Chapter 37 #2
Most of my staff had opted to take the holiday off, and even some of my vampires liked to celebrate amongst the mortals.
I kept one or two of my establishments open for those who were lonely during the festive season, but chose to work to keep my mind busy instead.
To me, Christmas was just another day to stay focused.
I was sitting on the soon-to-be dance floor with a bunch of paint color samples spread out around me when Warren walked in, looking surprised to see me. I was confused at first, until I realized the hulking brute beside him, hands entwined.
“Levette, hi!” Warren greeted brightly, pulling his friend with him. “Merry Christmas! I didn’t expect you to be here. You’re not celebrating?”
“No, I had work to do,” I said, jumping to my feet. “What are you doing here?”
“We’re just heading to midnight mass, but we were passing by, and I wanted to show Liam around.”
I looked from Warren to Liam, doing my best to keep my composure.
The boyfriend was blonde, tall, and overly muscled in a shirt that was at least two sizes too small for his biceps.
I hated those types; the ones that had to accentuate the physique they very clearly had. It was trying too hard, in my opinion.
He was also very, very human.
“You attend church again?” I asked, desperate to pull my thoughts back under control.
Warren smiled, looking almost sheepish. I was reminded of his human years and how his skin used to blush when he smiled like that. I always found it to be the most adorable thing.
“Sometimes. I go when I can…when my head allows it.” He shrugged, sighing softly. “It’s still a battle.”
I stared at him for a moment and saw him watching me back, waiting for my reaction.
Warren had spent his entire life in battle with himself and his religion.
It had physically hurt me to watch, to see the way he hated himself because of the doctrine that had been forced on him.
But beneath that had been his beautiful heart, which clung desperately to his faith.
Even when I didn’t understand it, I had loved it for him.
It was a comfort he deserved, and I was selfishly jealous that it was not something I felt I deserved, nor did I have the optimism to believe it.
I knew God was real, but if it was between the two of us, I knew who would be saved from perdition and who would be burning in Hell.
My smile was genuine, and as it spread across my face and I saw the visible relief on Warren’s, I realized just how proud I was of him.
“You fought so hard for that,” I told him, feeling the weight of my own words, “and I am so glad that you found that peace.”
Even if I couldn’t help you get there.
That was the cruel, heartbroken words left unsaid.
They left a bitter taste on my tongue, but I refused to say them aloud.
It was selfish to wish that I had been the one to guide him back, to know that it was my love that had helped him flourish and find peace. I knew that, but I felt it all, anyway.
Warren’s eyes glazed over, and he sniffled, unable to break eye contact with me. “Thank you. I-I didn’t know how you would feel about it.”
That felt like a sucker punch to my stomach.
There was no malice to his words, no bite that made me think it was an accusation.
No, it was just a fear he had because I had not always supported him as I should have.
I had told him he would find his salvation, even as his obsession with damnation angered me.
“I’m proud,” I admitted, hoping he could feel how much it emanated from me. “I am so proud. You deserve to hear His voice again, to know that you are loved so greatly.”
To know that you are loved by Him, as well as me.
I couldn’t say those words either, so I shoved them deep down inside me and pretended that I hadn’t thought them. But no matter how much I tried to pretend otherwise, the truth would always be there: I loved him as much as I ever had, and nothing would change that.
Not even a stupid, G.I. Joe-looking human boyfriend.
“Anyway,” I said, eager to move the conversation along before I stopped hindering what I really wanted to say, “Luke, was it?”
The dopey human grinned at me as though we were friends, sticking his hand out between us. “Liam. Super nice to meet you, bro.”
Bro. This was who Warren wanted? Some freaking gym-bro who looked like an action figure, went to church, and probably had exactly five thoughts in his head?
“Levette. It’s a pleasure,” I replied dryly, forcing a smile onto my face as I returned his handshake.
I was going to rip his arm off and slap him in the face with it.
Warren had chosen a paramour who was opposite to me in every way, and I couldn’t help but take it as a slight towards me.
I had failed him, so he ran off and found someone drastically different.
Now he was living out his whole human fantasy with his mortal boyfriend, who could go to church with him.
I hated how much it hurt.
Looking between us as though he could sense the very real danger Liam was about to be in if he spoke to me again, Warren coughed and pointed to the paint samples I’d been sorting through. “Did you pick a color?”
I shook my head, grabbing the two squares I was deciding between. “I have yet to find a perfect shade for the walls. This cherry color is rather alluring, but perhaps it’s too on the nose to go with red?”
“Would hide the blood stains,” Warren interjected.
“That’s what I was thinking, too. Which shade of these do you like? Is cherry the correct one? It has to be perfect because I absolutely will repaint the entire place if I don’t like how it turns out.”
Liam peered over Warren’s shoulder and nodded his approval. I barely struggled to contain the growl in my throat at their proximity. “Cherry red would be awesome.”
I am going to rip your throat out and see if your blood is cherry red.
Warren opened his mouth to agree, but I grabbed the samples back. “I think I’ll go with this garnet red instead. It’s a deeper color, closer to blood,” I said, pointedly looking at the human.
Liam swallowed apprehensively and stepped back, grabbing at Warren’s hand. “Let’s go, babe.”
“Why don’t you go wait outside for me? I have a few business questions to go over with Levy first.”
Liam inclined his head to me. “Nice to meet you, Levy.”
“Levette,” Warren and I corrected simultaneously. Nobody apart from him was allowed to use my endearment.
Liam looked at us both before sighing, heading to wait outside like the good little pet he was. Once he was out of earshot, Warren turned to me with a knowing look, his eyebrows raised. “You don’t like him.”
“I don’t know him.”
“You could get to know him,” Warren suggested.
I scoffed. “He’s human.”
“I was human when we met.”
“Yeah, and I took that away from you, right? Your beating heart was always on my mind. You plan to change him?”
Warren sighed, clicking his tongue at me. “It’s not—we’re not—it doesn’t matter. No, I don’t plan on changing him.”
I narrowed my eyes, tilting my head as I watched him. It had been a long time since I had been able to study him in person, but apparently, I still knew all his tells.
“You love him? Your little human friend.”
Warren laughed, the sound bitter and forced. “Don’t be petty, Levette.”
“Don’t be petty? You picked a human to spend time with, to share your bed.
Why, after all this time? Is he more fun?
” I couldn’t help but be petty about it.
He was becoming part of Warren’s life in a way I no longer had access to, and it wasn’t fair.
I knew logically that it was my own fault, but I was still infuriated by it—by him.
How dare he share a bed with my Warren? “Perhaps he’s the companion you always wanted, yes? ”
“Oh, fuck you!” Warren yelled, hitting my chest. I looked down at where his hand had connected, not realizing when we’d gotten so close. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
There was a fire in his eyes that was sending thrills through my body, the grip on my control slowly slipping. I wanted him to be happy, but I absolutely hated that it wasn’t with me.
“I was too much of a monster, right? Je n'ai jamais été ce que tu désirais vraiment.”
Warren groaned, running his hand through his hair. I could see the irritation on his face, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to keep going.
“What does it matter? You fuck who you fuck, and I do the same! I wanted you to meet him. Is that really so bad?”
“Qu'est-ce que ca change? Tu es vraiment ignorant! Why would I want to meet him?”
Warren deflated, stepping back, increasing the distance between us. “Because we’re friends! I thought you’d care.”
I prowled forward until we were almost touching. Warren pressed up against the wall. “Friends? You think that I’d want to be cordial to who you’re fucking? Let me be besties with the next man who gets to know what you feel like when you’re writhing against him?”
Leaning closer, I pressed my face into his neck and inhaled slowly, feeling Warren tremble at our proximity. I smirked, pulling away. “No, I don’t think being friends is going to work.”
Warren blew out a breath and shook his head, laughing sardonically. “You can be a bastard, you know that?”
I shrugged. “Oui.”
“We’ve already proven that we can’t be lovers. So, if friends isn’t going to work, let’s just be colleagues. Once the club is up and running, I’ll leave you alone.” He made his way to the door, pausing before opening it. “You should find a way to be happy, Levette.”
“I was,” I said softly, watching his back. “But the man who made me happy left. Now we’re just strangers who know what the other tastes like.”