If You Stayed

24 Gabriel

24

Gabriel

“Hey, Boss Man?” Ava asked, tossing some M&M’s into her mouth as we took a work break to play video games.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Do you think you can help me with something?”

“What’s up?”

She placed the game on pause and turned to face me. “I know there have been a lot of parties happening, but I think there’s one more big party that should happen before school comes back around, and I need your help planning it.”

“And what’s this party for?”

“My mom’s fortieth birthday. I feel like that’s an important birthday for old people, and well, Dad isn’t the best at throwing surprises for her. If anything, she’s always planned her birthday stuff, but I don’t know. Dad always gets his dinner parties and stuff to show off. Mom gets nothing. I just want to make sure it’s a great birthday for her.”

“Did you ask your dad to help? I don’t want to step on any toes.”

“Whatever. I don’t want his help,” she said snappily. That was odd. Normally, it seemed like Ava and Henry had a great relationship. They weren’t as close as Ava and Kierra, of course, but it seemed as if Ava had a strong love for her father.

“Is everything good with your dad?”

“Dad’s just Dad. It doesn’t matter. Do you want to help or not?”

“Sure, of course. We can start planning as soon as possible.”

Ava’s smile spread across her face. Any irritation she had about Henry disappeared as I agreed to help her set up a party. “Really?”

“Of course. I’d do anything for Kierra.” The words rolled off my tongue without thought, and then I realized how damn insane they sounded. I shook my head. “I mean, I’d do anything for you if that means helping your mom. My client.”

Ava nodded. “I think you meant the first comment, too. Which is fine, Boss Man. I’d do anything for her, too. There is one small issue, though.”

“And what’s that?”

“I only have one hundred dollars for the budget.”

I laughed. “I think I can manage to cover the rest.”

“Sweet! Thanks, Boss Man.”

“Welcome, kid.”

She tossed more M&M’s into her mouth and unpaused the game. “Let’s get back to me beating you.”

***

The day of Kierra’s party, Ava and I spent hours setting up. Of course, Henry knew about the party, but he did little to be involved. Though, when everyone showed up, he acted as if he’d been involved in every little detail, taking credit for the creativity that Ava had spent weeks on. It was damn annoying to say the least. As I helped Ava with the last tasks, I noticed Henry out of the corner of my eye, greeting everyone with his over-the-top personality.

“I hate that he’s doing that,” Ava grumbled as we finished checking on the champagne table for the birthday toast later in the night.

“Who’s he and what is he doing?”

“My dad. He’s acting like this was all his idea.”

Oh.

So she’d noticed, too.

“You know what’s crazy?” Ava asked as she lifted a glass of champagne as if she were going to drink it.

I took the glass from her hand. “What’s that?”

“Mom laughs with you. Like, her real laughs. The kind where she tosses her head back in a giggling fit. I can’t remember the last time I saw her do that with Dad.”

My gut tightened. “I’m sure your parents laugh all the time together.”

“They don’t,” she replied. “If anything, all Mom does is cry because of him. She tries to hide it, but sometimes I hear her.” She turned toward me after staring at her parents across the room. She crossed her arms and shook her head. “You don’t like him, do you?”

I swallowed hard. “Your father is a brilliant man. He is decades ahead with his tech—”

“That’s not what I asked, Gabriel. I said you don’t like him. Him being smart doesn’t make him a good person.”

I grimaced, uncertain of what I was supposed to say. I wasn’t there to shit on her father. I wasn’t there to make her feel bad about the fact that her dad was some awful human being that most people thought was a saint. I wasn’t going to tell her about his cheating with their former chef, or him treating Kierra like she was nothing. He was a disgusting pig. But how could I convey that to his daughter?

“We’re just different people,” I told her.

“Yeah,” she agreed, “you are. You’re better than him.”

I arched an eyebrow and shook my head. “No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are. Based on that response alone. If I told my father he was better than you, he’d agree. Which would in turn prove that he wasn’t.”

“Ava…”

“I caught him screaming at Mom a few weeks ago,” she mentioned, her eyes flashing with tears. “He thought I was gone to my friend’s house for the weekend, but I came back to pick up my book.” Her voice began to crack as she spoke. “They didn’t know I came into the house, but he…” She dropped her head and shook it in disbelief. “He was screaming at her for something, as if Mom had ruined his entire life. I hid in the foyer because I didn’t know what was happening. I waited to see what she’d done that made him so angry. But then I found out why he was yelling so loud. Why his rage was at a boiling point. Do you know what Mom did wrong?”

“What’s that?”

“She burned herself getting a pizza out of the oven. Her hand hit the top of the oven, and she dropped the pizza, making a mess in the oven. She had a solid burn on her right hand, and he screamed at her for it. For a mistake. And the way he did it…It was so clear it wasn’t the only time he’d yelled at her like that when I wasn’t around. For the first time ever, I saw my dad as something new.”

“What did you see him as that day?”

“A monster.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t going to lie to the girl. Her father was a major dick, and knowing that he’d screamed at Kierra after she injured herself made me want to rage. It was taking everything inside of me to not march across the room and slam his head through a window.

Henry Hughes wasn’t a man. A grown man would never shout at his wife in that fashion. They’d never hurt someone they loved so deeply and humiliate them in public or private. I could only imagine how Kierra felt terrified and embarrassed and hurt by the outburst that he’d unleashed when he thought he was alone to torture her. How often did those kinds of things happen between the two of them?

How often did he hurt her? With and without his words?

“I’m not always the best with my words, Ava, and truthfully I don’t even know what to say right now because what I want to say isn’t child-appropriate.”

“It’s just funny to me.” She sighed and picked up a glass filled with punch, finally surrendering to the fact that I wasn’t going to allow her to down champagne. “He was my hero for the longest time. How could my hero be my other hero’s worst nightmare?”

I wanted to comfort her, but mostly I wanted to find Henry and make him feel how he made my two girls feel—small and scared.

My two girls.

Realistically I knew they weren’t mine, but my heart disagreed. I felt protective of Kierra and Ava.

My eyes began to dart around the house in search of Henry, who seemed to be quickly on the move as he interacted with guests. I figured it was about time I gave him one or two birthday greetings.

“I’ll be back, kid,” I told Ava as I picked up my own glass of champagne, downing it and placing it back down on the table.

As I walked around the house, I saw a ton of people laughing with one another. Some were dancing. Others spoke highly of Henry as if he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. The more positive comments I heard about him, the more my rage built.

When I looked across the way, I saw Kierra standing next to Henry’s mother, Tamera. The two smiled as they interacted. When Kierra looked up at me, her eyes flashed with a stillness. Her smile faltered for a second before her lips turned back on. She held up her hand, waving slightly. I waved back. I still felt uncomfortable after our last exchange. All I wanted to do was be near her, and I knew it was inappropriate to say the things I said to her, but I couldn’t help myself.

I just needed to let her know that I felt more whole whenever she was near me. There was something about Kierra and her eyes. I’d never known locking eyes with someone could feel so much like home.

She excused herself from Tamera and began to walk over toward me. “Hey, stranger.”

“Happy birthday, Kierra.”

“Thanks. This is amazing. Ava is a sneaky devil. I can’t believe she pulled this off all on her own.” She then narrowed her eyes. “Which is exactly why I don’t think she pulled it off by herself.”

“She may have asked for a little help. I may have made a few calls.”

“Gabriel…you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know. I wanted to. You look amazing, by the way.”

She was wearing a fitted deep-red gown that highlighted every curve of her body. My eyes had moved up and down her frame many times since I’d spotted her that evening. “Oh, this old thing? It’s a Kierra original.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Bullshit. You made this?”

“Finished it last week. I finally dusted off my machines.”

“It looks beyond fantastic. You look beyond fantastic. I’m so fucking proud of you, Kierra.”

Her eyes teared up. “Thanks, Gabriel.” A small breath released from between her lips. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Always.”

“For the first time in years, you make me feel seen. You make me feel…good enough. I haven’t felt like that in such a long time.”

I bit my bottom lip, debating if I moved in too close to her seeing as how there were so many others around us. What would our proximity appear like to them? What would people say if they saw me so close to Kierra? What would they think?

“Kierra—”

Before she could reply, the room filled with people singing “Happy Birthday.” We looked over our shoulders to see Henry and Ava coming out with a giant cake being guided on some robotic table. The three-tiered cake was covered in white, gold, and pink fondant with sparklers sticking out of it, making the whole cake seem remarkably luxurious.

Kierra’s eyes widened with surprise as she clasped her hands together and placed them against her mouth in awe.

As she moved closer to Henry and Ava, placing her hand against her heart, everyone in the room sang “Happy Birthday” to her, leaving her near tears. After the singing came to an end, Kierra blew out her candles. I couldn’t help but wonder what she wished for.

If I had a wish, it would be for her.

Damn, that dress looked phenomenal.

After the candles were blown out, everyone began cheering and shouting, “Speech, speech, speech!”

Kierra waved her hands bashfully. “No, no!” They kept chanting until she gave in. “Okay, okay, fine. Though most of you should know I’m not the best at public speaking. When I was sixteen, I had to give a speech during a softball awards ceremony, and I threw up all over myself.” Snickers were heard throughout the room. Kierra’s smile seemed so gentle. Her shyness only made me fall harder. I watched her lips slightly part as she continued to speak. “I am just really, truly grateful for you all. This surprise, you all showing up, means the world to me. My life is happier because you are all in it. Now, go eat, drink, and be merry.”

Everyone clapped and cheered once more.

Someone walked over to me and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find an older gentleman dressed in the most impeccable suit I’d ever seen in my life. And the most impeccable gray beard I’d ever seen in my life, too. This dude looked like a GQ model.

He smiled. “You’re Gabriel, right? The architect.”

“That’s me.”

He nodded and held his hand out to me. “I’m Joseph. I work at the clinic with Kierra.”

I shook his hand. “Oh yeah. I’ve heard about you from Kierra.”

“Hopefully good things,” he said as he lifted two beers from the robot that kept circling the room. He held one toward me and I accepted.

“Only the best. She really looks up to you and your work ethic.”

“She’s one of the most talented and compassionate individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure of not only working with, but knowing.”

“That’s not hard to believe,” I said, staring over to Kierra who was giggling with Ava as they cut the cake. “She’s quite extraordinary.”

“‘Extraordinary,’” he repeated as he removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose before placing them back on. “Yes. That’s the perfect word to describe her.”

Before I could reply, Henry played a few keys on the piano, grabbing the attention of the room. He then stood on top of the piano bench with a glass of wine in his hand. “Sorry to interrupt, but I think we can all agree that my wife’s speech was a little lackluster,” he said with that smug smile that seemed to be always plastered on his face. “And if you have ever been to one of our dinner parties, then you understand I love a good toast. So, I figured I’d take a moment to make a toast to the most splendid woman I’ve ever had the grace of knowing.” He held his glass up in the air. “You know, when I met Kierra, I was a single father trying to figure out life. She came in like a rocket and made my life brighter. Made our lives brighter,” he said as he gestured toward Ava. “So, tonight we toast to my beautiful, gifted, caring wife, Kierra. The woman who puts everyone else before herself. Cheers!”

Everyone cheered and drank their wine. Joseph stood beside me, shaking his head in disapproval. “‘The woman who puts everyone else before herself,’” Joseph said, echoing Henry’s words. “It’s funny. That’s supposed to be seen as a compliment, but really, it’s a curse.”

“How do you mean?”

“It’s self-harm—loving others more than you love yourself. Kierra is nicer to others than she is herself. I’ve never met such an extraordinary woman who was so unkind to herself.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I have a million professional reasons that I could come up with. Thousands of different ways to study her. Yet, from a friend’s viewpoint, it’s easy. Something in her past made her feel as if she didn’t deserve a certain level of love, so she overpours into others as a way to make up for her past.”

“She’s carrying guilt of some kind?”

“Yes, maybe.” He slightly shook her head. “Or maybe it’s just a heartbreak that never healed completely. Either way, her way of living will be to her own detriment. Maybe not today, but it adds up—giving so much without receiving a thing. Henry knows this and abuses that role in her life. He knows she’ll do anything for Ava, which means he can get away with anything if Kierra fears losing her daughter.”

“He controls her through her love for Ava.”

“Precisely. Which makes him the scariest kind of person. I mean, what kind of man would use his own daughter as leverage to get his way?”

A monster. A monster would do that.

Joseph nodded once. “But who knows? Maybe I’ve had one too many beers.” He held a hand out toward me. “It was nice to meet you, Gabriel.”

I shook his hand. “You too, Joseph.”

“In a perfect dream world, I’d have you build me a new home, too.”

“Just call me whenever you’re ready.”

“I doubt I could afford you,” he joked.

“I’ll give you the friends and family discount.”

Joseph laughed. “I’ll hold you to that. Cheers, brother,” he said, tapping his beer bottle against mine. Before he left, he said one more thing that stayed with me. “You know the difference? Between you and Henry?”

“What’s that?”

“He only speaks kind things of Kierra when they are in crowds. He’s loud about it around other people. You speak so kindly of her quietly, sincerely. And if I’m good at reading people, which I believe I am, I bet you speak that kindly of her within your thoughts, too.”

***

As the party continued, people grew more and more intoxicated. I still hadn’t had a chance to speak to Henry, but as more time moved by, I figured Kierra’s birthday party wasn’t the best opportunity to have it out.

Every time I looked over at Kierra, her smile was stretched wide, and she seemed surrounded by the people she loved most. It was a very different crowd than Henry’s dinner party. Everyone seemed genuinely more friendly and welcoming. There was a warmth about the whole situation, and I was glad she was able to have that level of joy. I was happy to see that the attention was only on her.

She found her way back over to me at one point. She was a little tipsy and had a goofy smile of delight on her face. “Guess what,” she said, swaying to the jazz music filling the room.

“What’s up?”

“I’m happily drunk.”

“I love that for you.”

“I love you, too,” she replied. Even drunk, she realized her words and shook her head. “I mean, I love that for me, too. I mean… Well, you know what I mean. I didn’t mean… Well, you know.”

I chuckled. “I know what you meant.” Even if I wished she meant what she’d said, I knew what she meant.

“Now, one question for you. A very serious question,” she said.

“Okay. Shoot.”

She leaned in closer. “Do you think I’m allowed to go change out of this dress now? Because I think my measurements were a little off and it’s a little too tight and I just want to change into sweatpants so I can eat more pizza.”

“It’s your birthday. You can change out of anything you want.”

She placed her hands against her hips and sighed heavily. “Okay, good because one more inhale, and the seams would bust and my butt would be on full display.”

As if that’s a bad thing, Kierra.

“I’ll be back,” she said, hurrying up the stairs. I watched her backside the whole time she exited, too. It didn’t take long for her to return, though. Yet when she emerged from around the corner, she was still wearing that amazing red dress. The only issue was she looked as if she’d seen a ghost. Her eyes were wide with panic, and I couldn’t help but walk closer to the staircase to see what was wrong.

Before I could begin to walk up the steps, I saw a panicked Ramona hurrying over to Kierra’s side, pulling up the strap of her dress. My head tilted as confusion filled me. That was until Henry emerged behind her, buttoning up his shirt. Unlike Ramona, he didn’t seem panicked at all. He seemed smug.

It was right then that I knew exactly what had taken place.

“Kierra, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see that. I mean, I didn’t mean for…” Ramona began rambling.

Kierra didn’t look at her for one second. Instead, her head rose and I caught her stare. She blinked once, and the pure shock on her face made my heart shatter into a million pieces. I couldn’t imagine how her own heart felt. How much betrayal could a heart endure before it simply gave up on beating?

Henry scolded her, instead of apologizing. “Don’t make a damn scene, will you, Kierra? You’re always making a damn scene. Tonight has been perfect. Don’t mess that up with your dramatics.”

With her dramatics?

Oh, fuck this guy.

She turned to him, almost robotically, and said, “Fuck you, Henry.”

He was as shocked as I was hearing those words fall from her mouth. Maybe it was the liquid courage pumping through her veins, or maybe she’d just reached her fed-up limit. Either way, she stood up for herself.

Henry quickly gripped her wrist and yanked her toward him with a force that sent a rage through every inch of me. “Don’t fucking embarrass me, Kierra,” he whispered as she cringed from his tight grip on her arm.

Without a thought, I headed up the stairs, straight toward Henry, and slammed my fist into his face. He stumbled backward, his body crashing to the floor. The whole party froze at that moment. The only sound heard was the music speakers, filling the space with jazz music.

The horrific situation made Kierra dart down the staircase and head outside. I followed after her. As I passed Ava, she looked just as perplexed as everyone else around us. “Gabriel, what’s going—?”

“One second, kid. Let me check on your mom,” I said as I sped past her.

I hurried to the backyard, where Kierra had rushed out to. She bent over and placed her hands on her sides, taking in deep breaths. Her whole body shook as I moved over to her. I placed a hand on her shoulder, and she almost leaped out of her skin as she shot around.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s me. It’s me.”

The moment she realized it wasn’t her husband touching her, she tried her best to shake off her nerves and catch her breath. “Sorry, sorry. I–I–I can’t—” She shook her head and began to pace. “I fucking hate him,” she cried. “I fucking hate him.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I do, too.”

“He likes it. He likes when I catch him because he gets off on hurting me. He’s sick, and he couldn’t stand that today was about me. He couldn’t handle that something was for me and not him. He couldn’t…” She took a deep breath and waved her hands wildly. “Fuck it. I don’t care. I’m so tired of caring. There’s nothing more that I care about.”

“Kierra.”

“Yes?”

“How can I help?”

Those words made her movements slow down. She looked up at me and her eyes flooded with tears. “Can you make me strong? Not this weak, embarrassing person who now has to deal with a household of people seeing me have a breakdown? I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want to be weak.”

“You’re not weak.”

“Yes,” she said. “I am.”

“No, you’re not. You’re strong, Kierra. And fuck him for making you feel anything but that. Fuck him for getting in your head and making you doubt the brilliant mind and person that you are. You deserve more.”

She stood in front of me with tears flooding her eyes. Her lips parted, but no words fell from them. I saw the heartache in her eyes, and I hated that it lived there. If I could, I’d swallow up all her pain and take it on as my own. Eyes like hers didn’t deserve to have such a broken look. Eyes like hers deserved to smile as much as her lips could. They deserved to sparkle with joy and an unattainable type of peace. She deserved more .

“Kierra, you feel like the whole fucking galaxy wrapped up in one human being. I’m not saying that to convince you to want me over Henry. Fuck me in this situation. Fuck everyone else in this current moment. I’m telling you this because I need you to feel how I feel for you. I need you to look into the mirror and know that you are the whole fucking universe wrapped in one. And you deserve better than anything that man can give you. So again, right now, how can I help you?”

She lowered her head lowered and tears rolled down her cheeks. “Get everyone to leave? I don’t want to deal with anyone right now. I don’t have the energy.”

“You got it.” I moved closer to her. And closer. And closer. So close that I could lean in to whisper against her ear. “Whatever you need from me, I’ll do. Whenever you need me, call me. No matter what. I’ll always answer.”

***

I ushered everyone out of the house, making sure no one lingered too long other than Ava and Tamera.

“Is she okay?” Tamera asked about her daughter-in-law. “Did Henry do something?”

I smiled even though I wanted to tell her how shitty her son had been. But Ava was in earshot. Then again, it probably didn’t look good that I slammed my fist against her father’s jawline. “She’ll be okay. If you can keep an eye on her, that would be great.”

“Of course,” Tamera said. “Always. I’ll go check on her now.”

Oddly enough, I believed her. She didn’t seem much like her son at all.

I looked over at Ava, who looked so distraught. That broke my heart, too. I didn’t know my heart could break so many times for two women in my life. “I’m sorry, kid.”

“Are you okay?” she asked me, wide-eyed with concern.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m sorry about what I did. That was uncalled for.”

“Did you do it to protect her?” she asked.

I nodded. “I did.”

She darted toward me and pulled me into a hug. I held on to her tightly, wishing I could take away any hurt that was residing in her, too. “Thank you, Boss Man.”

She then headed outside toward the backyard to check on her mom.

I went out the front door and started in the direction of my car.

“Gabriel! Gabriel! Wait up!” Ramona said, darting over to my car as I opened my driver’s door. I took a deep breath and released it through my gritted teeth as I slammed my door closed.

I turned to face her as she stood there combing her hair behind her ears.

I didn’t say a word.

That was until she began to speak again.

“Gabriel, I’m—”

“You’re fired.”

Her eyes bugged out. “What?”

“You heard me. You’re fired.”

“What? I… You can’t fire me. This isn’t a work event.”

I gestured toward her in frustration. “ You were fucking our client at our other client’s birthday party, Ramona! ” I whisper-shouted, bewildered by her comment.

“But I was off the clock,” she mentioned, shaking her head, seemingly stunned. She seemed shocked that I was pissed off. Shocked that I was raging from the fact. “You can’t fire me because of what I do in my private life.”

“Private life,” I huffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m confused as to why you’re so angry. Are you…jealous?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

She bit her bottom lip and shrugged. “Are you mad that another man wanted me? That you lost your chance?” The wild appearance of my eyes must’ve given her a big reality check, because she followed it up with, “Okay, it’s not that.”

I took two steps toward her. “Ramona, you fucked a married man at his wife’s birthday party. What the actual fuck were you thinking?”

“He…” She shook her head, looking as confused as ever. “He said they were more like roommates.”

“Who the hell cares what he said? Take him out of the equation. What makes you think that’s okay? How would you like it if someone fucked your husband at your birthday party?” She wasn’t an idiot. Ramona was way too intelligent to be acting the way she had been, and it was pissing me off that she’d do something so cruel and heartless. “Damn, Ramona. You’re supposed to be better than this.”

“I messed up, okay! I didn’t… We weren’t thinking—”

“Was this the first time?”

She went quiet.

She shook her head.

Fucking A.

“How long, Ramona?” I asked, not even sure I wanted the answer.

“Not long. Like five weeks.”

“ Five weeks !” I hollered, stunned.

“Gosh, Gabriel. Don’t make it a thing.”

“You made it a thing. Again, you’re fired.”

“Oh, fuck you, Gabriel!” she barked, shoving me in the arm. “Stop acting like you’re so high and mighty.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You think I don’t see it? How you look at her? Sometimes, I walk past Florence Bakery, and I see the two of you in there, laughing it up with one another. And now you’re going around punching her husband. You look at her with stars in your eyes.”

“I don’t look at her in any other way than I look at everyone,” I lied.

“Bullshit. Stop lying. And you know why I can tell that you look at her like you do? Why it’s so clear to me?”

“Why’s that, Ramona?”

“Because,” she choked out. Her eyes teared up and she shook her head. “I’ve been waiting years for you to look at me the way you look at her. So, judge me if you want. Fire me if you need to. I don’t care. But don’t pretend that I’m the only person who caught feelings for a client.”

She began to walk back over to her car and I called out to her. “Ramona.”

“Yes?”

“He’s not the genius you think he is. He’s an asshole, and if he’d do this to his own wife, what do you think he’ll do to you?”

“Well…” She shrugged. “I guess that’s for me to find out on my own.”

As she drove away, I couldn’t help but feel as if she was walking straight into a firepit. It wouldn’t take long for her to get burned.