Chapter 19 #2
He strode down the corridor until we reached my door, then he leaned back, tightening his hold on my legs while reaching for the doorknob with his hand at my waist. Once he had me back securely in his arms, he crossed over the threshold, and for the first time since we’d married, he entered my room.
He quickly brought me to the bed and deposited me on top of the quilts.
His arms slid out from under me, and I immediately missed his warmth.
Closing my eyes, I said a quick prayer of gratitude for the quality of the mattress beneath me. It could be days before I left it.
I curled into myself, aware that I should’ve taken off my shoes but not caring enough to sit up and do the work.
My fingers went to the back of my bodice.
Breathing was starting to become difficult, and I wanted nothing more than to loosen my corset.
I pulled at the knot hidden just above my skirt and managed to get it undone, but I couldn’t loosen the cords with my bodice on.
There would be a lot more undressing to go before my lungs received any relief.
“I’ll fetch Maren,” David said with an odd quality in his voice. I glanced up at him, and he lowered himself to one knee so he could look me in the eye. “Can you manage on your own for a moment?”
I dropped my hand from my dress. Had I tried to loosen my corset with David in the room? I pushed a hand into my hair and rubbed my scalp. “Of course. I was helping Mama only a few moments ago.”
He nodded but looked uncertain. His eyes flitted to the back of my dress, and I wondered for half a moment if he was considering acting as my lady’s maid.
He would be even worse than Maren. The man probably didn’t know how lacing worked.
A soft chuckle escaped my lips, and his eyes flew back to mine, searching them with a concerned look.
Should I not be laughing? I probably should not be laughing.
He squeezed my hand, then turned and left, leaving the door open behind him.
My clothing was a lost cause without Maren, but I could do something about my hair.
I wasn’t a complete invalid. Not yet, at any rate.
I gritted my teeth against the chill in the air and pulled pin after pin out of my hair.
Maren was still new at styling it, and whenever she was in doubt of a lock holding in place, she added another pin.
Taking my hair down at the end of each day was always a relief.
Most of the pins were resting beside me on the bed by the time Maren arrived. She put a hand on her hip and made a tsk-tsk sound. Her fear from earlier today must have been assuaged. “You’ve managed to catch the fever as well, I see.”
I nodded weakly. For some reason, her near insolence made tears threaten my eyes.
She walked into the room. “We’d better get you resting, then.” She turned to look behind her, and only then did I notice David had followed her back into the room.
Maren turned to David. “At the bottom of the wardrobe, there are extra blankets.” Maren pointed to the lower drawers. “Can you add them to the bed while I help her get undressed? Then we can get her tucked in nicely in almost no time.”
I was too tired to even look up and see David’s reaction. Julia was the only person who knew the truth of our marriage, and aside from improperly asking her employer for help, Maren had no idea she was also asking him to help in a room he’d never set foot inside of before this evening.
His feet shuffled in the corridor. “Shouldn’t I fetch Mrs. Ward to help with that?”
“She and Margaret left half an hour ago to replenish some of the supplies Dr. Clarke wanted us to have on hand. I’m afraid you’ll have to do. I’ve seen you put thatch on a roof, Mr. Tate. I’m certain you can manage the bed.”
He put a hand on the door molding, his eyes not meeting mine. “Perhaps Julia?”
I shook my head. “No, David. Julia isn’t strong. I don’t want her in the room.”
His eyes met mine then, and they had a very specific question written in them.
“But you do want me here?” His words were careful and hesitant, hovering somewhere between a statement and a question.
He looked torn between wanting to run away and scooping me into his arms and wrapping me in blankets himself.
This whole day had been exhausting. Yes, I wanted him here. I’d wanted him here for over a week. “Please.”
He nodded once and took a step inside. Maren raised me to a sitting position on the bed by my elbow.
Before starting to undress me, she padded silently to the door David had absentmindedly left open and closed it.
When she returned, she undid my shoes first, and I slipped out of them.
Then she made quick work of unlacing the bodice of my dress and pulling it up over my head.
I sneaked a glance at David, but his eyes were on the blankets he’d removed from the wardrobe.
Maren pulled at the laces of my corset, releasing my lungs.
I inhaled deeply, but even though my corset was loose, my lungs still felt tight.
Dr. Clarke had said Mama would recover as long as the fever didn’t affect her lungs.
Were mine already affected? I held on to Maren’s shoulders while she pulled me to a standing position.
David took that chance to go to the bed and set down the blankets.
He was careful to keep himself busy positioning each corner of the blankets just right, keeping his attention on the bed while Maren removed my skirt and petticoats.
With only my wide-necked cotton chemise on, the cold air brushed over my bare shoulders and legs, and I started to shiver.
“Sit back down so we can remove your stockings and get you in bed,” Maren said in a matronly voice belying her age. “You’re trembling.”
David had resorted to propping up pillows, but the pillow in his hand dropped to the bed at Maren’s words.
If I didn’t feel so terrible, this whole scene would be extremely comedic.
I could practically sense his panic, caught between wanting to be a gentleman and also wanting to appear as a husband in front of Maren.
I was sick enough not to feel overly concerned about his seeing me in this state.
He was my husband, and I was past caring about anything but the cold.
But for his sake, I invented a task for him.
“David, could you fetch my hairbrush?” I asked.
If he went about that task slowly enough, it should keep him occupied until Maren had my stockings off and I was finally nestled under the blankets.
His spine relaxed, and he gave us a brief nod, moving quickly away from the bed, then slowing as he reached my dressing table.
Maren made quick work of my stockings, and without waiting for any help, I slid my feet underneath the heavy quilt and linens David had pulled back.
Maren put the blankets over me, and I curled into a ball once more.
Immediately, I was overcome by shivering.
“I’ll fetch a basin of water and a towel and be right back,” I heard Maren say, but her voice sounded farther away than it should have been.
“I can fetch them,” David said, his voice nearer than Maren’s.
“Nonsense. Stay with Mrs. Tate. She’d much rather have you. I’ll only be a moment.”
The door closed softly, and David made no noise. My face was toward the windows, and turning to look at him would require me to lose what little warmth had started to fill the small space I’d huddled into.
My body would not stop shaking.
“Anna.” David’s voice was quiet with concern. Something cool pressed against my cheek, and I started. As quickly as it had landed, it was gone. “Sorry,” he mumbled. Only then did I realize it had been the palm of his hand.
I clenched my teeth against the cold and forced myself to roll onto my other side so I could look at him. “I’m—so—cold.”
David fell to his knees at the side of my bed. “What can I do?” His eyes were pleading, and his hands seemed lost between reaching for me and pulling away. He finally settled on rubbing my shoulder through the thick blankets.
“I don’t want you to get sick.”
He shook his head. “I never get sick.”
My head lifted. Could that be true? Everyone gets sick sometimes.
He was probably saying it so I wouldn’t ban him from helping me like I’d banned Julia.
I sent up a silent prayer that he was telling me the truth and locked my painfully dry eyes on his worried ones.
When I was a child, Mama or Papa had stayed in bed with me, their body heat warming the bed and their contact making any pain or discomfort more bearable.
The only thing I could think of that might make me feel better was David’s arms wrapped around me, his warmth heating the blankets my feet couldn’t reach. “Could you . . . hold me?”
David’s hand stilled on my back.
His throat worked and lips parted, but no sound passed through them. If I didn’t feel quite so miserable, I might have taken the chance to tease him.
I shook my head carefully so it wouldn’t hurt worse.
“You don’t have to. It was . . . it is a terrible idea, no matter how nice it sounds.
” I was weary and haggard. I hadn’t even had time to properly clean myself after spending time in the orchard.
If I were in my right mind, I wouldn’t want him anywhere near me while I looked and felt like this. “You might catch the fever.”
I braved the currents of cold air around my legs and turned back toward the window again. I wouldn’t be able to rest with him looking at me. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms tighter around my middle.