16. Ranger
Chapter 16
Ranger
The tune singing past my lips was a familiar one. A whistle rendition of a song my mother used to play for Callie Rose and me on her guitar.
It had been a long, long while since I allowed myself to remember those times with anything but hate and sorrow in my heart. But Sarah…she was opening up something inside of me that hadn’t been visible to anyone in years. That glimmer of hope. The smallest kernel that had kept me going all these years.
When I rounded the bottom of the staircase into the kitchen, I found Miles and Callie Rose staring at me with confused looks on their faces.
Miles’s brows bunched together, creating an angry caterpillar above his eyes. “Were you just whistling ?”
I didn’t miss how Callie Rose elbowed him in the ribs before she said, “I think hell just froze over.”
I shot them both a bird. “Busybodies. ”
Callie Rose snorted. “Um, you’re the one coming in here all chipper which, by the way, is completely unlike you. So forgive us if we’re a little confused.”
I glowered at my little sister. “Shouldn’t you be glad for your brother when he’s in a good mood?”
The stool she sat on squeaked as she rotated her seat, following me with those piercing eyes as I made my way to the coffee pot. “Yeah. Sure. But usually when something shifts like this it means there’s trouble on the horizon.”
Setting the coffee pot back down I turned to face her and I saw the worry written on her face. My mood immediately soured. Not because of her prying, but because I hated that my sister had experienced such pain in her life that she struggled to let a good thing happen without worrying about the other shoe dropping.
Miles must have sensed the tension because he gulped down the remainder of his coffee before saying, “I’ll see you at the barn.”
“Actually,”—Callie Rose held up a hand—“I need some help with the chicken coop before he heads out.”
Miles simply tilted his chin at her in acknowledgment before heading out. She was the woman of this house and despite Miles and I being more than twice her size, she kept us both in line. Held us together. When she spoke, we listened.
I knew the conversation wasn’t over, even when she hopped off the stool and made her way out the front door. I ate my eggs straight from the pan before I grabbed my black cowboy hat off the wrung and stepped into the biting cold.
One of the roosters let out a loud crow on my approach to the coop. Callie Rose was already herding some of the hens to a smaller holding pen. With the morning light hitting her face, she looked so much like our parents. Our mother’s button nose and bright hazel eyes. And her long black curls were a match for our father’s. Something clanged in my chest, but I shoved it aside as she righted herself and looked over at me.
“So, I take it your date went well?” Her breath clouded in front of her.
“It did, yes.”
“Tell me about her.” Something shifted in her gaze. Softness perhaps? Replacing that cold steel that had gotten her through all the losses in her short life.
I grabbed the leather work gloves from the back pocket of my jeans and slid them on. Silence took over me for a few moments, not knowing where to begin.
Then, finally, “She reminds me of the first flower to rise in spring after a long harsh winter. I can tell she’s been through a lot in her life. Maybe not similar to what you and I have gone through, but her own mess. Her own pain. Yet, she fights the grip of that pain and still chooses to be bright and kind and courageous.”
My sister stopped unwinding the chicken wire and shifted toward me.
“What?” I asked .
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you speak about someone like that.”
I shrugged. The feelings inside of me became overwhelming. I didn’t know what to do with them all, so I remained quiet.
Callie Rose went back to unwinding the wire so I could nail it to the bottom board.
“Do you think she likes you?” This time my sister kept working, kept pulling hard against the metal.
I chuckled. “I hope so. She seemed to have fun the other night before—” I cut myself off, not wanting to talk about the asshole who’d almost ruined our first date. But more so not wanting to worry Callie Rose.
“Before what?” When I glanced at her, those eyes—our mother’s eyes—were trained on me.
Shit . There was no getting out of this one now that I’d slipped up. I could see it now. Spending the next several days under her fire of peppering questions until she finally wore me down and I told her what had happened.
Saving myself days of misery, I decided to tell her now. “There was a guy at the bar, drunk off his ass. When we walked past him and his buddies, he decided to put his hands where they didn’t belong.” I flexed my right hand, remembering what it had felt like for my fist to meet his face. “He paid the consequence.”
“Fucking hell, Ranger,” she spat. “What were you thinking?”
My spine stiffened at her tone. The fear that laced the anger .
My mouth popped open with a retort I knew I’d regret, so I slammed my lips shut.
“Do you have any idea how easy it would be to get sent back to prison after already being found guilty of a violent charge?”
Frustration zipped through me as I stood, no longer able to remain in the small space. “You don’t think I know that? I was the one sitting behind those bars, Callie Rose. I know the risk.”
She took a step toward me, anger crumpling her face. “Then why do it? Why take the risk for someone you barely know?”
“Because!” I threw my hands in the air and she flinched. Not because she was afraid, but because I’d always had a leash on my emotions. Always controlled. Always unfeeling.
My chest heaved from the cold air hitting my lungs. “Because for the first time since mom and dad were gone and I fucked up my entire life…I finally feel like there might be a chance for something more. And I can’t tell you why she makes me feel this way. But she does. And just like I’d lay my life down for you and Miles, I’d protect her from the evil of this world. Even if it meant sacrificing myself.”
She stared at the dirt for a long while until I wasn’t sure if she was going to respond at all. Then she turned to me and the look on my sister’s face nearly broke me as she said, “But who protects you , Ranger? We don’t live in a fair and just world where the good guy gets to walk away unscathed. Our world is fucked up. You’re not invincible. You can’t go around protecting everyone. Because when you do, there are consequences. Very real consequences.” Her voice broke, along with my heart.
“Maybe Sarah is everything you’ve ever wanted. Ever needed in a partner. And maybe it’s selfish of me to say this, but I don’t want you to be betrayed by those people again. Sarah…she’s part of that world. She grew up as one of them.”
I shook my head. “She’s not like them, Cal. She’s not.”
She took another step toward me, taking my gloved hands in hers. “Maybe she isn’t. God”—she closed her eyes for a moment, her ebony hair shimmering as her head shook side-to-side—“I hope she’s not like them. But her parents are. What will that mean if you let this go on any further?”
I stared back at my sister. Seeing the pain of my decisions etched into the planes of her beautiful face.
Emotions. Too many emotions swirled through me. I’d learned to handle the anger. Deep breaths and all that shit. But this .
Everything Callie Rose said was right. Sarah came from a blue blood family and it wasn’t a secret just how far their prejudices ran against people like me. I wasn’t a lawyer or a doctor. I grew up nearly poor as dirt. I was a fucking cattle rancher for Christ’s sake.
Logic was barking at me. Warning me to stay away. To listen to my sister because even though that guy had just been a drunken bastard in a bar, he could have easily been someone of influence. Someone with more money and resources than me. It wouldn’t have changed what I’d done because any man who touched a woman without her permission was on my permanent shit list. But my sister was right. One punch could have landed me right back in prison.
The thought of gray stone walls and iron bars had me grinding my molars together. I couldn’t go back. Wouldn’t .
And yet.
Sarah had quickly become the light leading me from the darkness. I was probably crazy by normal people’s standards. We’d only truly known one another for a short time. But there was no denying the connection we had. Maybe there was a feral side of me that wanted to protect the people I loved. And maybe being with Sarah put me at risk of giving into that side of me. But the thought of letting that light blink out, of not giving it a chance, had my stomach forming a pit.
Dropping my sister’s hands I grasped her shoulders. “I know you’re afraid of me being taken away again. I can’t tell you how much I wish I could go back in time and change what I did. Call the police or just grab the kid and run. But that time isn’t now. I promise that I will try harder to do things differently. To prevent myself from getting in trouble. Because you’re right. The world isn’t a just place. It never has been.” The image of our father leaving our home for the last time flashed across my mind. Coming and going like a swift wind.
“But I will do my part in making this easier on you, okay?”
Those hazel eyes darted back and forth between mine like she was trying to see if I was being sincere.
“Okay,” she said with a whispered breath.
I brought her in for a bear hug and tussled her hair with my gloved hand. She swatted me away and I loved seeing her like that. Wild hair pointed in all directions, a childlike smile on her face. It reminded me of simpler times. Before… everything .
We went back to working on the chicken coop. Me hammering and her holding the wire tight. We were halfway done when she asked, “And what about Sarah?”
Crouched, I settled my elbow on my knee, letting the hammer hang from my hand. “I would love for you to get to know her. See what she’s really like. I think you’ll come to like her a lot.”
Callie Rose stared out at the rolling fields. When she looked at me, the worry was gone. Replaced with a joyful smile, moisture gathered in her eyes. “If you care for her this much already, then I think you’re right. I’ll probably like her very much.”
Something lessened in my chest like I was finally letting go of a weight that I’d been carrying for so long I’d almost forgotten just how heavy it was.