Chapter 26
W
“I’m sitting at my desk, watching Anna and Julia plant an orchard through my window. It is moments like these that make me think perhaps there is hope for us. It is moments like these I dream of making Anna my wife, even though on paper, she already is.”
The four of us spent another half an hour planning our escape, and by the time David and I walked back to his room, the sun had fully set.
The corridor, which was typically lit, was dark.
David had closed his door but hadn’t locked it when we left, and now it stood open.
He looked inside. There was just enough light from the moon through the windows for us to see his bed and the other items in his room.
He motioned for me to stay near the door while he searched the room for intruders.
When he was satisfied no one was inside, he pulled me into the room and had me stand against the wall behind his open door.
“I’ll be back in a moment,” he said in a whisper, putting a finger to his lips for me to remain quiet.
He removed his shoes and dashed into the corridor.
I watched him through the crack between the door and the wall as he put his ear to his father’s door and listened.
After a few moments, he must have been satisfied with what he heard since he carefully stepped over to the door of my empty bedchamber.
Once there, he bent low and rolled something under the door and into my locked bedroom. The metallic clinking sound of something rolling across the floorboards broke the silence, and then he was next to me, both of us hidden behind his open door and holding each other in the dark.
Muffled cursing sounded from inside Lord Murphy’s room, followed by banging. Not from the corridor; he was still inside his room, but he was pounding on the door that stood between his and mine.
“Let me in, David. I didn’t even get a chance to introduce myself to your wife.” Another bang sounded as he pounded his fist once again.
I shivered, and David drew me in closer, his lips in my hair quieting me without making a sound.
The pounding happened again, but this time, it was softer, and lacking strength.
More words sounded, but this time, they were too slurred to understand.
The rattling noise David had caused in my room must have roused his father from sleep or from drink, because already, he didn’t sound completely in control of his senses.
After a moment of silence, David slowly pushed his door closed. He pulled a key from his pocket and locked it. “It sounds as though he has been drinking,” he said with relief.
The plan we’d devised in Julia’s bedroom was twofold.
First, we needed to incapacitate Lord Murphy, and then we had to escape without his servants being alerted to our departure.
Years ago, and unbeknownst to Lord Murphy, David had replaced his father’s scotch with a specially made batch that was much stronger than what he was used to drinking every night before bed in London.
We were counting on it being enough to dull his senses and deepen his sleep.
“Should we go tell Garrett and Julia?” I whispered near his ear.
He shook his head. “Not yet. If I know my father, he had another glass after I disturbed him. In another hour, he should be even more incapacitated by it.”
“Until then, we wait?”
He nodded. “Quietly.”
The room was dark, save for the scant bits of moonlight, and there was no chance he would light a candle. Nor did I want him to.
My arms went around him, and I held him tightly. Now that the planning was done, I allowed myself to start processing everything I’d learned. When one of my breaths made a strange racking noise, David pulled away and studied my face in the shadows.
He put a thumb to the corner of my mouth. “You aren’t feeling sorry for me, are you? Because that doesn’t make a husband feel good about himself.”
I shook my head. “No,” I managed to eke out, but my voice was too weak to be believable.
He pulled me back into his arms, and I breathed him in. “Julia and I have done very well the past few years. We’ve been happy, and now we are going to leave. We’ll be even happier with you.”
I sniffed. “And Garrett?”
“You heard him.” He leaned back so he could look me in the eye. “He handles Father well. At least, that is what he tells us. He lives two lives in London. He has friends there who know who he truly is, and with them, I believe he can be happy too.”
“And the rest of London?”
A slow smile spread on his lips, and he smoothed my hair on the sides of my head. “He says he doesn’t care about the rest of London.”
I drew in a shaky breath. “Well then, will you allow me to feel sorry for the younger David? The one I didn’t know was hurting?”
“No.” David wrapped his arms back around me. “Not for him either. Because he found you.”
I shook, my throat trying but not succeeding in holding back a strangled sob, and even though I tried so hard to keep them at bay, tears slid from my eyes. “I don’t think that makes up for all those scars.”
He pressed a soft kiss to my temple. “On that point, we will have to disagree.”
I nodded into his collarbone, even though he was being completely ridiculous.
It wasn’t as though I could ignore the pain I’d just witnessed.
No one could see that and not be hurt by it.
“I can’t be bright and happy right now. I can’t.
I’ve tried so hard to remain that cheerful young lady you met when I was seventeen, but this .
. .” I had no choice but to feel his hurt as deeply as my heart was capable.
“Do you think you were always happy that summer?”
I sniffed. Isn’t that what he’d said? “I don’t know. I thought that was how you remembered me. I’ve been trying so hard to live up to who I was then, but I simply can’t do it. Not right now.”
“No. Anna, no.” He placed a kiss just below each of my eyes, letting my tears stain his lips.
“You brought light into my life because you were braver than anyone I’d ever met.
You left songs in your wake, even though everyone who heard them knew you couldn’t sing.
” His thumb finished the job of drying my cheeks.
“You had the audacity to knock on the doors of some of the gruffest of my father’s tenants, leaving them baskets filled with foods like fairy cakes and berries.
You held Charlotte as she panted her last breaths.
You taught me to live when all I’d been doing up until that point was hiding.
I’m in awe that a woman who lived her life like that could love me.
And I’m grateful.” His voice faltered for the briefest moment before he continued.
“I’m so overwhelmingly grateful you do because I don’t think anyone else would be brave enough to see my world and then plead to be let in it. ”
I opened my mouth, but I didn’t have any words to say. Not a single one.
David looked at me in concern, led me to the bed, and made me sit. “You’re still recovering from your fever.” He bent at the waist and dropped another kiss on my forehead. “You should rest.”
I reached for his arm, not willing to let him move away from me after everything he’d just said.
My mind was reeling, and I wanted nothing more than to touch him, hold him, and show him how deeply his words had seared my soul.
Before he had the chance to stand up straight, I placed a hand on his forehead, still feeling as though I needed an excuse to touch him.
And he thought I was brave? “You haven’t felt sick? ” I asked.
He let out a shaky laugh. “Unfortunately not.”
I tried to imagine our mad dash into the night with a very sick David. “Unfortunately?”
He nodded. “I recall some very specific promises were made about how you would care for me if I did fall ill.”
“Ah.” I closed my eyes, remembering the feel of his weight settling onto my bed, his chest warm upon my back. I slid my hand from his forehead to his cheek. “On second thought, you do feel rather warm.”
David leaned closer to me, tipping his head so it rested in my hand. “I have been feeling under the weather, now that you mention it.”
“You should rest,” I said, motioning to the empty space on the bed next to where I sat.
He nodded. The bed dipped beneath him, and he turned to face me.
He looked the same, his eyes still a soft blue, his skin clear and smooth over the planes of his face, just as it had been before, but I saw him differently.
We’d been dancing around issues for weeks, and even though I’d thought I knew him and even thought I’d loved him before, what I felt now was deeper.
My love earlier had been selfish. I’d wanted David in my life for the happiness he brought me.
Now, more than anything, I wanted to fill his world with joy.
I reached for one of his hands and cupped it in both of mine, tracing the base of his palm and wrist with my fingertips. I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every movement in the dim light.
With a reminder to myself that I was the brave young lady he’d once known, I found the button on his cuff and undid it.
Lifting his sleeve slowly, I pulled it past his elbow and found the first scar I’d touched.
It was nearer to his elbow than his wrist, and the skin was lighter than the rest of his arm.
I slid a finger softly over it. The skin was surprisingly soft.
David flinched, but he didn’t pull away.
“I’m not sure I can bear you touching them.”