Chapter Twenty-One
JASPER HUMMED as he held his hand under the spray of the shower, waiting for it to heat up to get in. He’d been riding a high all weekend, nearly giddy with the fact Vincent had practically made love to him. Twice.
The fact he’d admitted to almost all his secret little desires still filled him with mortification, to the point he wanted to curl up in a ball and die, but Vincent hadn’t recoiled.
Hadn’t called an end to the weekend or their contract.
Hadn’t called him clingy or too much or naive.
If anything, Vincent had seemed pleased.
Not that Jasper could point to anything in particular that made him think so.
But something had changed between them, and he couldn’t deny he liked it.
He toweled off and pulled on his boxers, deciding against other clothes, and heading downstairs.
Vincent was on the couch with his phone and glanced up briefly as Jasper stepped into the room, then looked up again with a raised eyebrow. “Why aren’t you dressed?”
Jasper grinned and settled himself in Vincent’s lap, inordinately pleased when Vincent set his phone aside and rested his other hand around Jasper’s waist. “We don’t have to leave yet.”
“Didn’t you say you had assignments to finish?”
He wrinkled his nose and pressed his face into Vincent’s neck. He did, but that didn’t mean he wanted to focus on them anytime soon. “Maybe.”
“Uh-huh.” Vincent rubbed his hand over Jasper’s arm before lightly pinching the back of his thigh. “I’m not going to be responsible for you failing your classes.”
Jasper whined and burrowed closer. He didn’t want to leave.
The thought of going back home was torture.
Here the house was quiet, he loved Vincent’s company, and obviously, there was amazing sex.
At home there were five other people, and finding a bathroom that was free or didn’t smell was a miracle most of the time.
“Jasper.”
He tensed despite himself. Vincent sounded more amused than angry, but still. “Jas,” he corrected softly.
Vincent hummed and dragged his fingers through Jasper’s hair. “You didn’t seem to like it when Matt called you that.”
Jasper made a face against Vincent’s neck. “’Cause he’s a prick, and I don’t even like talking to him.”
“Jas, then,” Vincent said, and Jasper sighed softly in bliss. “I’ve got to get to the club for an interview soon.”
And there went the blissful peace he’d been relishing all weekend. With a sigh, he pushed himself up, resignation burning in his chest. Vincent had a life and a job that didn’t include him outside of the weekend.
“Right,” he muttered, sliding off Vincent’s lap and trudging upstairs to find his clothes. His eyes stung as he dressed, and he scrubbed a hand against them with a silent curse. Fuck. What was wrong with him? He knew the deal. Slutty sub on Friday and back to his pumpkin on Sunday.
And he’d even gone and told Vincent how far he was falling. He groaned and braced his hands on the dresser as his mind happily replayed him vomiting his feelings all over Vincent.
He’d never intended to bring his feelings into this. Not like that, anyway. Even if Vincent had promised not to let Jasper’s clinginess bother him, basically declaring his love would have definitely ruined any chance of this lasting past their contract.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He swallowed another tortured groan and pulled his clothes on. Sucked in a deep breath. Failed to smooth his hair into something presentable. Finally dragged himself back downstairs.
A small part of him wondered if maybe this was the sub drop Keith and Vincent had warned him about, but suspecting that didn’t help keep the crushing dread from overwhelming him as he reached the bottom step.
Even through the tears threatening to blind him, he knew he was being ridiculous, but his body didn’t care.
“Please don’t make me leave,” he gasped, clutching the banister with one hand and his chest with the other.
He didn’t even hear Vincent move, but suddenly he was there. Strong arms wrapped around him, and he buried his face against Vincent’s chest, failing to stifle the sobs.
Gods, could he get any more pathetic?
VINCENT TIGHTENED his hold on Jasper as he took a deep breath, pushing aside the panic and guilt. Panic because it’d been years since he’d handled a truly distraught sub alone. Guilt because he was sure this was a delayed drop, and he really should have noticed the signs earlier.
There’d be plenty of time to beat himself up over that later.
For now he rubbed a hand against Jasper’s back and guided him to the sofa.
Several long minutes passed as Jasper soaked Vincent’s shirt with tears.
He checked the time on his phone and sent a text to the person he was supposed to be interviewing to let them know something had come up and he might be running a bit late, but someone would be available to let them in if they arrived on time.
He continued running his fingers through shower-damp hair, hoping the tears were at least cathartic. When Jasper finally fell quiet, he snatched a few tissues from the box beside the sofa and passed them over.
He tuned out the loud sniffling and nose blowing as best he could.
When it stopped, he tugged lightly at Jasper’s hair.
“So,” he said quietly, “here’s what we’re gonna do.
You’re going to drink either some water or juice, and then we’re going to have a chat about what just happened. Any objections?”
Jasper sniffled again and lifted himself off Vincent’s chest, scrubbing at his face before shaking his head.
“Okay.” Vincent headed to the kitchen for two bottles of water and an apple juice.
He passed one of each to Jasper and settled next to him again.
First things first… “I’m not upset, and I don’t have to send you back home tonight.
” He watched Jasper as he sipped the water, noting the way he practically sagged with relief at hearing he could stay.
The desire to find what was causing that kind of tension so he could fix it burned in his chest, but he’d get his answers soon enough.
“Other than staying another night, is there anything else we need to address?”
Jasper fiddled with the bottle lid, turning it over and over between his fingers. “No. I’m sorry I freak—”
Vincent lifted a hand to stop him. “You never need to apologize for an emotional reaction, pet.” He tapped his finger against the bottle to get Jasper to take another drink. “Can you tell me why you don’t want to go home?” When Jasper shrugged, he asked, “Is it safe there?”
That at least got a soft huff and a roll of his eyes. “Yes, it’s safe. I just—” He swallowed hard and took another sip of water.
Vincent took a breath and a drink of his own water to keep himself silent, waiting for Jasper to find the words he needed.
He might have had his suspicions, but he’d been wrong about someone before—so very wrong—and he wouldn’t put words in Jasper’s mouth. But when a few minutes passed, he gently prodded, “Just?”
Jasper shrugged and closed his hand around the bottle lid. “It’s crowded at home.”
That seemed like an understatement. The thought of living with more than one other person made his skin crawl, let alone five of them.
He lifted his hand, running his fingers through Jasper’s hair.
“Is that all?” he asked, shifting closer.
He settled his arm around Jasper’s shoulders, unsurprised when he leaned in.
“I like being here. With you,” Jasper told Vincent’s shoulder.
“I enjoy having you here, pet.” He tightened his arm in a brief hug.
When the silence settled again, he asked, “Are you sure there’s nothing else?
This weekend was a bit more intense than usual.
” More like far more intimate than he’d intended, but Jasper’s confession had pushed them down that path.
Jasper had surrendered to him in a completely different way than usual, and he wasn’t sure Jasper realized that.
“I liked it,” Jasper murmured, keeping his face buried.
“Me too,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Jasper’s head. He waited a few minutes to see if Jasper had anything else to say, then let the subject drop for now. Jasper was calmer; that’s all that mattered at the moment. “If that’s everything, I really do need to get to the club.”
Jasper sighed but sat up, and it only took a few minutes to get on the road.
“We’ll stop by your place, and you can get what you need for tomorrow.”
“Sorry for being a pain.”
“I don’t think you’re a pain.” He thought Jasper was touch-starved and still figuring things out, but he kept that to himself. He glanced over to see Jasper chewing on his bottom lip.
“What’s the interview for?”
“A chef.” He smiled faintly when Jasper made a noise of surprise.
“I want the staff to have a chance to eat an actual meal, and maybe have a dinner option for those who reserve a private playroom.” He’d been catering in food for those who worked the longer shifts for the past several months.
He didn’t mind the expense, but it would certainly help if he could get someone on staff instead.
“Huh.”
“What?”
Jasper shrugged. “That’s….”
He raised an eyebrow when Jasper trailed off. “Not as dickish as you expected?”
“I don’t really think you’re a dick,” Jasper said softly.
Vincent turned his full attention back to the road, a pleased smile tugging at his lips. His free hand found its way into Jasper’s hair, threading through the soft strands.
Maybe Jasper wasn’t the only one a bit touch-starved.
THE DOUBT and anxiety that had fucked off all afternoon and evening finally tried to wriggle back into existence as they returned home that night. Jasper thought he’d hidden it well, but as soon as they reached the bedroom, Vincent tugged him around to face him.
“What’s wrong?”