Chapter 15
JASPER STIRRED awake to fingers combing through his hair and immediately wiggled closer to Vincent with a groan of protest. “No,” he grumbled, rubbing his face against Vincent’s shirt and breathing in the scent of warm skin and a lingering hint of soap.
“No, what?”
“No get up,” Jasper whined and refused to open his eyes, even though he really should have been up before Vincent to make breakfast. Except if Vincent wanted breakfast in bed, he shouldn’t have tormented Jasper for hours last night.
Vincent pressed a lingering kiss to his temple. “Sorry, pet, but you do need to get up.”
He let out a heartfelt groan and threw a leg over Vincent’s hip. “Why?”
Vincent sighed, his hand pausing in its path down Jasper’s back. “Amber called.”
Jasper grunted and pressed his face into Vincent’s chest. “So? We’re on vacation.” Even as he said it, he knew that wasn’t going to make a difference. She wouldn’t have called for something trivial, and Vincent certainly wouldn’t be making a big deal about it if it was.
“Pet,” Vincent said, his voice soft, and Jasper instinctively tensed up enough even his lungs stopped working for a moment. “Your father is in the hospital.”
Jasper wasn’t sure how he should react to that. A small part of him thought Good! But the rest of him was apathetic. He didn’t exactly wish his father ill so much as he tried not to let the asshole take up space in his head. “So?”
Vincent was silent for a long moment before his hand started moving again, a soothing rhythm that nearly made Jasper want to crawl out of his skin. “It sounds like he may not make it.”
“Then there’s no point in worrying about it. Or calling her back.”
“You don’t have to,” Vincent replied slowly. “I’ll tell her you don’t want to talk to her. Does that mean you don’t want to go back?”
“I want to stay here.”
“Okay.”
Jasper bit his tongue against asking if that was really okay. It was fine. He didn’t want to see his father, and if he died it was likely because he’d been a drunken bastard for most of his life.
“So I’m going to tell her you don’t want to talk right now. And that you’re thinking about what to do,” Vincent said after a moment. “You don’t have to change your decision, but I did make arrangements for a flight back this evening in case you do.”
He wouldn’t, but he didn’t bother saying so.
He pulled back and rolled over to bury himself under the covers.
He didn’t care. His father had made it clear how much of a nuisance and disappointment Jasper was.
Why should he have to give up the first vacation he’d ever had because the asshole might die?
When Amber took him in, his father never once called him to see where he’d gone or if he was coming back. Jasper assumed Amber had informed him at some point, but it’d been over a year since he’d last seen or spoken to his father.
He tugged the covers tighter when he heard Vincent speaking downstairs.
“No, he doesn’t want to speak to you. He’s awake. Yes, I told him. I’ll let you know when he makes a decision. No. No,” he repeated, sounding more than a little aggravated. “He’s an adult. He can—” Vincent snarled softly a few moments before he started up the stairs.
Jasper heaved a sigh and sat up, not at all surprised she wasn’t taking no for an answer. Even if she’d let Jasper move in, she didn’t know the full extent of his father’s neglect. Or pretended not to.
“She wants to hear from you,” Vincent said softly, putting the phone on Speaker and holding it towards Jasper.
He almost took the offer of being a coward, but dealing with her in a week would be bad enough without adding not speaking to her now on his list of offenses.
He took the phone from Vincent and turned off the speaker.
At Vincent’s questioning look, Jasper shook his head and waited for him to go back downstairs before staring at the phone and the call-duration time ticking up.
He finally lifted it to his ear and said, “I don’t want to talk. ”
“Jas,” Amber said, exasperated and harried. There were muffled voices in the background and the faint squeak of shoes on linoleum. “You need to come to the hospital. There’s a flight leaving at one. I already bought the tickets for you. I sent Vincent all the info.”
“Does he want to see me?”
“What—”
“Does he even want to see me,” he repeated slower, enunciating every word.
“Of course he wants to see you.”
Jasper scoffed. “Sure. Let me hear him say it, then.”
“He’s asleep right now.”
“Then call me back when he wakes up.”
“Get on the plane, Jasper! You can talk to him when you get here.”
Jasper sneered and resisted the urge to find a hammer to break the phone into pieces. “No.”
“What the fuck do you mean, no?”
“I’m not coming back just because he might die.”
“He is dying,” she snapped. “The cancer’s already spread everywhere. There’s nothing they can do but make him comfortable.”
“Which is more than he deserves,” he said before he could stop himself.
“Jasper Paulos Saris!”
He jabbed the End Call button and tossed the phone aside. It immediately started ringing, but he ignored it. Then ignored it again the next two times.
Five minutes later, he finally got sick enough of the ringing to answer, and she didn’t give him time to say a word before ripping into him. “Stop being selfish! Vincent can take you on another vacation whenever you want. Your father is on his deathbed, and you will be here by tonight!”
“Or what?” he asked tightly, struggling against the painful racing of his heart.
A beat of silence followed before she answered. “Or you can find a new living arrangement.”
“You’re a fucking bitch, Amber. Stop calling.
” He threw the phone aside and stalked downstairs to the balcony.
The near-stifling heat did nothing for his desire to scream, but he held it in.
What peace and happiness he’d found the past several days was utterly obliterated now, and the guilt wriggling its way through him only made it worse.
He hated that he felt even a shred of guilt for not wanting to go back. Sharing blood didn’t mean anything. If it did, Amber’s family should have been there after his mother died, but those long years after her death, Jasper had only had his brother. Until he disappeared too.
He slumped against the railing and stared out at the trees. The wild flowers planted around the cabin were blooming, but their mild floral scent was more irritating than soothing. He bristled when the door slid open behind him. “Tell her to fuck off.”
“I did.”
Jasper blinked and hesitantly glanced over his shoulder. Vincent was still standing inside as if afraid of getting too close, and Jasper suddenly felt like an ass. “And I still don’t want to go back.”
“You don’t have to.”
Jasper squinted. “You’re not going to try to make me?”
“You can make your own decisions. But I am going to make you come eat something.”
He pushed off the railing with a huff. “Rather eat you,” he muttered on his way by.
“I’m sure that can be arranged at some point,” Vincent replied, and Jasper almost smiled at the audible eye roll.
He dropped into a chair at the dining table, but even Vincent’s gourmet scrambled eggs failed to entice his hunger.
He sat poking at them as Vincent ate and drank coffee, and then Vincent’s phone chimed with a text.
Jasper looked up despite himself, the furrow between Vincent’s brows not boding well.
“She’s saying your brother is going to contact you on your phone.”
Jasper shoved his untouched eggs away and went in search of his phone. He found it where it had fallen off the nightstand and sat on the bed to wait for it to turn on, then waited another several minutes before a text came through.
All it said was You don’t have to come.
He stared at the words long enough the phone dimmed twice before he texted back. Are you?
Nah gonna get some champagne to celebrate
What’d amb say to that?
Fuck you not that stupid baby bro
A soft snort escaped Jasper, and he fell to lie on his side, absently flipping the phone over and over in his hand.
The guilt was still there, somehow worse now that he knew Noah wouldn’t be there either.
Not that he’d expected otherwise. If Jasper’s shitty childhood was a bad dream, Noah’s had been a nightmare.
The kitchen sink turned on, and he focused on the running water and clink of dishes.
That should have been him cleaning up. He tossed his phone on the nightstand and rolled over, curling up on his side as the guilt threatened to eat him alive.
How long was Vincent willing to take over Jasper’s duties before he got fed up?
Of course that bastard had one foot in the grave and was still finding ways to fuck up Jasper’s life.
He pressed his face into the pillow with a long whine.
This wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t be feeling guilty about not going back, or about wanting to stay here on his first vacation with Vincent.
They were finally seeing each other for more than a couple of days a week, and it was amazing.
If this was anything like how living with Vincent would be, he wanted more, but even daring to think that was enough that he let out another whine.
No way would Vincent want Jasper all up in his business all day every day. Except he wasn’t going to have a place to live soon if Amber stood by her threat. He sure as hell couldn’t ask to move in, but surely Vincent would let him stay while he figured out something more permanent.
“Pet.”
Jasper froze and tugged the pillow down enough to eye Vincent where he stood at the top of the stairs. “Sex?” he asked hopefully. Not that he was in the mood, but he’d welcome any distraction at this point.
Vincent raised an eyebrow. “Is that really what you want right now?”
“Maybe. No? I don’t know.” Jasper made a face and flopped back on the bed with an exaggerated sigh.
Vincent took a step forward before pausing. “Would you rather be left alone?”