30. Lennox
Chapter 30
Lennox
Dane sat across from me as I read message after message. I could hear his voice in every text. The inflection, the tone, and most of all, the pain. It was a terrible feeling to know that I’d torn him apart, but I was fucking proud of how he’d succeeded in life.
After I read the last one, I looked up at him with new eyes.
“When we were growing up, I used to look at you and wonder what you saw that made you want to be my friend. For the longest time, I thought you felt sorry for me. But this,” I said, holding the phone up, “tells me that wasn’t true.”
Dane shook his head. “I never felt sorry for you, Lennox. I looked up to you and marveled at how easily you made friends. How you took that shit life your parents handed you and still put a smile on for everyone else. I felt special that I was the only person you let see the cracks.”
“I wish I’d been there to see your first flight.”
He smiled. “I wish I’d been in the green room when you got drafted, instead of watching on TV.”
I chuckled as a tear leaked down my face. “I wish that too. And I can’t believe you came to graduation, and I didn’t know it.”
Dane wiped at a tear. “I was proud of you. Mad as fuck too, but always proud of the things you accomplished. Only took four years to go from hurt to anger.”
He looked at me, then moved over to sit beside me.
I reached for his hand and laced our fingers together.
“I hope you see I never stopped loving you. And I’ve never really left you. My mother is your biggest fan. And even when I didn’t want to hear about you, she found a way to keep me informed.”
I chuckled. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah. I got them all. Did you hear Lennox broke the NCAA record for passing yards in a single game? Did you know he asks about you every time he comes over? ”
I laughed at his impression of his mother.
He squeezed my hand. “I didn’t know you still visited them.”
I nodded. “Only until I graduated from college. Made me feel like I was still part of your life.”
Dane looked at me. “You’ll always be part of my life.”
I hesitated, wondering if this was the time to bring it up, but like the bulldozer I was, I said it anyway.
“You say that, and it makes me wonder why you won’t consider marrying me. That’s the only way I’ll know.”
Dane put his head back on the sofa and sighed. He was frustrated with me. “I never said I wouldn’t. But we’ve been together for two seconds. And I have my kid to think about.”
“I get that,” I said. But there was another option. “Then move in with me. Sell your condo, and move in here. It’s crazy to pay all that when I have all this room. And I can water your plants when you’re off flying around.”
He laughed. “I can always give you a key.”
Now I sighed. “That’s not the point. I was selling you on the perks. Like sleeping in our bed every night, and waking up to a morning blowie.”
“Now you’re talking perks. And as wonderful as it sounds, it’s not that simple.”
He was going to make me beg. Or cry. I wasn’t beyond either of those. But it all boiled down to he didn’t get it.
I got up from the sofa and headed to the kitchen. I was hurt and he knew it.
“Lennox,” he called. “Don’t be this way.”
I turned and looked at him. “What way? In love for the first time in my life? In love with you? Or hurt that you won’t take me seriously? Did you ever consider I might be a little afraid you might change your mind about me? But here I am, putting it all on the line for you.”
He curled in his lips and ran a hand over his head. “No dammit. I take us very seriously. I just need a minute to put my life in order.”
I propped my hands on my hips and leaned against the cabinet. Staring at the floor, I knew I had to get a hold of the emotions.
Dane approached and opened his arms. I walked into them without a second thought. When I was in his arms, I felt like I could breathe again.
“I’m sorry for being a needy bastard.”
He chuckled. “You’re not needy. You’re insecure. We both are. And it’s going to take some time for both of us to get over that. The more time we spend together, the easier it will become.”
Dane was right. He usually was.
“I know you’re right, but can I ask a favor?”
He pulled his head back and looked at me. “What do you need?”
“Can you please spend the night with me? I’m not ready to be alone.”
I gave him my most pitiful face that I knew he’d fall for.
“If you go with me to buy groceries. I have Daniel tomorrow.”
“Cool. Tomorrow’s my day at the Youth Center.”
“You really enjoy that, don’t you?”
I grinned. “Hell yeah. Tomorrow we are making brownies, from scratch.”
He laughed. “I guess I’m not picking him up early.”
“You could always come help. How awesome would that be?”
“I can do that. But we better go get what we need.”
I kissed his face. “I have a better idea. Let’s order them online and have them delivered here. Then we can get back to the important things.”
“Like what?”
I snorted. “Make-up sex. Duh. We just had our first fight. And I hear it’s great.”
Dane rolled his eyes at me and took out his phone. But he wasn’t fooling me. Under all that scowling he was doing, he didn’t put up one little argument.
“Fine,” he scowled. “But you’re making me dinner, and we’re going swimming in that big pool of yours.”
“Deal. And you’ll stay the night?”
He tried not to smile but failed miserably. “Yes, I’ll stay.”
I rolled up to practice, thirty minutes early to get in some extra cardio. With our first pre-season game coming up, I wanted the offense to roll like a well-oiled machine. Plus, I liked to spend some time with my backup to work on drawing the defense offsides with a hard count.
Before I tossed my bag into my locker, I checked my phone to make sure I hadn’t missed a text or a call. I found myself doing that quite a bit now that Dane was back in my life. And it just made me happy.
Opening my messages, I sent him a quick one.
Me: Heading into practice. I’ll meet you at the YC at three.
Dane: Sounds good. Later.
Me: Later, baby.
Turning off my phone, I put my bag in the locker drawer. When I turned around, I met Evan walking in the door. He had his bag over his shoulder and his face in his phone. He was grinning like a loon, and I could understand why.
“What’s got you grinning like that?” I asked.
He looked up. “Hey. Hudson sent a video of Jack running the 40.” He held his phone out to me. “Watch. He’s gonna be a hell of a receiver.”
I watched the video of Hudson’s son while he put away his bag. “I don’t know, Ev. I think he’s got quarterback written all over him. He’s tall and can scramble. Reminds me of Fran Tarkenton from Minnesota.”
Evan frowned. “You think so? Look how long his arms are.”
“I know, but with his speed, he’ll be more valuable as a quarterback who can run. Like me.”
He rolled his eyes as I handed him the phone. “No matter what, the kid has talent. Next time they come down, let’s get him down here after a game and see what he can do.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said as we headed toward the field. “I’m sure he’d love it.”
“I’m glad his dad is going to let him play.”
“Yeah, me?—”
His sentence was interrupted by the sound of two grown men yelling at one another. And one had a thick Australian accent.
We stopped at the mouth of the tunnel to see what was going on. Carson was giving the Aussie another lesson in football.
“God damn it, how many times do I have to tell you that you can’t do that? This is not rugby. It’s foot-ball.”
The Aussie stood with a smirk on his face as Carson stomped around raising and lowering his arms. He looked like a drum major from a marching band.
“I’m not drongo .”
Carson stopped and narrowed his eyes before getting in the Aussie’s face. “What the fuck does that mean?”
Colin just grinned at him and got nose-to-nose. “Stupid.” Then kissed him on the nose.
Carson lost his shit as the Aussie doubled over laughing.
“I give the fuck up!” Carson yelled and stomped toward us. When he got within earshot, I tried to calm him down.
“Hey, buddy. How’s it?—-”
“Fuck off, Lennox,” he barked as he walked by.
Evan’s eyes widened as they zipped to me.
I raised my hand to wavy. “Good talk, buddy. You go cool off somewhere. Like Canada.”
My curiosity got the best of me, and I had to know what was going on. As the captain of the team, it was my job to see if I could help.
Colin was wiping his eyes as we approached.
“What was that all about?” I asked.
He started laughing again but got himself under control. “He’s just so high-strung. Like a ram that needs his balls removed.”
I got a mental picture of Carson having his balls removed and winced.
“Maybe we can help,” Evan offered. “What is it that you don’t understand?”
He waved his hand in the air. “I understand. I just like fucking with him.”
Oh boy. “Okay, then. Just try not to make him have an aneurysm. We need him.”
“He needs a pint and a good lay.”
Evan and I laughed. This was going to be a hell of a ride.
After practice, Carson walked over from his locker and sat in the chair in front of mine.
“I’m sorry about earlier. You know I didn’t mean it.” He gritted his teeth. “He just drives me out of my fucking mind.”
I glanced up at Evan as he collected his bag, then turned back to Carson.
“It’s okay, buddy. I knew you didn’t mean it.”
His head bobbed before looking up. “I need a beer and a burger. You guys interested?”
Evan smiled. “I can’t. I have a cooking class to get to.”
I frowned. “Cooking class?”
“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his neck. “Preston’s been teaching me some basics so I can cook for Hudson.”
I grinned as the memory of a particular incident came to mind.
“What about you, Lennox? You up for a beer?”
“I’m supposed to be at the Youth Center at three. Can I get a rain check?”
He sighed in his reply. “Sure. Next time.”
He got to his feet and walked over to his locker. Before Dane, I would have been all over going out with a teammate.
As I pulled out my phone, a text from Dane came across the screen.
Dane: Brownies are a no-go. Daniel came home sick from school.
Me: Shit. That’s bad. What’s wrong?
Dane: Stomach thing. Both ends.
Eww. Reluctantly, I’d keep my distance.
Me: Tell him I hope he feels better.
Dane: I will.
Me: I’m gonna grab a beer with St. James. He had a rough day with the Aussie.
Dane: Have fun. Text me later.
Me: Will do. Call me if you need me to go by the store.
Dane: Thanks.
I pocketed my phone and then looked at Carson.
“Hey, St. James? Wanna go play some catch with some kids? I’ll buy you a beer and a burger afterward.”
Carson seemed to consider it, then sighed. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”
“I’ll meet you in the parking lot,” I said and walked out the door.