Chapter 11
HARPER
Zero texts. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
How did I have zero texts at this moment?
Yes, I was meeting my friends at the resort in a bit, that way we could have girl time while Scarlett still kept an eye on the place, however, I didn’t have any other texts.
A slight pang hit me, remembering the random texts that Joshua would send me throughout the day to check in.
Big bro: Have you had your milk yet? You need to be big and strong.
Big bro: When are you going to change my name in your phone? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use the word bro.
Big bro: Are you wearing your sunscreen? You’re paler than I am.
Big bro: I love you, bug.
Big bro: I haven’t had a photo of Lucky in three days. I’m missing my nephew. Send photos.
Big bro: Dorian says hi. I told him to just text you, but he got weird. He’s weirder than you are, and that’s saying something.
Big bro: Take a look at this view. Yes, I’m the co-pilot this time, so I can take a photo through the airplane window as the pilot does his thing. I’m safe. Promise.
Tears slid down my face as I went through the long texts, realizing that he was never going to respond again. What would happen when somebody got his number?
I was afraid to call and have someone pick up. Or to text, and someone say that I had the wrong number. It was odd that life could end so abruptly, and yet memories of it ebbed in waves long afterward.
Because the paperwork and solace of death never truly catapulted into nothingness.
I still had to deal with lawyers and other stacks of papers when it came to Joshua.
I still ended up with emails from his old boss, making sure I was okay.
Though I had a feeling he was also trying to gauge if I was going to sue him.
I would never. And I knew Dorian didn’t have any plans to either. It had been a true accident. And the company had not been at fault. Those maintenance logs were detailed, and it had just been an act of God according to some.
I would like to think that whatever God you believed in wouldn’t want it to be an act on their accounts, but what did I know?
I was just the person left behind.
I set my phone down, as I was afraid I was going to text someone, and maybe not even Joshua.
Because Dorian had not texted me today. Or yesterday. Or the day before.
I had left the next day, my body sore, my heart full to capacity, and he had promised he would get back to me soon. And then he’d needed to focus on a few work things and get through the rigors of rebuilding part of the house.
I’d been up to my eyeballs in baking issues, as well as two wedding cakes for the resort since sometimes the pastry chef for the Cage Lake Resort was a little testy, so I stepped in.
I had been just as busy if not busier than Dorian, and he hadn’t texted.
Of course I should probably text him, but he had been the one to say he would reach out.
Hadn’t he?
I ran my hands over my face and growled.
Lucky yipped at me, and I slid my hands through his fur.
“I am not good at this whole relationship thing. I don’t even know if this is relationship. Can you tell? Lucky? I feel like you should be able to tell.”
He tilted his head at me, and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sorry for putting the burden on you. I know you don’t understand Dorian any more than I do. I barely understand myself at this point.”
With a groan, I slid my phone into my purse, then went to get ready.
We were just having dinner at the restaurant at the resort, but the place was higher end than my living room. Meaning I wanted to look somewhat fancy, just not altogether overdone.
And why hadn’t he called?
I just needed to put Dorian Cage out of my mind for a moment. I didn’t know what was happening between us, other than the fact that we were exclusive. Exclusive to just sex? Or dating? I didn’t know.
This was the point in my life when I realized that I should probably have tried to have a little more experience.
I’d never really had a serious boyfriend.
There hadn’t been anyone in high school that I wanted to spend time with, and I had moved during an inopportune time thanks to my grandparents’ neglect, so making friends had been difficult.
Most of the people in Cage Lake had been here since birth, and they all knew each other.
And while I had known them when I was younger, and now later, that gap had been right during the time of puberty where everything was that much more difficult.
So falling for a boy just really wasn’t in the cards.
And in college I had been working on setting up the business, and there hadn’t been time for falling for anyone.
Not to mention Dorian had been on my mind then as well—even though he had been so far out of the possibility, it wasn’t even funny.
Now I had a situationship or whatever the kids called it these days with Dorian, and I needed to tell somebody.
I couldn’t help but wonder what my brother would have thought of all of this. I cringed as I slid my feet into my shoes, imagining my brother being his overprotective self.
He had loved Dorian like a brother. Of course that made it a little weird.
And he thought Dorian was a great man. He should have been okay with Dorian and I—well, just Dorian and me.
However, I did not understand the male psyche.
For all I knew, he would have decided that he needed to go all caveman and beat the ever-loving crap out of Dorian for daring to touch his sister.
“I really wish you were here to get angry or happy about this,” I pouted.
But no amount of hoping and wishing was going to bring my brother back.
I had to live for the now. Even though I had no idea what that truly meant.
“Okay, you be a good boy, and I promise I will come home early. I’m not spending the night at Dorian’s. Promise.”
Lucky licked my palm, and I smiled.
No, I would not be spending the night at Dorian’s. Because that would require him to actually text me and want to get ahold of me.
Damn that man and everything he stood for.
Or maybe I needed to just calm the hell down.
I grabbed my purse and said goodbye to Lucky one more time, letting the dog mom guilt settle in. I didn’t leave him home often, as I usually took him with me or left him at doggy daycare or with friends. But he could spend a couple of hours on his own. And I would make sure I made up for it later.
I got in my small compact car with amazing tires thanks to Joshua and Hudson because even that Cage wouldn’t let me go around town without taking care of myself. The drive east of town was laidback since Cage Lake wasn’t that large.
I enjoyed the scenic views, and the fact that I knew most of the people walking around.
Yes there were some tourists, but tourists tended to stay at some of the cabins on the lake, rented along the rivers, and against the mountain ridge, or were at the resort itself.
These long winding roads to the resort were for locals.
I pulled into the parking lot and bypassed the valet.
Though Scarlett had told me repeatedly that I was able to just use the valet on her card, I refused.
Then Isabella had said the same thing, and Hudson.
So eventually I was just going to have to give in.
But not now. Now I would just be myself and not rely on Cages or those close to them.
By the time I got into the restaurant, I seemed to be the final one there.
Isabella, Luna, Scarlett, and Ivy had a large table in the corner and waved me over as soon as I walked through.
“Luna! I didn’t know you would be here,” I said as I hugged Scarlett’s twin tightly.
“I wasn’t sure I would make it either, but I’m glad I did. You look amazing. So bright and happy.”
“You do look amazing,” Scarlett said as she narrowed her gaze. “Hmm.”
“Well, I just, I’m glad I’m here,” I sputtered, wondering if I had a sign on my forehead that said ‘recently devirgined by Dorian Cage’s cock and I love it.’
No, that sounded ridiculous. Of course, I was ridiculous, wasn’t I?
“I’m sorry I’m the last one here. I got distracted.”
“You’re not the last one,” Isabella said as she reached forward and squeezed my hand. “However, you just beat Sophia.”
I turned as Isabella’s sister walked forward, a small smile on her face and dark circles under her eyes that she couldn’t quite hide with concealer.
“Sophia!” I said as I hugged the woman close.
“Sorry I’m late. We’re staying at Aston and Blakely’s place by the lake, and I’m still not used to driving on these roads. Even though I’m from Colorado, not living here is a bit different.”
“You should have told me, I would’ve driven you,” Isabella said as she squeezed her sister’s hand.
“No, I’m going to learn it. And honestly, most of this just comes from the guilt of leaving the babies at home. I know that my husband can handle them, but I have mom guilt.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here, and I’m going to need photos,” I teased.
“Hell yes, all the photos,” Ivy said as she reached forward and grabbed the champagne bottle I hadn’t noticed.
“Can you drink? We can get the non-alcoholic bubbly too,” she said before reaching for Sophia’s glass.
“I’m allowed one since I’m not pumping tonight. So yes, give me the champagne,” Sophia said, exhaustion evident in her voice.
“Well that’s it, I’m just going to have to come over tomorrow and steal those nieces of mine,” Isabella said point-blank, and I just sat back and laughed, holding my champagne glass as the two sisters playfully argued.
“We really are okay. I’m just tired. I’m always tired. I mean I was exhausted when I was a dancer with the ballet, but that was a different kind of exhaustion.”
“I can’t believe you were a principal dancer,” I said, trying to imagine Sophia on stage and honestly it was easy. She was so graceful and beautiful. And to be honest, motherhood seemed to make it even more so.
“Looking back at some of those photos, I can’t believe it either.”
“To motherhood, feminism, and finding our path,” Scarlett said as she held up her glass.