11. Dane
Chapter 11
Dane
“How ya doing back there… buddy?” I asked the asshole who had invaded my sacred space.
Javy had strapped the pretty boy in and gone through all the procedures he needed to know and what to do if he got airsick before I taxied to the runway.
“I’m good. This is going to be so cool. Are we being filmed liked the videos online?”
I chuckled darkly. “You bet.”
I wouldn’t tell the asshole that the video was for me. I had so many plans for the snippets I was going to post online. He used to have a weak stomach, and I planned to make him lose his breakfast.
“Cool, cool. So, uh, can we talk in the air?”
Another dark chuckle. “You can try.”
As I approached the runway, I called the tower to let them know I was ready.
“Tower, Eagle 1-1, left 2-7, ready for takeoff.”
ATC called back over the radio. “Eagle 1-1, left 2-7, clear for takeoff.”
“Hey, Dane? Is it too late to tell you I forgot to go to the bathroom?”
I shook my head, knowing he was messing with me.
“Yep. But it’s okay. You’re gonna piss your flight suit, anyway.”
Lennox released a nervous giggle. “Uh, Dane? Are you still mad at me?”
“Are you still breathing?”
He released a maniacal laugh. “Yes.”
“Then I’m fucking mad. Hold on to the side grips and tense your leg muscles. And don’t you fucking dare throw up in my jet.”
“No promises.”
That was the last I heard from him for a blissful few seconds. Powering up the engines and afterburners, we tore down the runway. When we reached 173 knots, my baby lifted into the air.
“Holy shiiiitttt,” Lennox howled as we went straight up like the steepest rollercoaster ever made.
I smiled to myself, then veered into a hard right, making him squeal. When I reached altitude, I rolled us over upside down and stayed there, eliciting more howls from the backseat.
“You okay, pretty boy?”
“Fuck you, Dane. Fuck you,” he yelled, making me laugh.
I knew he was going to need the little bags soon. And within a few moments, the retching started, making me laugh.
“Fuck you,” he said weakly.
“Hey, you asked for this,” I reminded him, executing another evasive maneuver that slung us sideways.
“Fucking hell,” he groaned. “I’m sorry.”
“Too late, buddy. We’re going into a mid-Radius turn at 7 G’s. You’re going to pass out and maybe you’ll finally shut up.”
“I’m not gonna pass out,” he declared, then promptly went quiet.
“Sleep well, asshole.”
I pulled back on the throttle to slow us down, giving him the time to wake up.
“Lennox. Wake up. Lennox.”
He grunted, letting me know he was awake.
“You had enough yet?”
“No,” he groaned.
“Why did you pull this?” I asked. “We’ve got to talk to reporters when we get back, and I don’t want to talk to you now.”
He was quiet for a moment before he replied. “Can they hear us on the ground? Is there like a black box or something recording everything?”
“No one will hear this unless we crash.”
He sighed heavily. “Good. Just tell me what I can do to make it up to you, and I’ll do it. Anything. You name it.”
My heart gave a squeeze. “Why do you want to be in my life? You have teammates for that.”
I was hoping he’d say what I wanted to hear, but he just disappointed me further.
“You’re like my brother,” he said, making my heart hurt. “I miss you.”
I closed my eyes for a second and let the word sink in. Brother. Every self-preservation tool I knew was failing me.
“I’m not interested in being your friend again.”
Neither of us spoke until we pulled to a stop outside the hangar. My flight crew and Javy came out to meet us.
“Let’s get through the press, and then we don’t have to see each other again.”
I pulled off my helmet and reached for my sunglasses. There was no advantage here if I allowed him to see the hurt in my eyes.
“I’m not leaving Daniel high and dry. I know what that feels like. And Camile is my friend. So you’re going to have to learn to deal with it.”
Part of me hurt for him, but this was not the place to get into it. “Just remember, I’m his father, not you.”
I opened the hatch and unbuckled my seat belt. Putting on my glasses, I got up and climbed from my seat onto the ladder. Two steps down, I forced a smile and held out my fist for a bump.
Lennox looked at it, then reached out to touch his fingers to mine. “Good flight,” I said. “I’ll meet you inside.”
He smiled. “Wait. This is for you.”
He reached down and lifted the used airsickness bag. Holding it out to me, he gave me that smile that never failed to make my heart ache.
“For old time's sake,” he said.
“Fuck you, Lennox,” I replied, and climbed down the ladder, leaving him with his puke bag.
Two hours later, I walked out to my truck with Camile behind me. Lennox was already gone, and I just needed to leave. I didn’t want to talk about today, and I sure didn’t want to spend any more time with him.
“Dane, wait,” she said, reaching for my arm.
I stopped and blew out a heavy sigh, but didn’t turn around. “This is not a good time to talk. I need to go home, find a boxing bag, and pummel the fuck out of it.”
“I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
She walked around in front of me and cupped both sides of my face. “I need you to listen to me.”
I shook my head and took a step around her. “Stop. If you’re going to say anything about him, save it. I don’t care to hear anything else about him.”
She grabbed my arm again and pulled me back. “He doesn’t know what happened. I’ve talked to him a million times. He. Doesn’t. Know.”
I stared at her, my brow furrowed as the irrational hurt from so many years ago began to resurface. I pushed back the ache and ground my teeth together.
“How many times do I have to tell you it doesn’t matter?”
I ran my hand over my head and smothered the need to yell at someone. I looked around, searching for my son. He was with Javy, so safely out of earshot.
“What did he say?” Her quiet tone made it worse.
I scrubbed my hands over my face, needing something to do with them. But the pain in my chest and the constant anger I felt toward him made me into someone I didn’t want to be. Edgy, angry, and sad. Just fucking sad.
“He’s always going to see me as a friend. Nothing more. And no matter what I do, I can’t move on. So I’ve got to stay the fuck away from him.”
Camile’s eyes were warm and held all the sadness I felt. “He doesn’t know how you feel about him. You owe it to yourself to tell him what happened, whether anything comes of it or not. You’ll never have any peace if you don’t.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and looked up. I knew she was right. She always was. But I wasn't sure I was strong enough to have the love of my life tell me he only thought of me as a brother if I opened myself up like that.
“Give him a chance.” She ran her hands up and down my arms to soothe me. “He misses you so much. You’re all he talks about.”
My right hand went to the back of my neck where a headache was forming. That’s what Lennox did to me.
“I don’t know.”
“Come to the beach and talk to him. Get it off your chest. I guarantee you’ll feel better.”
The sound of footsteps on the pavement caught my attention. I turned to find Daniel running our way with Javy behind him.
“Dad. Are we going to the beach now?”
I ran my hand over his head. “Later. I’ve got some work to do.”
He grinned up at me. “Okay. Lennox is coming. He’s bringing a football. He’s gonna teach me to throw it.”
I smiled at his excitement. “That’s nice. He’s a good passer.”
Daniel bounced on his feet, ready to go.
“Go with your mom, and I’ll see you later.”
Camile put her hand on my shoulder. “Six o’clock?”
I nodded. “Sounds good.”
As they got in the car, I knew I was going to disappoint my son for the first time. And that just made things worse.