19. Cheerleader, Not Savior
Cheerleader, Not Savior
Mina
H ave you ever messed up so badly that you don’t know if you can fix it?
I have to reapply my makeup three more times before I leave for dinner with Bitsy and Leo. The tears keep winning, no matter how hard I fight.
I hurt Braden. Badly. Which is something I never wanted to do.
But he doesn’t understand that I could lose everything—every chance, every shred of my dancing life.
I don’t know anything else. Just brewing coffee. Ringing up book orders.
I spent my whole life as a dancer, and now it’s right there.
Even worse? Instead of reassuring him I have no intention of reconciling with Leo, I shut down.
I’ve always been like that, hiding away until the storm passes.
And the anger in Braden’s eyes when he called himself a place card in my life damn near broke me.
I’ve called him a million times, but he’s not answering.
Hell, I’m not sure what I’d say if he did pick up. Plead my case? Apologize? Grovel? Likely a combination of all three .
Braden thinks I’m just like my rich family, but I’m not. I’m not like him either. Sadly, I don’t belong anywhere, and the loneliness is a weight I’ve carried my entire life.
I arrive in town with a half hour to spare. Perfect. I hope I can track Braden down at Black Lotus and make amends before having to sit through dinner with a viper.
Does he really think I don’t know who Bitsy is? That I’m not aware of how ridiculous her life of privileged elegance appears to people on the outside?
I get it. Boy, do I get it. But she holds my future in her hands, and the least I can do is hear her out.
Maybe it won’t be that bad. Or maybe it will ruin everything. Somehow, I feel like I’m going to lose no matter which path I take.
I glance around the parking lot and sigh. No sign of his motorcycle.
Damn it.
I walk into One More Page and head for Ori’s office. Maybe she knows where he’s hiding.
“Can I come in?” I knock gently on the door before peeking inside.
Ori leans back in her chair, her hand idly rubbing her belly. “You look nice.”
I smooth the skirt and shrug. “I’m going to dinner.”
She nods, peering at me over her glasses. “So, I heard. Let me guess—you’re looking for Braden.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“He dropped by about twenty minutes ago, spoke with Zane. I know they’re going out later, but I don’t know where.” She releases a long sigh. “He was really upset, Mina.”
Tears fill my eyes again, and I blink them away. I do not have the strength to fix my face again. “I never meant to hurt him.”
Ori fixes me with her dark gaze as she taps a pen against the desk. “Well… you did. ”
I love and hate my friend in equal measure right now. Ori doesn’t sugarcoat things, and she knows I’ve fucked up. She won’t let me run from it, which is exactly what I want to do.
“You know,” she continues. “I was terrified that Braden would hurt you, but I had it all wrong. He’s done everything you asked of him this entire time. He deserved better than that.”
I pace her small office, the anger rising inside of me.
“I know what an amazing man Braden is, and I appreciate everything he’s done for me.
But it’s not that simple. The whole reason Braden and I pretended to be together in the first place was for me to secure the studio.
Now, I’ll lose it if I don’t play Bitsy’s game.
Ori, I dedicated my entire life to dance, and I don’t want to lose my only chance. ”
So much for not crying.
Ori grabs a tissue and walks over, gently blotting my cheeks with a rueful smile. “I get that, too. But you blindsided Braden with this dinner. He told me what happened that weekend, how your aunt produced some photos of him with another woman, and he took the fall.”
I take the tissue and wipe my eyes. “She was awful to him. He told me to stay and smooth things over, but there was no way I could after she treated him.”
“Your aunt didn’t just treat Braden poorly. She’s treating you poorly, too, and you’re allowing it. The thing is, you deserve better than her conditional love and approval.”
“But that’s the way it is with Bitsy.” I raise my hands in resignation. “Everything in my world has always come with a list of qualifiers. All I want is to dance and be with Braden, and chances are, I’ll get neither.”
Ori pulls me into a hug. “I love you, and I want to see you happy. Just remember, those who truly love you will only ever want what’s best for you. No conditions are necessary. Now, dry your eyes and get to your dinner. ”
But I have one more question to ask my best friend. “Does he hate me?”
Ori shakes her head. “No, he wants you to succeed. To be happy. He just realizes now that it won’t be with him.”
I can do this. I can do this.
What the fuck am I doing?
Bitsy and Leo pull up just as I do, and we share a stilted embrace before walking toward the restaurant.
But I grind to a halt when I spy a familiar figure leaning against his motorcycle.
Braden.
He watches me as I approach, his arms crossed over his chest, his face a sea of calm.
Good for him, because I’m a damn mess.
I clutch my bag to my chest as my heart threatens to explode. “Braden.”
“What are you doing here?” Bitsy hisses, not bothering to hide her disgust.
Braden smirks and rolls his eyes, clearly unbothered by my aunt’s question. “Last time I checked, this is a public street and that,” he nods toward the sidewalk, “is a public sidewalk.”
“You were not invited, Mr. Hammond.” My aunt sends a scathing glare toward his motorcycle. “Interesting mode of transportation.”
“Isn’t she a beauty? You should try riding sometime, Bitsy. Might do you some good.”
“Never in a million years would I be caught riding on that… thing.” She waves her hand toward it dismissively. “Come on, Leo, Mina. Don’t want to be late. ”
Braden jerks his chin toward me. “Go ahead. She’ll be along in a minute.”
Bitsy grabs my elbow, fixing me with her stare. “Mina, tell him goodnight.”
“Christ, lady, I’m not kidnapping her. I’m going to speak to her for two minutes, and then I have plans of my own.”
“You do?” I ask, not sure I want to know where Braden is heading next.
Braden pushes off the bike with a lazy roll of his shoulders, like the entire night’s been one long joke. “Yeah. Pool, beers, hoodlum-type shit.”
Leo snickers, finally entering the conversation. “Sounds like a good time to me.”
“That’s the plan. Leo, give me a minute, okay?”
Leo nods. “No problem. See you inside, Mina.”
He leads my aunt away, no doubt preparing for the earful she’s going to give him inside.
But I’m more concerned about what the gorgeous man in front of me is about to say.
“Do you hate me?” I finally manage, my voice small and uncertain.
Braden walks toward me, placing a finger under my chin and tipping my face up to meet his gaze. “I could never hate you. Not in a million years.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the dinner.” I motion to the restaurant, desperate to climb on the back of his bike and ride away into the night.
If he asks me to, I will.
He doesn’t.
“That’s not why I’m here, either.”
“Are you here to rescue me?”
Please say yes, and I’ll never doubt anything again.
But he shakes his head and breaks my heart. “You don’t need anyone to rescue you, Mina. You’re strong, smart, and your ideas for the dance studio are phenomenal. Now get in there and tell them your proposal. Own it, because you are more than worthy.”
God, I love this man so much. Despite everything, he still shows up for me. No one has ever done that for me before.
I swipe a stray tear from my cheek. “Or I can say screw it and leave with you.”
“Nah, that’s not a good idea.”
And with that, my heart cracks a bit more. “Why not?”
“I’m not here to talk you out of your plan. I’m here to give you a much-needed pep talk and let you know I’m still your cheerleader, and I’ll be in your corner.”
“How are you so perfect?”
He offers a weak smile as he drags a hand through his hair. “I’m not, trust me. Earlier, I got angry about all this, but I realized I had no right. This was always the plan. This was the agreement.”
Shit, this is not going well.
“Braden, wait?—”
He places his fingers across my lips. “Hey, you better get inside. Don’t give Bitsy any more ammo tonight.”
I’m about to retort when his phone rings.
Braden answers, laughing at someone on the other end. “Jesus, give me a minute. I’ll be right there. Yeah, order me some food. Thanks.”
I fiddle with my purse. “Where are you going?”
Braden grabs his helmet. “Meeting some people at the bar. I need to blow off some steam. Now go and have a good time. You got this.”
I shift my weight from one foot to the other. Am I stalling? Of course, because I don’t want him riding off to some other woman’s arms, even if I deserve it. “Are you coming home tonight?”
He shoots me a strange look. “Where else would I go? Don’t wait up or anything. I’ll probably be late.”
Wonderful .
“And… it’s okay if I go there after dinner?”
Braden sighs, his gaze on the blinking stoplight. “You’re not moving out today, are you?”
I hadn’t wanted to move out at all but seems that option is no longer on the table.
I stare at the ground and shake my head.
“Then I’ll see you at the farm. Be safe.”
“You, too.” I suck in a breath. “Braden?”
He pivots, those emerald eyes on me. “Yeah?”
My eyes brim with tears, my entire body trembling. “I’m so sorry.”
He marinates on my apology for a few seconds before nodding. “Me too.”
He gets on his motorcycle, and with a final wave, rides off down the street.
No hug. No kiss.
None of the affection I’ve grown to love from Braden Hammond.
I stand, rooted to the spot as he turns the corner out of sight and realize that I’ve lost him.
I’ve lost the most important thing in my life… by foolishly believing it wasn’t.