraid you’ll get turned on?
-Also, I’m not lying! I swear on my life.
-Remember when you blacked out for a second after you came so hard? Did I pleasure you that well?? ;P
-Want to come over tonight?
ME:
-No. Stop texting me.
-Also, I did not blacked out.
CRAZY MIGRAINE:
-But there’s so much more I want to try with you!
-Also, you so fucking blacked out. Your heart was beating so fast, I could have sworn I felt it leaping out of your chest.
-How do you feel about blindfolds?
-Chains? Handcuffs? 69? Chokeplay?
-What about giving me a facial?
Fuck.
I’m so fucking hard right now. This is really inconvenient while I’m out in public, and all I want to do is paint, damn it!
I’m muting her for an hour to focus on my work.
I let out a heavy sigh, putting my phone down and picking up a clean paintbrush to start painting the tree I see in front of me.
What does she mean by blindfold? Who will be wearing it? Certainly not me.
Chains? For what?
Handcuffs? Again, not for me.
Facials? What the fuck?
69? Wait, isn’t that the position where we’re—
Fuck. I need to focus!
I clear my throat and try to get back to work, ignoring the way my heart keeps thudding painfully against my chest.