9. Sydney
“So, the new exterior wall will come out to about here.” I step back, my foot sinking into the dirt, and make a marker with my arms, not necessarily to ask Neal for confirmation, but more so to acknowledge the plan out loud. To make sure we’re all on the same page moving forward.
“Yup.” Neal nods as he, Graham, and I examine the space directly behind the lodge, visually placing the changes to be made. He points to the back wall. “Graham and Blair’s apartment expansion will take up that whole side of the building directly behind the dining room and kitchen. And a proper office and upgraded library will be in the middle section. Then the utility room, laundry, and exercise room are carved out for the far side.”
“Sounds great,” Graham says enthusiastically. I can practically see the wheels turning in his head. I can envision it too. How this place will look with the updates. How it’ll be able to serve so many more guests in so many different ways. I just know my grandparents would have been thrilled with this—and that makes it all worth it.
“Once we get demolition of the neighboring cabins out of the way, we’ll start in the back of the lodge here and work our way forward so you can keep operations running until we reach the front half of the building,” Neal says.
“Perfect,” Graham says. “And Syd and I went over the schedule of blocking off reservations for each of the cabins in staggering weeks. Just let me know if the timeline looks different for that so I can adjust as needed.”
I nod, agreeing with Graham as Neal turns his attention to me.
“What’s the latest on the glamping tent area? When can we get up there?”
I actively choose to remain professional, so I keep the irritation in my mind instead of outwardly rolling my eyes. “It’s not looking good, actually. We might not be able to acquire that land…but I’m not giving up yet, so just hold tight on that portion.”
“Okay.” He points to the woods behind us. “We always have this area back here if we need to revert to plan B and do it on a smaller scale.”
A squeeze of panic grips my throat at the thought. It wouldn’t be good enough that way. It wouldn’t be perfect.
“Yup,” I agree with him as the three of us start walking back around to the front. My boots slip through a muddy spot before I have the chance to skirt around it, but it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Getting a little muddy is par for the course out here.
“So, your next job will be to clear everything out of that shed,” Neal tells Graham, pointing to the structure as we pass. “We’ll have to move the whole thing back a bit to fit the expansion.”
“Roger that.” Graham salutes.
“I’ve got a barge coming out tomorrow morning with an excavator, a Bobcat, and a team of guys who are going to start clearing anything we’re allowed to before the permits come back, which should be any day now. Once we get those, we’ll hit the ground running,” Neal explains.
“Sounds like a plan. Thanks for your help executing this, Neal,” I say with a smile as we reach the steps of the front porch. Shielding the sun with my hand does little to combat the glare as it beams off the lake, but I do my best to keep it out of my eyes.
“You bet,” he says with a smile. “I’ll run in to grab my things. Sam should be flying in to pick me up any minute here.”
“I’m actually hitching a ride with you into town,” I tell him. “So, I’ll see you on the dock.”
With a wave, Neal heads inside the lodge.
“What are you doing in town?” Graham asks as soon as Neal is out of earshot. A wave of guilt and heartache hits me like a brick wall at his question. I know what he’s hoping to hear, and I hate that I have to burst his bubble like this again—just like I do every time he asks.
“I’m meeting Laura and Jimmy at The Saloon for happy hour. I haven’t seen them in ages, so we’re making a point to catch up since I’m here,” I say with a tentative smile.
“So, you’re not seeing Mom, then?” To his credit, he tries to hide his disappointment, but I feel the weight of it regardless of the neutral expression on his face.
“No,” I say softly, looking down.
He nods, pushing his lips together. We do this often enough over the phone that I know he won’t push me on it, but man does it hurt to feel his disappointment in person.
“I have to go change before Sam arrives,” I say gently, pointing in the direction of my cabin.
“Alright. I’ll keep an eye out for him.” He heads toward the stairs while I turn on my heel, making a beeline down the trail to my cabin.
I’m able to do a quick outfit change and clean up my makeup in record time. I even have time to spritz some perfume on my wrist, even though I know the mosquitos will swarm me later because of it.
My phone buzzes with a text message just as I’m heading out the door.
Graham : Sam’s here.
I rush to the docks where Sam and Graham are holding the floatplane in place.
“Sorry. Coming!” I yell as I jog, ignoring the small voice from my childhood in the back of my mind that reminds me not to run on a dock.
“Your chariot awaits.” Sam smiles, offering his hand to usher me into the open door on the side of the plane. I give Graham a quick kiss on the cheek and take Sam’s hand to climb inside.
“Hey, Neal.” I settle next to him, sinking into a cloth-covered seat, pulling the seat belt tightly across me. Sam says farewell to Graham and follows me inside, closing the plane door behind him.
I watch with fascination as he starts pressing buttons and pushing levers to bring the plane to life, and a small swarm of butterflies flutters inside my stomach. No matter how many times I’ve flown in a floatplane—and that would be too many times to count—it just never gets old.
We slowly bob across the water as Sam takes the plane out of the bay. Then another exhilarating rush runs through me as he accelerates, lifting us off the water and up into the sky.
I peer out the window to watch Ruby Lodge as it gets smaller by the second. I never waste a chance to admire it like this from up here. There’s something special about getting an aerial view of a place that holds so many of your memories. In the same breath, it can also be a devastating reminder of the present day that looks nothing like the past you once knew.
Neal and I chat mindlessly for the twenty-minute flight, and before I know it, my stomach flips again as we land and approach the marina in Baudette.
“We’re good to go,” Sam announces from the front as he climbs out of his seat to open the door for us. He exits first, offering a greeting to the dock boys who are holding the plane steady, and then he offers a hand to help me climb out.
“Thanks for letting me hop in, Sam. I really appreciate it,” I tell him.
“Anytime. We need to leave by 5:30 to be able to get back before dark, though, so just text me when you’re ready.”
“Okay!” I wave and call out a quick goodbye to Neal before rushing off the dock toward town.
As I head up the inclined sidewalk toward the main road, the familiar weight of both nostalgia and grief settles over me. The city of Baudette holds the most painful memories for me, much more than Takini Island does. Even now, I can’t walk this sidewalk without the stark awareness of my mom—and dad—being only a few short blocks away. It’s a complex and strange feeling to be so close to something and yet still feel so mind-numbingly far away at the same time. The reality of the thought alone creates a heavy knot in my stomach as I swallow, trying to push past it.
A quick right takes me to The Saloon, a bar that opened five years ago. I’ve never actually been there, but Jimmy recommended it. I take in a calming breath, channeling my focus on the excitement of seeing my friends, and head inside.
“Syd!” Laura’s voice immediately calls out from the back corner, and I find where she and Jimmy are sitting on barstools.
“Eek!” I shriek, doing a little happy dance as I run into her open arms for a much-needed, long-awaited hug.
“Ah, I missed you,” I say into her hair before pulling Jimmy into a tight embrace as well.
“Well, look what the wind blew in,” Jimmy marvels. “Miss hot-shot architect. It’s about time you came home to say hi.”
A twinge of guilt twists in my gut. Admittedly, avoiding home has had an effect on all of my relationships, not just the one with my mom.
“I know, I know.” I cringe. “I’m sorry.”
I slide onto the stool next to Laura and ask, “When did you get in?”
“Only about twenty minutes ago. It took me an hour this time to drive from International Falls—not bad!”
“This is the first time she’s been back in a while too,” Jimmy complains, hooking his thumb at Laura.
“Hey, I come home at least once a month, so don’t start.” She points a finger in his face, and I laugh, realizing how much I’ve missed them.
“Yeah, yeah. Do you want a drink?” he asks, waving the bartender down for me.
“Just a soda water and lemonade please.” I smile at the bartender, knowing I recognize him from some small part of my past here but not enough to officially acknowledge or make small talk with him.
I can feel my two friends’ stares on me, as my non-alcoholic beverage choice is a far cry from what I would have ordered back in the day, but I don’t feel the need to explain.
It’s not that I don’t drink at all, but I’m self-aware enough to know that I’ve used alcohol as too much of a crutch in the past. I’ve leaned a little too heavy on it at times. I feel enough on edge just by being here that I don’t feel like adding it to the mix. Besides, I don’t need it to have fun.
I twist in my seat, facing both of them, and grin.
“So, what’s new? Tell me everything,” I say to neither of them in particular.
“Laura was just telling me she got promoted to regional manager at the paper mill,” Jimmy offers.
“Laura! That’s amazing! Congratulations!” I grip her shoulder and squeeze. “And how’s the wedding planning going? Last time we spoke, you mentioned Ricky was absolutely no help at all.”
“He still isn’t.” She huffs, but I revel in the enamored glint to her eyes that I always swear I can see whenever we talk about him over the phone.
“Either way, it’s going to be great. I can’t wait,” I tell her honestly while taking a sip of my drink.
“What about you, Jimmy?” I turn my attention to him. “Is the gas station business everything you hoped it would be?”
Staying in Baudette after graduation to join his family’s legacy in the service station industry was always the expected route for him—at least that was his plan and dream for his life for as long as I can remember.
“Everything and more.” He says it sarcastically, but the look on his face tells me he’s truly happy, and that’s all I need to know.
When I take my next sip, my eyes wander around the bar, and I catch sight of none other than Cole walking our way, appearing just as he has every time I’ve seen him since I’ve been back—grumpy and irritated. It’s ironic that seeing him seems to make me feel the exact same way.
“Ugh,” I grumble to myself.
“What’s with the face?” Laura asks, turning her head in the direction of my displeasure.
Cole looks over, and our gazes connect, two matching scowls that zone in on each other. There used to be a time when the sight of him was intriguing and electrifying. Now all I feel is aggravation and disgust.
“Cole,” I say curtly in greeting as he slows to a stop in front of me.
“Peterson,” he replies, nearly under his breath.
“Did you come to concede on the sale?” I ask as chipper as I can muster. “We could have done that on the island, you know. No need to follow me into town.”
He huffs, shifting his weight on two feet while arching a brow. “Believe it or not, my every move does not, in fact, revolve around you or your renovation plans. Shocking, I know.”
I roll my eyes so hard it physically hurts, and Laura chokes on her laugh, hiding it in Jimmy’s shoulder, who I believe is also grinning.
Just as I’m about to turn in my seat to brush him off, recognition flashes across Laura’s face as she examines Cole.
“Wait a minute,” she says, tapping a finger against her lip, visibly struggling to place him. I mentally sigh, knowing exactly where this is heading.
Cole deepens his scowl as he pushes his lips together and offers her a simple word, “Measles.”
My mouth goes dry as Laura snaps her fingers. “Yes! That’s it!”
He ever so slightly lifts his brow at me as if to prove some point—which is noted.
“Chicken pox,” I correct in a defiant whisper. Laura whips her eyes to me in the next second when the rest of the realization of who he is sinks in.
Cole keeps his piercing stare on me as I try to come up with words in my defense, but unfortunately, nothing comes to my mind. My brain goes all fuzzy, and I can’t think straight when he’s staring at me like that.
“Alright, then.” He dips his head, acknowledging the three of us before continuing past. We all watch the back of his head in silence until he disappears inside the bathroom.
“Cole, right?” Jimmy asks me in a hushed voice, as if he might be able to overhear us through the wall. “The former mayor’s son?”
“Yup,” is all I can say.
“Dang, he aged well,” he breathes. I want absolutely nothing to do with talking about how handsome he is, which, admittedly, he is…but it does nothing to overshadow the truth of his character. I clear my throat and change the topic.
“Alright, tell me about the latest honeymoon plans, Laura.”
Her eyes light up as she delves into their top three destination picks and their pros and cons list for each one.
As the next hour passes by, I try to soak in the rare time with my old friends as much as I can. However, I end up focusing an annoying amount of effort on batting away the hyperawareness I have of the man who’s sitting across the bar.