Chapter 9
TALLY
“Can we all fit in another rehearsal later this week?” I rest my heel on the barre and bend until my cheek meets my knee while scrolling my calendar. Just call me the multitasking queen.
“My schedule is open, apart from Wednesday,” Charles says.
“Same, but Thursday is my heavy day,” Arya offers.
“What about Saturday?” Exams are on the horizon, and we have an in-class group performance piece that’s worth twenty percent of our Contemporary Dance mark this semester.
Charles scrolls through the booking calendar on his phone. “Are we okay with a seven a.m. start? I know it’s early, but there’s a two-hour block available, and all the afternoon spots are already taken.”
“I’m an early riser anyway,” I say as I reject yet another call from my mom. I’m in full avoidance mode.
“I can do it,” Arya agrees.
We book several more slots, most at the more reasonable start time of nine a.m. Charles sometimes works the late shift at the campus store.
When we’ve finished booking practice sessions, I drop them at their apartments on the south side of campus—the perks of having my own car and a parking pass—then drive to my building at the north end.
While I drive, I listen to my mom’s most recent voicemail, asking if I’d like to come for dinner, and to please call her back.
I’m still processing, and I’m angry at both of my parents.
Ties is coping by spending all his spare time at robotics, and Fenna is drowning herself in cello.
According to my siblings, Mom has rekindled every single former hobby she’s ever had, and Dad is doing what Dad does best: work.
I can’t deplete what little emotional energy I have with exams around the corner.
Besides, I’m hanging out with my Tilton U crew tonight, so home is a no-go, unless I want to bring a dark cloud with me. That’s exactly what would happen if I went for dinner with the fam.
Instead, I soak in the tub for half an hour while I read Cammie’s fic update.
The chapter is extra spicy, so I end up envisioning my fantasy Flip as the various heroes during my manual stress relief session.
In one scene, the heroine sits in hero one’s lap (dirty Flip), her back to his chest, riding him while he whispers dirty things in her ear.
Her (my) legs are hooked around his, and he spreads her (me) wide while hero two (sweet Flip) kneels between their parted thighs and sucks her (my) clit.
I come twice and am far more relaxed as I pick an outfit. Fee and I step out of our rooms at the same time.
“Did you read the update?” she asks.
“Oh yeah.”
“Same.”
We nod at each other.
“It’s times like these I envy Cammie’s prolific love life.”
“Also same,” I agree.
We pull on coats and tuck our feet into our shoes while Parsnip paws at the door.
“I’ll throw the mouse.” She picks up Parsnip’s favorite toy from the entry table fishbowl.
“And I’ll throw the treats.” I shake the bag, which gets Parsnip’s attention.
He paws at my legs, then rushes down the hall when Fee throws his mouse. I confetti toss treats as she slips into the hall, following behind her. Parsnip yowls his discontent from the other side of the door. He’s a complete menace, and the most adorable problem. I’ll never regret giving him a home.
Cammie and Chase meet us in the lobby, and we file out into the cold December night. We huddle into our coats as we leave campus and head to one of our favorite restaurants for a bite to eat before we go to the hockey house party.
Chase’s teammates Mac, Gage, and Brody are already at the table when we arrive.
“We ordered appetizers,” Gage announces as we join them.
“Lots of them,” Mac adds.
They’re bottomless pits, so this tracks.
The server stops by to take our drink orders. I opt for cola since I plan to study later.
“How you doing?” Brody asks.
My friends know about the situation with my parents, but Brody is the most sensitive of the guys. Probably because his mom bailed on their family when he was four, so he and his brothers were raised by their dad.
“Just keeping my head down so I can get through exams.” Mostly I try not to think about the holidays. Otherwise I’ll end up in a spiral.
“I get it.” Brody nods somberly.
Fee gives me a side hug.
“I’m here if you need someone to cheer you up,” Gage offers.
Mac shoves his shoulder. “Don’t, dude.”
“I mean that in a nonsexual way!” Gage replies defensively.
The table gives him a collective eye roll.
“Seriously, I’m more than just a relentless playboy,” he argues.
I rest my chin on my steepled fingers and bat my lashes. “But are you?”
“Occasionally.” He shrugs.
This is what I need, friends and some good-natured ribbing to take my mind off everything else.
The server drops off our appetizers. They weren’t kidding about ordering a lot of food. Soon the entire table is covered in plates.
Mac turns his megawatt smile on the server. “Thank you, Amanda. I appreciate you.”
Amanda blinks at him and stutters out, “You’re welcome,” while fiddling with her hair.
“We’re ready to order now!” Fee’s voice is unnaturally high.
Amanda snaps out of her Mac attack and takes our orders.
Cammie does a seat shimmy while waving her phone around. “Oh yay! Enid will be in here in a minute.”
Everyone looks at Brody, whose face turns red.
“I need to use the restroom.” He hustles off.
“Is he okay?” Fee asks.
“He’s probably having a mild panic attack, but repeated exposure is good for him.” Mac loads a selection of appetizers onto his plate. “Besides, one of these days he’ll get over himself and ask her out, right?”
“Hopefully,” Gage muses. “The mutual pining is a lot.”
All eyes move to Gage.
“What? It’s true. Those two are the king and queen of Pineville.”
“We just…didn’t realize you recognized feelings beyond the range of lust,” Chase quips.
He nudges Chase. “Move over one so they have to sit beside each other.”
We reorganize ourselves, and thankfully Enid arrives before Brody returns. She orders herself a mojito when the server brings the rest of our drinks.
“How’s everyone doing? Are we decompressing-from-exam-studying-stress, or avoiding-all-the-things?”
Enid is a physiology major and is always studying or working.
“Both?” Cammie asks.
As a creative writing major, almost all her exams are essays, so she’s been hunched over her laptop for the past two weeks, which means her fanfic updates are now on pause until the holidays.
“I have a study date with my tutor tomorrow afternoon,” Gage offers.
“Study date?” I make air quotes.
“Nah, this one is all business, which is better for my grades, but not my ego or my business end.”
“You focus too much on your business end,” Mac says.
Brody returns to the table. Enid’s back is to him, and his eyes are wide as he looks around the table and fires the double bird at us.
Enid glances over her shoulder, and he quickly runs his hands through his hair to hide the gesture. “Hey, Enid.”
“Hi, Brody.”
He apologizes when his arm brushes hers as he takes his seat. “What are we talking about?”
“Gage’s overused business end,” Cammie says.
“Like you’re one to talk.” Gage flings a hand in her direction. “Chase wears a permanent I-got-laid grin.”
Chase frowns. “I don’t have a got-laid face.”
“If it makes you feel better, Cammie also has a got-laid face,” Fee says.
“This is super true,” Cammie admits.
I sigh. “One day I’ll have a got-laid face.”
A couple of guys I’ve seen at parties before stop by the table to say hi. Apparently, they’re also going to this hockey party.
“See you there, virgin.” One of them winks at me as they start to walk away.
“Shut your stupid, fucking mouth, dickbag,” Gage snaps, surprising all of us.
He holds up both hands. “It was a joke!”
“How about we start calling you virgin and see how cute you think it is,” Brody says darkly.
“Sorry, man. Sorry.” He bows out, and he and his friend rush off.
“They’re assholes, just ignore them,” Mac says.
“I’m so tired of being completely untouchable or sexualized by douchebags who just want to say they popped a cherry. Is it too much to want someone to want me for the right reasons?”
Again, I feel bad for the way I approached Flip, because he might say the same thing. In all the years I’ve known him, he’s never had a girlfriend, though, so maybe not.
“I don’t want my first time to be some drunken accident. I want it to be special, and I want to be in love.”
The table goes silent for a beat at Mac’s admission. I guess I’m not the last virgin standing after all. Mac flirts with the world, but none of us has ever seen him kiss anyone, let alone take someone home, or up to his room when he throws a party.
“I love that,” Cammie says. “I’m really glad Chase was my first.”
“And your last.” He kisses her temple.
“Sometimes I wish my first time had been different,” Enid muses.
“Me too,” Brody blurts. His ears turn red, and he looks absolutely gutted.
I don’t know the whole story, but there was a high school party involving Brody and one of Enid’s friends, and he’s forever regretted it.
The server returns with more plates of food, clearing away some of the empties, and the conversation shifts to holiday plans.
It’s like my parents can sense me talking about them, and my phone buzzes with a call from my dad, but I let it go to voicemail.
Toronto has a home game tonight. Part of me wanted to attend, but then I’d have to deal with my dad and see Flip.
I’m taking my cues from Flip, and he’s messaged a few times about book-related stuff this week—he’s reading one of my recommendations.
Things feel closer to normal, but I’m not quite ready to see him in three dimensions yet.
After dinner, we walk over to the hockey party. It’s the same old, same old, people getting drunk and stupid. My Terror guys-and-Babes chat is blowing up with messages now that the game is over. I wait in line for the bathroom as I scroll.
Essie
I have a spreadsheet for New Year’s!
Nate
I helped her with it.
Flip
I seriously doubt that.