Chapter 10
TALLY
“Oh my gosh, this room is incredible! Is this why Connor bought you the lodge?” Hammer runs her fingers along the spines on a bookshelf.
Connor and Dred’s suite has its very own library overlooking the picturesque frozen lake. It’s stunning and romantic and the perfect winter oasis. “Connor can’t help but be excessive and extravagant,” Dred says dryly, smiling.
I catalogue the titles, noting a few I’ve read that Flip might like. “Can I borrow a couple of these?”
“Of course,” Dred replies.
I select two. How much would I love to read by the fire with Flip? Cuddled into his side, or even my feet tucked under his leg. I’m sad the dream will never be a reality, but grateful things seem better between us again.
Connor pokes his head in the room. “I thought I’d find you here.”
“Just showing the girls my favorite room,” Dred murmurs.
“Mine, too,” Connor replies as he crosses over to her.
The temperature in the room goes up by three degrees as their eyes meet.
“We’ll let you settle in.” Hammer grabs my hand. “Let’s unpack.”
We hustle into the hall, and I pull the door closed.
“Did you see the rolling ladder in the corner?” I whisper.
Hammer’s eyes light up. “Oh yeah, those two are going to bone Atonement style, for sure.”
At the sound of her voice, Hollis pokes his head into the hall. “There you are, Princess. Did you know there’s a pool and a hot tub on the main floor?”
Hammer smiles up at him. “We’ll have to check them out later.”
“I’ll see you two in a bit.” I keep walking, Hammer’s giggle floating down the hall after me.
I love being with my friends, but when I’m surrounded by all this love, the loneliness is a lot.
It makes me hopeful and scared. They’re still madly in love now, but what happens when two decades pass and new love fades in the predictability of routine?
Will they endure, or will some of them end up like my parents? How do I know which will be which?
I step into my Nutcracker themed room, shaking off my worries as I check my phone I reluctantly open the one from my mom.
Mom
Please message to let me know you made it to the lodge safely.
I shove down the guilt over my irritation and message back.
Tally
Here safe and sound! Have fun tonight!
I tuck my phone away before she messages back.
The holidays with my family were awkward and uncomfortable.
When I couldn’t actively avoid my parents, I divided my time between coaxing a teary Fenna out of her room to play cello for us and helping Ties build a robot—something I’m decidedly terrible at.
But both things were better than being cornered by my mom and dad so we could talk about how we’re coping.
The whole ordeal was exhausting and emotional, and aside from driving Fenna to cello lessons, taking her to the cat shelter, and attending my brother’s robotics competition a couple of days ago, I’ve been successfully dodging my parents.
But now I’m here with my friends, and I’m hopeful that the awkwardness of Christmas won’t follow me through the weekend.
Along with the Grace twins, Kellan, Quinn, Flip, and I are the uncoupled of the group.
Flip has been messaging me every time he thinks he’s stumbled upon one of my favorite scenes lately, so I have hope. He’s been startlingly accurate, too.
I finish unpacking and head down to the great room. The twins are already there, snacks spread out on the table.
“How much do you love your room?” Everly asks as she pops a peanut butter-filled pretzel into her mouth.
“It’s perfect.” I drop into a plush chair that could easily fit two.
“Yay!” Everly claps. “I helped Connor and Dred assign all the rooms.”
“What’s your room’s theme?”
“I have the Poe room,” Everly replies.
“And I have the Musical Night Sky.” Victor stacks cheese and prosciutto on a cracker.
“We can show you later, if you want,” Everly says.
“I’d love that.” The twins are the same age I was when I interned for the Terror.
And in grade twelve, like Ties. Hemi and Hammer never made a big deal about me being younger and immediately folded me into their group.
I feel understood by them in a way I often don’t with university peers beyond my small circle of friends.
Flip appears in the living room wearing black joggers, a Terror hoodie, and a pair of festive socks. He’s carrying my most recent book suggestion, a bookmark tassel marking his spot. He’s close to the end.
My heart stutters and then gallops as his eyes find mine.
He grins impishly and sings, surprisingly in tune, “Do you want to build a snowman?”
Everly springs off the couch and bounces toward the door. “Yes! Me! Let’s go!”
Victor is right on her heels.
Flip crosses to me and extends a hand, eyes warm and hopeful. “You in?”
My heart aches knowing he’ll never be more than a friend, but I accept the peace offering. “Yeah, I’m in.”
I slip my hand into his, warmth zipping through my veins as he pulls me out of the chair. His fingers are still wrapped around mine. I try to break the sudden tension by twirling away from him.
His smile widens. “I could watch you dance all day.”
“I could watch you watch me dance all day,” I fire back without thinking. Before I can apologize for making things awkward, again, Quinn and Kellan come down the stairs.
“Where my party people at?” Kellan calls.
“All the couples are boning, but the rest of us are heading outside to play with snowballs!” I reply. My whole face is now on fire. Flip coughs to cover his laugh.
I pretend that didn’t come out sounding suggestive. “You two in?”
“Would you believe I’ve never made a snowman?” Kellan says.
“How is that possible?” Everly bounds over and hangs off the newel post. She might have a crush on Kellan.
“I grew up in small town California and played the first few seasons of my career in LA, so the whole six months of winter is new to me,” he explains.
“Well that’s about to change,” Quinn replies.
“This will be so much fun!” Everly claps excitedly and bounces back to Victor.
We don our winter gear and head outside. The snow squeaks under our boots as we trudge through waist-deep drifts. It’s perfect for packing, and the guys quickly roll several massive balls.
“Wait! Don’t stack those!” Everly instructs Quinn and Kellan to roll the balls next to each other.
Victor crosses his arms. “Ev, seriously.”
Flip rolls a ball up next to me. Things feel normal-ish, like we’re back to being friends. It’s a relief, but it also sucks.
He nudges my arm with his. “I bet I know what she’s planning.”
“What’s that?”
“A snow dick.”
I snicker. “Oh yeah, that is totally an Everly move. Think Connor will be pissed at us for helping her?”
“If she didn’t do it, I would have.”
“Fair.”
He pats the ball in front of us. “Give me a hand?”
“Sure.” Our arms brush as we roll it over to the rest of our crew.
I try not to overthink it, but now the weight of the past few weeks hangs between us. Maybe time will smooth things out and make it less confusing.
It takes all four guys to lift our ball on top of the others. The guys roll more snowballs while Everly and I contour the base.
Kellan and Quinn add another ball, and I help Everly up so she can pack snow around it.
“You want a hand up?” Quinn asks.
“I got her.” Flip easily lifts me onto the opposing snowball, making sure I have my balance before he lets go. He bends and gathers snow into a small ball before passing it to me. “It’ll be easier to contour this way.”
“Thanks.” I accept the ball and work on filling in the gaps. Is he being protective? Possessive? I doubt Quinn or Kellan would ever view me as anything but a friend either.
“We need pictures before Connor comes out here and knocks it down,” Everly declares.
“Good call,” Flip agrees.
I pose while Flip snaps a bunch of pictures, and Victor reluctantly does the same for his twin.
Everly cannonballs into the snow and sinks in so deep she needs Victor’s help to get free.
I hop down, but my right foot sinks deeper than my left and I stumble forward.
Flip rushes to steady me, but he steps into the same soft drift.
We both scramble to right ourselves but end up buried in snow.
I’m wedged in, Flip’s body half on top of me, one of his knees between mine.
Of all the scenarios I’ve imagined where Flip ends up on top of me, this was not on the list.
I try to wiggle out from under him, but all it does is press me deeper into the snow. I turn my head, and my nose bumps the edge of his jaw.
“I think we’re stuck!” I don’t know where to put my hands because Flip is everywhere.
“Stop moving, kitten,” he orders.
I go still.
Flip’s hand appears beside my head. When he tries to gain leverage, his arm sinks in all the way to his elbow. Our faces are inches apart. Every part of him is touching every part of me.
I don’t breathe. Don’t move. His lips part, his tongue darts out. I track the movement, breath leaving me on a whimper. Flip’s nostrils flare.
“You need some help over there?” Kellan calls out.
“We’re good,” Flip grinds out.
Are we?
I don’t know what’s happening, but it doesn’t feel platonic.
Flip’s thigh presses against my center and I’m positive I’m a few hip rolls away from a spontaneous orgasm. Which I believed was a gift only Dred possessed.
Flip folds back on his knees, weight lifting off me. I’m not sure whether I’m disappointed or relieved.
He struggles to his feet and extends his hand. “Let’s try that again.”
This time he successfully pulls me out of the drift.
“Wow, that’s some deep snow,” Kellan observes.
“For real.” The imprint of our bodies is embedded in the powder.
“Nice snow dick,” Dallas calls out as he trudges toward us, the rest of the group in tow.
I’m eternally grateful for their arrival.
“Whose idea was this?” Dred points two fingers in opposite directions, one at Everly and one at Flip.
“It was mine!” Everly says proudly.
“I did think about it, though,” Flip admits.
“Very classy.” Hemi snickers.