Chapter Twenty-One
Even with the sun already high in the deep blue sky mid-morning, the white silica sand was shockingly cool under Lachlan’s bare feet as he, Ryan, Jacko, Daz, and Sounder climbed the highest boarding hill. The quartz in the Lancelin sand made it glitter like diamonds.
They all wore sunnies and hats and long-sleeved rashies, but the autumn breeze was fresh.
By the top of the hill, Jacko was gasping, and they teased him even though Lachlan had to admit he was breathing heavier.
They joined the line of tourists from a coach tour who were sliding down on their bums on wooden sleds.
With a battle cry when the coast was clear, Daz jumped on his board and carved up the hill—before face-planting at the bottom. Laughing, they all took their turns, Lachlan’s pulse leaping as the adrenaline hit him as he surfed down the hill, glad for his sunnies to keep the sand out of his eyes.
They went up again and again, until at the end of a climb, Lachlan stepped out of the line and wandered to the back side of the hill for a break.
The turquoise ocean stretched out in the distance to the west with a strip of scrub land giving way to the white dunes. In the other direction, the white sand hills unfurled, the blue sky seeming lower than usual with the contrast in colors.
“How good’s this?” Ryan asked behind him, sticking his board upright in the sand beside Lachlan’s.
“Amazing. Thanks for bringing me. It’s exactly what I needed.”
In Daz’s SUV on the drive up, they’d talked shit about nothing. No one had brought up the last time they’d seen each other, and sitting beside Lachlan in the back seat, Ryan had seemed his normal self.
Normal aside from the moments Lachlan had sensed Ryan watching him from the corner of his eye like he was a puzzle Ryan was trying to decipher.
“Anytime, bro.”
“Yeah?”
“’Course.”
He had to say it. They couldn’t pretend. “Even if I’m still seeing Tim?”
“Timmm.” Ryan screwed up his face. “It’s so fuckin’ weird.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Ryan sighed. “Look, I want you to be happy. If this makes you happy… I guess it’s okay with me? Even if it’s fuckin’ weird.”
Lachlan exhaled, his words coming in a rush. “It does. It’s still early days, but…it really, really does. It makes us both happy. I like him so much.” He hesitated. “If you could give him a proper chance, I know you would too.”
“Hm. Mum says I’ve been mad at my dad for so long I can’t remember how not to be. She’s probably right. She usually is.”
“Mums tend to be.”
“Whaddya reckon yours would say? And your dad?”
Lachlan fidgeted. “Dunno. I hope they’d be accepting?”
“What’s Bel think?”
He squirmed some more. “Haven’t told her or Auntie Jo yet. I will.”
“Can you just do something for me?” Ryan asked. “Don’t bring him to Daz’s wedding? I’m not ready for that.”
“No worries. Don’t think we are either, honestly.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Of course. I don’t want to… Are we okay? You know how much you mean to me, right? I’m sorry I’ve been such a dickhead lately. Not just this thing with Tim. With you and the boys and not wanting to hang out.”
“Yeah, you kinda have been. But I guess I get it. You were never into metal and going out the way we were.” Ryan took off his sunglasses and squinted at Lachlan. “And look, that night we ended up at the beach? We were the dickheads. I’m sorry.”
“All good.”
Ryan motioned around them. “We can still do stuff like this, yeah? You don’t have to come out on the piss or to bush duffs like the old days. Reckon we should all grow up a little. We can still be mates, though.”
“Always. You know I never wanted to hurt you, right? If I could stop feeling like this for Tim, I would.”
Ryan blew out a big breath, his cheeks puffing. “I’m not gonna lie and say I’m stoked about it. But I want you to be happy. Dad too, I guess.” He was quiet for a few moments. “He was really worried about you the other night.”
Belly fluttering, Lachlan tried not to smile. “Yeah?” He wanted to say, Tell me more about this worry. No detail too small.
“It was so weird to see him like that. Like…a regular person.” Ryan scoffed.
“I mean, I know my parents are people. But they’ve always been Mum and Dad first. Never really thought about them with problems and other feelings the way I would with someone else.
Like, Mum’s poly. And Dad’s bi. There’s all this other stuff going on for them.
They aren’t just my parents. Reckon I should’ve realized that before I was thirty, hey? ”
“Never too late. I wish I could’ve known my parents as an adult. Become friends with them. I hope I would’ve.”
“You would for sure, Lachie. No doubt.”
“Thanks.”
“The other night… He said he was proud of me. Dunno for what.”
“Of course he’s proud. You’re an incredible lifeguard. And friend. You always show up. You’re doing it right now. Even after what I’ve done, you’re here.” Tears burned Lachlan’s eyes, and he sucked in a shaky breath. “You’re my brother.”
“Fuck, don’t make me cry.” Ryan sniffed loudly. “You’re my brother always. Guess you might be my stepdad one day too.”
A laugh punched out of Lachlan, and he took off his sunnies to wipe his eyes. “Let’s not jump the gun there. Early days.”
“Got a feeling it’s gonna last. I know you. And even if I need to know him better, I saw his face the other night.” Ryan shrugged. “Sometimes, you can’t put it into words. It’s instinct.”
Lachlan’s heart swelled. “I know what you mean.”
Ryan peered into the distance, shielding his eyes with his hand. “Looks like diamonds, hey?”
“That’s what I thought.”
“I might buy one soon.”
“A diamond? Why?” It hit him a moment later. “Bro! Are you proposing to Jodie?”
“She’s talkin’ about moving back down to Barkers, and we’ll live together. See how that goes first.”
“That makes sense.” He nudged Ryan with his elbow. “Exciting, though. What do your instincts say?”
Ryan fought a smile. “She’s the one. Mum thinks so. Mum also says I need to ‘open my heart’ and ‘welcome love and joy into the fabric of my life.’ Sounds like Jodie’s yoga teacher.”
“You’re going to classes?” Lachlan grinned. “How is it?”
“Harder than it looks, mate. My hips are tight as.”
“Same. I should try it. I’d like to get to know Jodie better. I’ve barely met her.” He raised his hands. “Just me, I promise.”
“Yeah, I’m not ready for couples yoga with my dad.” Ryan shook his head. “Who would’ve thought—Lachie Yang seducing my old man in Bali. Didn’t think ya had it in ya.”
He had to laugh. “Me either!”
Ryan nudged Lachlan’s shoulder with his. “Ready to be back at the beach tomorrow?”
Lachlan breathed through the rush of guilt and sadness. “Yeah. If I wait too long, it’ll get harder. No word on the search?”
“Not last time I checked.” Ryan pulled out his phone, then stopped. “Let’s wait before we look. Nothin’ we can do about it out here.”
“I just wish…” Lachlan held up his hands and dropped them.
“I know. Every lifeguard wishes the same thing when this happens.”
More tears spilled down Lachlan’s cheeks. “I never want to feel like this again.”
Ryan pulled him into a hug. “None of us do. We try our best. It wasn’t your fault.”
Lachlan sniffed loudly. “Thanks, brother.” He gave Ryan a squeeze before stepping back.
“Right, let’s stop talking about our fuckin’ feelings.” Ryan wiped his eyes, then shoved Lachlan’s shoulder and bolted. “Race you!”
“Not fair!” Lachlan shouted, grabbing his board and running after his best friend, laughing too hard to mind Ryan’s head start.
How bad can it be?
Lachlan chuckled at the text from Tim as he paced around the pool. The sun had just set, and he’d been checking the time for an hour, waiting. He typed back:
Good point considering how Ry found out.
The typing bubbles danced, and Lachlan had to pinch himself. He and Tim were texting now. Yes, they’d texted briefly before, but now they were texting…normally. Like a couple would.
Tim replied: Exactly. Let me know when to come.
Grinning, Lachlan couldn’t resist typing:
No coming until you’re here.
Tim’s reply was one word, no punctuation:
Christ
Lachlan was still giddy—Damo would say he was “frothin’”—when his phone buzzed with Bel’s face on the screen.
“Hiya!” she said with a smile. Her wavy hair was cut into a bob that brushed her chin, and she wore scarlet lipstick.
“Hey.” Lachlan flipped on the overhead light and perched on the outdoor couch. “You look glam. Going out tonight?”
“Nah, I had lunch with some of the other engineers’ wives, which turned into afternoon drinks. Only one of the engineers is a woman. It’s so old school. And it feels like everything and everyone in Singapore is designer as. My Kmart smart casual wasn’t cutting it.”
“Oh no, you had to go shopping. Are you okay?”
She put on a pained expression. “It’s been rough, but I’m hanging in there.”
“Stay strong, sis.”
Bel’s smile faded. “I heard there was a drowning.”
Stomach dropping with the reminder, Lachlan nodded. “I tried so hard to reach him. If he’d come up one more time…”
“Wait, what?” Her eyes were wide. “You were there? Why didn’t you tell me? I assumed you hadn’t been on duty!”
“I’m okay. Everyone’s been great. It’s tough for all of us.”
“Yes, but I’m concerned about you.”
He smiled softly. “I’m okay. Cried a lot at first. But we all know this can happen.”
“Knowing and experiencing are two different things.”
“Yeah.” Swallowing hard, he said, “I took today off. Went to Lancelin with Ry and the boys. Needed the distraction.”
“I can imagine. God. Did they find him yet?”
“This arvo, a few kilometers away. I wasn’t there.”
“Good.” She blew out a breath. “Shit, Lachie. You sure you’re right?”
Images of the patient’s hand reaching up from the water before disappearing filled his mind. “I was so close, Bel. Meters. Another five seconds, and I would’ve had him. But he didn’t come up again.”
“Oh, bub. I’m sorry.”