15. Dane
Chapter 15
Dane
I spent my days on autopilot, constantly analyzing and reanalyzing everything with Lennox. I was trained to think on my feet and go with my gut, but this was different.
I’d been shocked to find him glaring at me on my doorstep, but when he pinned me to the wall, it reminded me of all those times we reenacted the WWE matches on my bed. It’s a wonder one of us didn’t break our necks.
After finding his text on my phone, it set off a whole new round of nausea and regret. And when I discovered the frame by the door, I knew he’d seen it, and that he was right. This wasn’t over. And I didn’t want it to be. Walking away had been stupid, but it was the only way I had to protect myself. And I’d missed him the minute I closed the door.
Lennox and I knew each other better than two people ever could. And even though we hadn’t seen each other for years, verbally sparring with him was the first time I’d felt at peace. And unfortunately, as dumb as it sounded, the asshole completed me.
God damn, I sounded like a motherfucking cheesy movie line.
I’d postponed my days with Daniel with the excuse that I had a stomach bug. I hated losing time with him, but I need time to process the colossal cluster fuck I’d found myself in.
Three days in, my sickness excuse no longer held water. I knew I needed to vent to someone about all the shit going through my head, but Javy was straight and had no experience with relationships that I knew of. He was a great wingman for getting laid, but not for the shitstorm from Hurricane Lennox.
I could talk to Camile, or my sister Elle. I was thankful to have these beautiful women as a support system. How has my life turned so upside down?
Lennox had always held that spot. Back in the day, he would have been the one I would’ve spilled my guts to. Just like when my high school girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I always wanted to double date with Lennox and whoever he was with.
And that was just sad.
Because in hindsight, it wasn’t her I wanted to be with at all.
It was him.
“Fucking hell, goddamn shit!” I yelled as I pummeled the punching bag. Thank god I was alone in the workout room, and no one was here to witness this.
When I’d finally exhausted myself, I pulled off the boxing gloves and tossed them down. Dropping onto the mat, I stared at the ceiling fans whirling overhead as I cooled down.
I couldn’t go on this way. We’d left too many things unsaid, and I had to know how he felt about what we’d done.
Why had I let him talk me into that?
But the truth was it wasn’t his fault. I fell into his green eyes like an idiot and got high on the intimate proximity. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like that.
But that wasn’t true. I knew exactly when I’d felt that way.
Getting to my feet, I grabbed my phone and stared at the message again. He was right. We weren’t over. And never would be until we talked this thing out. If nothing came of what happened the other night, I could try to be friends with him again. It would hurt like hell, but the choice was simple. Either have Lennox in my life or go on without him. And that wasn’t acceptable.
Deep down, I knew no one would ever fill the massive hole he left behind in my life.
No one had ever turned my world upside down while simultaneously putting me at ease.
No one would ever fill his size thirteen shoes in my life. I didn’t laugh with anyone the way I laughed with him. Somehow, I’d forgotten who I was without him. My friends had never seen me truly happy. They’d only seen the shell of me without my heart and soul because that belonged to Lennox. When I’d kicked him out of my life twelve years ago, he’d taken it with him. And that was one hundred percent my fault.
Not his.
Tapping on the screen, I typed out the most innocuous message I could muster.
Me: You moved my frame.
There. I’d done it. That wasn’t so difficult.
Kernal Sanders: Who dis?
Goddamn, Lennox. He never made anything easy.
Me: Motherfucker
Kernal Sanders: Oh, Dane! Good to hear from you, buddy.
I rolled my eyes but fought the stupid smirk trying to form on my face.
Me: Why are you still like this? Why haven’t you grown up yet?
Kernal Sanders: Growing up is overrated. You should really loosen up.
Kernal Sanders: Besides, you love me anyway.
My face heated in embarrassment.
Me: What makes you think that?
Kernal Sanders: You reached out first.
Me: Technically, that was you.
The dots appeared, then stopped, only to start again.
Kernal Sanders: Okay. You’re right. I did.
Me: Always am.
Kernal Sanders: That used to be true. But not anymore.
Me: When was I wrong?
Kernal Sanders: A lot lately.
Me: I think you’re wrong.
Kernal Sanders: See? Wrong again.
I rolled my eyes again, but the asshole was breaking down the iron wall I’d built around my heart.
Kernal Sanders: BTW- I think YOUR contact should be Kernal Sanders.
Me: I’m afraid to ask why.
Kernal Sanders: Easy. You’re the chicken in this relationship. Bwak-bwak!
Me: Why’s that?
Kernal Sanders: Well, besides being wrong about so many things, you’re afraid of me.
Me: I am NOT afraid of you.
Kernal Sanders: Oh you are, Dane baby. You are.
My stupid traitorous heart began to thunder at the simple four-letter word.
Me: Am not.
Kernal Sanders: Then why didn’t you just tell me?
Kernal Sanders: I don’t bite.
Kernal Sanders: Unless you want me to. ??
I put my phone down to prevent myself from saying something stupid or smiling like an idiot. But I knew I had no self-control when it came to Lennox—never had, and probably never would.
Kernal Sanders: Bwak-bwak, Daney-boy. Bwak-bwak! ????
Me: Motherfucker
Kernal Sanders: There you are!
I laughed to myself. My face hurt already.
Me: I’m pleading the fifth.
Kernal Sanders: Why? I already know. But there’s something you don’t know.
I was a strong man, but this shit right here, Lennox’s smart mouth and the way he drew me in like a fly to honey, was my weakness. I could defend my country and protect a ground offensive without blinking an eye. But Lennox Sanders was a different battle all together.
Me: Again. Not sure I want to know.
Kernal Sanders: You do, Dane. You do.
Fluttery feelings in my gut made my skin heat as the dots started and stopped. Then started again.
Kernal Sanders: Don’t you? You can tell me.
Me: Right now I fucking hate you.
Kernal Sanders: Oooh, like the other night? That was hot.
I couldn’t take this. He was going to either give me a stroke or make me cum in my shorts.
Me: What. Do. You. Want.
Kernal Sanders: ??
Kernal Sanders: You, Dane. Just you.
I stared at those four words and that stupid emoji, trying to figure out what he meant.
How should I respond to that?
Or should I respond at all?
As I thought about what to say, I finally decided on something simple.
Me: For what?
Kernal Sanders: I’m pretty sure everything. But let’s start with dinner.
Okay, I was having a stroke.
Maybe I’d already had it and was passed out on the floor.
Or I was dreaming.
Yeah. I was dreaming.
Kernal Sanders: And you’re buying for flaking out on my Super Bowl. You owe me like five grand worth of your attention.
Okay. Not dreaming. And what the fuck did that mean?
Me: Fine.
I was grinning like a kid. The same kid who fell for him two decades ago.
Me: Name the time and place.
Kernal Sanders: Your place in two weeks.
I frowned down at my phone. Two weeks?
Kernal Sanders: I have to pick up my buddy in the morning from the airport. And we have training camp.
The nerves that had been threatening to make me puke, settled. Maybe he wasn’t catfishing me.
Me: Sounds good.
Kernal Sanders: No, Dane. You’re supposed to say it’s a date.
I tried not to smile, but I was alone, so what the hell?
Me: It’s a date.
Kernal Sanders: By the way, do you put out on the first date?
Kernal Sanders: Oops, my bad. You already did.
Me: I fucking hate you.
Kernal Sanders: No you don’t. You fucking love me, remember?
Me: Maybe I’ll get amnesia.
Kernal Sanders: I’ll just remind you until you remember, babe.
And I was officially gone. What the fuck was going on?
Me: Lennox, what are we doing here?
Kernal Sanders: Picking up where we should have been twelve years ago.
Me: Where is that?
I held my breath as the dots bounced on the screen, then suddenly stopped. When it rang, I fumbled it to the floor.
Scooping it up, I was sweating all over again. And when Kernal Sanders appeared on the display, I considered not answering it.
Fucking hell, Calloway. It’s only Lennox.
“Hello?”
“Took you long enough. You were thinking about not answering, weren’t you?”
His deep chuckle made me smile. I both hated and loved that he knew me so well.
“I considered it.”
“I knew it,” he crowed. “Some things never change. Do they?”
“I guess not,” I murmured into the phone.
Neither of us said anything for a beat. I let it sink in he was on the other end and I could hear his breathing.
“Thanks for reaching out.”
I nodded to myself. “I’m the one who ended our friendship. And threw you out again the other night. Seemed like the right thing to do.”
“It was Dane. And if you hadn’t, I would’ve come to you.”
Long-buried emotions came bubbling to the surface, and I was sure Lennox knew.
“Listen,” he said quietly. “On a serious note, you should know I’m learning a lot of new things about myself. For the record, I’ve never done this kind of thing with anyone. Man or woman. So I’m going to need you to be patient with me.”
“Yeah. I can do that.” I paused a moment before going on. “Does this seem strange to you? Whatever this is between us?”
Lennox chuckled. “It probably should, but it doesn’t. I’ve tried to freak out from the moment I left your condo, but I can’t. I’m just kinda happy.”
He never failed to surprise me. “That’s good I suppose.”
We were quiet for another beat before he spoke.
“It is Dane. So what do you say we start from the beginning?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “And where would that be?”
Lennox chuckled. “Graduation night. Before we got drunk. We have twelve years of friendship to rebuild.”
My face heated. “I think we can do that.”
“Me too. Can we talk while I’m at camp?”
I grinned into the phone, even though he couldn’t see me. “Sure.”
“Okay,” he said quietly. I could hear the smile in his words. “We’re gonna do this right and figure this thing out together.”
A sense of familiar peace settled inside me. “I’m in.”
“Oh, and by the way, how about you change my contact to BF instead of Kernal Sanders? It’s more accurate.”
I knew he was waiting for me to ask what it meant, but I didn’t. He could squirm like I had. “Sure thing. Talk soon.”
I ended the call with the sound of his laughter in my ear.