Chapter 24
W
“Father saw me come in after I spent the afternoon with Anna. I paid for it. But memories of her make the pain fade, so I cannot regret it. And I will continue to sneak out as often as I can.”
I looked in the mirror quickly and eyed my wardrobe, considering the few evening gowns I had there, but shrugged. Garrett and Julia wouldn’t mind if I came to dinner in a day dress, especially since I’d been so recently ill.
I padded down the silent halls unnoticed.
As I neared the dining room, I heard laughter and paused.
Garrett’s arrival had done something to this home.
He’d brought a cheer with him I hadn’t known was possible here.
Even Julia seemed to be on the verge of laughter more often than not.
It was a beautiful thing. I crept forward with feet even quieter, not wanting to disturb the three siblings.
The door was closed when I got to it, but I didn’t open it.
Not yet. This house needed more laughter in it.
My life needed more laughter in it. And I’d finally found it, thanks to the three people on the other side of this door.
I’d never had siblings before, and David had gifted me with two.
How was I ever going to leave this place?
I wanted to taste the fruit of that orchard ten years from now, when the trees were large and bearing massive crops.
I wanted to hear laughter spilling out from the dining room on a regular basis or, even better, to be a part of that laughter.
I wanted it all, and on paper, it should be mine.
But it never would be.
I took a steadying breath, placed my hand on the door to push it open, but paused when Garrett’s voice lifted above the laughter.
“You know she is in love with you.”
Had they been speaking of me? I did love David, and apparently, I hadn’t been able to hide that during the afternoon, but would they laugh about that? David’s poor wife, who was in love with him? My hand froze. I couldn’t enter the room now. But I also couldn’t make myself walk away.
David must have said something in return, but he mumbled, and I couldn’t make it out. No one had laughed at Garrett’s declaration, at least.
“That is a good thing, man,” Garrett said in response to David’s unintelligible response. “To have a wife who loves you.”
“No, Garrett, it isn’t.” David finally spoke loud enough for me to hear. “And she doesn’t. I mean . . .” He made another sound like a groan. “She isn’t supposed to.”
“Why not?”
I should go in or leave. At any moment, a footman would arrive to bring in more food or clear away plates, and he would find me standing at the door listening.
“You know why not.” David’s voice was firm now. “She can’t stay here. Every day she is here is a risk. And even if it weren’t, I refuse to taint what is so lovely in her with the darkness in me.”
“There is no darkness in you.” Julia’s voice was soft, but she spoke clearly enough for me to hear.
The room was eerily silent after her words until Garrett echoed his sister’s statement. “Julia’s right. There is no darkness in you.”
“It would be a darkness for her.” This was spoken so softly I barely made out the words. And I knew—whatever they’d been laughing about earlier wasn’t because they’d been mocking me. There had been no laughter throughout this conversation. All three of them had been deadly serious.
A noise sounded behind me, and I jumped back from the door. What kind of mistress listened at the doors of her own home?
“Well, what are you waiting for?” A deep and frustrated voice said behind me. “Open the door.” I turned to see which footman would talk to me so brusquely only to step back and gasp.
Lord Murphy stood behind me, frowning with such vehemence.
I checked his hand for a horse whip. Thank the heavens his hands were empty.
I slid back against the wall. He was older now, with more gray hair than the dark brown he’d had eight years ago, but there was no mistaking him.
He was an older version of Garrett, tall and powerful and much too good-looking for the snarl currently occupying his face.
“You must be new here, but I assure you, I am the master of this house. Not David. You will do as I say, and you will do it quickly.”
My breathing hitched, and the light from the oil lamps seemed to darken. Lord Murphy was here. He was here, in Tate Manor, and that meant one very permanent and terrible thing: My marriage to David was about to be over. “I’m—”
“I will not hear excuses.” He interrupted.
“David has been lax in the training of his staff. If I were here, things would be very different. Now, open the door.” I bit my lip and reached for the door handle.
He came up close behind me, and with a sharpness I’d never heard from any of his children, he practically spat his next words at me.
“Change your dress before you return. Patterns should not be worn by servants.”
“I’m not—”
He turned to me, a fire of rage in his eyes, and one of his hands fisted at his side. I opened the door without making another sound.
Lord Murphy strode into the dining room, and all three siblings’ faces dropped.
David’s eyes found mine almost immediately, and I could see a frantic question in them.
I shook my head softly, not sure if he was wondering whether his father knew who I was or if his father had caused me any harm. Either way, the answer was the same.
“Garrett?” Lord Murphy stated with a hint of surprise. “I thought you were at a house party in Kent.”
Garrett’s face was the most serious of all, a frown etched into his face where only smiles had been earlier. “I will be joining the house party late.”
“This is hardly on the way.”
Garrett didn’t say anything to that, but he kept his face and back straight, revealing nothing.
Lord Murphy marched toward the table like a soldier facing an enemy in battle rather than a father joining his children for a meal. “It seems you’ve violated your agreement, Garrett. You haven’t been meeting with Chartists, have you?”
Garrett waved a hand in dismissal. “I gave up that cause long ago. Did you have me followed?”
“No. I came for a different reason.”
“Then it seems you are in violation of our agreement.” Garrett’s voice was as hard as steel.
Lord Murphy snorted. “Do you think I want to be here? I’d rather forget this place exists.
But while visiting the archbishop last night, he happened to congratulate me on adding a daughter to the family.
Although I wouldn’t be so pathetic as to ask the man to which of my sons he was referring, it was fairly easy to deduce it must have been David.
So, David, where is this wife of yours?”
David’s eyebrows furrowed, and both Garrett’s and Julia’s eyes flashed toward me in confusion. The motion wasn’t lost on Lord Murphy. He turned toward me. “Are you still here? I thought I told you to change your clothes.”
My face heated. I had no desire to impress Lord Murphy. I wished him far away from here. His presence had killed all the laughter. But his insistence that I was part of the staff was a humiliation hard to ignore.
Julia lifted her chin. “She is the mistress of this house and has been ill. If she doesn’t feel well enough to dress for dinner, that is her prerogative.” Her voice was steady and flat, like Garrett’s had been.
While I hadn’t been able to eke out a long enough sentence to explain to him I wasn’t a servant, Julia was able to confront him openly. This was a new side to Julia. She was stronger than I knew.
“There is no mistress of this house. There won’t be until Garrett marries.
” Lord Murphy barked, then he turned and looked at me again, this time actually taking the time to examine me.
“That is your wife, David?” Lord Murphy smiled for the first time since I’d seen him.
A laugh that was more like a cackle came out of his mouth.
“I thought she was a maid. Couldn’t you convince a younger woman to marry you?
” Lord Murphy looked David up and down. “I suppose not.”
I had no idea how to respond. David and I hadn’t ever spoken of what I should do if I were to meet his father. I’d thought, foolishly, that perhaps I would never have to. Based on the rage forming behind David’s eyes, it looked as though he’d had the same assumption.
“Get out,” David growled.
“This is my house, David, or have you forgotten?”
David gripped the table in front of him. “Leave this home this instant. You will not spend the night here. You will not spend the evening here. You will leave.”
Lord Murphy tsk-tsked. “I don’t think so. I’ve already had my servants move my belongings into my room.”
That was the noise I’d heard earlier? Lord Murphy’s belongings being brought into the adjoining room? I swallowed down bile as it rose in my throat. He’d most likely dressed in the room while I was still there.
Garrett stood. “I won’t be returning to London with you. Not if you so blatantly ignore our agreement. I’ve been wanting to visit the Americas. I’ve heard the women there find men with titles extremely fascinating.” He forced the words through his teeth.
“Now, now, enough of such talk.” Lord Murphy smiled. “I’d like to formally be introduced to my daughter-in-law—” His eyes grazed over me again. “Now that I know she isn’t a maid.”
“No,” David said.
“You won’t tell me her name? Is her family so lowly you are embarrassed to admit it? You didn’t marry one of the tenant girls, did you? I’ve heard how much time you are spending with them.”
I stepped forward. I didn’t understand half of what was going on, but I was part of this family, even if only temporarily.
If Julia could speak boldly to this man, so could I.
“My name is Anna Atwood. My father was a gentleman, and our family estate was a fine one. I know David thanks to the mutual acquaintance of Mr. and Mrs. Preston.”