48. MAGDALEN
48
MAGDALEN
Wine is a blessed drink. After three glasses, the anxiety of my conversation with Lucia subdues to a manageable discomfort that I can tuck away behind the peeling label on the wine. Cicadas hum loudly in the hyacinth bushes behind us, and we sit quietly together, breathing in the smell of honeysuckles and snapdragons that grow around us. My head leans on the backing of the wrought-iron garden chair, and I stare peacefully at the stars while my feet rest on Theo’s lap.
‘Are the stars this clear in Oxford?’
When I lift my head, Theo is staring at me. His head tilts lazily, making no effort to conceal his blatant perusal of my body.
‘I don’t look at the stars,’ I say, stretching my ankles on his thighs until they crack. ‘I’m too busy trying not to be the dumbest person there.’
‘Even if half your brain was missing, you’d be smarter than most people there.’
I scoff. ‘That’s something a genius would say.’
‘I’m not a genius.’ Finishing the last sip of his wine, he places the glass on the table, and then squeezes my foot reassuringly. ‘I just knew how to cheat the system.’
‘You went to Yale! And Columbia . And a gifted secondary school. Won every award a student could. Went on an excavation with my father when you were seventeen. And were the only first-year on the varsity football team. Should I keep going?’
‘You keeping tabs on me, Savoy?’ The hand on my foot moves up to my ankle and he pulls me closer to him. Between the wine and the feeling of his hands on me, I feel utterly intoxicated.
‘I wasn’t immune to the Theo Sinclair charm,’ I smirk. It seems odd that he’d even have to ask. His talent travelled through the steep hills of Chivasso like wildfire. Hooking his foot underneath my chair, he pulls me even closer so that my legs are almost straddling his. I gulp, eyeing the wine for any charitable drops, but the bottle is empty. Why am I still nervous? How long before he’s tired of my body and wishes for someone else’s legs around him? These are lame girl thoughts, I know.
Theo runs his hands up my legs, firmly gripping me, touching me everywhere. His nails graze gently across my skin and it immediately sends goosebumps up my spine. When his hands dip underneath my overalls and start massaging my thighs, he moans as he seeks more of me but the chair stops him. He raises his head to look at me, his eyes practically black in the night-time. He squeezes me again and I feel it in my core this time.
‘I wish I got you sooner.’ His voice is soft. Intense. When I raise my body so I’m no longer leaning on the base of the chair, Theo immediately takes the opportunity to pull me up so I’m sitting astride him.
‘Should have come back last summer.’ My arms loop around his neck, my fingers playing with his already overgrown hair.
‘Yeah, I fucking should have.’ He groans and dives towards my lips, his hand snakes underneath my chin and hungrily pulls me closer to get better access to my mouth. My head feels light, floating on waves of wine and the feeling of his strong thighs beneath mine. ‘Come here, please,’ he begs and dips his tongue into my mouth. I instantly sigh, tasting the dry wine and his distinct sweetness.
Once, when Lucia came home from a research trip to Saint Catherine’s Monastery, she tried to explain to me what kissing should be like. The conversation was awkward, rushed, brutally revealing our distance before we knew it ourselves. We were in the museum and she was telling me about her latest fling with someone on the research trip.
‘He told me that humans invented kissing to try to breathe in each other’s souls. Because words and hugs and even sex weren’t strong enough to symbolize needing another person so badly. Wanting to be bruised by them. Needing to communicate between the shapes and curves of each other’s lips their desperation.’
My mind tried to attach features to this mystery boy, wondering what kind of person captured Lucia’s attention for long enough. I hope he’s found someone’s soul worth searching for.
Theo’s hands slide down from my cheek to fiddle with the button of my overalls and the cool metal touches my skin. I shudder involuntarily; the heat of his breath combined with the coldness is electric, and I arch my back to get closer to him.
‘Are you trying to undress me in the middle of the garden?’ I smile as he unhooks the button so my left strap falls down my shoulder.
Breaking the kiss, Theo looks down at my bare shoulder and leans down to kiss it while skimming the top of the bandeau. ‘I would never.’
Theo’s hands travel to my back, where the scarf is knotted. I feel one finger drop into the centre of the knot and pull it so the fabric loosens. He tugs gently and the knot comes undone and he brings his hand to the front of my chest to keep it from falling down completely.
‘My sister and her soon-to-be husband could be watching!’ I gasp as his hand runs over my breasts, only the thin fabric between his hand and my hardened nipples.
‘Their room faces the west side of the beach. And I closed the blinds of the sliding door. You think I’d let anyone but me get to see this?’ he asks darkly and curls his fingers around the scarf. Some feminist proverb tries to snake its way to my consciousness, but I shove it back, loving the possession. Theo pulls the scarf off completely, so I’m exposed apart from the right buckle that keeps one side of my overalls up. I gasp, instantly trying to cover myself, but he holds down my wrist.
‘No, no, I want to look at you.’ I fight the embarrassment. Somehow being half naked outside is more intense than being completely naked with him in the shower. But the way he’s staring at me lessens the mortification slightly – him leaning back while biting down on his bottom lip so hard I think he’s going to draw blood. He adjusts me on his lap and I instantly feel his hardness press against me, making the last of my embarrassment disappear.
‘But what if I want to look at you?’ I retort, and rest my hands on the buckle of his belt, grazing his stomach with my nail.
‘Eager, sweet girl,’ he hisses, reflexively rocking his hips into mine, and I almost cry out from the contact. He wraps his hand around the bunched-up denim around my waist and rocks his hips again, and this time, I have to hold onto his shoulder for support.
‘Use me, Magdalen.’ Those words. I look up at him, wondering if he remembers, and he gives a small smile. ‘I never got to see you come like this.’
His hands squeeze my hips and fingers press into the bottom of my spine, guiding me to grind on him slowly. The friction of my denim combined with his erection is almost too intense and I close my eyes, fingers gripping his T-shirt as he lifts his hips again, making contact with my clit so that I moan loudly.
‘Fuck,’ he murmurs, and when I open my eyes his lips are parted, watching me closely.
‘Again,’ I whimper, not recognizing the neediness of my own voice, but too entranced to care. My plea seems to awaken a new hunger in him because he instantly flexes himself against me again, but this time he doesn’t stop; instead he leans closer to me, wrapping his arms around me, one hand around the back of my neck while the other is pressed firmly on my hip. He holds me so that I’m flush against him and grinds onto me again.
‘Make yourself feel good on me, Mag. You know how.’ He breathes harshly and I suck in a breath as I match his rhythm, grinding into him with abandon. Another moan leaves my lips and Theo flips the hand at the back of my neck to my mouth, covering the whimpers and unintelligible words coming out of me.
‘You have to come quietly,’ his voice whispers in my ear, not once stopping the flex and roll of his hip. ‘Come quietly just for me, that’s it.’ Our pace quickens and I bite down on the centre of his palm, unsure of where to put all this building pleasure inside me if not through a loud scream.
‘God, I can’t get enough of your fucking sounds.’ Theo shifts so that we’re on the edge of the chair, and I feel the familiar tightening in my core. I hold onto the arm of the chair and rock harshly into him, almost delusional with pleasure.
‘Oh, Theo.’ My voice is muffled in his hand, unsure of what I’m even trying to say.
‘You’re doing so good,’ he says, the last word coming out as a groan desperate enough to shatter the building tightness. My eyes squeeze shut as I pulse violently, shuddering as the waves of pleasure continue to fill me as Theo rubs against me.
‘Ah, yes,’ he says, and I open my eyes to look down at where our bodies are connected. His erection is visible through his shorts now and I cup him as my orgasm continues to overtake all my senses.
‘You need to feel good now,’ I hear myself say, looking up at him through my eyelashes and squeezing him gently.
‘I’m already so close.’ He sucks in a breath and covers my hand to stop me from touching him further. ‘But I want you in my bed, now.’
Without warning, Theo stands up with me still straddling him. My overalls swing down, the metal hitting the leg of the chair, and he begins to walk us inside the house.