Chapter Sixteen #3
When she picked up her pace, her pelvis meeting mine with more force, I met her intensity. I rocked up harder, my sick brain loving the mix of pain and pleasure every time she ground against my cock. I plucked at her nipple, savoring the weight of her in my hand as I kissed along her jaw.
“Not so mouthy now, are you?” I teased, and I kept that one hand driving on her hip, but slid the other out from under her shirt. I trailed it up, running my fingers over her lips until she sucked two of them inside her mouth and locked her eyes on me.
My throat tightened. I pictured my cock there instead of my fingers, imagined what it would feel like to have her tongue swirl around me, to see her on her knees taking me down her throat.
“Come on, baby,” I said roughly, bucking up into her. “Come on my cock. Give me what I want. Let me hear the noises you make so I can add those to the list of everything about you that keeps me up at night.”
Then, I pulled my fingers from her moaning mouth and wrapped my hand gently around her throat.
She hummed with approval the moment I did, and then she was in control — bucking and writhing and chasing her release. I squeezed, feeling the column of her throat in my hand, savoring the way she started to quake as her release overcame her.
And then she was shuddering, moaning, my name a breath on her lips where she strained through my grip. She rocked and panted and gripped onto me like I was the only thing holding her to the earth.
Fuck.
I felt it happening before I had any chance of stopping it. Blood rushed between my thighs, my brain going fuzzy as I let myself give in to what it felt like to have Emily the way I’d wanted her since the first day we met.
I came, too.
My groans grew louder than hers, and she smiled against my mouth as she rode my lap, coaxing every last drop of cum I had in me right out.
“Fuck,” I breathed, looking down at where I’d spilled in my pants. “Fuck.”
Emily just grinned, still slowly rolling against me like she’d won the goddamn lottery.
“Naughty boy,” she murmured, that smirk still in place as she slid her hands into my hair and kissed me again. “I think I like meditation.”
I should have laughed.
This was the part where I should laugh, spank her ass, growl something sexy in her ear and tell her it was even better than I imagined. This was the part where we were supposed to get cleaned up while we giggled and tried to be quiet.
Except that laugh was lodged in my throat, which was currently tightening more and more by the minute as the reality of what we’d done settled in.
“Fuck, Em,” I breathed, pulling her forehead to rest against mine. “We… fuck, we shouldn’t have done this.”
“I beg to differ,” she said with a laugh. “I think we should do it again, actually.”
“We can’t.”
What the fuck was I thinking?
I shook my head, panic seizing my chest.
We’d broken our contract.
And if anyone found out, we’d both be toast.
“We can’t,” I said again. “We can’t do it again and we can’t tell anyone it happened. Do you understand?” I pulled back, framing her face in my hands. “We can’t, Em.”
Her smile faded, her eyes flicking between mine. I waited for her to be pissed, for her to rip into me. She should have. I was a fucking prick — coming in my pants one second and begging her not to tell anyone the next.
She should have slapped me.
She should have stormed out of the room.
Instead, her hands stayed in my hair, and she tilted my chin up until I looked at her.
“Hey, you’re okay,” she said softly. “I’m not telling anyone. All right? You’re safe. It’s all good.”
I didn’t realize I’d been breathing so shallowly until I saw the sincerity in her eyes. I took my first full breath, swallowing as shame flushed my cheeks.
“Don’t do that,” she said before I could say a word. “Don’t apologize, and don’t act like I don’t get it. We can’t fuck around. We signed contracts. I know what’s at risk, okay?” Her eyes flicked to the gym door, like she just realized anyone could walk in at any moment.
That fact had been turning me on less than five minutes ago and was sparking an anxiety attack for me now.
“I’m going to go first,” she said. “You take a moment and then you can head out, too. Claire is the only one who saw me here today, and she already thinks I left. And you’ve been in here meditating. No one is going to find out.”
“Cameras?”
She laughed. “Do you really think anyone is going to check the gym cameras on an off day? Besides, they’re only in the main area. There’s not one in here. Trust me,” she said with a smirk. “I thought about that before I climbed into your lap.”
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I just…
Felt so fucking seen.
And also so destroyed at the thought of this being all we’d ever have.
“Hey, it was fun, right?” she said, nudging her nose against mine until she could capture my mouth with a kiss. “Our little secret.”
I nodded.
But inside, my heart was kicking like a wild mustang, my ribs threatening to squeeze my lungs until I had no breath left. It was like my entire body was revolting, refusing to accept the reality my common sense and logic were forcing it to face.
I gave in, pulling her into me for one last selfish, greedy kiss.
And I should have felt better after.
Should have felt like I’d finally scratched the itch, gotten her out of my system, taken the edge off whatever this thing was between us.
That’s how it was supposed to work.
Instead, it only made it worse.
Because now I knew exactly what I was missing.
Now I knew how she tasted, how she felt, how easily I could lose myself in her — and there was no pretending it didn’t matter.
No pretending she didn’t matter.
I wasn’t cured.
I was completely, irreversibly fucked.