Chapter 32.
‘Christian’
I’d known something was wrong the moment August’s men brought out nets.
Nets. These strange guns that shot out masterfully tied ropes.
I’d been lucky enough to shift into something smaller to escape, and I’d thought maybe… maybe they were just adapting quickly to the new threat they were facing. Maybe August likes to collect weapons so he has one for every occasion.
But then they brought out fucking tasers.
Tasers. And not the small, handheld kind, no. The long, heavy-duty kind.
They hurt like fuck. If I were any normal wild beast, I’d have been put down instantly.
But it only convinced me further—that August had a separate team on standby, prepared to fight against beasts.
Beasts like me.
And since the moment I realized it, there’s been this… coiling dread in my chest.
It’s a snake of ice in the pit of my stomach and with each passing second it slithers around my insides, pumping fear through my body and hovering its fangs over my heart.
When I step into the room, when I meet Reuben’s eyes, I can tell the bastard’s already accepted his death.
I know he’s happy to see me for the last time.
But you don’t get to die, asshole.
“Put the guns down, August,” I command it. Because if he doesn’t, I’ll kill everyone in this room.
I’ll drag it out for days.
I’ll drag him around by a chain at his neck and keep him as a slave until he grows old and dies.
I’ll dice out chunks of his skin every day, slice him open and sew him back up, over and over again.
My nails grow into sharp claws at my sides and I step forward once.
“Put. Them. Down.” I speak slowly. My heart is beating wildly in my chest and I hope he sees it in my face.
His miserable future.
I’d guessed who he was with a single glance.
He is a well-kept man. A man with a charming face—high cheekbones, a strong jawline and pretty hazel eyes.
He’s built like a predator of his own—tall, lean, muscular—and wrapped head to toe in the finest warm clothes—a navy blue long coat, black pants, and a lapel sweater that fits tightly around his body.
He only grapples with his shock for a single masterful moment, before attempting to regain control of the situation.
“If… I do that,” August’s voice is smooth and melodic in the air, calm on the surface, and within seconds, a calculating look has entered his eyes, whereas average men would’ve been lost for words.
“What stops you from killing me?”
My eyes narrow.
I expand my senses. Until I can hear the heartbeat of every man in the room, count their breaths, predict how jittery they are.
I raise my gun and pull the trigger four times, each bullet burrowing into four heads.
Four men who dared to point their guns at my person.
My act of violence breaks August’s men out of their shock. They stagger back with creeping fear and I’m relieved when they turn their fire on me instead.
I pull four of my wings in front of me, leaving the lower two spread wide to protect the men behind me, and their bullets sink into the tough feathers, momentum halted completely, before falling to the floor.
When they’ve used up their clips, or at least most of their bullets, I feel the need to flutter my wings, to shake out the flattened ammunition stuck in my feathers.
August doesn’t look the slightest bit afraid.
Even though I can hear the pounding of his heart from here.
“Are you the one who’s been helping the Taigas ruin all my plans?” He asks coolly.
I don’t answer.
The other men in the room have lost their composure. I can tell from how fast their hearts are beating—can see the hesitation and new fear in their eyes as they share glances and step back.
It was a split-second decision, but I chose this form specifically for that reason.
To make them hesitate.
I step forward, but the moment I do, August grabs a gun from the nearest man—
And points it directly at Reuben.
Before I can think clearly, the barrel of my gun is pointed directly between his eyes. My glare is hot and deadly as I snarl, “Don’t test me.”
“Christian,” Xavier calls my name firmly from behind me, a bid to get my attention, but I’m focused entirely on the threat pressing a gun to Reuben’s head.
If he pulls that trigger, I’ll kill him.
I’ll swear it to every god that exists on every fucking planet in the universe.
“Christian,” August repeats the name, testing it on his tongue, and I know the exact moment he figures it out.
The exact moment he pieces it together.
Cunning snake.
“So you’re the one I’ve been looking for all this time.” His words tighten the snake’s grip around my heart. It drives a shuddering cold through my toes to my fingertips.
“Christian Adler. The dead man… the fake,” he’s talking mostly to himself, as though he is still in complete control, pressing the gun into Reuben’s head. My scowl deepens as he continues, “The man who killed my brother… and the one who destroyed the Lesters.”
My heart stops for a single moment. The snake is sinking its teeth into me. Inch by inch.
“I should’ve considered it,” he continues calmly, tilting his head. “I told your Underboss it didn’t need to come to this… if they’d just given you up.”
The pain is agonizing. The realization. The self-loathing.
Somehow, I’d guessed it along the way. That I was the one August wanted. That I might be the reason August started this war.
Don’t let it show.
Don’t let it show.
“The little boss refused knowing anything about you—Aster—I think his name was.”
His words are not what I expected, and my throat tightens against my will.
Reuben’s expression becomes fierce even from beneath his gun, and I can hear him cursing August to hell and back, even with the tape across his mouth.
“Yet here you are,” August ignores him, eyes glittering curiously. “You were the one who destroyed the Lesters, weren’t you? The Harvester’s backers.”
“And I suppose you were their investor,” I add to his musing, speaking calmly. Appearing unfazed. “Giving them the money they needed to pull off their operations.”
“Correct.” The snake actually manages a smile in this situation… and I hate that he has the upper hand.
“So what do you want with me, August?” I ask simply, but the barrel of my gun doesn’t waver—it remains firmly pointed at the spot between his eyes.
“Work for me.”
How strange it is, that I remember hearing those words once before.
That I seem to have gone full circle and yet back in time. To when Reuben spoke those words to me in a room far, far away from here—a light in the midst of my darkness.
“I refuse.” This time, my reply is immediate and cold.
Because this man is the monster that lurks in the darkness.
My actions until now were what caught his attention, because I didn’t stay in the confines of Christian Adler.
I am the reason Reuben’s family is being pushed to the brink.
And every beat of my heart after that realization...
It hurts.
It is a darkness that seeps into my tired bones. A darkness that robs me of the dream I thought I saw, here with the Taiga family… here by Reuben’s side.
When I step forward, August’s eyes narrow. His heart rate spikes and I see the exact moment when he finds the gall. I can predict his next shot before he makes it.
My bullet is there to block his, when he points his gun at Reuben’s mother—
When he aims for her leg.
My bullet blocks his and I am faster. My second shot knocks August’s gun out of his hand and to the floor. He takes a single step back, eyes narrowing with subtle displeasure, before shaking his hand out from the impact and huffing through his nose.
As though he’d barely been stung by a bee.
I’m hating him more and more as time passes.
“Work for me and I can have my men stop the attacks on their shipments,” he tries again, calmly. “I can have them pull out of the war.”
“I'm sure they'll do that after you die,” I reply slowly.
“They won't,” he says it with such certainty, I know it's not a lie. “Even if you kill me, I've already given the order for the other families to move—the Ximenez. The Romanos. This family will be wiped out within a week.”
“… Then I'll kill them next.” I tilt my head, a calculated gesture to appear relaxed. Unbothered. “After you.”
August blinks. For the first time, his mouth opens and closes soundlessly, with uncertainty.
“Even... for what you are, you can’t fight an entire continent of families.”
“You don’t know what I am, August.” I shift as I say the words. My voice changes into something lighter and higher. Until I’ve become a woman with familiar soft features. A woman with beautiful black braids, bright golden eyes and dark skin, and the voice that leaves my lips isn’t mine…
It’s Evelyn’s.
“I can do anything.”
I can see I’ve unnerved him, by the way his fingers twitch at his sides. By the way his heart rate spikes. He may have been looking for me… but there is no way I am what he expected.
“I can give the glory back to the Taiga family,” he tries to negotiate with me, the snake. “With my investments and support I could put everything back the way it was. Their shipments. Their routes.”
“Is this your way of begging for your life?” My eyes—Evie’s eyes—narrow unforgivingly as I step forward. “They’ve made do without your money before.”
“Not this time they won’t.” Again, with that certainty I hate. “I'm satisfied enough with you, fake Adler.”
Something about those words makes my feet stop.
“I already have men hidden inside this family. You'll be fighting multiple battles without knowing who you can trust.” He watches me knowingly, though I know by now he’s only grasping at straws. “Without the guns. Without your… Aster.”
My mask cracks, if only for a moment.
When my eyes snap to Reuben, I don't see him.
I see Aster’s body.
And I can’t hear the beating of his heart. I can't sense any warmth from him.
My gun trembles. Again, there’s that pain, coursing through me.
And August the bastard, he finds his lifeline.
He finds my weakness.
“There won’t be any need for further bloodshed,” he adds softly.
The kindness in his eyes is false, made small by the glimmer of triumph that gleams there.
Still, my hand trembles. Still, I must fight to keep the tears away. I must dig my fingers into my skin to hold them back. To hide my weakness.
“Don’t listen to him,” Xavier’s voice is there by my ear.
But I can feel the hatred in Baal’s glare from here, like needles against my skin.
Unwelcoming. Hostile. Blaming me.
Because I am the reason his brother died.
I am the reason his family is shattered. That their glory is fading.
There are tearstains across Reuben’s mother’s face. Agony ebbing from her usually tall frame… She hasn’t looked up once from the body of her dead child.
I lower my gun and the satisfaction in August’s eyes crawls my skin.
He’s right.
The Taiga family won’t be able to fight… and they shouldn’t have to. Everything up to this point has been because of my involvement.
How bold would I have to be to say no?
The grief is raw in Reuben’s eyes as he looks at me.
I know it must be consuming him... yet still he shakes his head rapidly, glaring.
His eyes are telling me he won’t forgive me if I go.
Every pore of his skin is telling me this is not my fault.
I can feel his desperation even from here, telling me not to back down. Begging me to fight.
‘Don’t go anywhere.’
I wish I were more like you, Reuben.
I wish I could see what you see, when you look at me—what drives you to choose me even now, after everything I’ve done…
When I’ve ruined everything of yours just by being near you.
“You’ll put everything back.” My terms are slow from my mouth as I turn to face August, feigning disinterest, “And stay out of the Taiga’s affairs. You'll leave them alone.”
There’s the barest sigh of relief on his lips as he raises his hand for his men to stand down and drop their weapons.
“It’s a deal.” August’s word is all I need. It’s all I have, really.
Xavier grabs my arm.
He’s telling me something again. Scolding me.
You’re always scolding me.
When I turn to him, I put the wings away. They disappear into my body, and I return to my male form, clicking my teeth with frustration, “Stand down.”
“No,” Gabriel grinds through his teeth.
“Stand down,” I repeat, more firmly, piercing him with a cold stare. Drawing the line between us, with a bored expression, “Don’t make me force you.”
The change in my demeanour has shocked him. It has brought a new uncertainty to his eyes… as though he’s no longer sure who I am.
And that’s okay.
That’s how it needs to be.
Xavier’s expression is fierce, “This isn’t going to solve anything—”
“Maybe,” I cut him off lazily, pressing my gun into his chest for him to take it. “But your kind breaks easily. I can’t protect all of you in a war. It’d also be tasteless of me to fight one on your behalf when I started it.”
I cast him a single dismissive glance before turning back to August, ignoring the heaviness in my heart, “… So let it go. Take your people out of here.”
“You’re doing it again.” Xavier grabs my arm to stop me with a hiss. “You’re using yourself to protect us… On the ship. In the truck accident. For the kid—”
“Let it go, Xavier.” I wrench free of his grip with false irritation, scowling. “Use your head. Like you did before.”
Hurt flashes across his face when he catches my meaning and my mask slips for the barest of moments. My expression softens with the sound of my voice, “You’re smart… So let it go.”
He releases my arm, a whirlwind of emotions filtering through his eyes and I put the walls back up. Hiding behind the mask I’m used to and slipping into character. Unfazed. Bored. Bested.
Neither of them stops me from crossing the room, and I ignore Reuben’s gaze as August hands me a belted choker with a silver ring.
“You want me to wear a collar?” I raise a brow, mostly because I didn’t think my day could get any worse.
“I made it just for you.” The curiosity in his eyes sickens me. “Though I did think you’d be… bigger.”
Another asshole.
There are so many wandering around; this city has a real problem.
“I’ll kill you one day, you know.” I grin lazily, but there’s a strange amusement in his eyes, as though he’s enjoying every moment.
“I don’t doubt that.”
Ugh.
When I put the collar around my neck… I can only hope it convinces you to let me go, Reuben.
I hope you realize I am a cheap price to pay.
That there isn’t anything special about me, who has nothing, not even a face, to call his own…
You said you’d chase me… but this time, I won’t let you.
Some things are just not worth chasing after.