Chapter 27 - Melanie
I sat in Gram’s bedroom and traced the patterns in her quilt. It was an ugly old thing, and according to her, it was her one and only attempt at making a quilt. My lips curved into a small smile when I remembered her telling me the story.
“My ex-husband wanted a good housewife and instead he got me.” Gram laughed and slapped her knee, “that man expected me to be able to cook, sew, garden, and host a hell of a dinner party. So, imagine his surprise when it turned out the only kind of party I could successfully host was a poker night, where I would kick all of his friend’s asses, double my weekly allowance, and be the town gossips favorite subject.
One night he was complaining about how I needed to be more domesticated…
so I made this ugly thing, and he hated it. ”
It was her favorite blanket.
I sighed, wandered over to her vanity, and slowly ran my finger over the different perfume bottles. She had three vintage perfume bottles lined up on top of a gold plated mirror tray with matching brushes and a matching glass jewelry box. They’d been the only wedding gift she’d kept.
“She would want you to have those.” My mother said softly from the doorway. “You used to beg her to brush your hair with those old brushes.” She smiled fondly at me.
“I remember…” I murmured. She had always humored my demands.
“Do you remember when that guy she was dating tried tell her that she spoiled us too much?” Kyle stepped out from behind our mom and sat down on the bed with a mischievous smirk.
“Yes!” I gasped. “She’d been seeing him for like six months or something… but as soon as he said that she told him it was time for him to head on out, and he never came around again.”
“She ended things with him that same day.” Mom chimed in.
“She called me after you kids left to let me know what had happened and I remember being shocked that she had left him over one mistake. ‘Felicity, any man that believes you can spoil a child just by giving them attention and affection isn’t going to be a good partner.’ And when she put it that way…
I couldn’t find fault with her logic. She wasn’t spending outrageous money or letting you get away with bad things, she was brushing your hair. ”
“He was a weird old dude anyways.” Kyle scoffed.
“I don’t remember much about him…” I admitted.
“Well, I was like ten or eleven, so you must’ve been like eight.” He shrugged, “he collected stamps… that was his big hobby and the only thing he ever tried talking about with us… it was weird.”
“Stamps are… okay.” I winced at how lame my own words sounded.
“Sure, but not to an eleven year old.” He chuckled.
We all fell into a comfortable silence while Kyle sorted through some old postcards my grandmother kept in her bedside table, and I sorted through her jewelry box with my mother.
Every now and then, one of us would show an item to the others, but mostly we just sat in one of the spaces where we all felt her presence.
“Did either of you open your letters?” My mother asked without looking up from the jewelry in her hands.
“No?” I said slowly.
“I did.” Kyle looked surprised. “Why not?”
“I’m not ready.” I mumbled.
“That’s okay.” My mother said quickly. Too quickly.
“Why?” I asked, suspiciously.
“I… I’m not sure if I should say anything before you’ve read your own.” She sighed. “I think it’s best if we discuss the letters once we’ve all read ours.”
“Okay…” I eyed her and crossed my arms. “Is it something bad?”
“Melanie…” My mother’s tone warned me to stop pushing.
“Fine.” I huffed. “I will read them tonight and then tomorrow you’ll tell me what the last two minutes have been about.”
She nodded and held up one of Gram's giant, bauble earrings. “I can’t believe her ear lobes didn’t touch her shoulders.” She joked.
“I can’t believe she actually liked them.” I replied.
· · ─ ·?· ─ · ·
My dearest granddaughter,
Melanie, I have loved you since the moment I held you in my arms. Maybe from the first time you kicked me from within your mama’s belly. If you are reading this, I am no longer where you can see me—I’ve gone to heaven. Where I can still see you, still hear you, still walk along beside you.
You are just a toddler as I’m writing this, hopefully this is one of many letters I will write to you, and you can laugh at how silly your old gram was for writing a letter to a toddler.
But if it’s not one of many, I want you to know that you are perfect. You deserve the world, and just from the way you have your daddy and brother wrapped around your little fingers, I imagine you will get the world. Always remember your worth.
With all my love,
Grama Barb
I folded the first letter back up and set it aside.
There were ten letters in total. I skimmed the next couple; they were more or less the same—different years but declarations of a grandmother’s love.
I froze when I reached the one dated shortly after my wedding… This one was longer than the others.
My favorite Granddaughter: Melanie,
Only granddaughter. I thought with a smile and rolled my eyes.
Believe it or not, watching you walk down the aisle was one of my bucket list items. You were an absolute vision, and Benjamin’s eyes never left you once. It was a beautiful night, and I’m so glad that you and Benjamin wound up together.
She wouldn’t think that now. I scoffed.
I know you were both upset with me for the prenup.
I understand, if I had been in your shoes—in love with the same man since high school—I too would’ve felt like my insistence was a lack of faith in our love.
Unfortunately, I’m an old lady whose first love was more like a nightmare.
You never met your mother’s father, but he was not a good man, a good father, or a good husband.
We married young, at my parents’ insistence.
Back then, if you got caught fooling around in the back of a young-ish man’s Cadillac, he had to marry you.
I won’t bore you with the details, but in the long run, Mr. Olsen and I did not stay married.
Thanks to Nancy, I was able to leave that marriage with enough assets to stand on my own two feet—an independence I never took for granted or gave up again—but that did not come easily, and the battle was traumatic for your poor mother.
Women did not simply divorce men in those times.
My only regret in leaving that man was that it had to hurt your mother.
My insistence was based on my own experience; if, for any reason, you or Benjamin decide to go your separate ways, I wanted to make sure that the path to doing so was smooth for you both.
As I’m sure you read, the prenup doesn’t favor you unless you have been left in a position where you are dependent on him or he has been unfaithful to your vows.
The same terms apply to you. I love your husband; he is like another grandson to me; the boy was given a bad beat.
(Remember your old gram was quite the poker aficionado in her day.)
I hope that you never have a need for the prenup. I hope that you both grow old together and have lots of littles that look like both of you and burn bright with the fire within them—like you do, my wonderful girl.
All my love,
Grama Barb
I stared at the handwritten letter in my hands and felt the familiar burning sensation in the back of my eyes. If only I could tell her how grateful I was for her foresight. That she’d been right and that her prenup was going to save me and my child.
I tried to swallow the ball that had appeared in my throat, but couldn’t.
Unfortunately, we had been angry with her when she first insisted on the prenup.
It had felt like betrayal to sign something that was basically declaring our marriage was doomed.
Statistically, it was such a likely outcome that it shouldn’t have felt like a betrayal but in our young minds, we had just heard the word divorce and rebelled.
My hands shook as I took out the next letter.
My brilliant Melanie,
I’m writing this letter after having met with my accountant and my attorney to discuss all the new financial assets your brilliant investments have wrought.
My darling girl, you have changed our lives. Not just mine, but Felicity what’s left for you is FOR YOU.
Use it to keep building your beautiful life.
All my love & admiration,
Grama Barb
I smiled when I remembered the phone call I got after her accountant had informed her about all her new wealth. She had been so flustered.
“Melanie, what did you do?” she had screeched, and I had stared at my phone, shocked by her tone and volume.
“What are you talking about?” I had asked.
“Why is there so much money in my account, young lady!” she demanded.
“Oh…” I laughed. “Is that what this is about? You scared me!” I accused.
“W-What do you mean ‘is that what this is about’?! There are millions of dollars in my bank account!”
“Yes, it looks like my investments paid off!” The pride in my voice was undeniable.
Her tone softened at my obvious excitement.
“I’m very confused but you sound so happy that I don’t even care anymore how this happened.”
“It’s all very legitimate and legal. I made some lucky choices is all.” I assured her.
“I don’t think it was luck, young lady. I think it’s because you’re brilliant and chose your investments very carefully.” Despite the words being praise, it sounded like I was being scolded.
I slowly opened the final letter, which was dated only a month before she had passed.
She must’ve known how close she was to the end.
My darling Melanie,
If you are reading this, the cancer finally won.
I know you will be upset with me for not having told you in advance, but once I knew that there was nothing else the doctors could do, I wanted to spend the rest of my days living life my way, not dragged to doctors, or watch my loved ones worry about me and pray for miracles that the lord couldn’t give out.
On the list of things you have to be mad at me for, this one wasn’t my worst sin.
I want you to know that I love you. More than you could possibly know.
Felicity was my ONE reason for many years, but then came you and Kyle…
and you both were my redemption. My chance to do better—my reward.
I loved watching you both grow into spectacular humans.
I loved watching my Felicity bloom as your mother—watching her reach her full potential and watching her truly live a life full of love.
The idea of causing you any pain guts me in a way that is not describable.
My darling girl, I regret that my last months on this earth turned me into a coward.
I regret that more than I can say. I want you to know that even at my most selfish, at my most cowardly…
I have ALWAYS loved you. I have always seen your worth, I have always believed in YOU.
I wish nothing but the best for you, each and every single day, and although I won’t be here with you for the next chapters, I will be watching and praying that they are full of everything you deserve: light, love, and joy.
I hope you are able to forgive me for every cowardly, selfish choice that has ever hurt you. Never forget how loved you are. Never forget how strong you are. Never forget WHO you are. Cause my girl, you are fucking perfect.
With ALL my love. Forever.
Grama Barb