18
Christmas Eve arrived.
Gigget awoke with heaviness in her heart. Sure the letters from Bing had kept coming, but she had no clue whether he’d be at church tonight, or able to join them tomorrow. The not-knowing was driving her crazy. How would she even be informed if he was injured—or worse—dead?
I love him!
She still hadn’t received word about being laid off. She had little money in the bank and the puny gifts she had put under the tree were the best she could do. Her inability to provide better riddled her with guilt. Sure the gifts were practical and necessary—new gloves, hats, and scarves—but what the kids really needed were winter coats, snow pants, and boots. She hadn’t been able to find them at the thrift stores and the cost of buying new, even at a discount store, was beyond her reach.
She fought back the urge to cry. It was Christmas Eve—a time to be in awe and wonder at the precious gift God provided in a Savior who came to earth as an infant. He hadn’t owned nice clothing or a warm home in which to be born. She couldn’t imagine how difficult that must have been for Mary. By comparison, her life wasn’t difficult. She simply needed to trust God as much as Mary and Joseph had. Why did she find it so very difficult?
Gigget decided to bake cookies with the kids today before they went to church this evening. She’d need to trust that Christmas would still be good without sweet Bing, The Gnome. He hadn’t called her since last week. Granted, he hadn’t called her in the weeks prior either.
There’d been no news from the Federal Postal Inspector but then, this was a busy time of year and that person was probably swamped with other more urgent cases. She desperately needed the letter-threats resolved so she could return to work to support her little family. No one else was available to pay the bills or share the burden.
Buck up, Gigget. You can do this. Trust in God. He has never failed you.
While the coffee maker was heating, Gigget turned up the heat to ward off the chill. There was a frost on the ground but no snow. Nothing about the world outside gave a hint of Christmas magic. She didn’t believe in magic. But she did want to experience that sense of holy awe. With her emotions so twisted with anxiety about the stalker, the bills, and Bing, how would she ever be able to enjoy this day and tomorrow? She needed to make it special for the children.
Gigget got her Bible, journal, and pen, placed them on the table. She lit a candle that would fill the room with the scent of Christmas, peppermint, and something else.
She poured coffee into a favorite mug and brought it to the table, grateful that the children were still asleep. She needed this time alone. She flipped Bible pages and the verses of Philippians 4 spoke to her.
“…for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
Verse 19 called to her spirit. “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.”
A prayer developed and she began to write.
Dearest Lord,
You are all-knowing and aware of all our needs, even before I am. Forgive me for my moments of doubt, fear, and questioning. You possess all that we need and You are generous. You have always been faithful, Jesus, never failing to provide. Forgive me for when I feel You wait until the last minute and question Your perfect timing. You are eminently trustworthy. How often does my frail, finite mind forget this? You are more than capable of meeting our needs, and yet in my fallible desire for control, I often slip into believing it’s all up to me. Forgive my pride in thinking that. You love me and my children…and Bing. Help me to entrust all of us into Your loving care.
Grant me the ability to be content and to experience the joy of Your precious gift of salvation through You, Jesus. My Lord and my Savior, let me dwell in the peace of Christmas and all it represents of Your goodness and love to us. Help me to set aside the fears and anxieties, and yes, even the wistful longings of my heart to see Bing. I am too often alone in my own life to forget that everything I have and do is provided by Your grace and mercy to me. Help me in my unbelief so I can treasure the gift You continue to be to me. Fill my heart with Your joy so I can delight in You and be present with my children today as we celebrate and dwell in the wonder of Your love shown by coming to earth as an infant.
I do adore you, Jesus. You have been my mainstay, my lover and protector. Help me to never forget and slip into those old fears and anxieties as I trust in You.
All my love,
Gigget.
She sipped her coffee, savoring the quiet, the fragrance of the candle, and the soft light it brought to the early morning. To the east, the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon. What an amazing gift that was, another day God had granted. His glorious artistry painted the sky. Gigget sat in hushed silence as the world awakened to begin the hustle and bustle of the day ahead. Thank you, Jesus. You are my all in all .
~*~
The day had provided all kinds of challenges for Bing. A last-minute mission, writing the reports, packing, and almost missing his flight. Then a delay at another airport. Once he arrived back in the United States there were weather issues and overbooked flights that hindered him. He sat in the airport, tired and defeated. God, You understand how desperately I want to make it home to be with Gigget and the kids. I need a Christmas miracle here . He yawned and stretched out his legs, closing his eyes for a catnap. It would be hours before his flight would depart now, if it ever did. He set an alarm on his phone and then dozed off while praying for Gigget and the kids. Please, Jesus, get me home.
Hours later, Bing boarded his flight, sitting in the very back of the crowded plane. He’d never make it to Christmas Eve service now, and his heart was heavy that he’d miss that. Hearing the children sing the carols and the candles lit for Silent Night always brought a sense of wonder and hope and joy. He hoped Gigget was not disappointed or worried. He still had tomorrow. He peeked out the window. Clouds obscured the stars as the plane flew through the night. He still had so much to do when he got home. Better rest now.
~*~
Gigget had found a pretty blue dress at the thrift store for her Christmas outfit. She added a snowflake necklace with matching earrings that had been cheap but glistened. A touch of makeup, and she took special care with her hair. She wanted to look her best when she saw Bing. Something about today made her feel he’d be there.
After taking baths, the children were dressed in their best clothes. Flour had been decorating Djoni and Amoretta’s faces and hair after baking and icing cookies. With the Christmas music playing, they’d had fun together. Later, they’d watched Christmas movies and played. It had been a lovely day, and one she hoped they would remember in the years to come. God had granted her grateful children, and she hoped that continued tomorrow with her meager offerings under the tree.
They traveled to church and got settled in. The younger children sang and at one point in the service, her kids rushed to the stage to join the children’s choir. Away in a Manger never sounded so poignant. Her children sang like angels and their faces glowed with wonder. Gigget treasured these moments and so many others in her heart.
After the candlelight singing of Silent Night , the crowd ushered into a common area where there were cookies and hot chocolate.
Lulu came to stand beside her as the children visited with friends while munching their treats.
“They did a beautiful job tonight,” Lulu said.
Gigget smiled. “They did.”
“Any news from Bing?”
Shaking her head Gigget decided to change the subject. “How are you feeling? Did you see the doctor? That stomach bug…?”
Lulu grinned and leaned over to whisper in her friend’s ear. “We’re pregnant!”
Gigget hugged her friend. “I am so happy for you and Tink. I will be praying for you both. Congratulations!”
“After all the failures to conceive, I’m afraid we’ll lose this child. Don’t tell anyone else until we get past the first trimester.”
“Understood. I’m honored that you told me.” Joy bubbled up inside Gigget at her friend’s news. Thank you, Jesus for a new life! Keep Lulu and the baby healthy.
Gigget gave her friend a final hug and went outside. The landscape had become a winter wonderland with snowflakes lazily falling from the sky. Ooohs and ahhs came from the children as they stuck out their tongues to capture a flake or two.
Pulling into the driveway, gratitude filled Gigget’s heart at the Christmas lights coming from the house. Home. This was home. A gracious gift from God. Thank you, again, Jesus .
After getting the kids tucked into bed Gigget sat with a mug of hot chocolate, swirling a peppermint stick in it. Only the lights on the tree were illuminating the space as she curled up in her favorite old chair.
It had been a good day. Lord, thank You for the precious gift of Your Son, Jesus. Let me never forget what You have done for me and my children .
None of her problems had gone away. There were still bills to be paid, a stalker to be caught, a new job to find if things weren’t resolved, and she had no idea where Bing was or what would happen between them, but for this moment in time, she savored the peace and contentment of trusting in the Lord. He would work it all out, of that she was certain. While she would like to know the plan, God was already preparing her future. She needed to be here, enjoying His presence, instead of picking up stuff He’d already told her He would take care of.
I trust You, Jesus. Happy birthday .