25. Laney
After the incident with the flight attendant’s sister, I didn’t stay at Reed’s house.
A part of me wanted to, but I have a dirty little secret. I wanted to go back to my home, with the razorblade, and the blood.
I’ve been cutting, and I don’t want any of them to know about it. I know what kind of reaction they’ll have—they’ll be horrified and probably never let me out of their sight again.
I also want to get back to my laptop. I haven’t scheduled another appointment with the therapist—though I probably should—and have been tapping out my story on the keyboard instead.
I don’t want to tell Reed or the boys about either of these things, though, so even when they practically beg me to stay, I refuse them. I try not to see the pain in their eyes.
I keep to myself, checking in on Cade every now and then to make sure he’s doing okay, but otherwise just focusing on what is becoming a book.
A light rap of knuckles sounds on the trailer door, and I turn my face from the bright light of the laptop screen, wrenching my thoughts from the scene I’m writing—the one where Cade caught me in the river masturbating over Dax.
Irritation at being interrupted floods through me, but I go to answer it.
It’s my neighbor, Sonny.
“Oh, hi,” I say. “What’s up?”
I’m self-conscious in the short skirt I’m wearing and tug at the hem.
“Thought I’d come and see how you’re doing,” he says. “ I don’t know if you need help with anything.”
I think of the broken awning on the front of the trailer.
While I want to be independent, I also know there’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help now and then.
It’s been driving me crazy at night, flapping and rattling against the side of the trailer.
If any bad weather comes in, the wind will rip it right off.
“Actually, there is something.”
His expression brightens. “Sure. Just name it.”
I step outside to join him and show him the awning. “It’s stuck. I can’t roll it back in, and the noise is keeping me awake half the night.”
I should have been used to a little noise after living in the cabin—the branches of trees tapping on the roof like skeletal fingers, the wind howling through gaps in the windows, the noises of wild animals outside.
But I wasn’t alone then. I’d been sandwiched between Reed and Cade and Dax, and they’d helped to keep any fears at bay.
“Give me a minute, and I’ll go grab my tools.”
“Of course.”
He’s as good as his word and returns with a tool bag.
There’s something attractive about a man with a tool bag.
It means they’re capable, and generally good with their hands.
I think how much easier it would be if I was interested in someone like Sonny.
He’s around my age, and I’m guessing we’d have a normal kind of relationship.
No worries about our group dynamic, or that I’m being shared around by a father and his two sons.
It wouldn’t matter if people found out about our relationship, and the press wouldn’t care. There would be no story in it.
He catches my eye and gives a small smile, and I realize I’ve been staring while I’d been lost in thought.
My cheeks grow warm. “Can I get you something cold to drink?”
“Sounds good.”
I leave him busying himself with the awning and a screwdriver and go back inside to make iced tea.
I carry two tall glasses back out for us both.
“How’s this?” He uses the pole to roll the awning back and forth. It moves smoothly and without any rattle.
“That’s perfect. Thank you so much.”
“Just make sure you keep it rolled in if it looks like the wind is going to come up again.”
“I will.”
Should I offer him money for fixing it? That doesn’t feel right, somehow. I guess the iced tea will have to do. I hold his glass out to him, the outside beaded with condensation. As he takes it from me, our fingertips brush.
I have a small table and chairs positioned outside. I gesture for him to sit. It’s not as though I have many friends. I’d always been ashamed as a kid—of both my mom and where I lived—and so had never wanted to get close to anyone.
He takes a sip of his drink. “What was it like, being out in the middle of nowhere all that time?”
I’m always conscious that someone might be trying to get information out of me so they can sell my story, so I don’t give any details other than what’s already been reported.
“Scary,” I admit, “and we were always hungry.”
He gives a lopsided grin. “I can’t even imagine being really hungry like that. I get hangry if I’m an hour past my lunch, and even then, I always know I can swing by the drive-thru.”
“You kind of get used to it. It’s worst the first few days, but I guess your stomach shrinks or something.
To be honest, I haven’t really found my appetite even since I’ve been back.
At the cabin, we used to have all these long conversations about what foods we’d want to eat and what we missed the most, but since I’ve been back, I haven’t even wanted much. ”
He eyes me curiously. “Do you think you’ll ever get on another plane?”
I huff air out through my nose in a small laugh. “I had to get on one to come home again, but I don’t know. It wasn’t my choice in the first place. I was under Reed’s guardianship, so I had to go where he went.”
“Do you blame him for the crash?”
The question surprises me. “Of course not. Why would I?”
He rethinks. “Okay, maybe not the crash, but the reason you were on the plane.”
“No. He took me in when I had no one else.”
If I could go back and change things, would I?
It would mean never having met the guys, but also never having to go through the assault and rape, or the crash.
No, I simply can’t imagine my life now without them in it.
No one else is ever going to come close to them, the way they make me feel, the way they love me, our histories, the sex we have.
I realize I know nothing about Sonny’s family, or his life. All we’ve talked about is mine. “Who do you live with?”
“No one—currently, anyway. I lived with my dad until a couple of years ago, but he got a job in New York state, so he took off. I didn’t care. The two of us weren’t exactly getting along.”
“Have you never gotten along?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Maybe when I was younger, but the minute I got older and wanted to do my own thing, we started to clash. I think he always saw me as a small extension of himself, but when I didn’t want to do the stuff he did, he took it like a personal insult or something.”
“What sort of thing did he like to do?”
“Fishing, mostly. He’d sit for hours, just staring out across the water. Bored the hell out of me. He’d drag me along, and then complain about me being on my phone. What else was I supposed to do? Just sit there? I didn’t get it.”
All I can think is that it must be nice to have a dad who wanted to do something with you, to spend quality time with you. I never had that. Maybe that’s why I have daddy issues.
“What about your mom?” I ask.
“They separated years ago. Mom wanted to live her own life, so I stayed with my dad. I’m not sure what she’s doing now. She gets in touch every now and then.”
Though his parents don’t exactly sound perfect, I still discover I’m jealous he has them somewhere in the world.
“Who the fuck is this?”
I jump at the loud male voice and turn toward it.
The shape of Cade creates a huge silhouette against the sun.
“Cade, this is my neighbor, Sonny. He’s just been helping me out with some stuff.”
A muscle ticks in Cade’s jaw. “Helping you out? We can help you if you need it. You don’t need to ask some strange man.”
“He’s not a strange man.” I grind my teeth. “He’s my neighbor. He helped me.”
“Yeah, ’cause he’s probably using it as a way to get inside your pants.”
“Cade!”
He jerks his chin at Sonny. “Is that what you’re trying to do? You trying to fuck my little sister?”
“Cade!” I cry again.
Sonny is on his feet now, both hands held up in defense. “Hey, dude, I wasn’t trying to do anything. I was only being neighborly.”
“Bullshit. I’m a guy. I know no man helps a young, pretty woman out unless they think they’re going to get their dick sucked.”
Sonny’s eyes go wide. “I wasn’t! I swear I wasn’t.”
“You’re a fucking liar.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” I demand of Cade.
“It’s okay, Laney,” Sonny says. “I’ll go.”
“You don’t have to do that. Cade should be the one who leaves.” I glare at him.
Cade folds his arms across his massive chest. “No chance.”
“Really,” Sonny continues, “it’s fine. I don’t want to come between family. I’ll catch up with you later, Laney.”
Cade stares at him as he walks away, and then turns to me. “Family? Is that what he thinks we are?”
“Aren’t we?” I challenge.
“We’re so much more than that, and you know it.”
I angle my head and fold my arms, matching his body language. “But I can’t tell people that, can I?” I lower my voice to a hiss. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Sonny, this is my stepbrother Cade, who I also happen to be fucking. Oh, yeah, I’m fucking his brother and father as well.’”
His eyes narrow. “No, but you still don’t need to be offering him iced tea and hanging out like you’re interested in him.”
“Fuck you, Cade,” I say, turning away. “You are such a fucking asshole, sometimes.”
He reaches out and grabs my wrist, halting me. “You make me crazy. I see red when I find you with another man. I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Other than your brother and your father,” I point out.
“That’s different. They’re a part of me, too.”
I give a half laugh and shake my head. “You’re fucking insane.”
He pulls me closer. “I want you. I need you.”
“Cade…” There’s a warning in my tone. He needs to keep his voice down. Someone might overhear him.
“I’m addicted to you, Laney. I need to feel you around my cock. I need to taste your pussy. I need your tongue in my mouth.”
I hate the way my body reacts to him, but it does. My lips tingle, my nipples tighten, and desire coils at my core.