Chapter 56
TALLY
“How does it feel to be ninety-five percent done?” Mom asks as the server drops off our drinks.
“Amazing and a little scary.” I sip my Shirley Temple. I would love a margarita, but I still have my showcase, and our final dress rehearsal is this afternoon, so the celebratory drink will have to wait another twenty-four hours.
“Big changes are coming, huh?” She smiles empathetically.
“Yeah. I’m excited, but I’m nervous about the unknowns.”
“You’ve had a lot of those this year.” She pokes at the ice in her club soda with her straw.
“Our whole family has,” I agree. “But I see how this is better for you and Dad.” I don’t know if I’m ready for them to start dating other people, but it’s not my choice, either. I just want them to be happy, however that looks.
“How are you and Phillip?” Concern laces her tone.
“Still on a pause.” Their last away game is tonight. “But that will change when he’s home.”
“He’s serious about you.”
“I’m serious about him, too.”
“Serious enough to consider moving in with him?” she presses.
I blow out a breath. “I mean…eventually I think that’s a possibility.
” Probability even. I summon my courage.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’ll live after graduation.
” I have my apartment until the end of April.
Even if Phillip and I were in the best possible place relationship-wise, we’ve only been dating for a handful of months.
I don’t want to move too fast. I want sleepovers and time to enjoy dating without the pressure of cohabitating and learning each other’s quirks and habits.
“Do you want to live with your dad?” Mom asks.
“It’s not because I don’t want to live with you,” I say quickly. “I’m not angry or upset with you over the divorce. I feel like you and I are in a good place, and like our relationship is healthier now.”
“We needed a reset and university helped with that,” Mom says softly.
“We did, and it did. I like this a lot better, where you’re still my mom, but we can be friends, too.” A piece of me worries that if I moved back in with my mom and my sister, we would fall into old habits.
“I feel the same way, honey.”
“Dad and I need time to work on things. I know he’s not perfect, but he and I need the most healing, and living with him could help,” I explain.
She smiles, and it isn’t sad or disappointed, it’s full of pride. “I think that’s a good idea, sweetheart, and your dad will be ecstatic. Have you told him yet?”
“I wanted to talk to you first.”
She reaches across the table, and I slip my hand into hers. “You’ve had so much on your plate, and you’re over here worrying about how I’ll feel.”
“That’s the thing, Mom. I wasn’t worried.
I knew you would be supportive and that you would see exactly why I was making the choice.
” It won’t be long-term. Eventually I’ll move in with Phillip, but in the meantime, I’ll work on repairing my relationship with my dad, and this is a start.
It’s the right thing to do. I feel it in my heart.
“He and I need this more than you and me, and Fenna deserves a chance to build the same kind of connection we have, just with a little more balance.”
“I’m so proud to be your mother.”
“And I’m just as proud to be your daughter.”