26. Lennox
Chapter 26
Lennox
After cleaning up, we got into the pool and relaxed for a while. We sat shoulder to shoulder, listening to music from the outdoor sound system while the blue sky transformed into a color palette of purple, pink, and orange.
Leaning back, I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him closer.
Dane drifted his fingers over my thigh, then circled my knee. The brush of someone’s fingertips had never consumed me as his did. Every touch ignited a fire under my skin that only he could extinguish.
I needed more of him.
More touches, more time, more everything.
It hadn’t taken me long to figure out he was the love of my life. The more time I spent with him, the sooner I realized it was him I’d been chasing all those years ago. And as much as I loved football and my career, maybe it wasn’t the only thing I had in my life after all.
I was content to stay right here, listening to music as the night sky filled with stars. But I could tell he had something on his mind.
“We’ve not even been here a day, and I’m already missing you.”
I knew he still had reservations about us. And I got that. But I needed to take his worries away. “We’re going to make this work. But right now, we need to live in this moment instead of worrying about what’s to come.”
He nodded. “I don’t know why I’m feeling so off-kilter. You know I’m not a needy person. But with you, I don’t recognize the man I am now.”
“I recognize you,” I whispered. “You’re the kid who used to beat my ass at chess, then turn around and teach me how to beat you. The only time in my fucking life that I ever felt secure was when I was with your family. The only time I thought I was more than what my parents saw was when I was with you.”
He chuckled. “You give me too much credit.”
“I don’t think so. All you have to do is look at Daniel to see what a great father you are. And your relationship with Camile. That’s pretty great.”
“Yeah, well. We’ll see how he feels about us when he’s a teenager. That will be the test.”
I hoped the us he referred to included me. But before I could ask, my stomach rumbled.
“I guess we should get out and make dinner,” he said, then placed a kiss on my chest.
I caught his face and kissed him properly before letting him go.
Dane stood, then turned to me. “Come on, QB. We’re doing this together.”
He held out his hand. I guess he needed my touch as badly as I needed his.
“Manual labor has never sounded more attractive.”
One side of his face inched up into a smirk. “You’ll be rewarded later.”
I grinned. “I’m counting on it.”
We got out of the pool to dry off. Both still naked, I took the opportunity to admire his ass before slipping back into our shorts.
Dane didn’t comment on my obvious appraisal of his glutes, but that was okay.
Heading into the kitchen, he pulled out two beers from the refrigerator, then ingredients for a salad to go with the steaks he sat out earlier. He popped the lid off a bottle, and then handed it to me before doing the same to his.
“Taking care of me already,” I teased.
Dane leaned against the countertop. He took a swallow of his beer but never took his eyes off me. “Someone needs to. Guess it should be me.”
I snickered at his comment. “You’ve always been the one taking care of me. I should be taking care of you.”
He pulled at the paper on his bottle. “You do, Lennox. You just don’t realize it.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You never hesitate to show your affection and warmth. Whether it’s to Daniel, or Camile, and especially to me. You might irritate the fuck out of me, but I know why you do it.”
I bit my lip and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’ll bite. Why do you think I like to irritate you?”
Dane put his bottle on the counter and closed the distance. When he stopped, I could feel the heat from his body along my naked torso. It was difficult to keep my hands off him, but I could try.
The smell of the chlorine on his skin, combined with the scent of the beer, made my blood rush south. Again.
He leaned in and braced his arms on the counter, effectively caging me in. I was so intoxicated by him, that I’d almost forgotten the question.
“No matter what type of reaction you get from me, it’s a win. You pay attention to the little things and show love the way you want to be loved. Your parents never deserved you. And despite how they treated you, somehow that big heart of yours loves unconditionally.”
“You make me sound like a good person,” I teased, trying to avoid the emotional avalanche he could set off.
Dane leaned closer and ran the tip of his nose along my cheek. He stopped before our lips touched. “You are. And I’ll return that unconditional love if you’ll let me.”
I couldn’t hold back any longer. My self-control was shit when it came to Dane.
Closing the space between us, I leaned in and took his mouth with mine. My arms snaked around him and his went around my neck.
We stood in the kitchen, kissing like two teenagers in love. And I guess we were. We were making up for lost time.
When the music changed, I stood up straight and held him to my chest. The song could have been about us as we swayed together, barefoot in the kitchen. The lyrics to the popular song spoke of being together until the end. And that’s what I wanted with him.
Dane ended our kiss but didn’t let go of me. We moved to the music, content to be in each other’s arms.
“When did you first know?”
He shifted and looked into my eyes. I’d asked this question before, but he didn’t respond. But this time, he did.
“Our freshman year when we played Southmont High School, and you went after their safety for a dirty hit.”
I growled at the memory. “I should have ripped his head off.”
Dane kissed my cheek. “You being suspended for two games was enough.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I argued. “The only good thing to come of it was I got to stay out with you.”
He looked at me like I’d missed the point. And maybe I had.
“You got yourself kicked out of the game to go to the hospital with me. And you stayed in my room on the floor for three days until I could move around without being dizzy.”
The memory of those days still scared the shit out of me. I was so afraid he wouldn’t be okay.
“Anyone would have done that,” I replied.
Dane shook his head.“No they wouldn’t. Anyone else would have left my care to my parents. But not you. You took me to the bathroom and helped me shower. Every time I moved at night, you popped up like a Jack-in-the-box. It was funny, but I didn’t laugh because it made my head hurt.”
Tightening my hold, I breathed him in. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
He ran his hands over my skin. “I know,” he whispered, hugging me to him. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“You’re not allowed to die before me. Just saying.”
He sifted his fingers through my hair, the same way I did him when he had a headache. “Why’s that?”
A wave of panic and unexplored grief welled up inside me. There were so many things I didn’t understand about my life, but Dane was the one constant who made things better. Who made me feel whole and at peace. “Because I know I can’t live without you again.”
He stepped back and slipped from my arms. I hung my head and gripped onto the granite countertop. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without him touching me.
Relief came when he put his hands on my face and forced me to look at him. “Lennox, baby. I’ll never leave you on purpose. My job will take me away, and it can be dangerous. But hear me when I say I’ve never left you.”
Unshed tears filled my eyes. “You left me for twelve years. We missed everything in each other’s lives. College, the draft, living together in our own apartment. All our plans went up in smoke. We missed it all. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m tired of always being on guard and wondering when I’m going to be enough for someone. Me, the man. Not Lennox Sanders, the quarterback. Just me.”
Dane stared into my eyes as I unloaded all my garbage on him. It would only be a matter of time before he got tired of my bullshit. And I didn’t blame him.
“All I can do is prove to you how much I love you. I’m sorry I fed your insecurities about your parents, and that was my fault. But I couldn’t imagine you ever loving me like this. I’ve been on autopilot all these years, allowing it to balance my life without the biggest missing piece of my soul. I have a beautiful son and I couldn’t make it work with his mother… because she wasn’t you. And I’ve been mad as hell because you didn’t love me the way I loved you. So don’t think you’re the only fucked up one in this relationship, because I’m going to give you a run for your money.”
I blinked at him as tears ran down my face. It took a minute for me to process his words. I couldn’t fathom how he could have been as messed up over me as I was with him. But I’d gone too long without him to stand there without touching the person I loved more than anyone or anything.
Reaching for him, he came willingly into my arms. I held him tightly as we let go of our past in order to embrace our future. I need to seal the deal on this commitment.
“I’m never leaving you, Lieutenant. I’m going to stick to you like… like… a barnacle.” It was all I could think of.
Dane shook with laughter in my arms, then pulled back to look at me. “You know you just earned yourself a new nickname, right?”
I ran my fingers through his hair. “I don’t care what you call me, as long as it means you’re mine.”
He fisted my hair in his hands and pulled back. “Then I better get started on that… if you can wait for dinner.”
My pulse ticked up as he took my earlobe in his mouth. Shivers quaked over my body and I was raring to go. “I’ll wait until tomorrow if I need to. But I’m gonna need you to keep your promise now.”
Dane kissed me hard on the mouth, and I felt his erection through his shorts. “Have you done anal before?”
With the serious, almost feral look in his eye, I wasn’t sure what the right answer was, but I went with the truth. “Yes. I was the quarterback, not the receiver.”
I winked at him, but he got the idea.
Dane knew how to speak my language because it had been our language at one point. “Time to call an audible. Tonight I’m going to be the quarterback, and you can be the tight end.”
I shivered in anticipation. “Put me in coach. I’m ready to play.”