8. Fallon
Chapter eight
Fallon
“Can you hug me again?” I ask Jeb through sobs. I think we both need it more than we know. We’ve been skirting around each other all afternoon. He hasn’t said why he chose today to apologize, and I haven’t asked.
“If you want a hug,” he says, not stepping toward me as he stands above me.
“I do.”
“Do you want me to come down there?” he asks sheepishly, like he’s making sure he’s taking the right cues.
“Yes, Jeb.” I almost forget why I’m crying in the first place with how nervous he is. About everything. I really do feel bad for the man, but right now, his hesitation makes me chuckle inside. “Do you know what to do?”
He sinks to his knees, giving me the stiffest, coldest hug possible. I squeeze him a little tighter, more for him than for me. I’m crying over old memories, but this man just said he wishes he was dead.
“Give me a better hug, Jeb,” I tell him. “I’m not going to bite.”
“I shouldn’t be here,” he says, then sniffles. “I shouldn’t be touching his girl when he’s not here to do it. It’s not fair. It’s not right.”
My heart breaks for this man. He’s way worse than his mom had made him seem. Maybe they don’t know just how bad…
I rest my cheek on his shoulder, my face turned away from his. “Have you tried seeing a therapist?” I ask.
“Yes, twice a week, but it used to be more. I can’t stop the thoughts I have in my head. No matter the techniques Dr. June teaches me. And now she wants me to see someone else instead.” His shoulders slump. “I think I’m supposed to be punished.”
Punished for an accident that wasn’t his fault? Because his medication caused him to have a seizure? No one could have predicted that.
“Do you have plans tomorrow evening, Jeb?” Corbin’s voice cuts through the hall, but he doesn’t emerge. I’m positive he peeked around and saw us crying and hugging. Corbin might be the relaxed, happy-go-lucky guy he is, but he still knows how to read a room. And Jeb and I need a good cry right now.
“No,” he answers, his voice shaky.
“Okay, I’ll see you at five thirty to unload all this stuff. Fallon can give you her new address. I’ll have beer, but you can bring pizza. I like pepperoni and sausage. Both. Not one or the other.”
“Okay,” Jeb mumbles.
“See ya, Corbin. Thanks,” I yell.
“See ya, girl. I left a box of chocolates and a thing of bubble bath from Mom on the table. She said you might need it tonight.” My mom and dad were invited to my aunt’s side of the family for Easter, so Corbin and I decided today was a good enough day as ever to tackle a move and skip unnecessary family time with the extended cousins.
The front door slams shut, and I’m the first to break away from the abnormally long hug Jeb and I were having.
“Thanks for helping today,” I say, standing and leaving Jeb on the floor.
“No need to thank me, Fallon. I’m sorry I showed up uninvited. I’m sorry for everything. I really, really am.”
“Did you have a plan when you knocked on the door earlier, or were you just winging it?”
“Just winging it. I assumed you would slam it in my face. But all I was going to do was apologize. Then I find out you’re moving…” He trails off, looking lost. “I’ve basically uprooted your entire life.”
“Stand up,” I tell him gently. “I won’t lie. My life has been uprooted since the accident. But I’m finally feeling ready to move forward. I can’t move forward in a house that Rhett built. A house that smells like him. But you didn’t uproot my life. The accident and his death did, but you didn’t.”
“There would be no accident if it weren’t for me,” he whispers, his breath wisping across my neck.
“Agree to disagree, Jeb. I’ll see you tomorrow, and this time, don’t throw up in my flowerbed. I have a bubble bath and chocolates calling my name.”
“I’m sorry again, Fallon,” he says at the front door. I wonder if he’ll show up tomorrow, and if he does, how many times he’ll apologize. Probably at least a dozen.