Chapter 22.
‘Christian’
“So, how long have you been dating?” Gabriel’s voice interrupts my thoughts and white tea immediately spews from my nose.
“Fucking—” I grab a tissue quickly to clean up the mess and Gabriel snorts.
“That long, huh?”
Ugh.
After Philip parted ways with Evie that night in the park, he’d asked her out to coffee when they met at the bookshop a few days later.
From the eyes of anyone else, it was a romantic beginning.
To me and the rest of the team, it was like signing Evie’s name on the dotted line and giving her away to a demon.
Needless to say, Gabriel and I are the lucky souls to be assigned to Evelyn’s first coffee date with a serial killer.
It’s exactly how I envisioned spending my first Christmas without the Adler Squad.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Stars, my nose burns.
“Right.” Gabriel’s deadpan face is the most obnoxious thing I’ve ever seen. “Now try it again. This time without accidentally killing yourself.”
If looks could kill, I’d shift into his worst nightmare right now.
Evie and Philip are at the coffee shop across the street. Philip’s not wearing his infamous killing jacket, which puts us at ease at least… but one day he will. He will, and we’ll have to be ready.
I click my teeth, pressing tissue down on my nose after managing to salvage my tea. For some reason, there are at least six coffeeshops on this one stretch of road in the town. It’s the easiest thing to look natural in the crowd while following Evie’s date.
“I don’t even know who you’re talking about,” I mumble.
“Wow,” Gabriel looks utterly unimpressed by my lie. “Everyone knows Reuben’s been pining for you for ages.”
“What?” My voice rises a bit too loudly and people from other tables glance over at me.
I wince before assessing him slowly, with new suspicion, “That doesn’t make sense.”
I didn’t think Gabriel’s expression could get any flatter, but somehow, it does. He leans backwards, mumbling, “I’ve never felt for him as badly as I do in this moment.”
I ignore him. “Since when?”
“Hell if I know. But he’s always watching you. And recently he’s… softer. The softest I’ve ever seen him.”
‘Softer’ isn’t the word I’d use for how Reuben’s been lately.
‘Crazy’, sure. ‘Energetic’. ‘Handsy’. ‘Hypersexual’.
‘Softer’ wouldn’t even make the list.
“We’re not dating,” I finally answer.
“Does Reuben know you're not dating?”
“Just leave it.” I don’t know the answer. “It won’t get in the way of the mission. And it’s none of your business.”
“It is very much the whole team’s business, Christian.”
I watch him for a few breaths. “I’m not following.”
“It changes the chain of command.”
“No.” My grip on my glass has tightened. “It doesn’t. Nothing changes.”
“Yes. Reuben was the first to jump overboard for you on the Millenium Star.”
“He’d have done that for anyone.”
“No.” His expression darkens, heavy with unspoken thoughts. “He wouldn’t have.”
My eyes flicker with surprise for a fraction of a second before I school my expression into indifference, shifting my attention elsewhere. “I’ll handle it differently next time.”
“You handled it perfectly,” Gabriel counters. “That’s not the problem. The problem is, there may not be a future where Reuben chooses to be protected if you’re in danger.”
“Reuben doesn’t need protection.”
“Every member of the Taiga family needs protection.” Gabriel’s eyes narrow.
“I’m not going to listen to you tell me I’m a liability to Reuben’s safety.” A spark of anger ignites beneath my exterior, slipping into my voice before I can stop it.
“That’s not what I’m saying!” His restraint frays at the edges.
“Is there a problem, sirs?”
“No!” We both snap in unison and the waitress at our table flinches before scampering off to reception.
I hadn’t even noticed how loud we’d gotten.
“If you’re both taking each other seriously,” Gabriel finds the will at least to pull back on his irritation, speaking through gritted teeth, “one of us needs to be assigned to you, to protect you.”
I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off at once, “That. Way. We can all keep our heads and do our jobs protecting Reuben properly.”
“If you assign anyone to me at all,” I grind through my teeth the same way he did with a calm smile, “I’ll shoot them. In both knees.”
“Why can’t you be logical about this?” he snaps again.
“It’s been three weeks!” I hiss in return. “And you’re talking about assigning me a guard. I am the guard, Gabriel. It’s my job. Aside from that, I’m nothing.”
Gabriel’s mouth snaps shut as he watches me.
It opens and snaps shut again.
“You’re nothing?”
Fuck.
“Whatever conversation you’re both having,” Xavier’s voice through the comms is so tainted with fury, the both of us flinch, “I’m sure you can have it and not disrupt the people around you. Or not have it at all.”
“Gabriel’s being ridiculous,” I mumble.
“And Christian’s being unreasonable.”
“And I will come down there and kill you both,” Xavier snaps. “Then we’ll all be happy.”
Across the street, Evie spits coffee from her nose and we both freeze.
“What’s wrong?” Philip’s voice comes through the earpiece and Evie shakes her head, trying—and failing—to conceal a smile.
“Nothing, nothing. You reminded me of someone I met a long time ago.”
Fuck, we used the wrong comms line.
“Xavier’s going to kill us,” Gabriel mutters, but I only click my teeth and sink into my chair.
Much to Gabriel’s ire, I don’t take him on any more than I have to throughout the rest of Evie’s date. We continue to follow Philip and Evie discreetly for the rest of the day, until the afternoon sun is high in the sky.
It’s only three days left until Christmas, so Evie was able to rope Philip into late Christmas shopping, to spend more time together.
The stores on the streets are all packed with people, which makes it easier for Gabriel and I to tail them without notice, and Christmas decorations are everywhere—streamers, bells, professionally decorated Christmas trees, wreaths—
The sights and sounds and festivity in the air feel different. As though I'm experiencing it for the first time, and the buzz in the air is… exciting. Warm.
I wish Reuben was here.
The thought surprises me so suddenly, I’m stuck in place, blinking like a fool at the side of the street.
I’d only spent one Christmas with the Adler Squad… and that was as a pet. This year would be my first Christmas as people… yet the only thing I find myself wishing for… is spending it with Reuben.
What would our Christmas have been like without this mission?
My heart squeezes as I stare after Evie and Philip. She’s chatting with one of the street vendors, chuckling under her breath while looking over some trinkets on display and Philip is watching her intently.
If he wasn’t a monster, I might’ve been envious.
If we’d had the time… would Reuben and I have gone out together?
The thought creates a storm of warmth inside my chest and my throat tightens.
We could... get coffee together after this mission (my first date with Reuben)—
Maybe... go to a park. Or sightseeing. Or the zoo (I've never been to a zoo)—
Excitement is coursing through me so suddenly, I feel queasy. And it’s not just the idea of doing normal, people things—things I’ve always wanted to do and try and see…
It's the possibility of doing it all with him that vibrates my insides.
Whatever it is between us right now can’t be serious, I know that. And I wouldn't want to take his time or distract him, or be distracted myself, but... I want him to be there. It has to be him.
Someone steps into my line of vision, blocking out my view of Evie and Philip and my lungs fail to work for a moment as I look into familiar dark eyes.
“What are you thinking about, baby?” Reuben’s voice is a purr that flushes through and heats my entire body.
A fitted black turtleneck with long sleeves clings to his frame, and a cream long coat drapes effortlessly over his shoulders, the contrast only deepening the allure of his raven-black hair and eyes.
His mouth and nose are covered by a long scarf wrapped around his neck, a silver cross hangs from the piercing at the tip of his ear and my black ribbon is tied into his updo again, softening his features and making me even more queasy.
How has he always looked like this?
Anyone looking at him wouldn’t be able to tell what he’s thinking, but his sharp gaze is looking through me. Seeing everything, like they always do.
I should be upset that he’s here—he’s bound to draw attention to himself—but my mouth only opens and closes, soundlessly.
“You.”
I don’t know what drives the words from my lips, or what gives me the courage to say them.
“I’m thinking about you,” I say softly and I’m conscious of the heat on my cheeks—of the effort I must put in to hold his stare and not avert my eyes. I channel all my nervous energy into my hands instead as I rub my neck and Reuben’s eyes widen barely a fraction.
Maybe it’s my selfishness…
Maybe it’s because he showed up right when I wanted to see him…
I really shouldn’t dig a deeper pit for us both to get out of…
“After this mission is over…” I avert my eyes this time because it’s too much, “would you like to... go for coffee with me? Or maybe... a movie?”
Maybe he'll think those things are too childish? I make a quick note to go home and find some more movies or books for… couples? (Is that what we are? I don’t know. Maybe I should ask first? But I don’t want to be a couple—)
“I want to create a list of the things we can do together,” I make myself clearer.
Reuben is quiet, and after a few seconds, it’s like a bolt of worry and regret pulling me back into reality and dousing my excitement. I’d run away with myself, pulling Reuben into my delusions—my selfishness. Maybe he’ll misunderstand me and think I’m asking for something more.
“I’m not asking us to be serious,” I explain quickly. “It’s okay if you don’t—”