44. THEO
44
THEO
The feelings I’ve tried to bury finally escape when I take her in. I let myself feel the ache. For her. For this.
Her eyes lock with mine and I become dizzy with the intimacy. She licks her lips, looking expectant, anxious.
My hands move of their own accord over her breasts and stomach and then I push her shoulders so she falls back onto the bed. Her nipples are completely visible underneath the sheer fabric, desperate to be released. As she sits there with her legs slightly open and breasts exposed just for me, it’s impossible not to want all of her.
She rolls her eyes, trying to close her legs, but I sit down on the bed next to her and rest my hand on the inside of her thigh. She stiffens slightly and I look up to find her staring at my hand, her mouth slacked as if transfixed by the sight of me holding her open. My grip tightens, inching up the inside of her leg, and I’m already so hard I should be embarrassed. Her legs are paler here, and I have a vision of sinking my teeth into her softness. Licking and sucking the untouched skin until she whimpers my name.
‘You have enough innocence to save us all.’ I repeat Anika’s warning aloud from that first night in Chivasso and I look down at my hand, loosening my grip.
‘Excuse me?’ Magdalen abruptly sits up, and I curse myself for saying that out fucking loud.
‘Shit, I’m sorry.’ My head whirls. ‘Anika, she—’
‘Oh, I know Anika says that. Says it to me every morning, in fact.’
Her palm presses against her forehead and she takes a quick glance at the window. She bites her lip as though she’s debating whether or not to say something.
‘I’m not as innocent as Anika thinks.’
My stomach lurches and I must look sick because her eyebrows furrow.
‘I didn’t mean to offend you.’ I edge closer to her, wishing I could tell her that innocence is better than whatever the fuck I am.
‘I’m not offended. Just clarifying.’ She shrugs, parting her legs further.
The image of seeing her for the first time since I came back appears in my mind. Toes in the grass, overalls barely covering her ass, being so surprised at how tall she was when she stood up.
I let myself think the thought I’ve been holding back since the moment I saw her.
I want to be inside her.
I slowly turn my body and kneel on the bed so that I’m over her. We’re the same height like this, our heads inches apart. With only that tiny thong and sheer bra, her nipples taunt me, peeking through the semi-transparent fabric. How has she resisted being with anyone for so long? Images of her and Roberto flash to mind and I inwardly groan. I try to breathe slowly but the nightmare begins again. The noise of ripped fabric is so loud, I shut my eyes.
‘Hey.’ She brushes a piece of my hair behind my ear and I lean into her touch. The need to touch, to be touched by her, is so bad my hands shake.
Opening my eyes, I find Magdalen’s staring back at me, wide and green, full of concern. It’s like she knows. She scoots closer, nodding her head, whispering comforting things that make my eyes prick. Pathetic, I look down. I should tell her. The shame of having his shadow follow me, even at night in a bedroom with Magdalen, miles away, is so heavy that I think about walking out.
But then her fingertips hover next to my cheek, slowly, as if testing whether I’ll run. Never again, Magdalen , I want to say. I only ran because it would scare you how badly I want to stay. I blink slowly, my chin dipping in a short nod, hoping she can see what I’m too afraid for her to hear. She sighs, still looking at me with those beautiful doe eyes. The worry dissolves as her fingertips graze my jaw. I release a breath, my head leaning into her palm.
‘Magdalen,’ I whisper.
‘You’re scaring me,’ she answers, but she’s smiling.
‘Why?’ I lick her cheek, basking in the warmth of her body.
‘I’ve never seen you this way.’
‘You’ve never seen me at all,’ I correct. ‘But I’m okay. I tend to overthink a little sometimes.’ But I’ve seen you , I want to add.
‘I’ve seen you since the moment Titziana Benedetto asked me if she could fuck you,’ Magdalen says, and I’m caught off guard by the memory of uncomfortable sex in that car. Trying to recall that scene, it scares me when I can’t remember her there. Why would Titziana ask her? I feel sick knowing she knew what was happening that night.
‘I threw up after that,’ I confess, the words slipping out before I have time to hide them away.
Her smile disappears, replaced once again with concern.
‘Why?’
‘I... I never wanted to have... I just—’ I take a deep breath. Try to balance the throbbing in my dick with the awful memory of the smell of stale fast food in that car. Her perfume that reminded me of my grandmother. ‘I wasn’t ready and I did it anyway.’
‘I’m sorry you felt you had to do something before you were ready to.’
Every time she speaks, I feel it on my skin.
Swallowing hard, I open my eyes to find hers pouring into mine. Emotion swirls in the dark green and I grimace at the idea of her pitying me for fucking someone at sixteen. ‘I don’t want to talk about Titziana,’ I say, my hands wrapping about her hips tightly, needing to feel as much of her as I can before I have to let this fantasy go. My head leans into hers and the feeling of her hair brushing my neck is enough...
Hasn’t it been obvious, Magdalen? I want to shout. Don’t you know I’ve touched myself to the thought of you?
My fingers trace her neck and she sighs. The sound alone is enough to make my hardness increase tenfold, painfully pressing against my shorts.
My lips brush against her jaw and my hands slide down her body. I grip her ass through the thin fabric, squeezing her closer to me. A groan bubbles in my throat, the feeling of her body against mine is beyond any fantasy. She arches closer towards me until our bodies are flush against one another and I push my hips into hers, wanting her to feel, for her to know she has the control.
My hands slide up her spine to grip the back of her neck, forcing her to look at me. Teeth grazing her cheekbone. A deep hum of pleasure escapes her and I’d do anything to hear that sound again.
I break away for a moment to look at her. Her lips are parted, her pupils wide.
My lips devour hers in one fluid motion. She freezes at first, not expecting the intrusion, but within seconds her lips soften, opening for me, kissing me back. My fingers wrap in her hair, gripping tightly. The fullness of her lips is intoxicating. I can’t help myself; my teeth bite her bottom lip and I stifle a moan. My legs are moving before I realize as I blindly settle between her open thighs.
‘Theo,’ she moans, and I almost come at the sound of my name from her mouth.
‘Since the moment I saw you in the grass.’
She laughs again and when her mouth opens I kiss her again, wanting her laughter to be a part of me. Her lips instinctively part, allowing me entrance with no hesitation this time, and her tongue brushes against mine.
Holy fuck , I think. It’s never felt like this before.
Her hands travel down my chest, fingers gliding across my bare stomach. I press closer into her, needing her to touch me. Magdalen moans and it sets my skin ablaze. I swallow her kisses, devouring her mouth until it is swollen and marked by me. Kissing always felt like a stepping stone, to get what I really wanted. But as I grab her face to bring her closer to me, I realize I want to claim her, brand her with myself, the same way she’s branded me.
Heady silence falls between us as my tongue dips into her mouth to find more, feeling like more will never be enough. There is hunger in this kiss, and she responds with equal demand, looping her fingers into the belt buckle of my shorts, drawing me in. I grind into her, aching for relief from the pressure that begins to build at the bottom of my spine. She breaks the kiss, breathless and blushing. Searching my eyes, she extends her hand, from my belt to the front of my shorts, cupping my hardness between her fingers. I inhale sharply, the slight contact enough to send me over. She looks down and then back at me, eyes glossy. As she goes to reach for me again, I grip her wrist and turn it over, planting a light kiss on her palm. If anyone is going to touch first tonight, it’s going to be me.