Chapter 78 Kane
KANE
The person I need to kill to get to Helene is Delilah’s other fucking sister. Scarlet’s here with the little girl she was on the phone with while I hide in the bathroom like a bitch. How the fuck do I keep my wife after she finds out I tried to murder one sister and I’m going to kill the other?
I run the cold water to wash my face, but my limp sleeve falls into the flow, yet again reminding me my hand isn’t fucking there. It’s horribly ironic that I needed pain to survive without Delilah, yet now I have an abundance of it, I still can’t cope.
The voices downstairs turn to a hushed murmur.
“Scarlet’s telling them how you tried to kill her and fucked it up.”
“I’m going to lose her again,” I whisper as I stare into the mirror, directly at Asher.
“Not if you kill everyone in the house.”
“There’s a little fucking girl here.”
“So? You let Kid die to have more time with her. What’s one more?”
“That’s not—”
“Kane?” Delilah says softly as she knocks on the door.
Leaving my reflection, I quickly pull her inside. “Tell me you love me.”
“I love you.” She doesn’t even pause. “Who were you talking to?”
“No one. Working through the plan.” I close the door, wrapping my arm around her as my wet sleeve drips on the tile. Resting my forehead on hers, I whisper, “I’ve missed you. I spent all this time imagining what I’d do when I saw you again, but now you’re in front of me, I’m scared to blink.”
“You wrote your name on my leg,” she whispers.
“I needed you to know it was me.” I nod, brushing my nose against hers. “I was going to find you, no matter what it took, Delilah.”
Do I tell her how much blood is on my hands?
She slips her arms around my waist and presses her cheek to my chest, hugging me so tightly I can finally breathe.
There’s no question mark about where she is because she’s in front of me with my lips firmly on her crown, her heart beating against mine, her limbs trembling as her body begins to crave the drugs.
“Do you have something for the pain?” she whispers.
“No,” I lie. I’m not going to give my wife ketamine, watch her navigate a K-hole, then throw up on herself. “You’re not taking that shit again.”
Her arms loosen around me, but I push my weight forward, trapping her against the door. “Don’t argue with me. I’ve lost three fucking years of you. If you think I’m losing more while you inject yourself into an early grave, you’re fucking deluded.”
“It’s medicine.”
“For?” I challenge.
“My leg,” she says slowly, pushing her leg out when the sweats cover the scars.
“Look at me.” I wait for her to lift her chin. “Do you know what comes with addiction? The ability to perfect a lie. You were already good at it before, but I won’t believe anything you say until you’re clean.”
“I am not dirty.” Her eyes harden, making them appear more sunken in as she digs her fingers into my ribs.
“Okay, poor choice of wording,” I admit. “Until you’re sober. When there aren’t any chemicals clouding your mind and you learn how to stop your veins burning.”
She stills then laughs bitterly. There’s no sweet tone I love as she pushes against my chest. “Fuck you, Kane. Or Asher. Or Ghost.” She pushes again, hard enough for me to stumble back.
“Whatever the fuck your name is. You don’t know shit about me when you haven’t fucking been here for the last three years.
So when I say it’s medicine, it fucking is. ”
“You know shit about me? Do you know what those years did to me? No. Do you know what the fuck I’ve had to do to keep you safe? And what the fuck have you done?”
“Nothing!” She pushes harder against me.
“I have never done anything to you. My parents? Yes, I pissed them off by not being their perfect prostitute. Asher? Who fucking knows when he was wired wrong. Helene? Killed her sadistic grandson. Rowan? Nothing. Simply existing meant everyone could hurt me. You do not get to fucking play this comparison game with me. Not after everything I’ve lost.”
“Delilah. Shut the fuck up.”
“I told you so,” Asher singsongs. “If you tell her about Kid, she’ll only use it against you.”
She opens her mouth, ready to spew whatever comment her anger has formed.
Slamming my hand over her lips, I lean into her.
“Shut. Up. We’re not doing this again. We’re not going to argue about everything then feel like shit when we’ve already had too much taken from us.
So shut up before you say something you can’t take back. ”
There’s a loud knock on the door as my failed murder attempt says, “Kane. Open the door.”
Delilah smugly waits, knowing she has the protection of her sisters. If she just stopped for a second, she’d realize it proves I’m right. Little baby Leroux has her sisters ready to defend her. Who the fuck do I have?
“You have me,” Asher pipes up.
Shut the fuck up.
“Ruby’s strict about everyone sitting together when we eat,” Scarlet says, forcing me to let go of Delilah’s face. “I’d get out before Seraphim gets hungry.”
She’s acting normal. Maybe she hit her head when she slammed on the brakes. Fuck, I hope so.
“This is why we need reflections,” Asher says as I step back.
But my wife has bitterness clinging to her as she cruelly whispers, “You weren’t worth the pain of loving you.” She pulls the door open, walking her smug ass ahead as looks at me over her shoulder.
The last time she had the comfort of her sisters, she was a child.
I was still obsessed with her, but they thought it was cute.
They’d tease me about following her everywhere, anything that they could.
Now, I meekly follow behind them as guilt weighs me down.
I don’t even allow my steps to make a sound on our route into the kitchen with her fucking words echoing in my head, replacing Asher’s taunting.
You weren’t worth the pain of loving you.
A little boy sits on the middle of the table with the teenager as they fight with cutlery, pretending they’re swords. Without turning from the stove, Ruby says, “Put them down before you hurt yourselves.”
I assume the little boy is hers considering she was pregnant the last time I saw her.
He looks old enough. It makes everything more real.
When it was just me and Sasha, I didn’t feel time moving.
We were stuck doing the same shit, collecting more numbers, making stupid bets about what we’d do when he hit milestones.
While I was counting milestone kills, Ruby was watching her son achieve his.
The girl has Scarlet’s personality, no filter or care about offending people as she openly stares at my empty sleeve while Scarlet stands beside the table.
I know she hasn’t forgotten when she looks at me with that hard stare she’d give me as a child when Asher would fuck something up and I’d try to lie for him. “Kane. Sit down. We’ll catch up.”
Fuck!
No one is any the wiser though, so I sit beside my wife as the little boy stares at us like we’re aliens.
Scarlet digs her elbow into my ribs as she takes her seat at the end of the booth, only softening as she looks at her nephew who slowly puts his thumb in his mouth.
Lowering her voice as Ruby cooks with her partner, she slides a small foil-wrapped chocolate to him. “Don’t let your momma see.”
I don’t look at her as I ask, “I thought we had to be here because Ruby had a strict schedule?”
Her eyes are cold as fuck, matching her voice. “We all think a lot of things about people that aren’t true.”
She’s going to kill me.
Thankfully, the teenager saves me. “Auntie Scar, want to see the tricks I taught Lamby?”
“Let’s go, diva.” She swings the boy up onto her hip, following her niece outside. Niece, not daughter. I could have fucking killed her without an issue.
I could run—I should run—but Delilah’s tired. She itches the inside of her wrists, drawing blood in the deep red lines marking her skin. I cover them to help her, but she acts like a fucking asshole, pulling her hand away so fast she ends up hurting herself.
“She knows what those hands have done,” Asher whispers directly in my ear.
“Are you okay?” Ruby asks, stepping around Daigon to check on her baby sister.
“I’m fine,” Delilah says weakly. “Actually, no. My body aches. Do you have anything?”
“No,” I snap.
She glares at me, but I don’t give a fuck, doing it back so she knows there’s no winning.
Ruby stares with a crease between her brows as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Why can’t she have anything for her pain?”
“Because she’s an addict,” I say.
While my wife rages, punching me in the thigh. “No, I’m not. Hasn’t your family done enough? Now you’re lying after keeping my sisters away from me.” She looks at her sister. “Do you know everything he’s done? Or the lies he told you and Scarlet so you’d never speak to me again?”
Ruby narrows her eyes at me but I ignore her as I scoff, “I’m lying? Roll your sleeves up, show everyone your track marks.”
“Fuck you, Kane. Why don’t you go back to your own family instead of running after mine?
” She’s still glaring at me. “Or you can’t, can you?
Because they don’t fucking want you. Your mom didn’t, your dad didn’t, your cunt of a grandmother doesn’t.
Everyone wants Asher.” It’s her need for the chemicals, but she doesn’t look away from me as she says, “So do I.”
“Delilah,” Ruby says in the usual soft tone like my heart hasn’t been demolished.
“What?” Delilah snaps. “I’m not a kid anymore. I’m an adult who’s been through shit and you might be a mother, but you’re not fucking mine.”
Daigon steps forward from his viewing corner where he was pretending to stir a pot. “Watch—”
“You’re right.” Ruby raises her hand. “I’m not your mother, so don’t curse in my house.
And, if what Kane said is true, I’m not going to enable you out of guilt when it will only destroy your life further.
So roll your sleeves up or don’t. Talk or don’t.
It’s your choice. Bringing their shit into my house where my children play, sleep, and live will not be tolerated. ”
I can’t do this bullshit family reunion thing or I’ll fucking kill myself. Looking at Daigon, I ask, “Where’s the island?”
“Firstly, you’re both rude.” Flicking his unnerving purple eyes to my left arm, he smirks. “Secondly, are you planning on swimming there with one arm?”
Ruby soundlessly steps into his path to create a barrier. He doesn’t push her out of the way or scold her, he simply holds her hip as he calmly says, “You’re both going to be quiet, sit here while you’re fed, then you’re going to thank my wife for cooking for you. When that’s done, you can leave.”
“Daigon.” She looks up at him. “They can’t leave.”
“Who told you about this place?” he asks.
I find out what an angry Ruby looks like when I take the bloodied card from my pocket.
She was always calm, like a swan effortlessly gliding on top of the water.
Now her eyes are filled with hate, so much it reminds me of her mother.
Yet she still sounds the same as she takes the card from me. “The Wards?”
“We’re moving,” Daigon says. “Did they give you anything else?”
I shake my head as he looks at my arm again.
“You met Lucille?” he asks, laughing. “If you bring her to my door, that stump will be the only thing left of you.”
The front door is still open, allowing the girl’s voice through as she screams, “Dad!”
Followed by Scarlet’s fear-filled shout, “Daigon! Help!”
If looks could kill, I’d be written out of existence with the murder aimed at me as Ruby and Daigon rush out of the house.
“DAD!” their daughter screams again as Scarlet shouts, “Move back!”