10 Kierra
10
Kierra
Sixteen Years Old
“A party?” I asked with a cocked brow as Rosie set down her lunch tray across from me. “At Brett’s house?”
Rosie swirled her straw around before sipping her chocolate milk. We had been friends for a while, even though we were quite different people. She was more of a partyer than I was. Gabriel was, too, but he never tried his hardest to get me to go to parties with him. If anything, he told me time and time again to avoid said parties.
“Some things are for good people, and some things are for not-so-good people. House parties aren’t for you, Penguin,” he’d swear.
“Is that because I’m a good person or a not-so-good person?” I replied.
He’d smile and roll his eyes. “Don’t play dumb. You’re a good one.”
Rosie, however, didn’t think like Gabriel. Her thoughts were the complete opposite of his, if I was honest. She was so determined to get me to a house party that one would think her life depended on it. She stood on the firm foundation that everyone deserved to go to parties.
“Yes, Kierra. A party at Brett’s house. Just imagine how great it would be. Booze. Boys. Boys and booze.” She clapped her hands together as if that combination was the highest level of life’s success. “We have to go.”
“Or,” I offered, “we could not go.”
Rosie pouted as she sipped her chocolate milk and gave me puppy-dog eyes. “Kierra. Please.”
“Don’t you normally go to these things with Monica?”
“She’s in Florida visiting her grandparents. Besides, I want to go with you.”
“Why?”
“So you can stop being antisocial and actually talk to Brett Stevens.”
My cheeks flushed. “Why would I want to talk to Brett Stevens?”
“Because you’ve been in love with the guy for years, and he doesn’t even know you exist.”
“Exactly. Crushes should never know that a person exists. It ruins the mystery of it all.” Gabriel thought I was crazy for having a crush on Brett. Then again, Gabriel hated every guy that I ended up having a crush on. To be fair, I hated every girl he’d ever fallen for, too.
“Kierra.” Rosie pouted. “Please. It’s my birthday weekend, and I really want to go with you! It would be the best birthday ever.”
I grumbled, feeling guilty. If that was her main birthday wish, I could make it come true. Besides, how bad could a party at Brett’s be? “If we go—”
“We’re going!”
“ If we go,” I continued, “we only stay for a while, and we leave together. No matter what.”
“And you’ll kiss Brett Stevens.”
“I’m not kissing Brett Stevens.”
“Why not? You’ve been crazy about him for years!”
“I know,” I agreed. “That’s exactly why I don’t want to kiss him. You don’t kiss the person you’re crazy about. Then there’s always room for a letdown. I’ve never even spoken to the guy. I prefer to keep my distance from him.”
“Like a creeper lurker in the bushes.”
“Exactly. Then he can’t crush my crush on him due to not being interested.”
“Why wouldn’t he be interested in you? News flash, Kierra—you’re hot. Yeah, sure you went through your weird brace-face phrase, but you came out stronger for it.”
“I…don’t know if that’s a compliment.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’ll pick you up at eight. This is going to be so much fun.”
Why did I not have the heart to tell her I didn’t want to go? Oh, because I was a sucker for wanting to please other people before myself. If I had it my way, I’d be home each night reading about fictional people who felt more alive than most real humans.
Later that night when Rosie showed up, I dreaded dragging myself over to the party. I felt a mixture of nerves, panic, and excitement. What if I officially talked to Brett that night? What if we were able to interact with each other? What if he had a crush on me the same way I had a crush on him?
Clearly, I was in a full-blown delusional state as I walked up his front steps. The party was blasting with music, and a ton of people I knew but didn’t really know were all over the place laughing and drinking.
It was funny how you could be around people all the time and realize not a single person knew anything about you.
“Drinks, drinks, we need drinks!” Rosie cheered. She placed her hands on my shoulders and locked her eyes with mine. “Don’t move, okay? I’ll grab drinks. Vodka or tequila?”
“Water.”
Rosie smiled. “Vodka it is!”
She hurried away, and I leaned backward against the staircase. As my eyes darted around the room, I felt more and more out of place. The things we did for friends.
“Penguin, what the hell are you doing here?” was heard from my left.
I looked over to meet Gabriel’s brown eyes and felt a wave of comfort. Someone I actually knew and loved. My eyes moved to the person Gabriel had his arm wrapped around. Ali Thomas.
Ugh.
They’d been dating for over a year, and I was almost certain I was her sworn enemy. I’d never even done anything to her, but I knew it was because Gabriel was my best friend. It wasn’t shocking that the girls Gabriel dated had something against me. I probably would feel weird, too, if my boyfriend’s best friend was another girl.
But there was nothing between Gabriel and me except the greatest of friendships. Ali had nothing to worry about. Still, I got her cold, harsh stares whenever we crossed paths.
I smiled. “Rosie wanted me to come to my first party in celebration of her birthday.”
Gabriel’s brow knit. “You could’ve just bought her a gift. You hate parties.”
“Yeah, well. It’s what she requested.”
Ali smirked and shook her head. “What would you even do at a party? Read a book?”
“My hope is to find one hidden somewhere in the house,” I joked. Well, half-joked. Because Rosie had made me leave my current read at home, I was certain she secretly hated me.
Gabriel’s mouth curved up, and I loved how it looked on him. “Good luck finding a book here. I doubt Brett knows what reading is.”
“Hey now, be nice,” I ordered.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh right. Your stupid crush.”
“It’s not stupid,” I argued, glancing around to see if Brett was anywhere to be found.
Ali began picking at her nails and looked around before pouting. “Gabriel, I need a drink.”
His eyes darted back and forth between Ali and me before he nodded. “Sure. Okay.”
“I doubt Kierra drinks, though. So just one for me,” Ali demanded.
I stood taller. “For your information, I am drinking tonight.” Ali’s jabs were growing more and more annoying with each minute that passed. I knew how to let loose. I knew how to have a good time.
It just so happened that my good time didn’t involve booze; it involved fiction. Still, I wanted to shove it in her face. Luckily for me, Rosie came over with my drink in her hand.
“Here you go, Kierra. Hey, Gabriel!” Rosie sang. Her eyes moved over to Ali, and she grimaced. “Alison.”
“ Ali ,” Ali corrected. “Nice to see you, Rosalina.”
“ Rosie ,” Rosie responded.
Gabriel chuckled slightly. If there was anyone Ali hated more than me, it was Rosie. Maybe because Rosie didn’t back down from Ali’s controlling nature. She stood ten toes down against Ali and her rudeness.
Gabriel nodded toward Rosie. “Happy birthday, Rose.”
“Thanks, Gabriel. My gift is getting Kierra out to a party. Are you as shocked as I am?”
“Stunned,” he said.
I took a sip of my drink and instantly wanted to spit it out, but I powered through because Ali thrived on witnessing others’ weaknesses. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why Gabriel was obsessed with dating the rudest girl at our school. Then again, Ali was easy on the eyes, and Gabriel did have a bit of a bad-boy persona. On paper, they made sense. Except that Gabriel wasn’t a complete monster. At least not with me.
He didn’t showcase the soft side he shared with me in private very often, though. It was his best-kept secret.
Ali grumbled. “Gabriel. My drink.”
“Oh, sorry, Ali. I didn’t even notice that you don’t have feet,” Rosie said.
Ali cocked her left eyebrow. “What?”
“Well, seeing how you are ordering Gabriel to get your drink, I figured your own legs didn’t work.”
“Oh shut up, Rosie. I’m done here,” Ali said, marching off to retrieve her drink on her own. “Hurry up, Gabriel!” she shouted over her shoulder.
Gabriel shook his head. “I’m going to get my ass chewed out for that. You know that, right, Rose?”
“Yeah, well, it might wake you up to the fact that you shouldn’t date monsters. Speaking of… I’m going to go hurry off to see Jason.” Rosie looked over at me. “You good?”
I nodded. “Yup. I’ll be…here.”
“Okay. I’ll be back soon!”
Rosie scooted off, leaving Gabriel and me together. I leaned against the staircase, and he leaned right beside me. I took another sip from my cup and made a slight face.
“You do know you don’t have to drink that, right?” he asked me.
“What? No. It’s fine. I’m cool. I’m hip. I’m a party animal.”
He laughed. “Penguin.”
“I mean it. I’m sick of Ali hating me and calling me a good girl.”
“So you feed into her bullshit by drinking?”
“If that will get her to shut up, yes.”
His brows knit. “I can tell her to stop being rude to you. I have no problem doing that.”
“Don’t you dare,” I ordered. “I’m not going to be the reason you end up single, because I run off everyone you date.”
“You know why she hates you, right?”
“Because I’m ridiculously charming, likable, and beautiful?” I joked.
“Yeah.”
He didn’t follow it up with anything else. A strange butterfly sensation hit the pit of my stomach from his words. He looked down at the floor and flicked his thumb against his nose before looking back up. “You don’t have to try to fit in here, Kierra. You weren’t born to do that.”
“To have fun?”
He laughed. “To fit in.”
“Gabriel!” was hollered from the kitchen, and we both looked over to see Ali standing there, pouting.
“Duty calls.” He nudged my arm. “I’ll check on you later.”
“You don’t have to. Be a good boyfriend,” I told him. “I’m good.”
“I’ll check on you later,” he repeated before giving me a half grin as he walked away to his whiny princess.
I stayed glued to the staircase, studying everyone around me as I sipped the disgusting drink in my hand. Rosie seemed to be having the time of her life, finding her social butterfly skills hitting an all-time high. Her birthday dreams were coming true, and I was fine taking a back seat to be a side character to her story. I knew if I asked Rosie to spend the day reading with me in the library, she’d be right there, front and center. Even if that meant she’d have to be quiet. My dear friend struggled to not talk much.
“Do you always hang out against stairwells at parties?” a person said, making me stand straighter.
I glanced up to find Brett Stevens in front of me. I looked over my shoulder to see if he was talking to someone else, but all I found was the stairwell. Obviously.
As I tried to choke down my bursting spike of panic, I just smiled.
No words were anywhere to be found, which was expected. I had a way of freezing up when I was nervous, scared, happy—or, well, any emotion. I froze up instantly like a Popsicle.
Brett held another cup toward me. “I noticed you’ve been chewing on that cup for a while now. Figured you needed a new drink.”
My eyes all but bugged out of my skull. He noticed me? “ You noticed me? ”
“How could I not? You’re the most beautiful girl in this place.” He leaned back against the stairwell beside me. “Want to screw?”
“Screw what?” I asked, taking a sip.
“Me.”
I spat my drink out, stunned by his words.
That was not how I saw my first interaction with Brett Stevens going.
“What?” I laughed, feeling as if he was just joking. “No. Do you even know my name?”
“Yeah. Ali told me like five minutes ago. She told me you have the hots for me, so here you go.” He rubbed his chest up and down. The level of disgust that hit me instantly was at an all-time high. That was exactly why one shouldn’t ever interact with their crushes. They never live up to the hype.
A crush that was formed over three years was now crushed within two seconds of actual interaction. It was as if my sweet porcelain doll of Brett Stevens had shattered right in my face. Tragic.
“So…what is my name?”
“Naomi,” he said with the utmost confidence.
Welp.
That was underwhelming.
I pushed out a smile. “I’m not interested, but thanks.”
He gave me a stern look of disappointment. “You’re a tease.”
I then excused myself from the comfy stairwell that had been tainted by my ex-crush and started walking around, searching for Rosie or Gabriel to save me from my heart-shattering reality.
While I couldn’t locate them, I felt an urgent need to use the restroom after my drinks of the evening. I felt a little dizzy, but I wasn’t wasted. At least I didn’t think I was. Was this what wasted felt like? It was hard to tell. I’d never been wasted before. All I knew was when I walked, sometimes I faltered, and when my stomach turned, I sometimes felt like throwing up.
After seeing a line for the bathroom downstairs, I headed upstairs in search of another one. When I opened a door, I found an emptied bedroom with an attached bathroom. I hurried inside, hoping to make a quick in-and-out.
Once I stepped out of the bathroom, I reentered the bedroom to find Brett standing there in front of the bedroom door with his hands on his hips.
“Well, well, well. Funny meeting you here, Naomi.”
***
Gabriel
“I can’t believe Brett went for Kierra. I didn’t know she partied like that,” Ali said as she grabbed another drink from the fridge.
“What do you mean?” I asked Ali, completely confused.
“I told him she had the hots for him, and you know Brett. He’s into anything with two legs. Rumor has it that Kierra was dragged off to Brett’s bedroom. To be honest, I didn’t think Ms. Goody Two-Shoes had it in her.”
Dragged off?
If I knew anything about Kierra, it would be that she wouldn’t want to be tossed alone in a room with some guy she had a crush on after their first night of talking. And last I saw her, she was pretty tipsy.
The sensation of jangling nerves filled my gut as my hands formed fists. “I’ll be back.”
Ali huffed. “You can’t be serious. Let them be alone, Gabriel. If anything, this gets her to stop riding your dick so much. She’s so annoyingly obsessed with you.”
“We’re done,” I said without a second of hesitation.
Ali raised her brows. “Excuse me?”
“You and me—we’re done.” I didn’t stay to hear her yelling at me, calling me all kinds of names. I headed straight for Brett’s room but before barging in, I waited a second. What if Kierra did want to be in there? What if I was being a massive cockblock? What if—
“Wait. Stop, Brett,” was what I heard on the other side of the door.
That was enough to make me burst into the room. Kierra was pinned against a wall by her wrists, twisting and turning to try to get Brett off her. Without thought, I rushed over and yanked Brett away from her, tossing him across the room.
“Dude, what the fuck?” Brett blurted out as he crashed to the floor.
I ignored him as I placed my hands against Kierra’s face. “You okay?”
She nodded nervously, her eyes packed with drunkenness, panic, and tears.
I wrapped my arm around her and asked if she was all right. She didn’t respond. I hated that she didn’t respond.
We walked out of the bedroom with people staring our way as we headed for the front door. Rosie saw us, and she hurried over.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, concern dripping from every word.
“I’m taking her home,” I said. “You need a ride?”
“No, I’m walking. I’m only a few houses away. Kierra, are you okay?”
Kierra nodded slowly and forced out a smile. “I’m okay.”
She was lying, and I knew it. I pulled her outside and headed straight to my car. I placed her in the passenger seat, and the moment I slid into the driver’s seat, I slammed my door shut.
I gripped the steering wheel and slowly released a breath before turning to her and asking, “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m fine. Should you be driving, though?”
“I don’t drink when I come to these things with Ali. She gets wasted, so I always stay sober.”
“Oh…where is Ali?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
Kierra sat straighter. “Are you two okay?”
“Are you okay?” I countered.
She frowned.
My fucking heart shattered. “Penguin…”
“Can we just drive, please? I don’t want to be here, Gabriel.”
I wanted to argue, but the slight tremble in her tone made me feel sick. I turned on the ignition and drove off. “That place was filled with dicks. You shouldn’t have been in a place like that,” I scolded as I drove the drunken girl home.
“Why not? You were there.”
“Yeah, well”—I shrugged—“I’m a dick.”
“The dickest dick that ever dicked.” She gently giggled as she curled her knees in to her chest. Right as the laughter faded, a somber look invaded Kierra’s drunken eyes and she turned to look out the window. Her head rested against the headrest, and she sniffled slightly.
A knot formed in my gut. “Did he hurt you?”
“What?” she asked, not turning to face me.
“Brett. Did he hurt you?”
When she looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes were filled with tears. She raised her left shoulder and allowed it to drop. “It’s fine.”
The amount of anguish that shot through my system was alarming. I pulled the car over to the curb and put it in park. I took off my seat belt and turned to face her. “What did he do, Kierra?” I asked softly, trying to not scare her with the amount of rage I felt building up inside me.
A few tears slipped out and she quickly swiped them away with the collar of her shirt. “Nothing. It’s fine. He just… He was trying to…” Her voice cracked as she shut her eyes and more tears fell down her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter. You got there before he could get my clothes off.”
“He forced himself on you?” I asked.
“Gabriel…”
“Kierra. Tell me now. Did he force himself on you?”
Her brown eyes reappeared and they were dripping with the truth that she seemed scared to say out loud. She broke her stare from mine and nervously fiddled with her hands. She slowly nodded. “I just went into that room to get away from the crowd, and he followed me. I didn’t even know it was his room, but when I tried to leave, he blocked the door and tried to kiss…”
More tears from her.
More rage from me.
My hands gripped the steering wheel. “All right,” I stated calmly.
She placed a hand on my forearm. “It’s fine, Gabriel. I’m okay.”
“He forced himself on you,” I sniped, my anger not for her, but for Brett.
“It’s fine. I’m fine,” she lied.
“You’re not. You’re drunk and sobbing because that fucking asshole tried to take advantage of you, Kierra. That’s fucked up.”
“You showed up in time. You made sure nothing happened. So, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does!” I shouted, slamming my hands against the steering wheel. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. “ It fucking matters, Kierra .”
“I know,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “I know.”
When I opened my eyes, I saw how scared she’d been. I reached over and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and held on as if she’d never let go.
“Thanks for saving me, Gabriel.”
“Always, Kierra. Just make me a promise, all right? If you ever need me, you’ll call me. I don’t care if we’re in some kind of fight over something big or little. No matter what, we have to be there for one another, all right? We have to look out for each other. You can call me no matter what, and I can call you no matter what.”
She wiped away her falling tears and nodded slowly as she tugged on the sleeves of her shirt. “Okay. I promise.”
***
Kierra
When I showed up to school on Monday, Brett had two black eyes. Gabriel had swollen knuckles. We never talked about what happened. We never talked about that party again. Yet, I figured that was when it began to happen for me. That was the moment I’d begun to fall in love with my best friend.