Chapter 33 #2
“They’re pre-Rix-and-Tristan old,” Brody says, jaw working. “They’re irrelevant.”
“Why do they feel the need to keep bringing up things that happened years ago?” I hold up a hand when Gage opens his mouth to speak. “I know why. Because they have a strange fixation with his love life, and if I wasn’t the coach’s daughter, it wouldn’t be half as exciting.”
“It’s frustrating, but true.” Brody’s tone is all empathy.
“Plus, you’re still in university and he’s thirty,” Gage adds.
Mac kicks his shin.
“I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just stating facts. You’ve got this star hockey player with a prolific history with women that may or may not be blown out of proportion thanks to clickbait, and a university student who is the physical embodiment of wholesome and angelic—”
“This is the whole fucking problem!” I argue. “This isn’t about how much sex he’s had and how much sex I haven’t had, or how much sex he and I are or aren’t having. We’re in a relationship. We have feelings that extend beyond his dick and my vagina!”
“We know that, Tally,” Brody says gently.
“I just mean that this sort of presents as an oil and water situation, where he’s the oil and you’re the holy water,” Gage explains.
“Tally?” Flip’s deep voice comes from behind us.
“Phillip!” I bounce out of my chair.
He crosses the deck and wraps his arms around me. I cling to him, relieved, terrified, and desperate for the closeness and the comfort.
“Are you okay?”
My bottom lip trembles and fresh tears spring to my eyes as the weight of everything crashes down.
Alarm fills his eyes. “Kitten? What happened, baby?” His thumbs sweep my cheeks, brushing the tears away, but more follow.
“I think she’s just a little overwhelmed,” Cammie offers.
“Did anyone hurt you? Are you hurt?” He runs his hands down my arms, his panic my own.
“N-no.” I suck in a breath. “I was just scared.”
“Oh, baby. You need a break from my bullshit.” He presses his lips to my forehead and then my lips.
That makes more tears fall. “I don’t want a break from you,” I whisper.
His expression softens. “That’s not what I meant.” He squeezes me close. “Those videos.” He chokes on the words. “I was fucking terrified, kitten.” He cups the back of my head. “You’ll stay at my place tonight where I can make sure you’re safe.”
“I don’t have an overnight bag.”
“We’ll pick up whatever you need.” His gaze moves behind me. “Thank you for getting Tally here safely.”
I’d forgotten we weren’t alone, that my friends are watching this exchange.
“Of course. We always have Tally’s back,” Brody replies, and Chase murmurs his agreement.
Flip grabs my backpack and slings it over his shoulder while I hug Cammie and say goodbye to the guys.
Flip’s SUV is parked in the driveway. He helps me into the passenger seat and takes his spot behind the wheel. His jaw is tight as he backs out of the driveway.
“Are you okay?” I ask once we’re on the way back to his place. I just want to curl up in his lap and stay there for the rest of eternity.
“No.” He stretches one hand along the back of the seat and finds the nape of my neck. “I’m worried about you. It’s my job to keep you safe and protect you.”
“They didn’t hurt me. They just took me by surprise.”
“They need to leave you alone. You’re still shaking. This is too much emotional strain. I can’t keep my past from surfacing, and I know what people are saying. This is what I was worried about. It was fine when we were flying under the radar, but now…”
More panic hits. What if he thinks I can’t handle the pressure? “It’ll blow over.”
“Dating me shouldn’t come with more negatives than positives,” he argues as he pulls into the underground parking lot.
“You’re not the problem, though. It’s all these people who are absorbed with your love life.”
“Which I used to broadcast for public consumption, and you’re paying the price for it.”
“Please don’t break up with me,” I whisper despondently.
He pulls into his spot and shifts into park. “Hey.” He unbuckles his seat belt and then mine, pulling me into his lap. “That’s not what’s happening.” He brushes my hair away from my face.
“But you might. If I can’t handle it, you might.” My fears spill out.
“I’m worried about you breaking up with me, Talls, not the other way around.” He kisses my forehead and my cheeks. “I just hate that being with me has to come at such an emotional cost. I’m going to fix this, okay? I’ll make it better.”
Once my emotions are under control again, Phillip helps me out of the car and we take the elevator up to his apartment.
I haven’t been here since the night my parents announced they were getting a divorce.
So much has changed since then. I have the one thing I’ve always wanted, but lots of things around me seem to be falling apart.
Flip pushes my hair over my shoulders, eyes searching mine. “What can I do for you, kitten? What do you need?”
I could ask him for anything, and I’m pretty sure he would give it to me.
But I don’t want the first time we have sex to be about him feeling guilty and me wanting an escape from the stress.
I want to do something normal with him. Domestic.
Comforting for both of us. “Can we make mac and cheese and cuddle on the couch?”
“Absolutely.” He kisses me softly. “You want to get comfy?”
I finger the buttons on his shirt. “Can we make it together?”
“Rix actually sent over her leveled-up mac and cheese.” He waggles his eyebrows. “I can put it in the oven, and we’ll get down to cuddling right away while we wait for it to heat up.”
“That sounds perfect.”
I pour us glasses of Tang while Flip puts the food in the oven. Then he guides me to the couch, and I curl up in his lap. It’s exactly what we both need—closeness, connection, and some distance from the stress of everything else. When it’s just the two of us, I can believe it will all be okay.
Eventually, the timer goes off, and together we plate dinner. Turns out “leveled up” means homemade white cheddar mac and cheese with peas, tarragon, and baked chicken breasts. We load our bowls and take it back to the couch.
“This is so good,” I note a few minutes later as I pop another piece of tender chicken into my mouth. “Rix is a food magician.”
“She is excellent at putting together balanced, healthy meals that taste amazing,” he agrees.
I spear a spiral noodle. “I’m so glad she went back to school and pursued her dream.”
“I should have realized she needed more support.”
“You helped her. She lived with you.”
“I could’ve done more, though. I was too busy battling my own demons to see outside myself.” His jaw ticks.
I run my nails gently down the back of his neck. “Do you want to talk about that?”
He looks over. “Not tonight. I’d rather focus on you, if that’s okay.”
Sometimes I wonder if focusing on me is a default. But we’ve had enough stress today, I don’t want to add more by poking at his wounds.
The adrenaline gradually seeps out of my body, leaving me exhausted.
I have assignments that need my attention, but I’m too tired to manage them.
My eyes keep drooping, and eventually I must fall asleep, because the next time I open them, I’m tucked against Flip in his bed, his arm curved around my waist.
I wish it could always be this easy.
I pray the world won’t always feel like it owns a piece of him.