Chapter 8 #2
A small gasp escaped me as I saw two men dancing with a woman pressed between them.
Their hands roamed freely over the woman, one trailing underneath her skirt while the other dipped into the top of her dress.
Their free hands, however, cupped each other’s faces and they kissed over her, before she herself forced them to kiss her lips.
It was beautiful and sensual, and made color flame in my cheeks.
I had never witnessed such a display of freedom and sexuality.
Like it was fluid and made to be appreciated rather than shoved into a tight box and buried.
I thought of my upbringing and the things I had been told. Damnation had my name written all over it for what I craved, yet seeing people enjoy themselves so openly made me wonder. Was love confined only to men and women, or could it be seen as beautiful with being tarnished by prejudice?
“What do you think?” Levette asked after a while, his voice wavering as though he was unsure how I was taking everything in.
“It’s magnificent,” I whispered, the awe clear in my voice. “But I can’t help but think allowing myself this freedom will only get me further in trouble. I do not want to go to Hell, Levy, but I am sick of pretending to be someone I am not.”
Levette reached across the table, cupping my face in his hands. His violet irises bore into mine, sending delightful chills down my spine. “Forget damnation, even if just for tonight. Don’t think. Allow yourself to feel, mon cher. Do not deprive yourself of happiness anymore.”
He stood, offering his hand to me. “Dance with me, love.”
I looked out towards the crowd again and realized Levette was right. Even if it was just for one night, I wanted to feel the happiness that freedom could afford me. I slipped my hand into his and allowed him to pull me to the dance floor.
Levette had chosen a black suit with grey pinstripes, but the long overcoat he’d adorned was abandoned at our table, leaving the tightness of his dress shirt on show.
I admired him as we walked into the middle of the floor, smiling proudly to be the one with him as I saw admirers’ gazes linger on him.
A small doze of fear shot through me as Levette spun to face me, pulling me close by the waist. I looked around us, expecting to see the self-righteous looks I normally received, only to notice that nobody was watching us. We were in our own world, and I didn’t have to hide.
“Thank you,” I whispered, looking at my companion, “for bringing me here. For letting me experience this.”
Levette’s hand trailed over my lower back, the other squeezing my hip gently.
“ De rien, mon cher. I admit, I was not confident you wouldn’t see it and run in the opposite direction.
But I had hope that this,” he said, lifting his hand from my hip to place it over my heart, “would beat hard enough for you to stay. To live for a night.”
“You make me want to stay wherever you are,” I confessed shyly, biting on my lower lip.
“As do you, Warren. Why else do you think I haven’t been able to leave you since we met? Your soul calls to me. You have enchanted me in a way I did not think possible.”
I looked into his eyes and felt my gaze fall to his lips. He had told me once that he longed for the day I felt brave again; Levette had unknowingly forced my bravery to the surface, and I couldn’t have been more glad.
Lifting my hand up, I cupped his jaw as gently as I could, and slowly brought my lips to his. I knew I was shaking, nerves and confusion and fear built up for years fighting within me, but Levette let out a soft moan and tightened his grip on me, pulling me closer.
His lips were smooth and he tasted like honey and the wine we were drinking. It was intoxicating and unlike anything I had ever felt. Kissing him broke down whatever was left of my walls, and I never wanted to stop. If that was what freedom felt like, I never wanted to be caged in again.
“Mon amour,” Levette whispered against me, his forehead resting on mine. Our breaths mingled together as we remained pressed tightly, my hand running through his hair at the back of his head. “Your bravery is the sweetest and most pure thing I have ever tasted. Thank you for giving it to me.”
“You made me brave,” I replied, moving to rest my cheek against his. “Let us be courageous together.”
Time passed slowly, and for once in my life, I was grateful for it. To be able to experience beauty and love and freedom was a gift, one I cherished.
When my feet became sore and my energy was beginning to wane, Levette led me back to our table where I collapsed into my chair, propping my arms on the edge.
In the warm lighting, I could focus on Levette’s almost divine beauty—his dark hair framed his face in soft waves, his violet eyes shimmering with flecks of gold from the lights, his skin seemingly kissed by sunlight I knew he could not walk in… Not then, at least.
“You are beautiful,” I said quietly, smiling at him in contentment.
Levette’s full lips turned upwards, and the genuineness of it made me realize just how much of himself he also locked away. Levette Fortier had been lonely long before he strolled into The Carousel, and threw the trajectory of my life sideways.
I looked around us at all the people dancing and laughing together. It had been some time since I had been able to share that with anyone, and I pondered if it was the same for Levette.
“Do you have any friends?” I asked, hoping it was not too prying to ask. “You have never mentioned anyone, and I know how lonely life can be without another to share it with.”
Levette’s smile turned sad and he turned to watch the crowd. “I had a friend called Ria. But it has been a long time since I have seen her.”
“Had?” I questioned gently. “What happened to her?”
“Ria is a free spirit, I think one would call her. She has always been one to…travel. We never seem to have much luck in being able to spend time with one another before she has to leave again.”
There was something about his carefully chosen words that felt like he was deliberately omitting some information, yet his tone was so heartbroken that it made me not want to pry further about whatever he was not telling me.
“You must miss her.”
Levette turned his gaze back to me, pain shining in his irises. “More than life itself. Ria is everything pure and good about humanity. Actually, I think you and her would get along rather well. She has your kind spirit.”
Despite the logical part of my brain telling me not to ask, I could not help myself from wondering if there was something more between them. Levette spoke about her with so much reverence that, much to my own dismay, it created a spark of jealousy in my heart.
I tapped my fingers on the table in beat with the music, trying my best not to ask. After a few tense moments—though perhaps I was the only one tense—I could no longer contain it.
“Were you and Ria…together?” I blurted out.
Levette looked at me for a moment before he chuckled, breaking out in a full grin. “Heavens, no! I have never looked at Ria like that, and I never would. Neither of us take much joy in the company of the opposite gender, and I know that even if we did, we would never see each other like that.”
“Oh,” I said, covering my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment. “I should not have asked.”
“Come now, cher, do not hide from me.” Levette pried my hands away, amusement still prevalent on his face as he smiled.
“You need not be so sheepish around me. I think the genuineness of your question to be flattering.” He leaned in, his lips tickling the shell of my ear. “Tell me, love, were you jealous?”
“Oh Lord,” I groaned, dropping my head onto his shoulder. His laughter shook his body and I found myself chuckling with him, my cheeks aflame.
“I know Ria would find it highly amusing and extremely favorable that our friendship is filled with so much love, that it would appear romantic to someone who does not know us. I, myself, find it to be absolutely adorable that you would be unsettled enough to ask.”
I sat up, shaking my head. Levette beamed and I took a long drink, willing my blush to settle. “Can we never speak of this again? Perfect, thank you.”
“As you wish, mon cher.”
Throughout the rest of the night, Levette could not wipe that smug smile off his face.
We danced so much that night that my feet hurt, but the elation I felt transcended everything.
Being able to give into what I felt for Levette had awoken a passion in me and I was desperate not to let go.
The night wore on and I cursed my mind for reminding me that the night would end and things would go back to normal.
Levette had gone to get us more drinks when a beautiful older woman approached our table. Her hair was wrapped in a colorful scarf, and I admired the intricacy of the design and how she had chosen jewelry to match.
“Hello,” I greeted her with a genuine smile.
She looked me up and down, her answering smile tight. “You new here, aren’t ya?” She spoke with a thick, Creole accent.
“Yes, ma’am. Came here with a friend.”
She reached her hand out and I accepted, shaking gently. Only when I went to pull away, she gripped it tighter, covering it with her other hand.
“Oh, he got his claws in you real deep,” she said, shaking her head. Her lip curled in disgust. “You gon’ need to run or soon it’ll be his fangs an’ all.”
I ripped my hand away, shoving my chair back and standing in anger. “What the hell are you talking about?”
The woman reached for me again, but I took a step back.
“You in danger. Get out before he eats you up.”
“Who are you?”
“Ah, I see you’ve met Josephine.” Levette stepped up beside me, sliding his arm around my waist. “It’s been a long time, Josie.”
Josephine narrowed her eyes at Levette. “Not long enough. My mama prayed you’d never come back here.”
“Your mother?” I asked, interrupting.
Levette squeezed my waist gently. “I’ve known Josephine’s family for a long time. Miss Josephine here is a self-proclaimed witch. I could never quite get her mother to like me, though.”
“‘Cause she knew what you were,” Josephine snapped. “Poor woman died still cursing your name.”
I looked at Levette in horror, wondering who this woman was and why she was being so cruel. “I think you should leave us alone, ma’am. We just came to have a nice evening.”
Josephine looked me over with both pity and disgust on her face. “Oh, I want nothing more to do with him, boy. You should take my advice.”
Levette cursed under his breath in French, words I had never heard before. I slipped my hand into his and squeezed gently. “Let’s go home. Find us a streetcar?”
Without arguing, as though he needed to step out into the fresh air as much as I thought he did, Levette nodded and took off. Once he was out of sight, I turned back to the witch of the bayou.
“What is your problem with him?” I inquired, unable to hide the bite from my tone.
“You’re a fool,” she commented, spitting on the floor between us. “My mama knew he was a demon all them years ago, and nobody listened. Now he’s back again.”
I reared back. “What did you call him?”
Josephine laughed coldly. “Your cher is in league with the Devil. He a demon and he gon’ eat you up. Soul and all. I told you to run, but he too deep in you, ain’t he?”
A cold wave of reality and fear washed over me and I turned, running out of the barn and into the night. I ran and ran until I broke through the trees, falling to my knees. My stomach churned and I vomited, bile and wine splattering into the dirt.
“Mon cher!” I heard Levette call, but I ignored him, emptying my stomach out. Once it was empty and I stopped heaving, I leaned back against a tree trunk and waited for him to find me.
Even when I was scared, I couldn’t bring myself to leave him.
“Warren!” Levette ran over to me when he caught sight of me through the trees, dropping to his knees at my feet. He pulled me to him, hugging me into his chest. “I was so worried! Are you okay?”
“Josephine…” I croaked, feeling tears well in my eyes.
“That crazy witch! I am sorry if she scared you. I should have warned you that the bayou was full of fantasists. It’s why they’re so tolerable.”
I looked up at him, gripping his shirt in my hand. “She hated you, Levette. Why?”
Levette winced. “I was friends with her family, as I told you. Her eldest brother, Leroy, was my best friend in my youth. He had an accident one summer, drowned in the bayou and didn’t wash up until months later.
He…we…We were well acquainted. Josephine’s mother blamed our dalliance for his death.
She had the thinking of the city folks, despite living out here.
Disdain passed through generations is hard to break. ”
“That’s awful,” I said, sniffling. “I’m sorry about your friend.”
Levette pulled back so he could look at me better, running his hand along the side of my face. “That was a long time ago and part of the reason I left New Orleans. I thought time would make things better, but it clearly did not help heal Josie’s family.”
I pulled myself up so I was sitting back against the tree, letting Levette’s hands roam my arms and sides as though he was checking for injuries.
“You had to flee even though you were grieving.”
Levette shrugged. “Mon cher, I do not want to think about back then. I lived a lifetime in between. Tonight was the start of something more. Let us not waste it with tales of woe.”
He pulled me to my feet then and the streetcar arrived shortly after. I let Levette fuss over me as we made the drive back into the city, though the wonder of the journey was tainted by the constant stream of thoughts in my head.
As usual, Levette waited until I was inside before he walked the rest of the distance home. Only when I saw him turn the corner of the street did I collapse onto the floor and let the tears flow.
I had let myself feel happiness, only for shame and sorrow to color over it. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, and I knew that it would not be the last time I visited the bayou.
Something wasn’t sitting right, and I had to find out what. Whether Levette was telling the truth or Josephine was right, I had to discover what I had gotten myself into.
But even as I lay in bed that night, my mind replaying the entire evening on a loop, my thoughts always went back to my first kiss with Levette. The world had stopped moving, and everything had become brighter in that moment.
It terrified me that some part of me knew finding out the truth would not make me walk away from him.
Levette had opened my eyes and my heart, and I was not willing to give him up.