Chapter 32
Lincoln
A month after we got back from Nebraska, things had finally gotten back to normal. Sophie and I were both back at work, and I still got my afternoons with Lou. The visit was successful on multiple levels. Sophie and Lou both lit up at the farm. Versions of them I didn’t know existed came out.
Not to mention meeting Sophie’s parents was wonderful.
It was an illuminating experience to meet her parents and see the place they had worked so hard to build and sustain.
Their love for each other, their partnership, was inspiring.
It meant a lot to me that I was able to get her father’s permission.
My plans for a proposal were in the works, and I was so nervous, I felt like I could throw up.
Anyone who ever said that proposing was easy was a liar.
Or maybe they just didn’t have as much at stake as I did. This wasn’t just about Sophie and me; Lou had to come first. For too long, she had spent time as an accessory or an afterthought. I wouldn’t allow that to continue any longer.
Having finally gotten all my ducks in a row in terms of proposal plans, I just had one important conversation to have before I popped the question.
Sitting Lou down one afternoon when it was just us, I was struck by nerves.
Clearing my throat, I looked at the little girl who had me wrapped around her finger since the first moment she came bounding into my world.
“Remember when we first met, and you asked if you could ride in the firetruck?”
“Yeah. Why? Are we going?” She turned her expression warring between excitement and confusion.
“Not today, but I’m working on it, because when I promise you something, I want you to know that I mean it.” I watched her as I spoke, trying to make sure I was expressing myself in a way she could understand.
“You always keep your promises. It’s the best,” Lou replied softly, and I smiled down at her.
“One last thing, then I’ll get to the fun part. I just want you to know that I love you and I never want to let you down.“ I was surprised at the lump in my throat and the tears burning my eyes as Lou reached out and hugged me, her big green eyes watching me seriously.
“I love you too. What’s the surprise, though? I already know you love us,” she replied softly, and giggled as I pressed a kiss to her head. Holding her close, I took a moment to enjoy the connection between us, marveling at how much love I had for this girl.
“Well, I have a big surprise planned for your mommy, but I wanted to run it by you first. If you like the idea, I was hoping you could help me.
“I love surprises! I can keep a secret, too.” She mimed zipping her lips closed, and I laughed.
“That’s good because this is very important. I want to ask your mom if she will marry me. Would you be alright with that?” I asked, and was only slightly embarrassed at how anxious I was awaiting her response.
“So you’ll be Mommy’s husband?” Lou asked, her brows furrowing as she worked something out.
“Yes, ma’am,” I told her. She looked up, pausing nervously.
“Does that mean you’ll be my dad? Like, officially, for real for real?”
“In my heart, you’re already my daughter.
I was built to be your daddy, Lou. I will spend every day protecting you.
I’ll be there to hold you when you’re scared, and make you laugh when you’re sad.
I want to be there for all the days, the good and the bad, as long as we’re together.
I love you, Lou. More than the biggest teddy bear at the fair.
" I smiled down at her, and then her small arms were wrapping around my neck again.
“I can’t wait for you to marry Mommy,” she whispered, and I heard the tremble in her voice. I wasn’t ashamed to admit a tear or three may have escaped.
“I’m going to need your help. You’re the queen of fun, after all. Think you can give me some tips?” I asked. She almost leapt out of her chair.
“Really? Yes! What about balloons! Oh, and cupcakes! And we can have everyone jump out and surprise her!” Lou rambled off, her ideas echoing many of my sentiments.
“That sounds like a good plan.” We discussed more options for the proposal while Lou finished her snack. After cleaning up, I turned to my small sidekick.
“I’ve got an errand to run. Do you mind coming along?” I asked.
“What about my homework?” she asked, even as she rushed to the entryway where her shoes and jacket were.
“We’ll be back in time to work on it. I think your mom is going out with Auntie Quinn tonight, so we can pick up pizza for dinner too.” Yes, I had bribed my sister to take Sophie out so Lou and I could have more than enough time to accomplish all the items on my list.
It was the most important quest of my life. I wasn’t going to start my promise with some half-assed gesture. This was the start of the rest of our lives together as a family, officially.
The drive was quick. Lou filled the trip with endless questions and ideas for the wedding.
“What if at the party you had one of those, um—oh! A disco light that has different colors like pink and purple! And maybe we can have ice cream with a table full of different toppings! Like rainbow AND chocolate sprinkles!” Before I could think of a reply, she was onto another topic.
“What are you gonna get on the cake? I like the Avengers, but Mommy will want a princess one,” she added, her focus solely on the menu now.
Pulling into the small parking lot that most people would miss, Lou arched out of her booster seat, trying to figure out where we were.
Before she could ask any questions, I hopped out of the car and rushed over to her side. Already out of her seatbelt, she was waiting for me to open the door and help her down.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, scrunching her nose the same way her mom did whenever she didn’t like something.
“You’ll see. C’mon.” I smiled when she grabbed my hand. Together, we walked through the door that led into the small family-run jewelry store that had existed there for four generations.
“Mr. Carson! We’ve been waiting for you.” Carmella, the owner, greeted me warmly as I walked in.
“Hey, Carm. This is Lou, the one I told you about.” I picked her up, and Lou tucked her face into my neck, shy under Carmella’s attention.
Carmella was in her late fifties, or possibly seventies—I couldn’t really tell.
My father had been going there for years, and I never considered going elsewhere.
In bold blue eyeshadow and with hair that almost reached the ceiling, she smiled warmly at Lou and me.
“Oh, my! I’m so happy to meet you, Lou. Can I call you that? I’ve heard so much about you!” Carmella gushed, and Lou started looking up.
“You can call me Lou. I like your nails,” she said, pointing to Carmella’s long Barbie pink nails.
“You’ve got good taste. So, did Daddy tell you why you’re here?” she asked, and Lou nodded her head, not dismissing the daddy title.
“He has a beautiful ring for your mom. It belonged to his grandma, and we made sure it would fit your mom perfectly. Your dad, though… He’s been really nervous.
He wanted you to have the final say. Make sure it’s good enough for your mom.
Do you wanna see it?” Lou looked between the two of us, her face flushing with excitement.
“Really? I can help?” she asked, and I nodded.
“Of course. No one knows your mom better than you. I absolutely need your help. Think you’re up for it?
” I tugged on her ponytail, somehow already slipping to the side despite the fact that I helped her style it that morning.
We had pulled it into a high ponytail, making sure it was top and center before braiding it so she looked like Rumi from K-Pop demon hunters.
Carmella had disappeared during my conversation with Lou, reappearing with a wooden box and a velvet tray.
With flair and a slowness that had me sweating, she opened the box, but kept the contents hidden.
Then, gently, she laid out my grandmother’s ring—the one I had resized.
Next to it was the custom wedding band I had picked out to match both the engagement ring and Sophie’s style.
“Wow. That looks like a fairy princess ring!” Lu breathed, leaning up on her elbows to stare at the ring closer while bouncing around in my arms excitedly.
“Do you want to hold it?” Carmella asked, rolling her lips in to stop herself from laughing at Lou’s over-the-top response.
“Can I? “ she asked, her head looking between the two of us. As soon as we nodded, she held her small hand out. Pulling the velvet tray below Lou’s trembling palm, she slipped the ring onto her pointer finger. Far too big, Carmella held it in place so Lou could examine it.
“It’s so pretty. Mommy is gonna love it. It looks like the earrings from Great-grandma Eloise. Mama wears them for every holiday. They’re her favorite.” I smiled at Lou’s rambling, her attention to detail never ceasing to surprise and amaze me.
“So you approve? I asked. She nodded so fast I was afraid she was going to give herself whiplash.
“Well, you heard the boss. Sounds like we’ve got the greenlight,” I told Carmella on a laugh as I saw how excited Lou was.
“Congratulations! A beautiful ring for a beautiful family,” she replied. Her wide smile was infectious.
“And about that other… thing we talked about?” I asked as my heart rate increased. This part was even more nerve-wracking.
“Of course. I have it right here. Can I take it out?” she asked, looking between Lou and me.
“Yes. I think now’s a good time.” I winked at Carmella, who busied herself for a minute as I turned to Lou.
“I know you said you were okay with your mom and me getting married.” I paused, Lou’s little face looking up at me with so much hope and wariness. Determined not to fuck this up, I cleared my throat, focusing all my attention on her.
“I have a question I want to ask you. Will you be my family? Will you take me as your stepdad? That means coaching sports, chaperoning dances, and embarrassing you on dates. So maybe you should take a minute to think about it,” I joked, trying to ignore the tightness in my chest and the nervous energy rushing through my body.
Before I could freak out any further, Lou launched herself against my chest, wrapping her arms around me.
“We’re already family, silly,” she said, kissing me on the cheek just as a light went off. Carmella was standing behind the counter, her phone aimed at us as a tear streaked down her face.
“I’m sorry. It was so sweet. I just thought your wife might want to see it,” she said, looking at me nervously.
“Send it to me. You have my number. Thank you, Carmella. For everything,” I told her. She nodded at me, her fingers moving swiftly across her phone before she tucked it away. Back to business, she went back to the forgotten box that sat on the counter.
Lifting the lid, she pulled out a necklace. It was a similar design to Sophie’s ring, but smaller.
“So you can match. So you both know how important you are to me,” I told Lou. She looked at me with big eyes. Her small hand reached out to touch the necklace, hovering just above it.
“This is gonna be the best proposal ever,” she yelled, and the entire store erupted into laughter and cheers.
“Now, there’s just one thing left to talk about,” I told her, using a mock stern voice.
“Ice cream?” she asked, looking at me hopefully.
“We can add that to the list as well,” I told her, unable to say no to anything she asked me at that moment.
After ice cream, as we sat on a picnic bench eating our treats, I watched in awe as Lou got just as much on her shirt as she did in her belly. But she was happy, so I didn’t care. Clearing my throat, I turned to face my pint-sized sidekick.
“So, about that ride in the truck…” Lou froze, her face awestruck.
“How would you like to finally do that…”