Chapter 13 #2
As Ethan’s body heat transferred to my palm, and mine to his, I couldn’t help but imagine what would be happening in this scenario if I’d come to this gig with Will.
He might be holding my hand, sure, but he’d also be tugging it, manoeuvring us both out of the mosh pit for safety, forging a path towards the back of the crowd.
But me and Ethan weren’t going anywhere.
Instead, we were both braced for the biggest rush of endorphins that only jumping around to one of your favourite songs while bashing up against other pleasure-chasers could produce.
The moment in question didn’t let us down; I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so connected to my own body – and so aware of someone else’s.
By the time the final chorus rolled around, I was breathless with exertion and exhilaration, and could barely move anymore, let alone sing.
I gave it a good go anyway, grinning from ear to ear as the song reached its final destination.
As the crowd cheered and the frontman switched to an acoustic guitar, which he spent some time tuning, I started to become hyper-aware of Ethan’s hand, still interlaced with mine.
As if he was thinking exactly the same thing, he squeezed my palm gently, and I traced one of my infinity loops on his with my thumb.
That was all it took. With one assertive tug out of nowhere, he pulled me towards him, so we were no longer side-by-side, but face-to-face.
The room and the hundreds of people in it faded away after that.
The next song must have started, but by the time Ethan and I stopped kissing it was two album tracks later and we were no longer in the middle of the crowd, but had drifted towards a wall. A wall!
Had it ever felt like this when Will and I had kissed?
No.
It’d never felt like this with anyone – not that I’d had tons of experience before I met the man who I thought I’d be spending the rest of my life with.
I’d never been the kind of teenager who’d snogged random blokes in dingy suburban nightclubs, but this wasn’t a million miles from that experience – I was just having it almost two decades later than average.
Against a wall. I giggled in amusement.
‘What is it?’ Ethan spoke into my ear, his voice thick with craving.
‘I’m in New-fucking-York, kissing a relative stranger in a warehouse to the soundtrack of my teenage years. The whole scenario is beyond insane. Is it even real?!’
Ethan ran his thumb along the length of my bottom lip before speaking into my ear again. ‘It’s real. And I don’t think we’re anything close to strangers anymore, Flora Bell.’
The main set finished, but the house lights remained off, the crowd humming for more.
‘Should we stay for the encore?’ I asked.
Ethan looked at his watch and sighed. ‘We need to get you back to the city.’
‘Yeah, you’re right.’
‘I mean…’
‘What?’ I couldn’t keep the eagerness out of my voice.
Ask me to stay.
‘This doesn’t have to be the last time we see each other before you leave, right?’
I sighed. ‘I leave on Wednesday, Ethan. Before then, you’ve got to sort out the rest of your speech, get it all printed out and, y’know, actually go to your brother’s wedding.’
‘Yeah, there’s a rehearsal dinner on Monday, too.’
‘Well, there you go. So, all things considered, I think this is probably it, yeah.’
A long, heavy silence stretched out between us, until Ethan’s eyes opened wide.
‘Wait! I have a plus one for the wedding! You could totally come!’
‘There are so many reasons why that’s a terrible idea.’
‘Name one.’
Because the thought of going to a wedding, when the last one I should have attended was my own, makes me want to throw up.
‘I don’t have anything to wear. And, as lovely as I’m sure your mum is when she’s not forced to make chitchat with her son’s hookup—’
‘They’re seriously never gonna let me forget about that.’
‘—I got the impression she wouldn’t appreciate me rocking up in a pair of creased dungarees and a half-dirty T-shirt.’
‘New York has a few stores, y’know.’
‘I cannot tell you how much I can’t stand shopping for clothes.’
‘Hey, I really like your style.’
‘C’mon, it’s less of a style and more of a uniform.’
‘A nice uniform, though. Okay, clothes aside – which is a solvable problem – what other reason?’
‘I wouldn’t know anyone there. And I wouldn’t want you to feel like you’d have to hang out with me all day.’
‘Oh, yeah, about that – it’s an evening wedding so their friends can come after work. So, a quick ceremony, food, speeches, dancing. Boom. Plus, there’s a couple of other Brits going from Rick’s work, so I’m sure you’d have stuff in common. Next reason?’
‘I just don’t think any of… this… is such a good idea. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had such a nice day – and you’re amazing…’
‘But…?’
‘But, no matter how long we drag out this goodbye, there’s still going to have to be a goodbye, isn’t there? And I don’t want either of us to get any more hurt than we need to.’
Ethan frowned and took a small step back. ‘Woah, I’m confused. A few hours ago, you were prepared to have some casual fun, despite my concerns, but now you don’t want to get hurt. Why the U-turn?’
‘Because of everything that’s happened in the last few hours, you dipstick! I met your parents, your lovely friends, we came here – the best gig I’ve ever been to, by the way.’
‘Same.’
‘To spell it out: the more I spend time with you, the more I like you, and the sadder I feel about the thought of never seeing you again.’
I could never have spoken with such honesty if I was sober. But here in this crowd, with alcohol loosening my lips, it felt physically impossible to even pretend to be laid-back.
‘Oh! Oh.’
‘Yeah, sorry. Turns out I really can’t do “aloof English enigma”.’
‘For what it’s worth, I never thought you were aloof.’
‘No?’
‘No, my goofball radar sounded the second I saw your noise-cancelling headphones and pastry-flake-covered overalls.’
‘Dungarees.’
‘Whatever…’
As if to emphasise his enthusiasm for my outfit, he grabbed my shoulder straps and pulled me towards him for another round of against-the-wall kissing.
‘So, it’s a “yes” for the wedding?’ he murmured in my ear during a brief break.
I redirected my focus to my brain to consider his question.
Would Mum and Anneka be pissed off if I kept disappearing on them?
Going by Anneka’s active encouragement this afternoon, potentially not.
But I still had no idea what else they had planned for the next few days, and I didn’t want to let them down.
‘It’s a maybe.’
‘I’ll take it,’ he sighed, planting one final kiss on my mouth. ‘Right, let’s get you back over to Manhattan.’
We fetched our coats and zipped them up in anticipation of cold air.
But what greeted us outside was far beyond nippiness – it was more like the beginning of a new ice age.
The snow in the air wasn’t just falling; it was swirling manically, coating everything it touched with an instant layer of ice.
‘Fuck, the storm’s hit early!’ Ethan shouted, though I could barely hear him over the wails of the blizzard. The pavement was already a few inches thick with snow, my flimsy Converse soaked through within seconds. My heart sank in anticipation of having to spend tomorrow wearing wet shoes.
‘Will the subway be running?’ I shouted, over the multi-directional chaos.
Ethan ushered me back into the relative shelter of the venue’s entranceway and looked at his phone.
He looked up, grimacing. ‘That’s a negative.’
‘Shit!’
‘Yeah, sorry. Maybe the gig wasn’t the best idea after all.’
I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
I opened my mouth to tell him as much, but he was in fixing mode. ‘Right, let’s head to mine for now and we’ll make a plan from there.’
I nodded, and we stepped back out into the white onslaught. We clutched each other tightly for the short one-and-a-half block walk; sure, I’d wanted to huddle next to him like a penguin earlier, but this Antarctic scene was taking the piss.
By the time we made it inside his communal hallway, my glasses were completely opaque thanks to the simultaneous presence of all three states of water. I took them off and searched for a dry piece of clothing to clean them on. No such thing existed.
‘My God, I’ve never seen snow like it,’ I said, making do with wiping them with a sodden sleeve.
‘Yeah, it was always gonna be a bad one. But it wasn’t due to hit until the middle of the night.’
We trudged up the stairs, my shoes squelching with every step. I suddenly became aware of how cold I was, my teeth chattering. By the time we were inside his place, I was full-on quaking.
Ethan switched on all the heaters in the room before turning to me with a serious look on his face. ‘Flora, you need to get those clothes off, stat.’
I was so far from feeling aroused that his words caught me off-guard. My facial expression prompted him to clarify his intentions.
‘To get warmed up! Go in the bathroom and have a hot shower. I’ll find you some of my clothes you can wear while yours dry over the heater. You didn’t think that was my attempt to get you naked?!’
‘Kinda…!’ I aimed for a shy smile but my teeth were chattering so violently that I probably looked more like a glitching Black Mirror robot companion than an attractive love interest. Ethan grabbed a tote bag from a coat hook and handed it to me.
‘Hot shower, now. Put any wet clothes in here and leave them outside the door.’
I did as I was told and peeled off my clothes in the tiny bathroom.
Every single item was drenched with a mixture of sweat and melted snow.
I placed them in the bag, with the exception of my knickers, which I thought would be a step too far, and opened the door a crack, placing the bag outside it.
I put my underwear on the heated towel rail, hoping they’d be mainly dry by the time I’d had my shower.