Chapter 5
Sophie
It had been a few weeks of back and forth between our lawyers before the papers were finally signed.
I spent those days at Pops’ house, where he kept me protected from wagging tongues.
We would go on day trips, checking out different cul-de-sacs in new neighborhoods.
Pops knew how badly I needed to get some distance from Max, Natalia, and Helen.
It was in the lovely suburban town of St. Matthews that I finally found the place where I could start over. The two-story house had everything we needed. The main floor was open, and the kitchen led right into the living room, so I could see Lou no matter what area she was in.
The fenced-in backyard was just big enough that my daughter could run around as she got older, but small enough that I could maintain it on my own. It was in a great school district and within walking distance to Cherokee Park. I put an offer down after the first tour.
Finally ready to move out and move on from all things Max, the only holdups were the squabbles back and forth regarding an NDA. Carmichael was insistent that I not sign one.
“Helen is going to use it as a gag order. She’s going to tank your reputation to make her family come out on top.”
“But what do I do, then? How much longer are they going to drag this out?” I was frustrated to the point that I would have signed the document if it weren’t for my lawyer.
“Just hang in there, Sophie. Have some trust in this old man. I’ve added an addendum that should satisfy Helen.
It basically states that you will not share any of the photographs taken during this time to the press.
” I rolled my eyes. I wanted nothing to do with those pictures. One look had been enough to haunt me.
“To be clear, though, this addendum states that only you cannot share them. That doesn’t mean an outside source with access to the photos could misplace them.” A wicked grin spread across Brian’s face, and Walt patted him on the back.
“Well done, Brian. Alright, Sophie, my dear, let’s talk about furniture for you and Lou.
I was talking to Madeline, and she mentioned they have cribs that convert into toddler beds.
I thought that might be a great option for Lou’s room.
” Pops was bound and determined to keep my spirits high, to stay with Lou and me.
I wished I were stronger, better prepared, so I didn’t need to rely on him to get away from Max and Helen. But I wasn’t, and I didn’t have the resources to play dirty, which I knew they would try to do.
Being camped out in Pops’ house, avoiding my husband, his mother, and his girlfriend while caring for an infant, was exhausting on every level. I was ready to climb the walls. To say it was a relief once the papers were signed was an understatement.
There were still several months until everything was processed.
Before I was fully free. Maybe that’s why Helen felt it was a good time to see me off in person.
Under the guise of picking up the final paperwork on Max’s behalf, she cornered me in the living room while Pops was on a call in his office.
“You were never good enough for Max, for this family. When my son met you, I told him you were a bad fit. But instead, he took you in, defended your lack of education, and … rural upbringing to our friends and family. But just like the ill-mannered hick you are, it was never enough. No, you had to go ahead and drive an even bigger wedge between Max and his grandfather. Haven’t you taken enough from him?
You ruined his chance to marry Natalia, you’ve saddled him with a baby he has to support for the next two decades, and for what? ”
It wasn’t my finest moment, but I was so done with the woman that I couldn’t keep it together.
“Helen, just because you’re a vile, greedy trollop who thinks she’s getting away with it, doesn’t mean the rest of us need to stoop to your level.
It’s time to stop projecting your issues onto me.
Where’s Natalia? She seems like a great person to swap stories with.
You two have so much in common, after all. ”
“How dare you!” She balked.
Her self-righteousness was laughable. She was such a fucking hypocrite, it was making me crazy.
Helen took a step toward me, pointing a long, manicured nail in my face, and I lost it.
I grabbed her wrist, and she let out a gasp.
I was enjoying her fear, the feel of her thin, papery skin under my hand.
“You stay in your lane, and I’ll stay in mine—the one where I actually give a shit about people and am capable of parenting my own child. Don’t you have some charity ball you need to be at? Can’t let the people know what a vapid shrew you truly are.”
She reared back as if to slap me, but Carmichael appeared out of nowhere, quickly stepping between us.
“The papers were signed less than twenty-four hours ago, and you’re already violating part of the agreement.
You are not to have any direct discussion with my client.
Now, I’m going to escort you out of here.
If I find out you have tried to contact Sophie, I don’t care if it’s over the phone, email, or a message in a bottle.
One more word from you, and I’ll have that restraining order filed in court and in the tabloids.
” Pursing her lips, Helen shot me a withering look.
“Trailer trash.” She spat her last dig at me under her breath as she pushed past me before storming out of the house.
I was given primary custody of Lou, something I was eternally grateful for. I knew a court would take one look at Max’s family and assume she was better off with him. I didn’t trust him to take care of our daughter the way she needed, the way she deserved.
Outsourcing responsibilities to a nanny or housekeeper was Max’s preferred method of parenting.
That being said, I wasn’t going to stand in the way of him having a relationship with his daughter if that was what he wanted.
He got one weekend a month, and we were expected to split holidays between us; Helen demanded it so they could parade Lou around at social events, already rewriting history.
She was making sure Max played the part of the doting parent to their advantage.
I could only imagine what they told people about me those first few times when I didn’t accompany Lou.
How I had abandoned the family, forcing Max to step up as a single father.
It paved the way for Natalia to take her spot by Max’s side.
Supporting her dear friend, she would be the one to mend the rip in the broken family that I left behind.
Less than a few months after the divorce was finalized, they announced their engagement.
They insisted Lou attend their large engagement party, Natalia eager to play the role of doting stepmother.
I didn’t feel it was appropriate for me to attend, and let Max take Lou for the night.
It was the first time we had been apart since she was born.
Even though he was allowed to have her overnight at that point, my ex had found reasons to cancel any visits up until then. Lou was only twenty months old.
I was still very protective of my baby girl.
I barely slept a wink, staring at my phone all night, waiting for a phone call, checking social media for glimpses of my baby, desperate to get confirmation she was okay.
All of the photos that came through were glossy, posed.
Natalia holding my darling girl, surrounded by Max and Helen.
Doubt crept in as I studied the photos, the picture-perfect family looking back at me.
I spent the night sobbing, wondering if I had done the right thing, if Lou would be better off with them.
My hands shook as I drove to my old house the following morning, eager to get my girl. As soon as I put the car in park, the front door opened, and an annoyed-looking Natalia practically shoved Lou toward me, dropping the diaper bag I had left with her onto the gravel.
“She hasn’t stopped crying all night. You need to teach her better manners.” I clutched Lou to my chest, her red face and glassy eyes eating at me.
“What is the matter with you? If a baby is crying, that means something is wrong. Can’t you tell that she needs a diaper change?
When did you feed her last? And how late did you keep her at that party?
I told Max she had to be in bed by eight at the latest!
” I snapped, and Natalia’s face turned ugly.
“The nanny took her home from the party early. She fed her and put her to bed. I don’t know what time, though. That’s not my job,” she replied, affronted at the suggestion.
“Not your job? What the fuck does that mean? You’re supposed to be her stepmother. That fucking implies you take basic steps to take care of her.”
“How dare you talk to me like that!” she said, stepping forward.
“Go home! Mommy home!” My daughter cried, and I took a breath, trying to calm myself.
“Come on, baby girl. Let’s go visit Pops, then we can go home. How does that sound?”
“You’re really gonna run to Walter about this? Why do you have to drag him into everything? She’s fine! Kids cry,” Natalia argued, her eyes angry.
“Home! Go home!” Eloise wailed. I was done.
I turned on my heel and headed for the car, not waiting to see what Natalia would do.
Once Lou was secure in her car seat, I drove the short distance to Pops’ house.
The guard at the front gate must have seen something on my face, because he buzzed me in without question, and Pops was waiting out front when I got there.
“What did they do?” he asked, reaching into the back for Lou before I was even around the car.
“I need to get Lou settled. Then we can talk.” Together, we got her cleaned up and changed.
She ate an enormous amount of food—something both Pops and I watched with forced smiles.
He disappeared to make some calls as I went to put Lou down for a much-needed nap.
It took reading her favorite story three times before she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.
When I got back downstairs, Carmichael was there, and I headed straight for him.
“She’s not staying alone with them ever again. I don’t care what event it is. I don’t care if it’s their goddamn wedding day. My child is not there without me. I will have them investigated by CPS.”
“Sophie, come on. You’re overreacting. It was her first time staying with us.” Max’s voice drifted out of the device that sat between Carmichael and Pops. I hadn’t realized he was on the phone when I walked in, but his response only reaffirmed what I was saying.
“That is no excuse. You weren’t even there when I picked Lou up. You don’t know the state she was in,” I replied, furious at his blind acceptance of whatever bullshit Natalia had told him.
“Goddamnit, Sophie, why do you have to make everything so difficult?” His voice was filled with frustration.
“That’s enough,” Pops interjected, his temper clearly rising.
“I have to agree that Lou was in a dangerous state after leaving your house. If you doubt this, feel free to check the footage from your ring camera. I already have, and it’s clear neither you nor Natalia is prepared for actual parenthood.
Any events going forward where you would like Eloise present, Sophie will accompany her.
Additionally, you will never be alone with Lou for more than an hour, and never overnight,” Pops declared.
I could almost hear Max grinding his teeth.
“Let me talk to Nat and get back to you.”
“There’s nothing to get back to us about. This is what’s happening. Carmichael is already making the custody revisions, and you will sign them. Otherwise, I personally will call CPS on you and your darling fiancé,” Pops replied, and I sagged into a chair.
“Fine.” Without so much as a goodbye or question regarding his daughter’s well-being, Max disconnected the call.
That was how the next few years progressed. I was dragged to all major family events so Max and Nat could pose with Lou, playing doting parents while I supervised to make sure she was actually taken care of. I hated every moment of it, but I would do whatever it took to keep my girl safe.
I always had a good relationship with both my parents, and had hoped that, as Lou got older, Max would step up and take that relationship seriously.
It didn’t appear that way, and Nat never seemed to connect with her.
The resentment was there, palpable in person.
Lou was the one thing I still had over Natalia, and she hated me for it.
I selfishly wondered why she didn’t have a child of her own, thinking that would release Lou and I from the facade, but it never happened. Neither Max nor Nat seemed inclined to have more kids, or to do anything with the one child they technically had.
Under their noses, Lou was growing, her personality shining. My beautiful, funny, energetic girl was a gift they took for granted. I hated agreeing to any sort of custody with Max. The few hours we were sucked back into that toxicity always set me back emotionally and mentally.
Leaving Max, starting over as a single parent to Eloise, wasn’t easy, but it was the best decision I had ever made.
I never would have managed to get through the divorce without Pops.
Five years later, and he was still a constant presence in our life, his love and devotion for Lou so pure that it humbled me.
That he constantly had to go to bat for me against his family was something I hated, though.
It was a constant source of guilt and shame.
Between Pops and me, Lou was never alone with Max, Natalia, or Helen.
It was a thorn in my side, and despite all the precautions we took, they still managed to make co-parenting a nightmare.
Every holiday or weekend that Lou was supposed to spend with Max seemed to fall on some sort of event.
Visits to my family suffered as I had to spend those weekends hiding in the shadows, keeping an eye on my girl. It was my penance, the price I had to pay to be free of them in my everyday life. It made my life with Eloise that much more precious, our moments together that much more important.
I would do whatever I could to make sure my daughter didn’t suffer because of her father’s sins and my poor decisions.