Chapter 21 #3
For once, I decided not to bat the compliment away with self-deprecation. ‘I… guess not!’
‘I’m just gonna have a quick biological moment,’ Ethan said, leaving me and Elle to it. Elle’s frown indicated she was confused by his choice of language, but dismissed it with a quick shake of her head.
‘Do you have a business card or anything? I know a few people who keep insisting on giving crappy ChatGPT speeches and could do with a kick up the arse from someone like you.’
I was fast learning that this woman was a leaner-inner, in all senses of the word, never missing an opportunity to network.
‘Not on me, no. But I’ll get Ethan to pass on my details.’
‘Great – I’m not kidding; I reckon I can send a lot of business your way.’
‘Thanks – I appreciate it.’
‘So how do you know Ethan?’
‘Umm, we were strangers until last Friday. I’m here on holiday. I… fly home tomorrow.’
‘You’re shitting me?’
‘Haha, no.’
‘I mean, it’s obvious the two of you are in the early days of a relationship, but I didn’t realise it was that early.’
‘I mean, I’m not sure I’d use the word “relationship”.’
‘Yeah, I guess that makes sense, especially after Sophie.’
My stomach dropped to my sore feet.
Who the fuck is Sophie?
‘Yeah, exactly,’ I replied, feigning understanding.
He’s allowed to have an ex, Flora. Stop panicking.
Ethan returned, grinning from ear to ear. ‘Come with me; my parents want to thank you!’
‘Umm, okay…’
I looked to Elle with a comical grimace, and she saw me off with a double thumbs-up.
‘There she is!’ his mum exclaimed, pulling me towards her for a hug as if the world’s most cringeworthy ‘meet the parents’ experience the other day had never happened. The last time she’d clapped eyes on me I’d been stuck in a beanbag.
‘Hey, are you having a nice day?’ I asked, once I’d been released from her grip.
This was the first time I’d spoken to Chrissie since I’d arrived.
She was dressed from head to toe in emerald green, right down to her sparkly, slingback shoes, which were pointed at the toe.
I couldn’t help think she looked a little bit like a festive elf, out on the town having a rare night off from Santa’s workshop.
‘Oh, the best! I finally got to go to one of my boys’ weddings!’
‘Mum, please, I—’
But Chrissie dismissed Ethan’s words with a wave of her hand.
‘But what I really want to talk to you about is that speech! I must admit, when Eethy told me the other day he was still working on it, I panicked. But now I can understand why. Oh, it was perfect, Flora! I’m not a crier but remembering that road trip really brought a tear to my eye, and Ethan said that was all your idea? ’
‘Yeah, I mean, it seemed like it was a really nice memory for you all?’
‘Oh, it was. That trip took months of planning – months. But it was all worth it, wasn’t it, Saul?’
Ethan’s dad attempted a nod, although his head was lolling about in wild directions thanks to his drunken state.
‘And now Ethan just gave me this!’ Chrissie removed the bound book of his speech cartoons from her handbag.
‘Aww, you got one printed for your parents, too?’
Ethan nodded, his hands shoved in his pockets like an embarrassed teenager.
‘That’s so sweet,’ I said, instinctively resting my head on his shoulder, before snapping it back up.
‘It’s okay, Flora,’ Chrissie said, who hadn’t missed the intimate body language moment. ‘Ethan told us everything. It’s all a little… unexpected, but it’s the happiest we’ve seen him in long, long time.’
She squeezed my arm briefly – a gesture I interpreted as a blessing for whatever was happening between me and her youngest son. He and I really needed to have a conversation.
‘Hey, can we get some fresh air out the front?’ I asked Ethan, once his parents had moved on to another group of people.
‘Absolutely,’ he said, steering me back through to the bar area and then through the doors at the front.
It was a brutally cold evening, but the air was the stillest it had been since I’d arrived.
He slipped his suit jacket off and draped it around my shoulders, pulling up the lapel to give my neck an extra inch of protection as we leaned against a wall.
‘You look so good, Flora.’
We rested our foreheads against each other for a while, before the lower halves of our faces joined the party.
After a couple of minutes, our mouths parted, and we sighed in unison, resuming our wall leaning.
‘Hey, who’s Sophie?’
‘Fuck, who told you? I can explain…’
‘You don’t have to; I’m sure it’s…’
But Ethan’s words kept flowing. ‘Listen, yes, we were due to get married in September, and I know I should have told you, but when I heard about what your ex did to you, I figured it was the last thing you’d want me to share with you.’
What’s he saying here?
I swallowed. ‘Oh. What happened? Did she call it off or…?’
‘No. She didn’t. It was me – I broke up with her.’
He walked out on her before their wedding. Just like Will walked out on me.
I bit my lower lip, which was threatening to wobble, fully prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though my nervous system was already gearing itself up for the inevitable.
‘Oh. Right. So you called it off… at the start of the year or something?’
‘No. I called it off in… September.’
Right before the wedding. Just like Will did.
My blood plummeted to my increasingly sore feet. I needed to get these fucking shoes off, now.
I sat down on the kerb and began to untie my laces with shaking hands.
‘Flora? Are you okay? What are you doing?’
‘My feet are killing me.’
Ethan sat down next to me as I focused on the job in hand. ‘Talk to me, Flora.’
I took one shoe off and chucked it aside, rubbing my throbbing heel.
‘What is there to say? You did to Sophie exactly what Will did to me. And here I am, falling for the same type of bloke all over again, like some kind of fucked-up Shakespearean tragedy in which I’m always destined to be the desperate Rosalind to all the loved-up Romeos and Juliets. ’
My cheeks became wet with tears.
‘That makes no sense, Flora. I’m choosing you; can’t you see that?’
‘You can’t choose me, though, can you? Not really.’
Ethan said nothing, just rubbed and tugged at his hair.
‘It feels so shit to be discarded just before a wedding, you know,’ I challenged quietly.
‘Yeah, I’m sure it does. It’s hard to know what to say.
But, for what it’s worth, Sophie’s living her best life near her friends and family in LA right now.
She got a dream job offer on the West Coast back in the spring, and it took me way too long to understand that I wanted to stay here, near my family and my work and my friends.
But I didn’t run out on her at the eleventh hour – we sat down a full three weeks before the wedding and had a massive heart-to-heart.
And, yes, ultimately it was me who made the decision to end things, and we were both totally devastated, but we saw it through – together. ’
‘That all sounds very grown up. Bravo. But what is it with you men? Why can’t any of you seem to figure out what it is you want – and don’t want – before the person you’re meant to love has already mapped out the life you’ll lead together?’
Ethan rested his forehead on the heels of his hands. ‘I don’t think any answer is going to make you feel any better about this, is it?’
I shrugged. ‘Feel free to try.’
Ethan transferred his hands to his knees and swivelled on the kerb to face me. ‘Okay. Well, this “map” you’re referring to. It… doesn’t exist. Not really.’
‘It felt pretty real to me.’
‘Yeah, I’m not saying it didn’t. But… it’s just a construct, isn’t it? To make you feel safe?’
I wanted to dismiss his theory, but my jaw had started to tremble, and I had to clench my mouth closed to stop a sob from bursting out.