Chapter 11 #2
That’s not entirely true. He hasn’t seen my ass. Or the gun I keep back there in the holster. I feel slightly panicked that he’s going to call me out, but I don’t think it shows on my face. “I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right out. Dig in.”
I don’t wait for him to agree. I just head through the bathroom door, closing it behind me.
This is all starting to feel like it’s a lot. Hiding myself is no problem. I’ve spent months undercover. But something about him makes me want to spill every single hidden truth. It’s dangerous, these feelings, but the spell this man has on me is wild. Uncontrollable.
Feral.
I take in a trembling breath and glance at myself before shimmying out of my jeans. I look almost as tired as Leaf does. It’s part of the job, but something about this one feels…heavier.
The holster comes off next, and I check my gun quickly before wrapping it up in the denim fabric, hoping he doesn’t try to rummage in my pockets for anything in the middle of the night.
The sweats don’t fit as well as my own, but they’re comfortable enough, so I quickly use the bathroom, wash my hands, then bring my dangerous ball of clothes with me back to the bedroom.
Leaf has moved himself to the far side of the bed, leaving the side by the door open for me. He can’t possibly know, but the fact that it was instinctual to give me that spot…it feels like it means something.
“Are you hungry?” he asks.
I am, but not exactly for food. I don’t want to ask him for more though. He still looks exhausted, and I can’t imagine his arms feel like doing any more working out after all that digging.
“I’m alright.”
He pulls the blanket back, and I glance over to make sure he’s eaten enough before setting the jeans down on the floor beside me.
I take off my hearing aids next, letting them drop to the nightstand.
In the dull quiet of his bedroom, I’m missing the sounds of his breathing—those small, subtle noises that will always be lost to me.
But I can hear him shift—the way he pats the bed, waiting for me, and the way he laughs when I roll my eyes again.
I give him a long, careful look before sliding in between the sheets and resting against the pillows he’s very obviously fluffed up while he was waiting for me to be done.
His body immediately curls into mine, and his chin tips up so he can look at me.
“Hello,” I murmur.
He grins, his eyes crinkled in the corners. “Is it weird that I’m so into you?”
“Why would it be weird?”
“Well, you’re a stalker for one,” he says, ticking the answer off on his finger. “Two, you’re an arms dealer for the dark web—”
“I’m not an arms dealer for anything,” I tell him. I can’t give him the exact truth, but I can kill at least one of the lies. “I just happen to know people who can procure things.”
He goes quiet. “Why’d you answer my request, then?”
“Because I wanted to see what kind of man you were after hearing about Michael.”
Leaf’s eyes close, and he grows tense, falling back against the headboard, his breathing a little shallow. Fuck, could this be the moment I’ve been waiting for? “Fucking Michael,” he whispers, and I read the words off his lips.
I take a chance. A leap. “Do you have Michael locked up somewhere, Leaf? Are you going to kill—”
“Look,” Leaf says, dropping his hands and looking directly at me, “I know I sound insane. I mean, I think I might actually be out of my mind. I’ve never been this chaotic before, but my entire life flipped upside down after I burned out and…
I don’t know. This whole farm that I didn’t want and a house full of shit I don’t need…
it’s all a lot.” He stops and swallows heavily.
“And to make matters worse, I don’t really have family.
No good family, I mean. They’re…not nice. ”
My heart twists in my chest, but I can relate. “I know that feeling.”
He laughs a bit and shakes his head. “I figured you did. Anyway, I…I don’t know. I thought I could do this. I called it an adventure, but then Michael showed up on my property one night and decided to make my life a living hell.”
I stare, afraid to say anything to stop him, but also afraid to hear his confession. I take his hand instead and gently trace his fingers with mine.
“It’s like he saw me and said, ‘Look at this poor bastard inheriting something he has no idea what to do with. I’m going to sabotage everything he is so he will never know peace.
’ God.” He scrubs a hand down his face and sighs.
“He usually shows up when I’m asleep and destroys everything new I put in the ground.
He digs holes all over the fucking yard.
I swear to god he’s watching me during the day, waiting for me to fall into one and break my fucking ankles. ”
Relief pounds through me. I mean, none of it really makes sense, but part of it does. Unless he’s about to say he finally took Michael and locked him up somewhere…
“I know I shouldn’t be using TNT or whatever to deal with this problem.
I know there are better ways to deal with pests.
I just…I feel like I’m at my wit’s end. The other night, when I clocked you with the croquet mallet?
I really did think he’d finally gotten into my house and had come to kill me with a zucchini. ”
I touch Leaf’s jaw and draw his gaze back to mine before lifting his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles.
He sighs, smiling softly at me. “You make everything better, you know? I was not expecting you.”
I stare at him and stroke his cheek. “I wasn’t expecting you either.”
“And really, if I had Michael in a cage, I would have taken care of my problem then and there.”
My mind buzzes. I still don’t think Michael is a groundhog. I think he’s a man—probably one of the farmers a couple of miles down the road who doesn’t want a new person coming in here to take away their piece of the market.
And I think in the process, Leaf got in over his head and lost his grip for a while. But maybe I can help him find it. “I think you need sleep.”
“And I think you need a blowjob. Or a hand job. Or my ass—my ass is definitely available.”
I can’t help myself. I lean in and kiss him, slow, soft, pressing. My tongue pushes along his until his entire body relaxes, and then I pull back. “Tomorrow.”
Because there can be a tomorrow. Because tonight, he can sleep, and we can wake up together.
I can deal with the rest after.
My big case is obviously gone, but maybe there’s something better taking its place. After all, I have a life to live when I turn in my badge and gun. Maybe this can be part of it.
If, when I tell him the whole truth, he can find it in him to forgive me for all the lies about how we met.
I’ve become an even lighter sleeper than usual, thanks to my hearing loss.
Nothing makes me feel worse than the thought that I might miss something.
I’ve tried sleeping with my hearing aids in—my audiologist told me plenty of people did that—but they’re uncomfortable and always manage to die in the middle of the night.
So now I’ve started to become hyperaware of movement around me. And right now is no different.
I go from completely asleep with Leaf in my arms to wide-awake in seconds. It takes me a beat to realize that Leaf is scrambling from the bed and shouting something, and it takes my failing ears a few extra moments to catch most of what he’s saying.
“…here! Going to…right now…little fucker!”
I snag his arm as he tangles in the bedsheets, trying to get to the floor. “Leaf, wait. What the fuck is happening?”
He turns to me as he untwists his feet from the sheet and lifts one hand to spell, ‘Michael. He’s here.’
He’s here. He’s here? “He’s inside the house?” Oh god, just what I need. A fucking intruder.
Leaf doesn’t respond, darting out of the bedroom. Fuck, he’s probably going to grab that bat with the nails in it, and while he can probably plead self-defense, it’s not a guarantee here.
He’s long gone before I get my feet on the floor, but just as I do, I feel the vibration of the front door slamming, and panic sets in. I need to stop him before he does something bad. Something he can’t come back from.
Grabbing my jeans, I yank them hard, and they unravel, my gun clattering to the ground in the holster. I’m well practiced at this. I flip the snap open, and it’s in my hand with the safety off as I start running. I don’t have my badge, but fuck it. I can get that later if I need to.
The important part is stopping what’s about to happen.
The only thing I can hope for in this moment is that Michael doesn’t have a weapon.
I have no description of him, no idea what I’m about to face, but I’m ready for anything.
Skidding out the open front door, I run barefoot into the dirt and follow the sounds of Leaf shouting.
I can barely hear them, but I see a flash of movement and realize he’s by the barn.
Leaf’s got a flashlight in one hand and the mallet in another. He gives an inhuman scream and lifts the mallet above his head just as I shout, “Freeze!” and point my gun.
Leaf stops, standing with his hands in the air, his eyes swiveling this way and that.
And then I realize there’s no one else there.
Well, no other person, anyway.
Instead, I see a hole in the ground and a furry, brown little head sticking up. In its mouth is a fat zucchini between long rodent teeth. The creature’s beady eyes fix on my face, and then the squash falls out of its mouth. Between one blink and the next, it’s gone.
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.
Michael really is a fucking groundhog.
A moment later, I’m blinded by a bright light. I blink wildly as a heavy silence falls over us. Slowly, Leaf lowers the flashlight as I do the same with my gun.
As my vision returns to normal, I see Leaf moving toward me. I tense up for a moment before realizing every single thing he’s told me is right.
He never lied.
Yes, he tried to buy illegal explosives from the web, but that was the worst of his crimes.
I see his chest expand, then deflate on an exhale, and his mouth twists into something like a mockery of a smile. He scratches the back of his head, then drops the mallet beside his feet on the ground.
I step closer to hear him when I see him open his mouth and take another breath.
“Well,” he says. I watch his lips carefully. He’s not signing. “I think we need to talk.”