Chapter 16. #3
I step into my room, and Gabriel tilts his head in confusion. Before he can speak, I’ve plucked my fifty dollars from his fingers, “Not hungry anymore. You can go.”
I’m practically shoving him to his feet and out the door when Reuben appears at the top of the stairs.
I’m closing the door in both their speechless faces before they can stop me, releasing a breath of relief…
until the regret sets in and I’m crouching to the floor with a hand over my head like a fool.
“What did you do now?” I can hear the amusement in Gabriel’s voice on the other side of the door.
“I literally just got back.” Reuben sounds exasperated. “What did you do? Why were you in there?”
“Huh.” Gabriel doesn’t answer but for some reason, I can imagine a stupid smirk on his face.
Only when they finally leave down the hall, bantering with each other, do I find the courage to finally lift my head.
I groan quietly. That wasn’t natural at all.
But playing it cool was never going to work with Reuben. It never did before, and it wouldn’t work now.
My dick is hard just from seeing the marks on his neck, pink bites that look like flowers on his skin. Did that guy put them there? A dark feeling steeps in my chest until suddenly I’m tracing the marks on his skin with my lips in my mind. Renewing and replacing them.
Why do I want to lick them?
“Ugh.” I pull myself out of it sternly. I can’t allow Reuben Taiga to distract me. I’m only attracted to him now because I saw that scene. This is entirely his fault…
But would the real Christian even have been attracted to him?
My blood cools at the thought and a wave of panic begins to spread through my body.
Am I… deviating from ‘Christian’ by being like this? Am I ruining Christian’s legacy again?
“Christian?” Kai’s sleepy voice is waking me from the sudden torrent of thoughts and I look up from where I’m crouched on the floor to see him rubbing his eyes. “I’m hungry.”
Me too, bud. But there’s a dangerous man on the other side of this door.
I make no motion to move and Kai’s eyes become worried as he sits up.
“You okay?”
I smile, but I think the bitterness leaks onto my face before I can stop it, “You care about me already?”
I’m lucky that Kai’s eyelids are still too heavy for him, he lies back down to close his eyes with a mumble, “You have no manners… But I like you. You’re a good subordinate.”
“Pfft.” The bitterness inside me can’t possibly contend with such an honest appraisal.
I rise from my crouch and walk over to run my hands through his hair affectionately, “I like you too, bud. You’ll make a good boss one day.”
“Of course I will dummy,” he mumbles. “I’m a Taiga.”
Now I’d feel bad if I didn’t get him something to eat. Never a better day to face your worst enemy.
My fears become unwarranted though, because Reuben is nowhere to be seen, and there are takeout boxes for the team in the fridge. One of them has my name on it, a box filled with a bit too much pasta for one person.
I wince when I realize Reuben could’ve brought it back, that he might’ve thought about us while he was out, only for me to run from him without an explanation.
I’m going to need a really, really solid explanation if I want to successfully avoid him. At least until I figure out how to… fix me.
I portion the meal into two for me and the kid, warm it up and make sure he eats all of it. His mom will be on her way to collect him soon, so when 6 pm comes around, I’m making sure he’s got everything he came with.
“If you get tired working for Reuben you can always come work for me,” Kai grins and I flick him on the forehead, earning another yelp and a scowl.
“Learning to poach already? You’re gonna grow up to be a scary guy you know.”
“Mama can pay you a lot more than Reuben can.” There’s an earnestness in his eyes and even though he’s softening it, I think for a moment he’s actually serious.
I hum, pretending to consider it. “I have to make a name for myself first before I can switch employers. You wouldn’t want to be seen hiring a nobody wouldn’t you?”
“But you’re not nobody,” Kai’s brows furrow. “You’re Christian Adler.”
The world shifts for one jarring moment, like the sound of glass shattering through my skull.
What?
I can barely breathe.
“Christian Adler of the Adler Squad. Baachan told me about you.” I don’t miss the curiosity and admiration in his eyes, “That you’re the best of the best.”
My heart squeezes.
The best of the best, huh.
Christian was. The entire Adler Squad was.
But I’m not.
“I think your Baachan was being very optimistic, kid.” I rummage my hand through his hair, “I lost my entire squad in an operation.”
I’m not entirely sure what drives the words from my lips, and Kai’s eyes widen with such abysmal horror that I chuckle light-heartedly, “Not only am I a poor subordinate, like you said, I let them down.” My voice is soft, “I have a bad reputation.”
I’m not entirely sure if I’m talking as Christian Adler or as me.
It keeps me awake so often… So often, I’ve wondered… if I’d let ‘Christian’ die that night… would that have been his greatest legacy? By ‘surviving’ as him, maybe I’ve darkened it with my own hands. Ruined everything.
Instead of the leader who died with his team, he became the leader who survived. The leader who failed.
“But Reuben gave me another chance,” I shrug away my doubts for the moment. Push them away into that crevice where I know they’ll eventually come out again. When I’m alone in the dark and I’m stuck staring in the mirror at Christian’s face.
“To prove that I can still be useful.” I make sure to keep my tone flippant for the kid. As though it no longer bothers me. “If I’m able to do that and you still want to recruit me, then you can ask me again.”
Kai is watching me with pursed lips and it’s the first time he doesn’t immediately respond with something snippy.
Poor guy probably regrets asking me now.
“Unfortunately,” Reuben’s voice cuts through us both as he steps out onto the porch, and my body immediately flushes at the sound of his voice—at the familiar vision of his messy updo and tall frame.
“Even if this entire country turns into a monarchy and you become the king,” he stops in front of Kai with a domineering smirk, “I still won’t give him to you.”
Kai’s expression immediately becomes fierce and he snorts, “If he stays here with you he’s doomed.”
“This kid—” Reuben steps forward but I’m stepping in his way, ignoring how close his chest is to mine. A dark shirt clings to his frame and the contours of his arms, over grey sweats.
“You’re three times his size,” I deadpan.
“We all know his mouth makes up the rest.”
I push Reuben’s face away with my palm right as Miss Rosabella’s car enters through the gate.
Reuben is actually scowling at Kai, and the kid’s grin is way too big when his mother steps out of the vehicle and takes in the scene with a raised brow, wearing a black cardigan this time over black jeans a red shirt and tall heels.
“I thought you would’ve gotten bored, but you’re still having fun.” There’s a surprised amusement in her eyes.
Kai’s expression becomes sheepish. He takes his suitcase with him to follow his mother, but he turns back at the entrance with a strangely determined expression, “When I see you again, I’ll have an even better argument for why you should work for me instead.”
“Ven por tu hijo, Rosa,” Reuben scowls, but Miss Rosabella looks completely stunned for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.
“Nunca fuiste bueno con la competencia, Rubenito.”
I really need to pick up that Spanish dictionary. Kai distracted me, but I’ll be sure to check my phone for one later.
“Is this some new tactic of yours?” Reuben glares, “To steal my men through your son?”
“If my son can steal one of your men, you should consider seriously disbanding, brother.”
I’m still here guys.
Can’t understand a word you’re saying.
When Kai and his mother finally disappear behind the tinted windows and through the inner gate of the compound, I feel like my shoulders can finally relax.
“You should just go adopt a bunch of brats and raise a family at this point,” Reuben pipes up beside me. “It’s looking like you’d be pretty good at it.”
I raise a brow, “Then who’ll save you from falling overboard next time?”
“I’ll take it like a champ and survive like you did.”
No.
My mood falls a bit too quickly.
You’d die.
I brush by him to head back to my room without another word, but he grabs my arm to stop me, “Are you upset that I pushed the kid onto you?”
I can’t say I understand how he reached that conclusion.
“I’m the only one who seems to have the time,” I answer honestly.
“You pushed yourself too hard in the ring. I only kept you off missions so you could recover properly.”
I know that.
“I didn’t mean to make you a babysitter—”
“It’s fine, Reuben.” Watching him try to figure me out brings a smile to my lips. I wonder if that makes me a bad person.
I can see on his face he’s inwardly searching for any of the other reasons why I might be running from him but before he can make another incorrect guess, my eyes are drawn to the familiar decoration in his hair.
I blink, “You wore it.” The black ribbon I picked out is tied messily in his hair, but still it makes him look… softer. Less likely to go on a rampage and slice open the throats of six men with a grin.
Reuben’s head tilts. It’s as though I can see the night sky in his eyes, when the sun is still out; his amusement twinkling like stars. “Of course I wore it. Though I do have questions about your choices.”
“What? Why?” I frown.
“Well, firstly, there’s no way Lucia helped you pick this out for me.”
No, because I picked it out myself.
My frown turns into a scowl, “So what? What’s wrong with it?”
Reuben grins at me, obviously enjoying my reaction.
“If you don’t like it, give it back,” I reach for it with a scathing glare, but I’m not prepared when Reuben grabs me by my wrist and pulls me into him.
I’m unbalanced, so I stagger right into his space until our chests touch, and there’s a sudden static between us.
My pulse is suddenly rampant beneath my skin, and his hand on my wrist feels like a strange fever.
“No fucking way, estrellito.” His voice in my ear is slow and carnal. I can hear the wildness in it. The smirk. The promise.
It’s deadly.
It sends a shiver of need throughout my body that spreads like a wildfire, and I have to put my palm over his face to turn it away because fucking fuck—
Has he always been like this?
Touchy and in my space?
I’m going through my memories rapidly.
Yes. Yes, I think he has.
So he’s not even doing it on purpose to fuck with me.
“Crazy bastard.”
Ugh. Why did this have to happen on my last day of recovery? I can’t go back to doing missions with the team if I don’t fix this. No matter how great my mask is, Reuben will see through it in an instant and—
I can’t let that happen.
Think, think. Something upsetting…
Hats. Hats don’t make sense. Why not just use a fucking umbrella? That’s what you made them for, isn’t it? To block out the sun and the rain?
Ripped jeans. Why would you want to look like you were mauled by a bear, on purpose? If you want to show skin why not just wear shorter pants?
Crocs. Are they shoes? Why do they have holes in them? What if it rains? Why call them ‘crocs’? Do crocodiles have something to do with it?
People fashion is just so fucking senseless. It’s high up on the list of things that piss me off. It’s the sole reason why I failed to blend in with people.
“Reuben,” Xavier’s voice cuts through us as he opens the door and I know my irritation is slipping onto my face just in time. I’m still pushing away Reuben’s face with my palm when I turn to Xavier.
“Stop playing around.” Xavier’s expression is uncharacteristically cold, a copy of the look he had earlier that creates a sense of foreboding inside me. “Is the kid gone?”
Reuben steps out of my hands and this time I can tell something’s going on, because a shadow has passed over his face.
“Good.” Xavier doesn’t wait for a response before he turns on his heels and goes back through the doors. “We’re starting the meeting.”
“What's going on?” I ask.
Why is Xavier calling the meeting and not Reuben?
“We’re back to work.” Reuben’s eyes glint teasingly but there's a new darkness there that pulls anxiety into my toes.
This is my second chance.
No falling overboard this time.