Chapter Four #2
“Almost ready?” Ryan asked, glancing up from his phone.
“For what?” Lachlan asked.
“Taking my ute to get the rest of your stuff.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it, mate.” Lachlan opened his locker and rubbed the towel too hard over his skin. “I can manage.”
“Thought you said you’d have to do two trips?” Ryan frowned. “It’s no hassle.”
There was Ryan, trying to be a good friend as always. Lachlan forced a smile. “Thanks, mate.”
In the gleaming black American-style ute—Ryan’s pride and joy—they made their way through the dregs of peak-hour traffic, which was getting worse in Perth with each passing year. It had nothing on Sydney, but still. Korn played through the speakers.
“Can’t believe that arsehole’s back.” Ryan’s mutter was barely audible over the thrashing beat.
Lachlan blew out a long breath. He’d been waiting, letting Ryan work up to it. “I’m sure he wants to spend time with you,” he half-shouted over the music. They’d never been ones for deep and meaningfuls, but sometimes things had to be said.
“He’s the last fuckin’ person I want to spend time with.”
“I know, but he’s still your dad. Don’t you think—”
“Why are you taking his side?”
“I’m not! I just think you should give him a chance.”
“Why the fuck should I do that after he dumped Mum? She moved out there for him. She stayed with him even after he spent my money. Then he just leaves her?”
“It’s been years, though. Your mum seems really happy with Wozza, doesn’t she?” Lachlan knew Ryan was venting and he shouldn’t argue with him, but… “I know your dad really messed up, but hasn’t he tried to make it up to you?”
Ryan scoffed. “Too little too late. I don’t need his money.”
This was how the brief conversations about Tim—Bull—had gone every time until Lachlan had given up years ago. “I just think you should consider giving him another chance. You never know what’ll happen.” An unfair flare of resentment rose like acid in his throat. “Your dad might not always be here.”
Gripping the steering wheel, Ryan seemed to take a breath to argue before deflating. “I know. Still, he shouldn’t have just rocked up to work without a word!”
“Didn’t you block him everywhere?”
Stopping at a red, Ryan sighed heavily. Lachlan recognized the tone of that sigh and took the opening.
“I know about the money. But…is there something else? When we were kids, you thought he was too strict sometimes. Still, it’s not like he ever hit you or anything. ” The thought made him sick. “Right?”
He didn’t really know the man. He’d had a fantasy that had roared back to life in an instant in Bali and turned decidedly adult. When he was a kid, Tim had been so kind and generous to him. Patient in a way his own dad hadn’t been. Still, he hadn’t known him.
Ryan blinked and shook his head. “’Course not. He’s an arsehole but not like that.” He pulled a face. “No way.”
Lachlan’s shoulders relaxed. “So, why is he such an arsehole? I know you hated moving away from Barking in year ten, but…people move. And it was the Gold Coast, not Woop Woop.”
“Still didn’t want to go, did I?” Ryan’s voice rose. “Sold our house right by the beach. Had to leave all my friends. When the accident happened, I was all the way on the other side of the country.”
It was Lachlan’s turn to blink in surprise. “Mate,” he said softly. He looked at Ryan’s familiar stubborn jaw with a rush of affection. “You were still there. Staying up late playing World of Warcraft with me. You always had my back, even when you were all the way on the Gold Coast.”
They might not have actually talked much about feelings after the accident, but that didn’t matter. Lachlan motioned with his hand. “I mean, look at what we’re doing right now. You always show up for me. Hope I do for you too.”
Acid curdled his stomach. When I’m not blowing your dad.
“Yeah, bro. Always.” Ryan held out his fist, and Lachlan bumped it.
For a minute, they drove with only the thudding beat and primal screams filling the air. Lachlan was about to turn the volume back up when Ryan spoke.
“The thing with my old man is… You remember our house here. How close it was to the beach. Fuck, I loved that house. Now it’s gone. Rich fucker who bought it tore it right down to build that ugly piece of shit.”
Lachie nodded with a wince. The huge house that had been erected on the small lot was a black and gray modern box. Cold and lifeless.
Probably a lawyer.
Ryan kept talking. “So, fine, he and Mum bought a new house out east—that was two Ks from the water because no way they could afford to be close out there. Then spent the rest on opening a surf school with his mate. That’s why we moved out there, remember?
He put every other penny into the business.
Said it was a sure thing.” Ryan snorted.
“Like he knew the first thing about it. Guess Uncle Scotty didn’t either, because it went bust. Then I found out when I graduated that he really had used every penny on it.
Including what he and Mum had put in the bank for me.
All the savings my nan and poppy had given them over the years for me to get started.
To get my own place and a ute or…or go to uni! All gone.”
“Right. There was no excuse.”
“You know uni costs more than ever these days. Never mind houses.”
“Did you…want to go to uni?”
“I might’ve!”
After a beat of silence, they both burst out laughing.
Ryan’s shoulders shook. “All right, fine—I was never going to uni. But shit, I still could’ve used that money!
” He grimaced. “And yeah, I should’ve gotten a job during school.
It wasn’t like I was spending my free time studying.
I was at the beach, thinking I had that account waiting for me.
” He shook his head. “I know parents don’t owe their kids money, but… ”
“No, but when you’re explicitly told it’s put aside for you, and your grandparents have been helping fund it, of course you expect it. It was a verbal contract at the very least.”
“Yeah, that’s what it was! And I never thought my dad would do that.”
“I didn’t see it coming either.”
Never would’ve thought I’d blow him in Bali, so who am I to talk?
“It’s the, what do you call it? The principle.
He moved us all the way out there for this surf school idea and then ends up as a lifeguard anyway.
We could’ve just stayed here for the same bloody result, and we’d still have our house.
It’s not fair. If we’d stayed, everything would’ve been fine.
He and Mum would still be together. Dad and I could’ve been working together all these years like I always thought.
Everything was perfect, and he stuffed it all up. ”
Lachlan blinked. It didn’t seem quite rational, but who was when it came to family? Most people didn’t like change, but Lachlan hadn’t realized quite how deeply Ryan was still holding on to that childhood resentment.
“Have you…talked to anyone about this?”
Ryan’s brow furrowed. “We’ve talked about it.”
“Barely. This is the most you’ve said about it…ever, I think.” He hesitated. “You remember after the accident, I spoke with this bloke my doc recommended, and it really helped me deal with, you know, how I was feeling?”
Ryan pulled a face. “What, like a shrink? I’m not crazy, bro. I don’t need that shit. I’m fine!”
Clearly. Okay, so that was going to be an uphill battle. “I didn’t say you were crazy. Was I crazy after my parents died?”
Ryan winced and pulled at his ear. “’Course not.
I’m just—I’m fine! I don’t need that stuff.
You sound like my mum right now. She tried to get me to go to some lady.
Besides, what about you? You’re not exactly talking about all your shit these days.
Like why you quit the job you’d wanted since we were groms.”
It was true, and now Lachlan had even more shit he most definitely did not want to talk about.
Ryan added, “All I need’s good waves, good mates, and good brew.”
Guilt was sticky and sharp, prickling Lachlan from head to toe as Ryan turned the volume back up, clearly finished with talking as they neared Lachlan’s building.
Once they had the rest of the boxes in the flatbed of the ute, Lachlan turned and took a last look at the building he’d been so excited to move into. It was a nondescript rectangle, though well kept. Streetlights gleamed off the windows.
“Hey, did you get Daz’s message?” Ryan asked as he walked around to the driver’s side.
“Huh? No, sorry.” He hadn’t even glanced at his phone.
“Since I couldn’t go to Bali, he’s gathering the lads next Saturday night for the Infernal Rhapsody concert. You’ve gotta be there. I’ll have the all-clear from the doc by then so I can party.”
Lachlan bit back a groan. Another night getting on the piss and listening to death metal was the last thing he wanted.
If Lachlan had successfully begged off Daz’s stag do, he’d never have met Tim in Bali.
Or if he’d just sucked it up and stayed with his mates at Kuta instead of treating himself to the night at the St. Regis.
If he hadn’t pretended to be someone else.
He should have been desperate for a reality where he’d never met Tim in Bali and deceived him while also betraying his best friend. So why couldn’t he properly regret it?
“You right?” Ryan asked.
“All good.”
Ryan glanced up at the building. “Don’t worry, bro. You’ll get back here if you want. You just need a breather. Time to get your head together. Barking’s the best place for it—even with my old man there. Come on, let’s grab a beer. My shout. You look like you could use one.”
At least that was the truth.