Chapter Fifteen
We’ll meet you back at the house,” my mother tells me, the adult party still going on behind her—raucous laughter can be heard across the expanse. Her eyes are glassy, and she has an easy smile that only a few too many glasses of champagne can produce.
“Happy birthday, my girl,” Dad says, kissing my forehead. “You guys have fun. Don’t keep Magda up all night. We’ll see you in the morning.”
Although the party isn’t officially over, many of the hellions are departing. It’s not even midnight. I don’t mind. We’re leaving too. It’s an agreement I made with my mother when we planned this. That I get this one thing.
“Ready?” Gavin asks, his toga barely hanging on, the spear long lost. His sway lets me know he’s had a few too many of something as well.
“You’re not coming,” I tell him. “This is my tradition with my friends.”
He laughs like I’m cute and said something funny. “I’m coming.”
Before I can argue, Jonathan and Collin approach with Jaz and Darcy, the girls’ hands clutched and their shoulders brushing. I smile. “Have fun?”
“Ready to have more fun,” Jaz replies.
“You coming too?” Collin asks Gavin.
“No,” I say at the same time Gavin answers, “Yes.”
“Cool. I’ll drive. You can’t,” Collin responds, continuing toward the valets. Gavin joins him while the girls linger behind us, whispering to each other.
“Where’s Danika?” I scan the stream of demons, devils and tortured dead walking past us, bypassing the valets to return to their cars parked along the street. My classmates probably had no idea how to use the valet service.
As if she could hear me asking about her, Danika comes storming toward us, her tail whipping violently behind her.
“Let’s get out of here,” she says, irritation rolling off her like fog.
“Is Oren—” Jonathan begins to ask.
“No,” she cuts him off sharply. “He’s going to Livvy’s. Guess she’s having an after-party. Tempted everyone with a keg.”
“We’re leaving too.” I try to soothe her.
“I’m not offended or anything.” I’m being honest. My parties are alcohol-free.
But I still saw a few flasks being tipped into cups tonight.
It’s harder to get away with it with their parents upstairs, so if they really need to drink, then Livvy’s after-party is perfect for them.
I’m leaving with the people I care about. That’s all that matters to me.
“It’s not the point,” Danika says with a huff, walking with us to the short valet line.
“He should want to be with me. Every other second of my life, he doesn’t give me an inch of space.
But tonight’s my best friend’s birthday.
I wanted him to be a part of this. And now he decides he doesn’t want to interrupt my girl time. ”
Jonathan looks as confused as I am. Danika recognizes our expressions. “I know! I tried telling him. Whatever. Why do I even put up with his shit?”
I wrap my arm, lost in billows of white chiffon, around her black-vinyl-covered waist and rest my head on her shoulder. She leans her head against mine. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t want to ruin your birthday with my drama. I’ll be excited again by the time we get to your house.”
Jonathan offers a small smile. “Guys can be dumbasses. Especially when it comes to girls.”
I smile back. “How do you know?”
“Because I can be that dumbass.” I release a surprised laugh. He quirks one side of his mouth up in an abashed smile. “I’m learning.”
“I’ll give you CliffsNotes so you don’t screw it up with our girl,” Danika tells him, squeezing me around the shoulders. “Like… how to use a phone.”
I pull back and gawk at Danika. Jonathan laughs, which shocks me.
“Yeah. I’m sorry about that.”
I swallow.
“Give me the ticket,” Danika demands She plucks it from between Jonathan’s fingers when he offers it to her. Danika walks directly toward the valet she winked at earlier, cutting the line.
“I realize I’m not great with calling,” Jonathan confesses. “Or answering.”
I don’t say anything. What could I possibly say? Yeah. You suck at it. And my heart pays every time.
“I really am sorry. I hate disappointing you. But avoiding hearing it in your voice won’t make it better.”
“Maybe stop disappointing her,” Darcy chirps from behind him. I glance around his arm and see Jaz putting a hand over Darcy’s mouth with a startled look of apology.
“That was unexpectedly honest,” I say to Jonathan—inspired by Darcy’s lack of filter.
“Isn’t that what tonight’s all about? I just… got a head start.” He pulls me into his arms. “I’ll do better.”
Istare into my brother’s blue eyes, certain I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. I pull the heavy faux-fur blanket tighter around me and nestle into the circular couch surrounding the crackling firepit Magda prepared for our arrival.
The rest of my friends are inside, waiting their turn to gift me their birthday truth. My brother insisted on being first. That’s not a surprise. He’s had to be first at everything since the day he was born.
For my eleventh birthday, Bridget and Melanie—my friends at the time—and I played Truth or Dare. Then it became Three Truths and a Lie with Jaz and Darcy our freshman year. Only Collin and Jonathan have been here for every iteration.
The last two birthdays, it’s become Just Truth.
A secret only I get to hear. They choose to volunteer a truth, or I can ask a question.
It’s their birthday gift to me. Danika joining our group last year was the best present.
She thinks we should confess all together to allow the truth to bond us.
I’m not ready to be that vulnerable. The guys aren’t either.
“I want to tell you a truth,” Gavin says, shifting his eyes away from me. He’s nervous. Very much not like my brother. I wait, practically holding my breath. He glances up. “I miss being here. Being away at college is harder than I thought it’d be.”
I search his face, knowing he’s skirting the real truth. He sighs dramatically.
“Fine. I miss you, okay?” He says it like it’s a tortured confession. But… he’s not lying. I can read him pretty well. I’ve had a lifetime of practice.
“Why? You always hated being around me when you lived here.”
“It wasn’t always like that,” he says. It’s true.
There were times when we were both in middle school when we’d have marathon movie nights, our stomachs aching from too much candy and popcorn.
And others when he’d force his way into playing with me and the boys in the backyard despite my protests.
We had… fun. It feels so long ago. Too long.
“You can come home more, if you want,” I offer, my tone gentle.
He shrugs it off and stands. “Happy birthday.” He stalks back toward the house. I watch after him in confusion. He doesn’t make sense. I don’t remember the last time I truly understood my brother, especially after everything he put Danika through the year and a half they dated.
Danika didn’t tell me the full details. She didn’t want to be the reason I hated my brother. I promised that wasn’t possible—I already despised him, while still loving him. It’s a dizzying dichotomy.
But from the little she revealed, I learned he’d criticize every little thing about her—from her hair to how her clothes fit. He’d make offhanded comments that sent her into a spiral of self-criticism. She never felt good enough for him. I promised he was lucky to even know her name.
Darcy is next and shares a secret. She recently found out she’s adopted. I’m not exactly surprised, considering she looks nothing like the rest of her family. But she’s apparently very surprised by this news. “I want to know why my birth parents gave me up,” she confesses.
“Does it bother you? I mean, I know how much your family loves you.” There’s not much in this world that dims Darcy’s shine, but a shadow troubles her bright eyes.
“It’s hard to think about them and not wonder why they couldn’t love me.”
My heart aches with this truth. “Maybe they gifted you to your parents because they do love you.” A tight hug is needed in this moment, and she’s smiling again by the time we let go.
Jaz allows me to ask her a question.
“Was it hard, coming out to your parents?”
“Nope,” she replies coolly. “They actually laughed and said they were happy I finally figured it out. I mean, it’s not like I was denying it. They just knew before I did. So, it wasn’t a big deal.”
I can’t help but love her more. I wish I could know myself with as much confidence.
Collin declares that he’s in love with his best friend. I punch him in the arm, so he proceeds to confess his real truth. The day Jonathan and I first kissed, he didn’t have to help his grandfather. Jonathan asked him if he could be alone with me. My cheeks become hotter than the fire.
I can barely look at Jonathan when he sits across from me. But I reach for the courage that I barely have a grasp on and blurt, “I’d like to ask a question.”
Jonathan has already started speaking. “I lu—what?”
I blink. He stares back at me, just as stunned.
“Go ahead,” he says, encouraging me to ask the question that’s been slicing up my insides. Now I wish I’d heard his truth. Too late.
“Did your father give you that cut on your lip?” It’s a small cut on the inner lip, as if caused by a tooth or a ring. I probably wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t felt it when we kissed.
Jonathan’s shoulders sink with a deep exhale. I wait. And just when I think he’s not going to answer, he does.
“Yes.”
My chest tightens. “I think I saw when it happened.”
His brows rise.
“We came by the haunted house. I saw you and your dad arguing…”
“That was you?”
I nod. He swallows.
“He looked really angry,” I continue. “So did you.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed him.”
“Has he hurt you before?”
I stay connected with his troubled gaze. I know he wants to look away. Honestly, so do I. Seeing the truth is hard.
“Danika!” a deep voice bellows within the dark. Jonathan stands and turns toward the voice coming from the side of the house. “Danika!”