Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LEAF
“Thom just messaged,” I say, sitting outside on the porch with Thorne. The apples are being harvested today, and I like watching the large machines move through the rows collecting them. “He wants us to go out clubbing tonight.”
“That sounds miserable,” Thorne says, his hands massaging my calves. My legs are propped up on his thighs, and we’re drinking lemonade.
“It is, but it will also be fun, I think. Maybe dance some of the stress away.”
Thorne eyes me. “If that’s what you want to do, we totally can. Might help to get out of this graveyard.”
I snort. “I hate that you might mean that literally. And, yeah. The less time with potential dead bodies, the better. When will you call this in?”
“When I have more evidence. So far, all I have are old shoes and a hunch.”
I pat his leg gently. “Well, then it seems like clubbing might be the best answer to all our problems. Nothing like burying your head in the sand.”
“Hate the beach, but yeah. Let’s do it.”
I grab my phone and shoot off a message to Thom, letting him know that we’ll be there. Thom replies with a thumbs-up and then a picture of Robbie, who is staring into the camera. He doesn’t look pleased.
I show it to Thorne, who grins. “He looks pissed.”
“He’s not a fan of dancing. Probably because he sucks at it. You should see him. He flaps his arms around like a chicken.”
Thorne snorts. “I won’t be much better, you know?”
“Can’t wait to see it.”
My eyes turn back to the workers in the field, the large tree shaker and conveyor moving through the trees. We watch in silence for a long time, my mind wandering between what could be buried under my aunt’s house and what I knew of her.
And at the same time, I don’t want to believe it. It’s too fucking freaky.
“You know what? Maybe we should go early. Staying here is making me overthink.” I pull my legs off Thorne and stand up. “I’m going to go get dressed.” My eyes flit over what he’s wearing, and I wave a hand. “You should too.”
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
I snort and lean toward him. “You need to put on underwear, or else everyone is going to see your bouncing dick when you flap around the dance floor.”
His cheeks flush, and he glances down at his athletic shorts. “Right.”
“I usually am. I’ll text and see if anyone wants to meet for pre-snacks and drinks before we shake our asses all night. Oh, and you know, we can tell people we’re together.”
Thorne’s eyes meet mine. “You wanna go public with it?”
“Hell yes, I do. We’re in it now. You’ve met Michael, seen me at my literal worst, thought I was keeping a man underground in a basement, and now think my aunt is a serial killer. And you’ve still stuck around. Think it’s time I let everyone know that you’re mine.”
Thorne blushes, and I feel my heart in my throat. He better fucking agree, or I may cry. “Yeah, I like that idea.”
“You fucking better.”
He grins, and I lean down to kiss him softly. “Alright, I’m off to get changed. I’m gonna wear the shortest shorts that have ever shorted.”
He chuckles, and I push open the door to the house, my eyes on my phone as I trip inside. Jesus, I need new feet. Or maybe new legs. Thorne may think he’s a bad dancer, but he hasn’t seen anything yet.
I will rival even the worst.
Thorne leans in close as we make our way to the restaurant, where Thom, Robbie, and Dex are already waiting.
I don’t know if Thorne can sense that I’m feeling some type of way, but he keeps in close, which makes the feeling worse.
I can’t really put a name on it, and I can’t decide if it’s something I can live with long term.
It’s like good and bad and stressed and content and overwhelmed all at once.
I bet the Germans or the Japanese have a name for it, I just can’t be assed to look it up right now.
But whatever it is, Thorne soothes me just by keeping my hand in his.
And when I tense up, he rubs his thumb over the inside of my wrist.
Is this love? It’s not butterflies in my stomach. It’s like my heart has turned into a giant sphinx moth and is trying to break out from behind my ribs. I don’t mind it though.
Or, well, I don’t mind him.
He smiles as we reach the front doors, but instead of opening it for me, he takes me by the chin and kisses me. It’s slow, soft, mostly chaste—a little hint of his delicious tongue. He hums into it before pulling back.
“You looked like you needed that.”
Oh, I fucking did. I need more than that, but the kiss will do for now. I let my fingers scrape over the shadowy beard, which has gotten longer since he’s been sleeping at my place.
I like it. I like the way he looks rugged and a little wild, even when he’s probably the most put-together person out of everyone I know. Even Robbie—with his uptight routines and inability to let himself have any chill—is more chaotic than Thorne.
I wonder if it’s a him thing or if that was trained into him.
“You okay?” he asks.
I nod. “Yep. Smashing. Wonderful. Peachy and keen.”
He lifts a brow, and I sigh.
‘Let’s go inside,’ I sign.
He gets the door and puts his hand on the small of my back as he follows me in. I nod at the hostess, who barely looks up from her phone, and we make our way into the main room.
I spot Robbie immediately. He’s managed to snag one of the round tables in the corner of the room, and he waves us over just as Dex glances up. He nudges Thom, who bounces slightly in excitement.
Thom, of course, bounds over and tugs me into a fierce hug the moment I’m close enough. I would think him hanging out with Robbie and his family and friends is rubbing off on him with all the touchy and feely, but I know it’s just him.
Which is probably why he fits in so well.
Thom lets me go, then leans back and gives Thorne a very slow, very long up and down.
Thorne is unmoved by Thom’s sudden guard dog act, but I’m not surprised.
They’re the same height and pretty much the same build, but I haven’t seen Thorne look shaken by anything except Michael, and that was only the one time.
“Hey,” Thom says after a long beat.
I roll my eyes. ‘Stop being weird,’ I sign. ‘This is Thorne.’ I wave at the rest of the table and re-make the introduction, speaking and signing because I know that Dex isn’t past his first semester of ASL yet.
Dex just snorts and shakes his head at his brother’s posturing. He waves and signs, ‘Sit down.’
Thom flips him off but does what he says, settling back into Robbie’s side. I can feel Robbie’s heavy gaze as he takes in the both of us. Then he leans forward and waves a hand at Thorne.
‘You sign?’
Thorne nods. ‘I’m still learning. I’ve taken a couple years of ASL.’
‘Why?’ Robbie demands.
I turn to Thorne. ‘You don’t have to answer that.’
He grins softly and shakes his head. ‘It’s okay.’ Turning back to Robbie, he tilts his head and pulls his hair back to show his hearing aids. ‘I have Ménière’s. Hearing declining. Probably fully Deaf in a few years.’
Robbie’s eyes widen, and then he looks at me. ‘Cursed?’
I groan loudly as Thorne touches the back of my neck and repeats the sign with a little wiggle of his finger to let me know he’s asking.
‘I love the Deaf community,’ I sign that with a kiss-fist. ‘But I was ready to be done signing all the time.’ Thorne immediately starts to look shattered, but I quickly shake my head. ‘I moved here and made Deaf friends. Then I met you. I’m happy.’
Thom makes a loud awww noise after he finishes interpreting what I’m signing for his brother. ‘You two are so cute I want to vomit.’
I flip him off and steal a quick kiss before turning back to the table. ‘You want to interrogate him?’
Robbie’s eyes light up. He looks like he’s about as stressed as I am and needs to let off some steam. I feel like a few drinks and dancing might be better for that than grilling my new…shit, is he my boyfriend? I don’t even know, and we haven’t really said the words.
God, we need to have a few chats about what the hell all of this even is. But for now, I let Robbie rapid-fire questions at Thorne.
It’s clear he’s testing his ability to sign, as well as trying to catch him in a lie, but Thorne is patient and sweet and stays close to me, glancing at me for clarification every time he’s lost.
It’s…nice. Not as relaxing as I’d hoped, but not terrible either.
We move on after the food gets to the table though, and eventually, Robbie detaches himself from Thom while he and his brother are having some argument about gym equipment, and he slides into the empty seat beside me.
‘You okay?’ he asks between us.
‘Yeah, fine.’
He lifts a brow as if to say, ‘Really?’
‘Okay, not fine. I’ve been better. But I’ve been worse.’
‘Michael? Or new relationship?’
‘Both,’ I have to admit. ‘Thorne is the good part, but I didn’t expect to meet anyone, so it’s…
’ I hesitate as I struggle to find the right words or classifiers—anything that’ll help me describe all these new feelings.
And shit, that’s it. ‘New. It’s new. Unfamiliar.
I don’t want to fuck it up, but I think I already have. ’
Robbie frowns. ‘How?’
Oh, I am not getting into all that right now.
I want a good night. I don’t want to think about bloody shoes or serial killers or the fact that Thorne only met me because he was trying to get enough evidence to arrest me for the crime of keeping a man locked in an underground dungeon while I looked for something on the dark web to blow up a groundhog.
My stomach twists a bit, and I can feel anxiety rising along the base of my spine. If I’m not careful, it’s going to erupt, and my night is going to be entirely fucked.
Robbie taps my wrist, and I look up into his face.
‘Sorry,’ I tell him quickly. ‘It’s been a weird few days.’
Robbie’s face is sympathetic, and he reaches into his pocket for something. I recognize that little package. He slips it into my hand, and I can feel there’s only one little gummy left, but that’ll do the trick.
‘You sure?’