Chapter Twenty-Five #2
Darcy was like a cartoon, her eyes wide and animated as she gasped and flew back down to the floor so she could lean into my every word. Marcus just listened with a knowing smirk — he was especially excited when I told him I’d convinced Braden to help me check off items on my bucket list.
“So, yeah,” I said when I’d caught them up. “That’s where it’s at. I mean, I convinced him that technically I’m not an active member of the squad… so that’s got to be a loophole, right?”
“Sure, right,” Marcus said, lips downturned as he winked conspiratorially. “Totally.”
“And even if it’s not, we’re keeping it a secret. No one will find out.” I paused. “Except you two.”
“Well, I’m all for you getting your kicks,” Marcus said, plucking a grape from the charcuterie tray. “Especially in a car with masks on, you kinky bitch.”
I bit my lip on a wicked grin. “It was so fucking hot.”
“What else have you done off the list?”
“Well, road head was an easy one after that. I just went down on him while he drove me home.”
Marcus laughed with delight. “He didn’t crash, so that’s good, I guess?”
“He came close,” I confessed. “Made me stop until we were off the highway. And then let’s see…
” I tapped my chin, thinking about the last few weeks with Braden.
Just letting him pop into my brain had my body buzzing to life, every cell in me yearning for him.
I was ready to hop a plane to L.A. “There was sex in the kitchen, and sex in the shower, him letting me blindfold him…”
“You are truly living your best life,” Marcus said.
“I’m desperate for sixty-nine to be next,” I whispered, like someone might be listening in. “That man is a magician with his tongue.”
Marcus giggled in delight, tapping his glass to mine, and then we both turned to Darcy — who had been silent for far too long.
“Darc?” I asked, frowning. “You okay?”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. “I just… this worries me a little.”
“Me fucking a hot football player on the down low worries you?” I shook my head. “Babe, I promise — we’re being careful. No one will find out.”
“They could,” she argued. “And it’s not just that. It’s… well… the way you talk about him. How you two hang out a lot outside of having sex. Aren’t you worried you’ll… you know… catch feelings?”
And there it was — a dagger of truth to my heart.
I already am.
Those were the words I was tempted to say.
I wanted so badly to confide in my best friends, to tell them the truth — that I already had feelings for Braden that were more than just sexual.
How could I not be falling for him when I knew how big his heart was?
When I saw how much he sacrificed for his friends, his family?
When I texted him that I was alone and he raced over at record speed?
When he held me as I cried? When he braided my fucking hair, for Christ’s sake?
“Nothing to be worried about,” I said instead, the lie shaking in my chest. “We’re friends, Darcy, that’s why we share so much and hang out.
We just have fun together. But trust me — neither of us is under any disillusionment as to what this is or isn’t.
We’re sneaking around, hooking up, having fun, and eventually we’ll just let it all go. ”
“Eventually,” Marcus deadpanned. “And when exactly does that happen? End of the season? End of his contract?”
I shrugged, taking a sip while I figured out how to deflect. “Oh, we were thinking until one of us gets married. Maybe after that. Where do y’all stand on the whole cheating thing?”
Darcy flattened her lips. “Don’t joke. This is serious.”
I sighed, exasperated, hoping my smile and the way I was brushing it all off would convince them.
“Guys, we are fine. We’re racking up orgasms and enjoying our time together.
There’s no need to talk right now about what happens next.
Our biggest concern is keeping everything under wraps.
Besides, who knows where I’ll be after this season?
I may not make the team again next year, and then none of it will matter. ”
Marcus softened. “You don’t actually think that, do you?”
I laughed. “I mean… you’re telling me it hasn’t crossed your mind? I’m almost thirty,” I reminded them. “That’s not exactly prime age for NFL cheerleaders. There are going to be thousands of younger, more agile and impressive dancers trying out next year. And I’ve already proven to be a liability.”
I held up my casted hand, which made them both frown.
“It’s okay,” I promised them on a laugh. “It’s not like it’s news to me. I’ve known since I made the team that this would just be a pit stop.” I sighed, looking down at my drink. “I’ve had a lot of those in my life. I’m used to it.”
“What do you mean by that?” Darcy asked.
“I just mean this is my life.” I shrugged.
“I am an Aimless Amy. I don’t love anything that makes a lot of money or has career stability, and I refuse to do something I hate just to make ends meet, so I drift from place to place, from job to job, just…
figuring it out as I go. And I don’t mean to say this like it’s a bad thing because it’s not.
I prefer it, usually. I just…” My mouth pulled to the side as I thought.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m kind of feeling like for the first time in my life…
it might be nice to stay somewhere for a while. To plant some roots.”
“Does Seattle feel like a place you could do that?” Marcus asked.