Chapter Twenty
Braden
Three excruciating days passed in a numb state of going through the motions.
I showed up to the stadium on Monday for film review and meetings.
I took my Tuesday off — and actually gave myself an off day, spending most of it on the phone with my family.
Ginny was a nice distraction for a while.
She told me about her games and the latest book she’d read for book club — A Snake Falls to Earth.
She asked me about football. I promised I’d visit soon and meant it.
Mom asked if I was all right and I assured her I was fine.
I wasn’t.
Wednesday brought a welcome reprieve with practice. At least I was on the field doing something. Getting into my body and out of my brain for a while helped — however marginally.
But on the whole, three days felt like three years, because Emily wasn’t answering my texts.
And she didn’t want to see me.
It was smart of her. It was smart for both of us. I should be thanking her for being the stronger one, for not entertaining my requests to come see her when it was a stupid idea.
Instead, I was sick with worry and a desire to run to her apartment and say fuck it all.
That sickness must have been apparent, too, as I stared at my phone in my hands and willed a text to come through while hanging out at Kyle’s house.
“Do we know if the plan is still to do Christmas in the mountains again?” Madelyn asked. She was pacing the living room with Raven, who was presently screaming even though she’d been fed and had her diaper changed.
I naively thought that was all a baby needed to be content. I was very wrong.
“Oh, I’m not sure,” Kyle answered. He and Sebastian were locked into a video game.
“If that’s the plan, we probably need to figure out dates that work with everyone’s game schedules and book a place,” she remarked, running a finger lightly over Raven’s forehead and down her nose. Like magic, Raven’s cries stopped altogether before turning into soft coos.
“I liked that last year,” Sebastian said. “I wanna go again.”
“Braden?”
I blinked at the mention of my name, reluctantly lifting my gaze from my phone to find Madelyn waiting for a response.
“Oh, yeah. I loved it, too. We should definitely go.”
“I meant have you heard anything from the rest of the group? Have the guys discussed it?”
“Oh, uh…” I looked to Kyle for help, but he was too busy high-fiving Sebastian after they completed a mission. “No?”
She sighed, but it was with a smile and a shake of her head. Raven was already starting to doze in her arms. “Boys. Nothing would get done if it was up to you.”
“Hey, I resent that,” Kyle said, ruffling Sebastian’s hair as he hopped up from the floor and swooped Madelyn into his arms. “I think I do quite a bit around here.”
“Annoy me most of all,” Madelyn shot back, but her smile betrayed her.
Kyle tongued his cheek. “Oh, is that so?” He dug his fingers into her ribs, making her laugh and wriggle away.
“Stop it! If you disrupt the nap Raven is about to slide into, I’ll swap your shaving cream for hair removal foam.”
“You’d miss my scruff,” he remarked, smoothing a hand over his jaw.
“And you’ll miss your hands, because I’ll cut them off if you wake this baby by tickling me.”
They exchanged all of this with goofy smiles on their faces, and then kissed so obscenely I looked away and Sebastian said, “Ew, guys.”
“Come on, Seb,” Madelyn said, still looking at Kyle all doe-eyed. “Let’s put Raven down in her crib and you can head back to your room for quiet time.”
“Aw, Mom. I want to keep playing.”
“You can play after dinner. Come on.” She waved her hand until he joined her, her arm slinging around his neck as she bent to kiss his head. She eyed me and Kyle next. “One of you — text the group chat and get conversations started. Do not make me ask again.”
“Yes, Mommy,” Kyle practically panted.
I chuckled as Madelyn gave him a pointed look before leaving us alone.
When Kyle flopped down on the couch with me, it was with a long sigh, his large body sinking down into the cushions as he stretched his legs out and let his head fall back. “Being a parent is fucking exhausting.”
“Especially after a long day at the stadium,” I remarked. We’d both been there all day, reporting early for meetings and film before we launched right into practice. We had some treatment after lunch, and then Kyle all but bullied me into coming over for dinner.
“Practice felt good today, though, didn’t it?” Kyle let his head fall to the side to look at me. “We’re getting better as a team.”
“As a team, maybe,” I muttered, tucking my phone away with a sigh. There was no text coming through and I needed to let it go. “I wasn’t my best.”
“No. You weren’t.”
I flipped him off.
“Wanna tell me why?”
I shrugged. “Just an off day. I felt good during the game. Just getting back into the swing of things, I guess.”
He nodded, folding his hands over his stomach as he stretched out even longer like he was debating taking a nap just like Raven was about to. His phone dinged, and he smiled at the message.
“Raven said hell no to being put down in her crib for a nap, so Madelyn is stuck for a contact nap in the recliner.”
“Should one of us relieve her?” I asked.
“She’d tell me if she wanted to. I think we both kind of secretly like when it happens. Sure, you can’t be productive, but you get a warm, snuggly baby on your chest. It’s pretty magical.”
I smiled.
“How’s your family doing?” Kyle asked.
“Good. Ginny is still obsessed with Baldur’s Gate. She’s so smart, man. Like she puts anyone she plays games with to shame. It’s hilarious to watch her snap at the people she’s playing with to get their shit together and not ruin her stats.”
Kyle chuckled.
“And Mom and Dad seem all right. A bit stressed, but…” My stomach tightened. “I mean, it’s a lot, you know? They’ve got some help during the day with the nurse I hired, which takes the edge off. But it’s still… a full life to manage.”
“Yeah,” Kyle said gently. “That’s got to be hard.”
I nodded. “They’d never complain. And honestly, neither would I. Gin’s not—” I huffed a quiet breath, shaking my head. “She’s not something to ‘handle.’ She’s my sister. Their daughter. We just… show up for her. Same as she shows up for us in her own ways.”
It’d taken me a while to open up to my friends about my full family situation.
I told them bits and pieces when we played at NBU together, but most of it I let out once we’d graduated.
I didn’t want word getting to our PR team or my agent at the time.
This was before Giana was in that role, and I was worried someone might try to pressure me into using my family story for media or as a way to get deals.
My family was my family. Period. End of story.
They weren’t some story to be profited off of.
“Do you miss them?” Kyle asked.
“Always. I’m going to go see them soon.”
“They’re in Baltimore, right?”
I nodded. It was where we’d moved after Ginny’s diagnosis — to be close to the best doctor in the world when it came to AFM.
“Well, I’m glad they’re doing well.” Kyle paused, tapping his fingers before he looked at me. “But if all is well at home, then care to tell me what’s on your mind?”
“Nothing. I’m good.”
He flattened his lips. “You act like I’m not your best friend. I can see right through your bullshit just the same as you can see through mine. So, let’s try this again… what’s going on, fucker?”
I huffed a laugh. “You’re a pain in my ass.”
“And you love me, anyway. Tell me why you’re Mr. Mopey.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair before I sat back and crossed one ankle over the opposite knee. I debated lying to him, but the truth was my secrets were safe with Kyle, with my whole group of friends.
And I needed someone to talk to about it.
“Emily.”
Kyle clapped, sitting up like I’d just told him we’re going to Disney World. “Ah! He finally admits it!”
“Shut up or that’s all you’ll get from me.”
He made a dramatic show of zipping his lips closed, but his grin was devious.
I rolled my eyes. “She’s hurt and I want to go see her but she told me not to come.”
Kyle held up a hand, pointing to his zipped lips with his brows raised.
“You can talk, dumbass, just don’t be a jerk.”
He let out an exaggerated breath like he’d been holding it. “When did she say this to you?”
“After the game. I’d been checking on her and finally decided I was going over to her place whether she answered or not. I thought maybe she just didn’t have her phone or something. But as soon as I said I was on my way, she texted me not to come.”
“Did she say anything else?”
“No.”
He blew out a breath. “Ouch.”
“Yeah.”
“Have you tried her since?”
“Once every day. I don’t want to be too much. And honestly, I should probably take the hint, shouldn’t I? We aren’t allowed to fraternize, and she’s reminding me of that. I should listen.”
Kyle smirked. “Does this mean the two of you haven’t been following that little rule?”
I cracked my neck. “Maybe.”
“That’s all I get? No sordid details?”
“I don’t kiss and tell.”
“Ah, so there’s been kissing!” Kyle snapped, but then relaxed into the couch with a grin.
“I get it, man. I kept everything with me and Mads under wraps for a while, too. I know what it’s like to want to keep it close to your chest.” He studied me for a moment.
“But she’s in your head, and that’s messing with your game.
So… we may need to talk this out a little more before I let it go. ”
I nodded. “Fair.”
“You’ll see her again,” he said with confidence.
“How do you know?”
“Just because she’s injured doesn’t mean she won’t be at the field. Give her some time. You know what it feels like to get injured during the season. She’s feeling that right now.”
My heart ached. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
It was the worst feeling in the world, knowing you were losing part of a season, or potentially all of it. Of course she wanted to be alone. I’d be fucked up over it, too, if I was in her shoes.
“So don’t stress about not seeing her. You will. And my bet is she will come around and want to see you sooner than that.”
“But that’s the fucking problem,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m upset because she doesn’t want to see me, but I should be thanking her. We both signed contracts. We’ve already crossed the line, and maybe this was what we needed, a cold, hard crash back to reality.”
“Look, man. It’s probably not that serious…
for you, anyway.” Kyle sat up, folding his hands together, elbows on his knees.
“If we’re being honest, the most you’d get is a slap on the wrist if you two got caught.
However, I can’t say the same for her…” He shivered.
“Claire is no one I’d want to fuck around with. ”
“She’d be off the squad for sure.”
“Probably,” Kyle said, grimacing like he wanted to argue but knew it was the truth. “But that doesn’t mean you have to completely walk away from her if you’re both into each other. Just be careful.”
“Right. Because sneaking around is a brilliant idea.”
“It is if you like her.” Kyle paused, his eyes locked on mine and not letting me back down.
“Braden, I’ve never seen you give a shit about a girl the way you do about her, and you’re not even officially dating.
For the first time, I see you flirting with the idea of putting yourself first, of letting yourself want something, letting yourself have the joy you deserve. ”
I swallowed, not able to look at him any longer. My gaze fell to my shoes.
“If she’s the key to that, then I think it’s worth the risk.”
“What if I did lose it all,” I whispered. “What if Coach benched me and let my contract run dry, if I didn’t get picked up by another team, if it was all over?”
“Don’t get caught and you won’t have to find out.”
I shook my head, even as something inside me stirred at the prospect. I knew it was stupid and reckless, and yet my pea brain was jumping up and down with excitement like see? Kyle thinks it’s a great idea, so it probably is!
Like Kyle Robbins was the one to take sage advice from.
Then again, on the heels of his voice I heard another older, wiser one. My father’s.
What’s the best that could happen?
Before I could say another word, my phone buzzed, and I reached for it so quickly I bobbled it and caught it just before it hit the ground.
Kyle laughed. “You have got it so fucking bad.”
“Fuck you.”
“Is it her?”
Trouble: I’m alone. Can you come?
My heart leapt into my throat.
“It is, isn’t it?” Kyle smirked, clapping me on the shoulder as he stood and left me staring at the screen. “I’ll let Madelyn know you won’t be staying for dinner after all.”
And he was right.
Because she’d finally texted, and one look at it had me on my feet, keys in hand and already halfway out the door before I could think twice.