10. Dario
CHAPTER 10
Dario
Yet again I find myself begging the question, ‘what was I thinking?’
In the moment, I let Lochlan convince me that this insanity might actually be a good idea. He was so convincing when he was talking about how a little white lie could go a long way to helping my family believe that I’m doing okay now, and they don’t need to keep smothering me with their anxiety. I’m all for that.
But now Lochlan and his dog are in my car with my dog as I drive us all to my parents’ house, and it’s hit me that this whole scheme is, in fact, horrendous.
There’s no way I’m going to get through this without anyone figuring out we’re just faking it. More importantly, there’s no way I’m going to get through this without Lochlan realizing that I’m absolutely bananas about him. Like, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and fantasizing about him before. Now he’s pretending to be my boyfriend and going to be holding my hand in front of my whole damn family?
Not to mention that I don’t trust anyone to remember to call me Dario. Why should they? It’s my own stupidity that led to me having to change my name. But when Lochlan discovers I’ve been lying to him this whole time…
Yeah. Titanic-level disaster waiting to happen on so many levels.
Lochlan might say he’s cool with me being gay and has a lot of queer friends and all that, but how is he going to react when he figures out I’m lusting after him like a teenager with his first crush? It feels like such a betrayal, especially after he’s been so incredibly kind to me. He’s giving up his own Thanksgiving, for crying out loud. In his mind, he’s just being a good friend. He has no idea how I really feel.
Because to be honest, I’ve got very little clue, either. I know I like him a hell of a lot. But after Shane, the idea of dating anyone scares the shit out of me, no matter how nice they appear. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel able to let another man close to me like that again.
Except when I imagine Lochlan Bell stripping my clothes off and sucking my cock, nothing else seems to matter.
“Shit!” I’m so lost in my thoughts that I almost miss the light turning red. Luckily, I notice just in time and slam on the brakes. “Sorry, sorry! Is everyone okay?”
I glance at Lochlan in my passenger seat, then in the rearview mirror where Rocky and Queenie are both on their hind legs, looking up over the back seat from the trunk.
“We’re fine,” Lochlan says with a chuckle. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I reply automatically with a tight smile.
Lochlan, the bastard, unfortunately continues showing what a great friend he is by sympathetically reaching out and squeezing my knee. It’s a really sweet gesture, but at the same time, the touch makes my skin feel like it’s on fire and my cock aches in my jeans, imagining him sliding his hand up higher.
Christ, it’s been too long since I had sex. The prospect of a random Grindr hookup isn’t appealing at all to me. The idea of trusting someone I know with my body is terrifying, let alone a stranger. But maybe it’ll be necessary if I’m going to prevent myself doing something monumentally stupid in front of Lochlan.
He breaks the spell that’s fallen over me by removing his hand, thank goodness. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, his tone gentle. “You seem tense. Are you worried about seeing your family?”
I am, but not in the way he’s thinking. I’m worried how they’re going to react to him. If I’m going to break my mom’s heart when she realizes I tricked everybody. Or if by some miracle she doesn’t sus it out, will I upset her when Lochlan and I ‘break up’?
The light goes green, and I pull off, paying better attention to the road this time. We’re not too far from the house. I just need to get us there in one piece.
“Not worried,” I say truthfully. “They can just be a bit overwhelming. Hopefully when we get there, they’ll see I’m doing okay and stop stressing over me, so that will chill me out as well.”
“You’re doing better than okay,” Lochlan says fiercely, and my heart melts for him a little more. He leaps to my defense all the time without even thinking about it. It’s so adorable. “You’re doing awesome, and they’ll realize that in no time. You just concentrate on getting us there and then we can relax.”
If only. I’m driving us back this evening, so I won’t be able to have a drink to stop my brain from whirring. But perhaps I’ll stand a better chance of not confessing all my dirty thoughts to Lochlan if I’m stone cold sober. So that’s a silver lining, I guess.
I’ve also just realized that I can maybe wave off any confusion about my name by saying that I decided to start going by my middle name in college or something, and no one ever remembers that at home. Yeah. That could work. No big deal.
Okay, that’s one disaster possibly averted.
“Thank you again for doing this,” I say quietly. “I know it’s a bit weird, but I do think it could actually help.”
He scoffs. “Of course, dude! I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t seriously think it could ease things up for you. Just think of me a social lubricant.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from having an aneurysm. I don’t need to be picturing anything easing up with lube right now.
“Not many people would be open to a scheme like this,” I manage to say without choking on my own spit. “If it works, I’ll owe you big time.”
“Naw,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m sure a day filled with home cooking and good company will even us out just fine. Although maybe you should let me know if there are any relatives I should avoid for whatever reason.”
I laugh, wondering if ‘all of them’ is an acceptable answer and if I should simply turn the car around right now. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m more concerned about. If they’re all going to be suspicious of him…or that they’re all going to love the crap out of him and get too attached.
“Nobody has extreme politics or bad body odor that I’m aware of,” I say, pulling into a street a few blocks away from the house. “My tio Miguel might try and talk you into investing in Bitcoin, but my abuela can usually distract him when he gets bad with her chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies.”
“Duly noted,” Lochlan says, sounding like he’s taking his role very seriously. Of course he is. I suspect that Lochlan is physically incapable of letting anyone down, ever. “Hoping I can also get in on that cookie action, though, if I’m charming enough.”
He arches a questioning eyebrow at me, making me laugh and temporarily forget all my worries. He’s got such a talent for that, I swear. “Don’t be surprised if we’re greeted at the door with baked goods, iced tea, and about a hundred hugs.”
“Oh no, how terrible,” Lochlan deadpans, making me snort.
When we near my parents’ place, I can see that the driveway is already overflowing with cars, and I groan slightly as I envision who’s already arrived. It’s going to be fine, I remind myself sternly. I love my family. I only agreed to this harebrained scheme because I thought it might give them some comfort. And we only have to stay a few hours. I’ll soon be back in my quiet little house.
Alone.
No, not alone. I’ll have Queenie. She’s also here to assure my family that I’m not all by myself and that I’m moving on with my life in all kinds of good ways.
After I find a space to park along the sidewalk, I look in the rearview mirror at the excitable pups watching us. “Are you guys ready for the carnage?” I ask in the same tone of voice I use when asking if Queenie wants a walk or a treat. In other words, I’m hyping her up to distract myself from all my niggling worries.
It sort of works. Kind of.
The sounds of barking and whining and paws hitting against the window of my trunk certainly leave little room for contemplating anything else. Plus, Lochlan’s booming laugh warms my insides from top to toe.
“Easy, guys!” he says with a grin as he unbuckles and opens the passenger side door. “Remember all those manners you’ve been learning in class, please! We’re on a mission to impress everyone today.”
I hover on the sidewalk, watching as he opens the trunk and gets both dogs to wait, sit, and give him their paws in exchange for treats, just like we learned from our training sessions. I know I’m trying to keep a lid on my crush here, but it’s impossible for my heart not to ache with longing as I watch this big, muscular firefighter use baby talk as he gently lifts each dog down to place them on the ground, holding their leashes delicately so they don’t strain and choke themselves.
“Thanks,” I say softly as I take Queenie from him and lock the car.
This silly infatuation will fade, I’m sure. And when it does, I’ll be grateful that this kind and handsome man chose to spend today with me. I want to enjoy the moment and not get lost in all my trivial woes, and that starts now.
Or at least, it’ll start once the initial introductions are done. I give myself permission to fret until then. But after that, I promise myself that I’ll appreciate getting to spend time with my family as well as Lochlan.
We don’t have much stuff with us, but he did insist that we stop at a gas station so he could pick up a bunch of flowers for my mom, because ‘that’s just what you do,’ apparently. So, he cradles them in his arm like a baby, Rocky’s leash in the other hand, then follows me as we approach the house. Queenie’s corkscrew tail is wagging, and I smile down at her before pressing the bell.
“Good girl,” I murmur soothingly. To think, a few weeks ago, she was sad and alone in that shelter cage. Now she’s about to meet a whole bunch of slightly crazy people.
The door swings open, and you’d think from the way my mom almost bursts into tears that I’d been deployed for two years rather than only moved out last month.
“Mijo!” she cries, dragging me into a hug. “I was getting worried! Was the drive okay? Come in, come in!” She ushers me over the threshold then clasps her hands to her chest. “And this handsome young man must be Lochlan. We’re delighted to have you here.”
“The honor’s all mine, ma’am,” Lochlan says brightly, holding out the flowers. “These are for you.”
Mamá lets out a soft sound as she takes them carefully from him. “Oh, Dario. What a gentleman your friend is. Lochlan, these are beautiful. And please, call me Alicia.”
Okay, so Mamá does seem to have remembered to use my new name. That’s a good start.
“Dario said freesias are your favorite,” Lochlan tells her bashfully, clearly pleased that my mom likes him already. “And that you’re a keen gardener.”
“They are, and I am!” she says gleefully, closing the door behind him. “Let’s put these in some water and I can show you outside. Dinner isn’t ready just yet, so we have some time. Dario’s father is in charge of the kitchen today.”
“So it’s a good thing we have a firefighter in the house,” a new voice says, and I turn happily to see my tia Gaby sashaying down the hall to meet us. In each hand she has a lime green drink in glasses with salted rims. “Julio’s sure to burn the house down any second.”
“Oh, hush,” Mamá says with a laugh. “Lochlan, this is my baby sister, Gabriella. Gaby, this is Dario’s friend, Lochlan.”
My tia presses one of the drinks into Lochlan’s free hand, her kohl-lined eyes dragging up and down his body very obviously. “Hot stuff, kid,” she practically purrs at me.
“Aww, thank you,” Lochlan says, clearly not bothered by my outrageous aunt ogling him.
“Gaby,” I groan, mortified. “Please be nice.”
“I’m always nice, Dario,” she says with a smirk, giving me the second drink. Well, she could be more subtle about it. But so far, I’m two-for-two on the name.
“Oh, no thanks, I’m driving,” I say, assuming it’s one of the deceptively strong margaritas she likes to make at family gatherings.
Mamá frowns at me. “No,” she says firmly, wagging a finger. “You’re not going to sneak off after a couple of hours. You’re staying the night. I’ve already made up all the guest beds. Otherwise, I’ll have washed the sheets for nothing!”
Panic grips me and I glance at Lochlan. But I should have known he’d take this all in his stride. I guess a man who faces danger every time he clocks in for work wouldn’t be fazed by a family who struggles to remember what boundaries are.
“Aww, you shouldn’t have gone to all that trouble, Alicia,” he says warmly.
“It was no trouble,” she tells him before looking back at me. “But it will be if nobody sleeps in them.”
“You’re not escaping,” Gaby says to me with an arched eyebrow. “So you might as well accept it.”
“We haven’t packed to stay overnight,” I protest weakly.
Again, Mamá waves off my concerns. “We have spare toothbrushes. Please, Mig-mijo. We’ve missed you. I promise, you can head home after breakfast tomorrow.”
I bite my lower lip and look to Lochlan for guidance. He gives me an easy one-armed shrug and sips his drink. He doesn’t seem to have noticed my mom’s almost slip-up, either.
“As long as you’ve got something for the dogs to eat as well as the humans, Alicia, I don’t see a problem with it.”
“Yes, yes, lots of tasty chicken for these babies,” Mamá assures him, crouching down to fuss over Rocky, who immediately explodes at the attention, jumping and licking and barking. “Aww, aren’t you a darling. And this must be Queenie!” she says, extending her hand to fuss my dog as well. “Such gorgeous babies. Yes, you are!”
I take a second and weigh everything up. The whole point of this rouse was to prove to my family that they don’t need to worry so much. Maybe if I run off like I’d planned, they’ll keep fretting. But if we give them all day and tomorrow morning, they might really believe that I’m in a stable relationship with a nice guy who can take care of me when they can’t.
Despite all my protests about how I just want my independence, that does actually sound so nice. But we’re not dating for real, so I shove that thought down and try to forget about it.
Practically speaking, I know I’ve got a charger in my car that is compatible with both my phone and Lochlan’s. What else do we really need? We can wear the same clothes for the drive back without it being too much of an issue.
And Mamá said she’d made up the beds. Plural. It’s not that my mom is prudish, it’s more that she’s respectful. Separating us when we’ve only just started dating (as far as she thinks) not only makes sense in her eyes, but it works in our favor since we’re very much not dating, and it would probably be super weird for Lochlan to sleep next to another guy.
To make sure, I catch his gaze and raise my eyebrows questioningly at him while my mom and tia coo at our dogs. He nods but also quirks his eyebrows back at me, asking the same question.
It appears that he’s okay with it if I am. That’s settled then. Go big or go home, I guess. Literally. Time to perform the hell out of this charade.
At least it won’t be hard for me to fake being besotted. Hopefully, Lochlan will just think I’m a great actor.
I sigh. “Okay, then,” I concede, taking a sip of the margarita that is indeed rocket fuel. I do my best not to splutter as the first taste of tequila goes down. “You win. We’ll stay.”
“Perfect!” Mamá cries, clapping her hands as she stands back up, making both the dogs bark. “Everyone’s in the yard. We should join them.”
“Is it escape proof?” I immediately ask in concern. But then I shake my hand as well as my head. “It’s okay, I’ll go check. I know what to look for. Queenie probably won’t try anything, but Rocky’s a wannabe Houdini. We can keep them on their leashes until I’ve done an inspection.”
“Good thinking, baby!” Lochlan says, the term of endearment rolling so naturally off his tongue my heart flips before I can remember it’s only make-believe.
My mom loops her arm through mine and sweeps me off to the back yard via the kitchen. I notice Gaby hanging back with Lochlan, but that’s okay. I trust him, and despite her over-the-top nature, Gaby is actually great. He’s going to be talking with plenty of my relatives, I’m sure, so I need to relax and trust that I don’t need to hover.
Like he’d need my protection from anything.
Regardless, I tell myself that the hard part is done. We’re here, and no one is instantly pointing fingers and yelling that we’re frauds. Mamá isn’t even telling people that Lochlan is my boyfriend. Sure, the way she says ‘friend’ has heavy implications, but it’s technically the truth. It won’t hurt if people jump to the slightly wrong conclusion. In fact, that’s kind of exactly the plan.
So that’s it. The rest of the visit should get easier from here.
Right?